
It's actually really ridiculously expensive to be poor - an unfortunate truth that a lot of people are learning firsthand this year. There are even some among us who are too poor to be able to afford to work.
We know, it sounds like a complete contradiction; but it's a reality for a shockingly large number of people.
One Reddit user asked:
What's your example of "it's expensive to be poor"?
and yeah ... poverty is complicated.
Fees On Fees On Fees
Overdraft fees. Oh, you ran out of money? We'll just charge you more then!
- VonSnapp
My bank just switched our free checking to an account with a monthly fee. $7.00 a month if your account goes under $10. So if it goes under $10 they basically just help themselves to your remaining balance? It really chaps my behind.
While charging overdraft fees they also want to charge you fees for your debit payments failing - each one. But they failed cause the bank processed them started with the biggest payment instead of the order you spent and each fee lowers your balance till the last one also fails.
- MyPacman
NSF fees too. Juggling bills becomes hazardous. If you guess wrong, or lose track, or have a sudden emergency, or someone cashes a check you thought they'd already done, or an automatic withdrawal (which got me the most frequently). The payment gets refused, which, sure, if the money's not there of course the bill isn't paid. But then the company charges you an NSF fee, and so does the bank, and the bill you already weren't able to pay just got 50-100$ more expensive.
The Differences
In the past 10 years, I've gone from borderline poverty to being upper middle class. Here are some of the differences:
- An overdraft/late fee could be as much as 10% of my savings account. Now it's a drop in a bucket, and having white collar job, means I know how to effectively negotiate to have fees waived.
- When you're broke you can only afford cheap products that break easily, Now I buy quality products that are built to last for years.
- Expensive dinners are completely out of the question when you're broke. Now I frequently eat great (And healthy!) meals because my job pays for lunches and dinners.
- When I was broke I had to purchase expensive equipment to learn my craft so that I could get a job. Now I my job pays me to use my equipment.
- Broke people have to pay for an expensive education to get a good job. Many people with good jobs are encouraged to take classes at the expense of the employer.
- People with good paying jobs can be 10 minutes late for work without fear that they will lose their job. If I have a good excuse, like my car breaks down, I can literally not show up for work for the day, get paid, and receive a heartfelt message from colleges offering support.
- Things like expensive booze and other luxury items are something you want when you are poor. When you work a high paying job, these sort of things are frequently gifted to you from bosses/co-workers and sometimes it becomes a hassle of trying to get rid of nice things you don't need (I end up giving away, re-gifting or donating a lot of stuff).
- When you are broke, it's hard to find a good paying job. When you have a good paying job, you are seen as a valuable and you will receive multiple job offers.
A few things that are new to me that I find weird about having money:
- Expensive clothes fall apart so fast, like the fabric will start to dull after a 3rd wash. I had an Old Navy shirt that easily lasted 20 years and never faded.
- Expensive things take up so much time and can be such a hassle to care for. Like fountain pens, nice wooden kitchen utensils, Linen place settings, etc.
- -CoreyJ-
Shoes
Shoes.
Better shoes last longer before they need to be replaced. But they cost to much for me to afford them, leaving me with sub-par shoes that need to be replaced more often.
It's not easy staying healthy on a tiny budget. I stay fat. Shoes wear out. It's expensive for my body.
- [Reddit]
Definitely true irl. I wear duty boots every shift I work. When I was new I couldn't afford anything other than a cheap pair of $80 boots. My feet froze in the winter, sweated in the summer, and they weren't really waterproof. That first pair lasted me about 10 months, and that was a stretch.
I managed to scrimp and save for a $300 pair of Danners and that pair lasted me nearly a decade, kept my feet warm in the winter, didn't make them sweat much in the summer, and kept my feet dry in standing water up to about 6" deep. When they wore out, I sent them back to Danner to be refurbished about about $120 and have gotten another 7 years and counting out of them.
- Obwyn
Rent
Housing. The longer you commit to stay, the lower your monthly price. But poor people don't always know where they'll be in a few months time, especially these days.
Oh man, got a really good look at that recently. Me and my fiancee wanted to move to a new house, and we didn't know how long it would take to sell the old one and find one we liked, so we rented an apartment in the meantime.
