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People Reveal The Absolute Best Insults They've Seen Someone Land

Reddit user MirrorFunhouse asked: 'What's an insult that's been thrown at you (or you heard toward someone else) that you actually admired or just made you laugh?'

person looking shocked
Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash

We all have those moments when we want to have the perfect comeback, but we draw a complete blank.

Until three days later when we have an epiphany about what we should have said.

Well, maybe these bons mots can put some weapons in your arsenal.

Reddit user MirrorFunhouse asked:

"What's an insult that's been thrown at you (or you heard toward someone else) that you actually admired or just made you laugh?"

So many insults to choose from...

"You look like someone who would pre-heat the microwave."

~ triggamon

microwave GIF Giphy

Some are one-liners.

"It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others."

~ triggamon

Others require a little set up.

"My best friend and I were roasting each other.

"Me: 'What are you going to say to me that my parents haven't already said?'"

"Her: 'I'm proud of you'."

~ Normal-Kangaroo9209

"I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong."

~ triggamon

Donald Trump wrong GIF Giphy

" It’s not worth insulting you as nature has already done enough damage."

~ triggamon

"Heard one of my sister’s bullies call her fat and mock her weight at school."

"She just yelled back 'B*tch you’re the f'king ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, I can lose weight, what the f'k are you going to do about that face?'”

~ ViciousFlowers

“You think in low power mode.”

~ triggamon

low power GIF Giphy

“You’ve got two brain cells left and they’re competing for third place”

~ kirbyourenthuasiam

"I like 'you only have two brain cells, but one of them is lost and the other went looking for it'."

~ MurderousButterfly

"Or 'you only have two brain cells left, and they're each trying to bum a smoke off the other'."

~ The_Lab_Rat_

" You are living proof that the education system needs better funding."

~ triggamon

“Wisdom has been chasing you, but you’ve always been faster.”

~ triggamon

Running Man GIF by MOODMAN


“You’re as smart as you look.”

~ triggamon

"Random dude online told me to go back to Mexico when I made a joke about the US medical insurance costs."

"I corrected him saying I was Canadian, and he replied with 'stfu, you're just a snow Mexican then'."

"For some reason I just immediately imagined a dude removing snow off his car while wearing a sombrero and laughed for a good 3 minutes."

~ PleasingPotato

"Que pasa, eh?"

~ VolatileUtopian

"As a Canadian living in Texas, my stepdad would call us icebacks."

~ Dudhist

"I can only explain it to you, I can't understand it for you."

~ triggamon

Confused Kevin James GIF by TV Land Giphy

"You're intellectually on the ground already and what do you do?"

"Begin to dig."

~ triggamon

Self owns are rife with opportunities.

"My friend got in a heated argument with her son (nothing new, they’re both hot-tempered) and she called him a son-of-a-b*tch and he said 'that’s right, I am!!' And they both cracked up laughing."

~ Sola_Bay

"My cousin jokingly called her teenage son a son-of-a-b*tch and I laughed and said 'You just called yourself a b*tch!' and then she told me to f'k off. It was great!"

~ Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"My friend once had the same thing happen and shouted back: 'At least we can agree on something, MOM!' His mom was pissed as soon as she figured it out a hot second later, but his dad tried his hardest to keep a straight face."

~ Lord-Redbeard

“You look like you have a favorite flavor of glue.”

~ triggamon

The Simpsons Eating GIF Giphy

"I envy people that didn't get to know you."

~ triggamon

"In elementary a kid once shouted at me 'you're so weird, you probably were able to read the paper when you were THREE YEARS OLD!!'."

"Basically he called me 'smart' to my face."

~ kuunwiir

"Unintentional compliments are the best. You know they aren’t lying because they tried to insult you."

"My brother said to me ‘you look 16 at age 20' and I was like 'OMG THANKS'."

~ Easy_Set4108

"You behave like someone who snacked on lead paint too often as a child."

