We spend a lot of time talking about the toxic aspects of masculinity, but there's so much more to being "manly" than anger and weird smells.
Reddit user Acolyte_000 asked:
"We hear a lot about toxic masculinity, but what are your favourite examples of positive masculinity?"
There's stuff like figure skating, tea parties, and warm hugs - take a look at what we mean.
"Gym bros randomly appearing to spot or encourage is hilarious and positive."
"I was trying to figure out a machine at the gym, when I was 19. I was chubby, female (still female, fyi) and wearing glasses. My gym clothes was just sweatpants."
"I did NOT look like I belonged, and I didn’t feel like it either."
"So yeah, I’m standing there looking all confused when this huge gym bro comes over and asks me if I need help. I say yes, and he proceeds to explain to me how the machine works. He is not condescending or anything, just real nice."
"Gyms still freak me out, but it meant a lot to me that this dude saw I looked confused and went out of his way to help me. Small things like that always make me feel like humanity is alright."
- simulatislacrimisWorking Out Lifting Weights GIF by Chance The RapperGiphy
"I feel like I owe it to the world."
"I was once an overweight 19 year old trying to figure how to gym. I've had so many random people help me along the way including professional strongmen, bodybuilders, elite powerlifters, and people with decades of experience."
"90% of the people I've interacted with at the gym have been extremely helpful and thankful."
"Over a decade of training and it's apparent to most that I can lift some big weight. I make it a point to help the younger lifters. Most of the time it really makes their day, they learn something new and are appreciative."
"I’m a woman who usually lifts solo, and a good guy friend is a hardcore gym bro who texts fantastic advice (bonus - usually only when I ask for it!) and encouragement. That’s awesome by itself."
"But once I joined him and his friends for leg day and witnessed super positive masculinity that struck me as so cool - the way they hyped each other up, encouraged/spotted each other to 'give me one more, come on you got this!!!' and congratulated each other after was just so pure and cool to watch."
"It’s not that women don’t do something similar, I think what made me really notice this was just that it was the different masculine style of doing it? It was awesome."
"My husband switching seats on an airline with a teenage girl being harassed by an old creep."
"He's very large, bearded, and wears metal t-shirts. He plopped down next to creeper and said 'you said you were buying drinks?' "
"F*ck yeah! Metalheads might look scary, but you'd be hard pressed to find a more friendly and welcoming bunch!"
"As a mom of 2 daughters, I appreciate this so much. What a great guy!"
"I fell asleep on the sofa after a really hard day, but I was sort of dozing, not fully asleep."
"My 16 year old son came into the room, saw me sleeping, and started tiptoeing around, shut the blinds, turned the lights off and covered me in a blanket because he was going to use the backyard gym which required a window to be open for an extension lead and he didn't want me to get cold."
"It was just so thoughtful and did surprise me a bit because he normally has tunnel vision."
"He's also really stepped up the last few weeks, I've been on sick leave, I'm a nurse and got attacked by a patient so have my hand in a soft cast for ligament damage."
"He's cooked pretty much every evening. He has also been meal planning for the week. I am married, but it's turned into a bit of 'us time' and he's really enjoying learning to cook."
"I'm so proud of him and told him this the other day and we had a huge hug. I love him so much."
Figure Skating Fans
"I’m a figure skater."
"We share the ice with hockey players, and I cannot get over how nice it feels when hockey players get rowdy and bang on the glass and cheer when you’re doing something cool, the same way a hockey fan would at an exciting hockey game."
"It’s hilarious but it’s also confidence inducing."
"When it first happened, I thought they were trolling me. I just rolled my eyes and continued my practice. But when I got off the ice, I was swarmed with questions like:"
“ 'HOW DO YOU DO ALL THAT WITHOUT PADDING OR A HELMET?!' ”
“ 'HOW DO YOU LAUNCH YOURSELF INTO THE AIR LIKE THAT?' ”
“ 'AREN’T YOU AFRAID OF FALLING?' ”
“ 'DON’T YOU GET DIZZY SPINNING THAT FAST?'"
"It’s wholesome as f*ck. They’re genuinely intrigued by this sport."
"A bunch of dudes who make their own sport even more entertaining by beating the sh*t out of each other have no shame in getting rowdy to hype up their figure skating counterparts."
"I know how skating works and just jumping and spinning like you do is voodoo, at least to me."
"I get pucks shot at my head, but what you do seems a lot more dangerous! And you make it look good, it's really impressive."