They had really flexible leases, with durations from 6-15 months, different prices for the same apartment.
We calculated the cost of breaking the lease at different times together with the cost of each lease, and found that even if we moved at exactly 6 months, it would be cheaper to sign a 15 month lease and pay the penalty than to sign a 6 month lease.
Moving at pretty much any point would be cheapest to sign the 15 month lease and break it (I think at 10 months, it would be very slightly cheaper to have signed a 10 month lease). Funnily enough, we ended up moving after 6 months, but we still made the cheaper choice with the 15 month lease.
- ka36
The Breakdown
Not being able to afford routine car maintenance and then having to shell out thousands when it breaks down
Nothing like having to push your car off an intersection because it suddenly died and won't restart, never mind if you were on your way to school, work or similar. It's a great way to lose your job.
- MyPacman
This. THIS! THIS THIS THIS. And having a flat tire every other week because you can't afford new ones. Spending ten bucks a pop to have your old tires patched when a new one (for your cheap little clunker car) costs $85 but you can't afford that because you've spent ten bucks a week for the last six months getting patches.
Laundry
Coin laundry :(
- camriver
I'm feeling this one.
My washing machine went kerplooey two weeks ago. I finally broke down and went to the only laundromat in my rural county.
$4.25 to wash each load, $1.75 to dry each load. I spent twenty bucks doing three loads of laundry.
That's $480 a year to load up my stuff and take it to a communal laundromat, during a pandemic. Holy f*ck I miss my washing machine.
Or to put it another way, and really drive home the "expensive to be poor" aspect, in a year you'll have spent enough money to buy a brand new washing machine, without getting the washing machine.
And that's not counting the time spent there. At home you can multitask while the laundry's going.
Can't Afford Health
So I'm in the US and it's "Open Enrollment" I've been looking at health insurance plans for a few weeks now. Here's my best option, as a 36-year-old single white woman with no health problems.
$235 per month (discount because I'm low-income) premium. $85 co-pay for normal doctor's visit. $145 if the doctor treats something in-office. I pay any in-office supplies that were used out of pocket. $13,000 deductible. Insurance pays 40% of hospital visits and overnight stays. Separate $7000 deductible for prescriptions. Zero dental or vision care.
Guys, I make between $800 and $900 per month. That's a quarter of my income as a premium alone. Which would be great, except if I pay the premium, I don't have any money left over for the co-pay, so I literally can't afford to both buy the policy and use it.
When I absolutely have to see a doctor I drive a couple hours to a clinic that offers huge discounts for people who self-pay. They are actually a god-send for things like sinus infections and strep throat. I had pneumonia a couple of years ago and not only did they give me the "self pay discount," making my office visit just $35, but they also found "office samples" of an albuterol inhaler and steroids, meaning all I had to buy was an antibiotic from the walmart $4 list.
I also drive an hour and a half to a Planned Parenthood clinic for my annual exam and things like that. They charge on a "pay what you can" scale. I figure out how to get by, mostly. But if anything big ever goes wrong or I develop a chronic health problem in the future, I'm gonna be so screwed it's not even funny.
I really need an eye exam as my glasses are giving me headaches, which means my prescription has changed again. And forget getting my teeth fixed, which is actually my biggest problem right now. There's no help for things like that. The healthcare situation just sucks.
Freebies For The Rich?
An inverse example is all the things rich/well-paid people get for free:
paid vacation days, gym/pool in your building, company cell phone allowance, commute reimbursement, retirement match and investing advice, paid lunches and travel, education opportunities, ability to participate in investment opportunities, references to even more highly paid jobs, etc etc.
It is definitely frustrating when I hear about rich celebrities getting giftbags with tens of thousands of dollars worth of merchandise in them. That is just silly.
Food
Food.