~ triggamon

GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy

"You're not the dumbest person on Earth, but if I were you I'd hope that person doesn't die soon."

~ triggamon

"In my early teens I told a good friend of mine (roughly translated) 'Dude, you're like the king of all dumba**es!'."

"Without missing a beat he asked 'Shouldn't you obey me, then?'."

"At that point I had to admit I had indeed gotten got. It's been over 20 years and it still burns a bit."

~ Celphii

"I'd explain it to you in a way even you'd understand, but I have neither the time nor the crayons."

~ triggamon

crayons GIF by Tracy Myers Giphy

"Your self-confidence contradicts your expertise."

~ triggamon

"My friend and I were at a place known for its clubs and drinking spots. We were waiting for our car when a man was hitting on us and inviting us to drink."

"Dude told us he's 47 and without hesitation, I asked 'Oh, so are you here with your kids?'."

"My friend was holding in a laugh while I was just clueless why, then I realized I pretty much called him an oldie."

~ kwirinkyy

"Some tree is woking its a** off to produce the oxygen you're consuming."

"You owe that tree an apology."

~ triggamon

tree GIF Giphy

"I had a Mexican girlfriend who was self-conscious about her bad grammar in English. She got into an argument with another girl in English."

"She suddenly turns to me and points at the other girl and says, 'she is a little b*tch', then just jumps back into the argument. I found it a bit odd, but whatever."

"Afterward I ask her were you trying to bring me into the argument by telling me she was a little b*tch? She said 'no, I just wanted to call her a little b*tch and wasn't sure if it was, you are a little b*tch or you is a little b*tch. I knew she is a little b*tch was correct so I said that, but I couldn't say that to her, so I just said it to you'."

"The delivery carried some weight, and there were many subtle elements, although unintentional. There was uninvolved 3rd party verification, and it felt like she was undermining her that she was such a little b*tch that she didn't even bother directly telling her."

"It was very effective. The other girl was visually dissed."

~ MoneyShotMalone

"My expectations towards you were low and what do you do?"

"The limbo."

~ triggamon

limbo belt GIF Giphy

So do you have a favorite comeback?

If not, you have some to choose from now.

Small Slights That Made People Feel Majorly Betrayed By Their Significant Other

Reddit user _Halboro_ asked: 'What was something fairly small that made you feel betrayed by your SO?'

a man and a woman walking in the desert

NEOM on Unsplash

When you're in a relationship, the things your significant other—or sig-O—does hit different.

Teasing remarks you'd laugh off from friends can feel like a knife in the heart when your romantic partner says it.

Minor slights can easily become major issues in your relationship if you feel vulnerable.

Keep reading... Show less

There's this ongoing, universal joke that no one reads user's manuals for new items, so often items aren't built or used quite the way they were intended.

But some products, whether there's a user's manual involved or not, will be used for activities that they were in no way designed for.

Redditor OfficialDampSquid asked:

"What product is rarely used for its intended purpose?"


" Clothespins have spent years keeping bags of chips closed in my house, not a minute hanging up clothes."

- jpiro

" Great in the shop as mini clamps, specifically when gluing the linings to acoustic guitars."

- Fluffy-Anything-5528

Free Parking Corner

" The corner that says FREE PARKING on the Monopoly board."

- DanielleAntenucci

" I don’t know one single person who plays that game correctly. It’s insane how house rules caught on and became almost universal."

- Dr_broadnoodle

Cotton Swaps

" I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I use a Q-Tip correctly."


"9 5 percent for cleaning electronics. Five percent for cleaning your ears."

- Fried-Pig-Dogs

Bubble Wrap

" Bubble wrap. It was invented as a wallpaper in the 1950s."

- fuzzysarge

"Just mist down your windows with plain water and the bubble wrap just sticks by itself."

" I didn't know this trick when I had to make a bathroom more private. As a stopgap, I just sprayed the windows with fake Christmas snow."