- figaaroCelebrate Ice Hockey GIF by NHLGiphy
5 Minutes To Get Some Pants On
"Using pickup trucks to help others out."
"Need help moving? In the Ditch? Stuck in the snow? 'Gimme 5 mins to throw some pants on and I'm there.' "
"A lot of guys around me just drive around in their pickups during snowstorms to pull out people who are stuck. Or they carry chainsaws with them to cut trees that are blocking the roadways."
"That's my circle! I've had to leave in the middle of the night several times for random... 'dude I need help.' "
"My favorite to date was 'You're not going to believe this but I am stuck, bring your floor jack and chainsaw..' "
"He was literally stuck on top of a tree stump."
Lift Like A Leader
"I had a boss that was a real muscle head, but in a good way. Every time someone was having a bad/rough time he'd suggest we take a long lunch and go with him to the gym."
"He did this with multiple co-workers, taught a lot of us how to properly squat and deadlift."
"This was like 7 years ago, and I still squat and deadlift regularly, where as before I would simply just use the treadmill and maybe the circuit room at the gym."
"Not saying I'm in peak physical condition, but certainly in a better spot after him helping."
"That's not a boss dude, that's a leader."
"Exercise really is meditation."
"You get so focused on the movement, on the exertion, that it takes your focus, and your thoughts are no longer on what was previously stressing you."
"That is dope. Exercise is such a great stress reliever and there’s no reason that 'work' needs to only take place in the office."
"If a manager needs to talk something through with their worker, why not do it on the bench or at the rack?"
"Me and my former boss might have had better discussions if we’d done that rather than sitting 1:1 in his office with me uncomfortable as hell."
"Manly dads who patiently sit on the floor and have a tea party with their toddler daughters."
"Speaking from experience, it's relaxing as f*ck."
"Lets me forget that the world is on my shoulders while I just sip some tea with My daughter, Barbie, and the LOL dolls."
"I’m 6’3 200lbs but I have a toddler niece that loves tea parties."
"If she puts a tiara on my head and tells me we’re having a tea party , you bet I’m going deep into character as Mrs. Nesbitt!"
"It'll be the best tea party of your life. Trust me."
"Also it helps when there’s young men around. I have little brothers and I think it’s important to show that you can do things not perceived as masculine. And vice versa for women."
- Sammsquanchhyou need to calm down queer eye GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy
"In high school one time, a guy gave his guy best friend a birthday gift. Guy 2 loved it so much he gave guy 1 the biggest hug in the middle of class."
"I think everyone’s hearts melted. All guys should be that confident / allowed to be that confident."
"Positive friendships between men are SO important. Men being able to share their feelings and navigate their experiences with other men is too rare."
"I got my homie a succulent for his birthday!"
Hairy Sweaty Guardian Angels
"A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was a 13-year-old girl alone on a Greyhound bus from Florida to Georgia."
"I was on that stupid bus for 2 days. For the first 4 hours, the creepiest hobo in the universe sat next to me, randomly trying to grab me - who was 13 years old and alone on the bus."
"Then these two guys who were going all the way to Washington State and were going to be on that bus for 4 days to get to a logging job, boarded the bus. One was a 17-year-old kid and the other one was a 45 year old man."
"They ousted the hobo and sat with me the rest of the way, the 17-year-old sharing stories about growing up in Miami in a very intolerant Latino household, and the 45-year-old Man spent that time showing me pictures of his daughters and telling me all about them and how hard he was working to make sure they had everything they needed."
"They made sure I got dinner that night, they made sure I got breakfast the next morning, and they made sure that I safely made it from the bus to the main campus of Georgia tech University, for the stupid 'Future Engineering' teen conference I had to go to."
"That trip could have been a horror story for me at the tender age of 13. I do not know how in the world my mother thought this was safe in any way, to send me to Georgia by myself on a Greyhound bus at 13."
"Those two dudes were, to put it simply, my hairy and sweaty guardian angels."
"Norwegian blonde dude and Latino kid, it has been decades since this went down, but I still remember you both and always will."
Reddit loves a good man and now we have examples of just what that means.
You've heard their stories, now it's your turn. Tell us about your brush with positive masculinity in the comments!
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Many people lie or exaggerate about seemingly little things. For example, I've wondered if many are lying or at the very least stretching the truth about the number of partners they've had.
One of those strange things where half of the people are lying and making the number higher, and the other half are lying and making it lower.
It's funny, isn't it? But you do you! What do we know?