Everyone always argues "it's cheaper to eat healthy! Buy X, Y, Z in bulk, check A, B, and C specialty grocery stores, meal prep and freeze for the week, grow your own produce!" But these sorts of solutions really require a base level of wealth to begin with. Not a ton of wealth. If you're lower-middle class but still ending up in the red because you eat out too much, you can probably (probably) use these tips to cut your food budget enough to make a difference. But to do these things you need:
to live in a place with easy access to many different places to buy food (conventional groceries, discount groceries, big box stores, farmers markets, ethnic groceries, and bulk retailers)
When you live in a food desert, like many inner cities and rural areas, pick-and-choose grocery shopping is not an option. When you don't have a car or live a very short distance from the store, buying more than an armful of groceries is not an option. When you work multiple jobs to pay rent, spending many hours per week on shipping or food prep isn't an option. When you live in an efficiency apartment, complex cooking and infinite food storage isn't an option. When you don't have a surplus of money this very minute, buying in bulk isn't an option. When you live in an apartment, or a desert, or an urban house with a concrete backyard, or a place that is a snowy tundra 6 months out of the year, growing a garden isn't an option.
Plus, everyone gives this advice assuming a single adult or a two-adult, no kids household. But not everyone eating dollar menu and ramen noodles is a broke single college kid in a dorm blowing their allowance on beer then crying poverty. Children complicate all of this even further. So people end up buying dollar menu because it's Tuesday, payday is Friday, and they quite literally have $10 to their names to feed themselves and their kids. They could buy apples, but apples won't keep the the hunger pains away.
Wholesale
I used to think that Costco was good for bulk sales
My son founded a food charity and we started applying for business licenses. Guy mentioned a wholesaler to me.
My son and I went to the wholesaler and he had 200lb pallets of pork shoulder for pulled pork- which my son needs- for $140! 200 lbs of food, which my son uses to feed like 500 homeless people- for $140.
Or like 1000 chicken legs in cases for $0.29 per lb. something like $80 for 1000 chicken legs.
Can you imagine if you were dead broke and spent $80 on 1000 chicken legs- you could eat for 6 months. Working with real food wholesalers is so much crazier than anything I expected.
It's the set up for all of that - the ability to move pallets, have a huge deep freezer that all has to be there first. You're not going to have that if you're poor.
I remember there were these cabbages, like $20 for 40 cabbages. A guy was buying like 80 cabbages to make cole slaw for his restaurant. He could spin that into profit and make money.
I just felt like buying them and giving them to poor families. People have no idea how much more they're really paying than what food actually costs.
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There's a reason people are prompted to say "Too Much Information" or 'TMI" in modern slang.
Most commonly, people are urged to say so when they've learned a piece of information that they think they would have been better off not knowing.
Information which caused a visceral reaction of one sort or another, be it disgust, sadness, anger or heartbreak.
Making them feel all the worse is knowing what they learned isn't an opinion, but the cold, hard truth.
Redditor airuarak123 was curious to learn what pieces of information people firmly believe they were better off not knowing, leading them to ask:
"What's a fact you wish you didn't know?"
Gone And Forgotten
"In most cases it only takes three generations to be completely forgotten."- Fred_the_skeleton
Stuck In Your Own Body
"Locked in syndrome is terrifying."
"You are alive and conscious but have no way to communicate that or stop it."- Lilliputian0513
Flight Of The Living Dead
"I read this book called Fever about doctors treating Lassa Fever victims in Africa."
"There was a pilot who would fly dead victims to a city morgue for autopsies."
"The bodies were on a gurney in the back if a small plane."
"Sometimes the change in air pressure would cause air to expel from the lungs over the vocal chords, which would create sounds like moaning."
"And more than once the air pressure caused the corpse’s stomach muscles to contract and it sat up."- Positive-Source8205
No Dare Is Worth It!
"The story of a Sam Ballard whose friend dared him to eat a slug."
"He ate it."
"Death came quickly AFTER THE 420 DAY COMA."- astoneworthskipping
Good for them
"Apparently farmers get the most sex out of any profession."- Outrageous_Package_8
Evil Is Real
"I seriously wish I hadn't seen all those Mexican Cartel videos."
"The level of creativity and evil is almost unfathomable."- watch_over_me
You Thought It Was Bad...
"The challenger astronauts didn't die until they hit the ocean."- Cravatitude
Neglect And Abuse Has Lasting Effects
"Childhood trauma and neglect leads to permanent structural changes to the brain that effect the way you perceive and interact with the world."- Doingmybest2019
They Know More Than Let On
"30% of people that report missing people end up kidnapping/murdering them."- Kewleila
As they say, the truth hurts.