- RedditZamak

For Surgical Purposes

"K-Y Jelly was originally developed as a surgical lubricant."

- JiveChicken00

Fixes Everything

" Duct tape. Works on everything but ducts. (They make a special tape for that, and it’s not called duct tape.)"

- ImpliedSlashS

From War to Screen Doors

" WD-40 was originally created to stop nuclear missiles from rusting."

- ShoopufJockey

Great for Kids Crafts

" I want to say pool noodles. I see a new craft for them weekly and rarely see them actually in a pool."

- gigieileen

Baking Powder Uses

"N ot 'rarely used' per se, but the amount of baking powder not used for baking things is quite high."

- DayOk6350

" You can use it to instantly set super glue and create a stronger bond that is as hard as plastic and nowhere near as brittle as a regular superglue bonding."

- Happy-Personality-23

The Question Is In the Name

" Glove compartment in a car. Who actually has gloves in them? I think they are a throwback to when people had driving gloves."

- Urbanredneck2

Yardstick Purpose

" Yardsticks."

- procrastinatorsuprem

" When I was in school, all the teacher ever used it for was to smack the chalkboard to get everybody's attention when the class was acting up."

- Rich_handsome

" We use it to push the button on the smoke alarm, get spider webs on the ceiling, and every once in a while measure how deep a snow storm is."

- procrastinatorsuprem

Treadmill... Closets

"Treadmills at home."

" Or any exercising equipment at home... ends up being a clothes holder."

- shubidoobie

Mouths Instead

" Listerine was originally sold as a floor cleaner."

- mtgkajhit

"Listerine was one of those products which was marketed to do literally anything to do with clearing."

" It was also used as a medical antiseptic during surgery."

- Woffingshire

Great for Crafts

"Pipe cleaners."

"Does that count if they’re called “chenille stems”, brightly colored, and for sale alongside kids’ craft supplies?"

" Because if that does count, so should Play-Doh. It was originally invented to clean wallpaper, but once kids started playing with it (it had been nontoxic from the beginning IIRC) they changed the marketing and sold it in lots of colors."

- DBSeamZ

Cell Phones

" Mobile phones, used for anything, except for making phone calls."

- FatCat_85

" Mobile phones are used for their intended purposes, but that purpose has just changed over time."

- Reddit

These products are all a great example of how products can have multiple purposes, which technically means we can have fewer items in our homes, which means fewer things to clean!

And if cleaning the floor is a concern, apparently we can use the Listerine... while brushing our teeth. Who knew?

Stacked burger
Lefteris kallergis/GettyImages

The food industry is highly competitive with restaurants duking it out to stay relevant.

They do this by presenting diners a spin or a gimmick on classic entrees.

While some eateries succeed by a wide margin, many fail by coming up with bizarre dishes that may seem inventive but fall flat on the palate.

This just goes to show that you shouldn't mess with what already works. But playing it safe is just bad for business, though. Right?

Well, customers chimed in when Redditor Fremblem_Feldsher asked:

"What is the most overrated dish in the world?"

Some people thought gourmet burgers were all hype and in bad taste.

Bigger Isn't Better

"'Gourmet' burgers. You pay top dollar and get a burger that's difficult to eat (stacked to high and falls apart) and where there's so much attention to toppings you can hardly taste the beef and cheese."

"Anything made with truffle oil gets an honorable mention."

– Treantmonk

Too Many Toppings

"$18, tall, stacked, giant burgers slathered in fifteen different condiments and toppings. They're hard to eat and usually not as good as a simple burger."

– hiro111

"Burgers should be wider not taller. I don't want to take a single bite only to lose half the toppings from the other side."

– ProphetOfPhil

Not Lovin' It

"Knife and fork burgers are bullsh*t. I hate the feeling of having to rush through eating my burger because my hands and gave are slathered in sauce."

"If it's stacked and/or messy af, it's not a good burger, even if it tastes good. It's some kind of knife and fork entree but definitely not a burger."