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor SleepingOmibozu asked the online community,
"What's something you're 100% sure most people are lying about?"
"How much their side hustle nets them."
When it comes to side hustles, everyone is much more successful than they actually are.
"Steroid abuse in the fitness industry."
This is a big one. So many people who say they're natural are juicing.
"I have read..."
"I have read and understood the terms and conditions..."
Stop attacking me! I did not ask for this!
"That they don't..."
"That they don’t pick their nose."
Yeah, right. The number of people I've seen digging for gold in public is so high.
"Fully understanding the plot of the Metal Gear Solid series."
I stopped trying to. Do I get a cookie? I'd love one.
"How often they clean..."
"How often they clean their bed sheets."
I'm not even going to ask. I think I will be seriously horrified by the answer.
"If you're not busy..."
"About their productivity levels. If you’re not busy, you’re not a good person."
Yeah, whatever. This is as bad as bragging about not taking breaks at work. It's not a good look.
"So many lies."
"Their income. So many lies."
Many people feel very self conscious about their salaries. It's sad.
"Why they're late."
"Why they’re late."
I'm not late often but when I am it's usually because of something ridiculous where if I said the truth it would sound like a lie.
"Hating the word..."
"Hating the word 'moist.'"
I love the word moist and I won't apologise.
You mean there are still people going on about this? It's just a word, people. Calm down.
Life's a competition, apparently. Take what a lot of people tell you with a grain of salt. That's the best advice.
Have some observations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
I once met a guy who, by all accounts, appeared to have given up. And by that, I mean that they had pretty much decided that life basically ended in the 1970s and early 1980s. He had no interest in modern technology, was remarkably out of the loop when it came to technology or even current events.
This was all very frustrating to witness, but he was actually proud of himself! Proud to not know much–if anything–about the modern world. (And then he complained about how he kept having trouble finding a job.)
It was quite the flex–an unimpressive one at that.
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor metallicmuffin asked the online community,'
"What unimpressive things are people idiotically proud of?"
"Missing breaks at work for a company that wouldn’t care if they died the next day."
This is a big one. It's not cute. Take your break! There's more to life than work!
"Not eating any vegetables. Known a few people state it as if it's some kind of achievement giving themselves constipation."
Knew somebody like this. They wanted to go out on a date.
We did not go out on a date.
"Going into work while sick. Had a coworker who bragged on social media about having strep throat, but was still working because she 'values hard work.'"
Some people appear to have missed the memo that risking other people's health is not a bragging right.
"I know people..."
"Drinking a lot. I know people, grown @ss people in their late 20s, who will brag about passing out on their lawns because they couldn’t make it from the car to the front door."
To be fair, they're in their 20s and most people are idiots then. They might grow out of it!
"I once had..."
"I once had a coworker brag about how dark his pee is."
Are you seriously telling us that they bragged about their kidneys not working correctly?
"I've heard that..."
"Driving better when drunk. I’ve heard that ridiculous statement more times than I should."
If some people seriously believe that, then they should not be allowed to drive.
"I overheard a co-worker recently brag to a girl that he'd already had COVID three times and during his most recent bout, he went to the gym every day that he had it."
There are so, so many things wrong with that person's statement. Can you imagine? "Sure, I got COVID, but at least I didn't miss leg day!"
"I keep hearing people..."
"Not being able to cook. I keep hearing people bragging about how the only thing they can do is boil water."
If you've made it to adulthood and you don't know how to cook for yourself, there's something gravely wrong with this picture.
"Nothing surprises me..."
"Nothing surprises me more than when people are proud of their ignorance."
Knowledge is no guarantee of wisdom but prideful ignorance is proof of its absence.
"I worked with a guy..."
"I worked with a guy who, otherwise very smart, was extremely proud of the fact that he could remove the foil from the neck of a wine bottle without cutting it. He brought it up so many times I lost count. I just let him have it, though, because he seemed to need it."
Of all the things in this thread this is the most reasonable thing to be proud of.
Let's face it, it seems like a lot of people have made over-compensating a part of their personalities.
Sadly, they don't even seem to be doing that all too well, which means we'll continue to be largely unimpressed.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
Who hasn't partaken in a trend everyone was doing at one point, but which quickly became passé?
Indeed, 90's children probably have mountains of POGs which are collecting dust in their parent's attics, and their parent's probably made every effort to hide any pictures of them attempting a mullet.
But seeing the long lineage of fads, from bellbottoms to beanie babies, we can't help but wonder what current trend people will look back on with regret, if not outright disdain, in the not-so-distant future.