And when we can go through our lives without needing to know certain things, then ignorance is, indeed, bliss.
Because honestly, who feels their life improved after learning the truth about Santa Clause?
Doctors Describe Their Craziest 'I Don't Think This Is Important, But' Patient Experiences
Some of us dread going to the doctor's office, but keeping up with your checkups is important. You wouldn't want to have a sudden health emergency would you? (Keeping up with appointments is kind of difficult to do in a nation where so many people are uninsured, but that's a topic for another article...)
Ask a doctor, ask any doctor, and they're bound to have a story about a patient who came in for a routine checkup, not thinking that their symptoms were in any way important.
We heard some of these stories after Redditor Cuteregister1827 asked the online community,
"Doctors of Reddit, what was your worst, 'I don't think this is important, but—' patient?"
"Intercepted a young woman..."
"Intercepted a young woman who was just hit by a car. Her boyfriend was standing with her freaking out. I do a basic physical exam and get a history, and make her comfortable as we wait for the ambulance to arrive."
"Once the ambulance arrives they ask for the same information, except this time the boyfriend mentions he was the one who was actually hit by the car and was shielding his girlfriend's body. The entire car's windshield was cracked by the impact of his back. He was just freaking out and worried about her, and was in shock and hadn't begun to feel any pain yet."
[deleted]
Wow, imagine seeing that first-hand. Ouch!
"We continued talking..."
"Had a patient come into the ER with some sort of spider/bug bite on her hand that had progressed to a red line running up her arm. She stated she put Benadryl cream on and it was very itchy."
"We continued talking and I asked if she had any allergies…”yes, Benadryl.” I thought good lord wtf and I’m sure it was reflected on my face."
"We washed the Benadryl cream off her arm and miraculously it stopped itching."
sweetlyserious
So this is the person that makes it necessary for medication commercials to say "do not take this medication if you are allergic to this medication."
"I didn't."
"I had a headache, and a few hours later noticed that my irises were different sizes. I went reluctantly to the emergency room. Minutes after presenting myself I had neurologists looking at me and I was rushed to get scanned. The artery about an inch and a half below my brain had torn. The doctors were basically just waiting for me to have a stroke."
"I didn’t. Somehow."
kungfusyme
Wow!
You are the definition of lucky, truly.
"Was told by their pediatrician..."
"Emergency radiologist here. I see plenty of people presenting with understated symptoms that turn out to be mind blowing advanced disease. The saddest one was probably the 4 year old boy who presented with a rigid abdomen for a few months."
"Was told by their pediatrician it was constipation months ago but his parents never followed up when it didn't resolve. When I imaged his abdomen I found his entire liver was replaced with a mass consistent with hepatoblastoma."
"I asked the parents why they waited so long to work it up. They said they were satisfied with the diagnosis of constipation. That one left a mark on my soul."
abandonedsquirrel
They weren't concerned that he was constipated for months?! This is so sad.
"Went in for a recurring pain..."
"I'm the patient. Went in for a recurring pain in my throat. Quadruple bypass a week later."
Fatoldguy
And here you are! Glad to see you're still with us.
"I went to examine him..."
"Doctor here."
"I had one a few months ago sent into the hospital by his primary care doctor with 'shoulder pain'. He said he felt absolutely fine, just a really uncomfortable right shoulder pain that hadn't gone away for a couple of weeks. He maybe felt a bit more tired than usual and oh, come to think of it, had lost quite a bit of weight recently and none of his clothes fit him any more."
"I went to examine him and had what we describe in the profession as a "heartsink" moment. He was jaundiced, and his abdomen was absolutely solid in the right upper zone from a huge, craggy liver."
"Get him in the CT scanner and he is just fulllll of cancer. Everywhere. Couldn't even work out which was the primary."
"The shoulder pain is what we call "referred pain" and is commonly caused by diaphragmatic irritation, in this case from all the liver masses pushing against it."
"Bless him. I think about him a lot."
cmwilson95
Wow! This is simultaneously a relief but also oh so scary, for both the doctor and the especially the patient.
"Everyone at my company..."