– FictionalContext

Sometimes people want something sweet without going over the top.

Identity Crisis

"It’s not a dish, but those milkshakes that you see that have chocolate all over the glass and a giant piece of cake on top. Ruins the milkshake with the crumbs mixing into it, and honestly could of put the cake on a plate and let us eat it normally".

– Meckles94

Dough-Not Want It

"Donuts from places known for 'cRaZy' donuts. The most 'extreme' donuts I’ve ever had were the most mediocre. They tasted like somebody put stale cereal on top of grocery store donuts."

– cppadam

Behind The Scenes

"I work with a guy whose wife runs her own bakery. He told me that most of the places selling donuts these days don't actually make their own donuts. They buy pre-made dough that is uncooked. Then the places doctor them up. Hence, the stale cereal on grocery store donuts taste. It's because that's exactly what they are."

"Apparently, making multiple types of all homemade donuts is a lot of work. I go to a Mennonite bakery at a farmers market who make all of their own stuff, dough and all. They are legit working from before they open until after they close."

– qotsa_gibs

A Big Twist...And Not The Glazed Kind

"There's a place in Niagara Falls called Country Fresh Donuts and they've got some of the best donuts I've ever had. Their long johns are the stars of the show, but their other donuts are also super good."

"Big twist? They excel at wonton soup. Anyone who goes there goes for the soup first, donuts later. It helps that they're open 24 hours a day (or, they were at one point). 3am wonton soup and a donut is mana from heaven."

– SimonCallahan

Mini Cakes

"Cupcakes during their 2009-2014 reign of terror."

– JonathanWattsAuthor

"With the icing piled so high it would go up your nose"

– Live_Reindeer7833

Not everyone fancies a fancy meal.

History Of Lobster

"Lobsters used to be peasant food - they literally fed it to prisoners. It's weird how things change, but like most things it just comes down to supply and demand."

"Lobster is quite hard to farm so, although it's not a hard-to-come-by food unless you're very far from the sea, there is still a bit more effort required in producing them. Couple that with their image as a 'luxury' seafood, which increases demand, and you get high prices."

– fantalemon

Not Worth The Hype

"Any steak from Salt Bae’s restaurants."

– WishboneCrazy9289

"Controversial but I think steak in general is overrated. I love steak and have some really good servings in nice places but I still think it isn’t as good as people go on about."

– itsyaboigreg

How Posh

"Expensive food with gold shavings. What's that about? Do you eat it to feel rich and powerful or something? I'm sure gold doesn't taste very good and is not normally supposed to be eaten."

– thegreatc*msl*t

"You can buy the gold foil on its own and it's cheaper than you'd expect (still expensive)"

"After trying on on its own, I can say gold is one of the lower ranking metals that I've tasted. Silver, stainless steel, and titanium all taste better. I'd put gold in the same tier as copper, above aluminum."

"Edit: to explain how I know this, someone asked me for advice on different types of silverware and I had to try it out myself before recommending anything. The copper is an exception as that was a dare."

– Notbbupdate

I see the appeal for Instagramming food, but if the beautiful food items photographed in portrait mode are making me salivate, they better deliver on my taste buds.

I actually patronized a diner that advertised an amazing pancake dish that had caramel sauce with crushed pecan and whipped cream. The idea looked better on paper.

When I order the breakfast delight in question, it looked nothing like how it was pictured. It was flat, messy, and undesirable.

And of course it tasted horrible. I was a sucker for that damn Instagram post.

Sometimes food is all hype. That's the worst kind, especially if you're a sucker like me and you fall for it.

As children, when we saw grown-ups behave in certain ways, we more than likely promised ourselves we would never be like them.

That we would never lose our temper at minor things, groan over the slightest ache in our bodies, or choose work over fun.

However, when adulthood creeps up on us, certain things about the person you become you have little to no control over.