Redditor stoopididiotface was curious to hear what the Reddit community thinks will be passé in a matter of time, leading them to ask:
"What current trend will be the most regrettable 20 years from now?"
I update my status much less often these days...
"Posting about almost every aspect of your life on social media."
"I posted some pretty cringe sh*t as a kid that is still floating around somewhere, and that was before social media became big."
"I can't imagine what it's going to be like now."- video_2facebook update GIF by Christina LuGiphy
Parenting should be a personal choice.
"I hope mommy bloggers who post constant pics and details of their children."
"Robbing children of privacy for likes and money is sickening."
"Don’t even get me started on ones with sick kids."- nikki_therese
Everyone was watching it... back then...
"I think people are just starting to regret naming their kids Danerys and Sansa."- Wazula42game of thrones boom GIFGiphy
Felt "kute"... will regret later
"Quirky misspelling of names."- Virghia
Natural beauty is destined for a comeback
"Too much plastic surgery, fillers and Botox on young people."- factchecker8515
"Holy sh*t, there’s no way that your kids won’t be horrified by those weird eyebrows."- DelicaEyebrow Raise GIFGiphy
Here's hoping actions will one day have consequences
"Ignoring criminal acts by politicians."- Max-lower-back-Payne
Contemporary views of education
"The destruction of public education."
"Squeezing and outright sabotage of public schools, prohibitive costs for secondary education."
"The normalization of being undereducated either through apathy or because of forces outside your control."
"The idea that opinion is equal to fact and that sticking to your original viewpoint is heroic."
"'Yeah, your studies may say that, but this is how I FEEL about it'" and similar arguments."
"The reason we are no longer a minor species of omnivorous hunter-gatherers is our ability to pass along knowledge to others."
"Each generation building on the achievements of prior generations is the path to progress in health, quality of life, equality, production and so much more."
"Worse yet, technology now is at a level where if the masses are uneducated, they are also powerless."
"Small groups of people with specific knowledge have become outrageously powerful and this gap in individual power will only get worse with advances in fields like AI and robotics."
"If we allow whole generations to grow up undereducated, it will be very difficult for them to understand and affect their world."
"I feel the exponential growth of wealth gaps across the world is a symptom of this deliberate enforced ignorance."- GrymEdm
Some things we'll laugh about, other's we'll look back on in disdain and horror.
And Ironically, we'll probably be enjoying another current fad which will be outdated in another five years.
When the global pandemic hit in March of 2020, everyone hoped that after two weeks or so of social distancing, cases would begin to drop and things would quickly get back to normal.
And though life is slowly getting back to what it once was, cases of COVID-19 continue to ebb and flow.
It almost feels like everyone must have caught COVID-19 at least once by now.
But even three years in and with multiple variants, there are still a very lucky, select few who have yet to test positive for COVID-19.
Redditor jwa8808 was curious to hear how those who have yet to see two red sticks on their rapid tests have managed to avoid catching COVID-19, leading them to ask:
"For people who have never caught covid even once, what's your secret?"
Having no social life comes with its advantages.
"I'm not very social even without a pandemic."- phorq
"Have no friends, lol."Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy
Fear of big crowds... and everything else.
"Social anxiety."- mungiga123
"Extreme health anxiety."
"It sucks since its unnerving but I took every precaution in the book to not get sick."- _Lost__LightHorror Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
You tell me!
"I really have no idea."
"I've been on building sites with people taking zero precautions, worked in London for a while, delivered into hospitals during lockdown, been surrounded by people who then go on to have covid a few days later."
"Not a clue how I haven't had it yet."- sammykoejoe
Best perk of a home office!
"Working at home and having no social life or sex."- I-P-Freely4ever
Pure, dumb luck!
'Neither me or my kids have been hit."
"The secret, I have no idea besides lure luck."- Hugh-MahnSt Patricks Day Illustration GIFGiphy
I can stay perfectly entertained at home!
"Don't go out."- To_enrich_my_life_17
Dilligence...or common sense?
"Wear masks, go out when you need to, get all the covid shots you are entitled to, stay away from ill people."- kitchen_clintonThe Grand Mask GIF by The Grand HealthcareGiphy
One can't help but sympathize with those too afraid to partake in outings and activities they enjoyed prior to the pandemic.
But hopefully the fact that they've avoided catching an illness which has taken the lives of over six million people worldwide is the comfort they need to feel good about their decisions.