"Everyone at my company knows the story of the patient who came in for genetic counseling, went through their whole family history with the counselor, and then concluded with, "Oh yeah, I was adopted as a baby and don't know who my birth parents are, does that matter?""
ThadisJones
"14-year-old cancer survivor..."
"14-year-old cancer survivor comes in for his routine post-chemo screening echocardiogram. His heart was barely moving. I don't remember the EF, probably in the low teens. We sat him and mom told for some bad news, put EMLA on his arm for a PICC and walked him to the cardiac ICU."
"A few months later he has a heart transplant. Kids, man. They can look great on the outside when compensated. Then you look at the images and just get nauseous for them. Scariest thing about pediatrics and #1 reason why kids need kid doctors."
msbossypants
Always good to stress this. Heartbreaking otherwise.
"Man came in A&E for some laceration wounds after a fall, noticed he had a putrid nasty dead toe. On further questioning, he admitted that the toe had been like this for some time, but it didn't worry him because it didn't hurt. He was admited for an amputation and possibly sepsis."
Let's be clear: That is terrifying and some people have an insane pain tolerance.
"I was an internal medicine resident..."
"I was an internal medicine resident who had a patient come to my clinic for “persistent flu.""
"I had never seen her before, and she was a healthy appearing woman in her 60s. About a month before seeing me, she was seen by her PCP with persistent coughing, and otherwise had no shortness of breath or other infectious symptoms. Just a dry cough."
"She got tested for flu and was negative, but got tamiflu just incase it was a false negative. She had a chest X-ray which was normal. She came to me a month later because her cough persisted despite completing her therapy."
"Everything sounded great. Heart, lungs, everything. To be honest I don’t usually do this, but something in my gut told me to feel for lymph nodes. I felt around and found something above her left clavicle. It was hard, round, and she was completely unaware of it."
"I told her it was probably a reactive lymph node, but just in case, I wanted to get an ultrasound. This cascaded into her getting a biopsy, which showed squamous cell lung cancer. A CT scan showed stage IV lung cancer, not seen on her chest X-ray. All diagnosed because of a lymph node that almost by chance I was lucky enough to find by being thorough."
"I checked her chart about a year ago, and she was doing well. She got therapy and was in remission after a very long road and many obstacles. I’ll never forget her or her case."
STEM190
That's seriously impressive. Sometimes it's just that extra bit of effort that pays off.
You never know when what feels like a routine doctor's visit can turn into a sudden health scare! Be honest with your doctor. You'll thank yourself later.
Have stories of your own to share? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below.
Many people in the workforce have complained about being tired and overworked in their jobs.
Because there is no other alternative to getting that weekly paycheck, workers in many industries endure the stresses of the job.
But what if the companies these exhausted employees work for could hypothetically alleviate their work-related stresses and anxiety by reducing their work hours?
Could you be on board?
Curious to hear what strangers online would think about modifications to their work schedule, Redditor LanaDelCoochie asked:
"Do you believe in the 4 day work week? Why or why not?"
People mentioned how poor time management was more problematic.
Marking Time
"Some jobs are literally waiting for something to happen."
– Leeiteee
Working Efficiently
"I don’t mind working if I’m busy, but sitting somewhere staring at a clock waiting for the time when I’m ‘allowed’ to leave drives me crazy. If there’s nothing for me to do, let me go home. You’re just wasting my time and your money."
– uglyuglydog
Slow Shift
"I'm food service, my first store was so slow I only needed 2 people in the afternoon. I intentionally worked 11-2 then 5-11 just so I didn't have to twiddle my thumbs and clean already clean things for 3 hours each day."
– BlueNinjaTiger
Stress Of Killing Time
"My current job (the contract for which expires next Friday, but is up for negotiation tomorrow) is 15-20h WFH at my convenience. I wake up at 3am, log in, and work until everyone else in my house gets up- usually, 7. If I need to add some hours, I log in again while my toddler is at preschool."
"A few years ago, when I worked for this same company, I was tied to a desk in a poorly-renovated school building and very frequently had nothing to do. I cannot tell you how many books I read during my days at my desk in the summer with nothing to do. I browsed Reddit a fair amount, sure, but it was easier to leave a Kindle window open just a sliver next to an Excel spreadsheet to look busy. I re-read a few of my favorites; I read many new things."