As a result, you might find yourself screaming at children for being too noisy or going to bed at 9:15 instead of seeing a midnight screening of your favorite movie and realizing that you have become the very thing you've been trying to avoid your entire life.

Redditor UglyLikeCaillou was curious to hear what type of person the Reddit community ended up becoming, despite vowing they wouldn't, leading them to ask:

"What type of person did you swear to never turn into growing up, but did anyway?"

Letting It Out Can Ease The Pain...

"The one that makes noises when I get up off the floor."- tutohooto

The Wise Know The Vital Importance Of Being Silly

"I swore I’d never stop being goofy."

"That I’d always try to find the positive and wouldn’t give up hope."

"But then life happened."

"It’s hard staying an emotionally sensitive and caring person when so many people are just plain mean."- Lucky_Garbage5537

It's Possible, Even In A Room Full Of People...

"I never thought I would grow up to be so lonely, but here I am."- oldbaldgrumpy

Sad Season 2 GIF by Friends Giphy

Temper Temper...

"An angry person."

"Life and people are just too much all the time."- Jumpy-Air-3385

Some Call It Frugal, Others Call It Cheap....

"The kind that put something back cause the store brand was 20 cents cheaper."- penndelnj

A Far Too Common Occurrence

"I never thought I'd live paycheck to paycheck by my age."

"I thought I'd be on my way to being financially independent by now, in fact."

"It's always been my goal, I was willing to work so hard from such a young age and never scared to make sacrifices but unfortunately my people-reader is skewed and all I ever really got was taken advantage of."

"It's not too late, I'm smarter now and I'll get there."- FriendCountZero

2 Chainz Pockets GIF by MOST EXPENSIVEST Giphy

Working Hard For The Money...

"A corporate slave."- lapdanze

"My dad was an engineer and I vowed to never be like him in any way."

"Growing up, I always said over my dead body would i become a corporate slave chained to a desk."

"Guess who is a desk jockey engineer now."- Lame_usernames_left

Watch Your Mouth!

"If my child self met my adult self, he’d tell me that I shouldn’t say so many bad words."- BarthRevan

The Apple Doesn't Fall Very Far From The Tree...

"My dad."- PolarBearChuck

"The most relatable one, nobody wants to become their parents, it’s horrible (unless you have good parents)."- Fine-Macaroon-3202

season 2 episode 6 GIF Giphy

The Comfort Of Your Own Home...

"A homebody."

"In my early 20’s I would never miss an opportunity to go out on Thurs, Friday, or Sat night and couldn’t understand why my parents would ‘waste’ a perfectly good weekend night, just to stay home."

"Now I get it. MAN, do I get it."

Derogatory Term, Or Term Of Endearment?

"I remember learning what a nerd was and thinking 'thank God I'm not a nerd' as I went home from school to play Pokemon Emerald and talk on Pokemon message boards about the upcoming Diamond and Pearl games."- hectoByte

Early To Bed, Early To Rise

"The dad that gets up at 4:30 am to exercise, and is ready for bed by 9 pm."- GreyPilgrim1973

Work Out Pain GIF by I Want You Back Movie Giphy

Beauty Comes In All Sizes...


"Not super big, but not skinny anymore."- hoosierhiver

One Can Indeed Be The Loneliest Number...

"Crotchety, single old lady."

"I'm only sometimes crotchety, but I'm almost fifty and still single!"- GimmeUrNachos

Love What You Do! If You Can...

"An office drone."

"Redditing as we speak to avoid looking at yet another ghastly eyesore of a spreadsheet.'

"Why have we done this to ourselves as a civilization?"- onemanmelee

Still Waiting Office Tv GIF by The Office Giphy

Growing up can be scary, hence why we always promise ourselves we won't turn out a certain way.

Even so, some things about the type of person we grow up to be are completely out of our control.

And rather than bemoan our current situation, it's always best to embrace it and enjoy the precious time we have on Earth with our family and friends.

And maybe cut our parents a little slack for the behavior we judged them so harshly on as children...