Admit it. You've faced the ordeal. You're one link in a circle of awkward, business casual-clad strangers. One facilitator is trying muster enthusiasm.
But it's a tone deaf plea, ecstasy out of place. And everyone is staring. They await the fun fact you don't have.
Each time the fun fact ice breaker comes along it's the same internal monologue:
“I dealt with exactly this last time, told myself I'd remember a good one I hear, and pocket that to use forever."
Alas, life happened. You didn't take note and now you're in the spotlight again, wide-eyed and flailing.
Reddit's got you. Take your pick of the litter.
bamboobmab asked, "What has always been your fun fact when asked?"
"A woman once jumped off the 86th floor of the Empire State Building but the wind pushed her back and she fell on a ledge on the 85th floor. She survived."
“Earn It, Adolf.”
"During World War 2, when the Nazis took over France, the government of France destroyed the elevator in the Eiffel Tower so if Hitler wanted to plant a flag on top of the tower, he would have to take the stairs to the top."
Bear With a Butt Plug
"Before bears hibernate, they eat a bunch of twigs and grass to plug up their butts so that they don't have to wake up in the middle of the winter to poop."
"Then when they do wake up in the spring, they have these really rough massive ones."Giphy
Did This Man Have Children Putting up Wallpaper?
"Play-Doh was originally designed to remove soot from wallpaper. The only reason it became a toy was because vinyl wallpaper became a thing, making his product obsolete."
"The creator needed to save the company and accidentally found that kids loved the stuff. After making it safe to play with, it was then marketed for kids."
"The reason why it is the 'top 40' is that jukeboxes could fit 40 records, and the owners would use the top 40 list as a way to know which records to buy (as the more popular ones would get played more, and thus get more money)."Giphy
Sounds Like a Surefire Collision
"Albatrosses can sleep when they fly." IPlayPianoSometimes
"Car drivers too!" thatguyfromvienna
"'I want to die in my sleep peacefully like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.' --Jack Handey" Restless_Fillmore
Until the Thing Grooms an Ear Lobe in Half...
"Ever seen a pet bird trying to pull their owner's jewellery (earrings, bracelets, metal things mainly) out/away from them?"
"It can be annoying and painful but it's actually a sign of affection - they think the owner has things stuck in their feathers and are trying to preen/groom them!"
Divisions on Divisions
"A second is called a second because it is the 2nd division of the hour by 60, the 1st division being a minute." elee0228
- "'The first small part' in Latin is 'pars minuta prima,' hence 'minute.'"
- "'The second small part' in Latin is 'pars minuta secunda,' hence 'second.'" MattSR30
"Almost exactly 90 years ago, Pluto was discovered (Feb 18, 1930)."
"Since its discovery, it has not completed a single orbit around the sun. In fact, it's only gone about 1/3rd of the way around in all that time."
Running on Fumes
"Cheetahs can sprint for about 17 seconds straight. After that they have to stop because they generate so much heat from the exertion that if they continued running they would literally cook their own brains."
Happy to See Getting That Far is More Common These Days
"The reason why you flip the first cigarette in the packet upside down and leave it until you've finished the packet is because it's 'lucky.'"
"But it's not the cig that's lucky, the custom came during WW2, and if you lived long enough to smoke the cigarette, YOU were lucky."