"But it was so maddeningly frustrating to be stuck inside at work with literally nothing to do, waiting for anything to come to my inbox!!"
– WomanOfEld
People discuss the pros and cons of working remotely.
Benefits Of Working From Home
'If there’s nothing for me to do, let me go home.'
"Which is one of the reasons I've liked working from home since Covid started. If things are slow and I don't have anything to do, I can relax for a bit and wait for stuff to pick up."
– Surax
Being Productive While At Home
"100%. I'm newish at my current job, so I try to be in the office as much as I can. But if it's a slow week and I already foresee my Thursday/Friday being slow- I'm staying home. I'm still doing what I have to do, but I can simultaneously do other things like read or watch something without feeling guilty, do some laundry, hang with my dog, etc. After my first full year I will most likely be normalizing this to be my Friday each week at the very least."
"On the other side of the spectrum, my last job was fully remote and I was a little too bored and also didn't push to do anything beyond my basic responsibilities, so that was very unhealthy. It's good to be at least moderately productive and accept a new challenge every now and again. I basically did nothing for 2 straight years."
– daveblu92
It's A Preference
"I totally get why people love it, but I am so unproductive at home it‘s crazy. Tried nearly every trick in the book, but when it comes down to it just going to somewhere else for work does the trick for me."
"I think working from home is a nice tool, but it certainly isn‘t a solution for everyone. And even working from home a 4 day week makes a big difference."
– Ulldra
Not For Everybody
"For me, I am discovering the reason for my unproductivity is lack of interest in the work. Like, if I go into the office then I feel I have to make it worth it by getting the work done. If I am working from home though... I feel so unproductive because I just don't care. Like I could get the work done easier while nobody is interrupting but instead I interrupt myself."
"I've got one more week in the current job then I start a new one where I actually feel interested in what I will be doing there. Who knows how long that will last for but it just feels more like something I'd like to think about than twiddling my thumbs."
"Not the case for everybody but something to consider."
– Libriomancer
The limited work schedule seemed to please a good majority of people.
The Popular Opinion
"You might be surprised. I work with a lot of folks who still do the five-day work week, but all of them have been incredibly respectful and accommodating of our 4-day week. They ask me to schedule a meeting or call on a Friday, I reply with 'I don't work on Fridays, what other options work for you?' and they invariably give me other options without batting an eye. And frequently say 'I wish we were on a 4-day week, too.'"
– Mehitabel9
The Thing About Fridays
"It’s because even people who 'work on friday' don’t really work on Friday. Especially if your office has a WFH policy, 90% of the company will be from home on a Friday. And 95% of that group is signing off at 1pm, and breezing through their morning/just shaking their mouse. Just watch peoples skype statuses on Fridays lol."
"And even before Covid when I had to go into the office on Friday, it was well recognized that Fridays were for chilling. You don’t schedule a 3pm friday meeting."
– Count_Rostov_
Worker Burnout
"Yes worker burn out is real."
"So much work in offices is just created to fill time, make things more efficient, pay people the same, get the same amount done with happier workers."
– lemons_of_doubt
Opinions varied across the board since different jobs come with specific demands.
But the overall complaint had to do with the mismanaging of time, with many arguing if there was no further work to be done at an office, employees should be sent home.
Conversely, even a handful of those who worked remotely had the itch to be in a less distracting environment.
Personally, I'd rather be working from home than inside a cubicle at a job location–even though the latter may be more conducive to work efficiency.
What are your thoughts?
People Confess How They Dodged A Bullet With 'The One That Got Away'
Unrequited love is tough to get over.
There's nothing worse than having your heart set on a crush who gives you butterflies, but they just don't feel the same way and would rather be with other people.
And while it's hard to accept the fact that "it's not meant to be," the reality of a person not being right for you can manifest in a way that can provide a huge sense of relief.
Curious to hear examples of exploring this notion Redditor LinksOtherUncle asked:
"What’s your story about 'the one that got away' that turned out being a gigantic bullet dodged?"
These Redditors had no idea their romantic interest would wind up in trouble with the law.
She Did Jail Time
"She tried to stab the next guy she wound up with and did a little jail time. Came out an addict and proceeded to destroy herself."
"On a positive note, she’s good now, but if I see her coming down the street, I’m crossing the damn street."
– Jimi204
Leaving For An Ex Con
"Was incredibly close to a gorgeous girl in my friend group. We’d dance at raves together, make out drunk, and talk on the phone for hours most nights. Whenever I'd ask her out on a date she’d say 'I don’t think I’m ready for a boyfriend yet but I like what we have.'"
"We’ll eventually she starts dating an ex con. They start doing drugs together. She runs a few thousand dollars on her dads credit card and gets kicked out of her house. She moves in with her now bf and a friend, then one day her bf trashes the place in a rage so they get kicked to the streets. A few years go by and she’s been arrested a few dozen times and serves a three year prison sentence."
– dirtybrownwt
Killer Relationship
"I was dating a guy a few months ago that was the sweetest person ever. 10/10 in every single way. He just got arrested for murdering two people."
– Nice_Rise6702
Had these Redditors pursued their relationships, it literally would've been the death of them.
Filled With Rage
"I've told this story before in another post. Anyway, I was engaged to this guy who was apparently engaged to this other girl too. I dumped him of course and they got married. He strangled her to death."
– sarcastic_monkies
These might sound like plot lines in a convoluted rom-com but with no happy ending.
The Saga
"My very first girlfriend whom I truly 'loved' at the ripe age of 17, dating for about 7 months. We had plans to move interstate together, she moved first to secure the accommodation, I was to follow a week later once I’d finished working. Two days in she told me not to bother because she’s met someone. I was devastated for a whole year afterwards."
"She ended up marrying the guy and moved in with him and his best friend. Lived together happily for a few years, no issues with the marriage whatsoever."
"One summer, ex-girlfriend, hubby and housemate all decided to go on a 3 week road trip together. Partway through, hubby gets called back to work and has to fly home. Ex and housemate finish the trip and return home."
"Upon returning, ex and housemate announced they had discovered their undying love for each other on the trip, and would henceforth be an item. Hubby, understandably crushed."
"Here’s the kicker, not only did the three of them live together, so hubby had to listen to them sleeping together every night, but hubby and housemate worked together in the same company, in the same cubicle, directly opposite each other."
"Edit: I discovered this when I took a job at that same company, and heard the tale around the office."
"Ex and housemate have since had a child, and I’m eagerly awaiting the next chapter in the saga."
– PM_ME_LADY_SHOULDERS
Closet Romance
"Not exactly the same, but two friends through high-school got married a couple years after we graduated. Night before the wedding (for some reason) we had both the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties (because why not be hungover on your wedding day?)"
"Bachelor party decides to crash the Bachelorette party at the strip club we were at, where I bought the bride a private lap dance in the back. Husband to be decides he doesn't like seeing us at a strip club, queue huge parking lot fight where the owner is threatening to call the cops if we don't leave the premises. Screaming, yelling, throwing things."
"Anyway, we get back to the house and go to bed - a few of the wedding party were staying at the house that night."
"I get called into the office, where bride to be and our friend is naked making out with each other. They confessed their love for one another and wanted to be together before she got married."
"I'm in the living room, Husband to be comes out asking where bride is. I answered loudly enough for them to hear. He goes and opens the office door and shouting commences."
"She was scrambling to put clothes on and he was hiding in the closet naked."
"A few hours later, we're all awkwardly standing as they get married on the beach."
"They were divorced shortly after."
"THEN"
"Fast forward several years. A friend puts on a 'friend reunion', because nobody had set up a proper high school one. She is remarried and has a few children at this point. All is going well at the party, and I go to find the restroom. I open a closet door on accident and there she is, making out with the original friends brother. I just closed the door and continued to find the bathroom."
– PM_ME_OCCULT_STUFF
Look, it's hard to accept the fact that the person you love doesn't feel the same way.
But when they reveal their true colors–or murderous streak–in their next relationships, it makes getting over them that much easier.
This is also a good reminder that we shouldn't be blinded by love. Because you might miss seeing red flags.