When money, equipment, or expertise is lacking, it becomes necessary for repairs to be improvised. Often, creative solutions are dopey in nature.
But the rag tag and the slipshod are not to be cast aside on principle. When a quick fix seems to last forever, everyone can pipe down with their judgments, thank you very much.
Duct tape, WD40, scrap metal, and every household object within reach are all ammo for the unprofessional pro tip.
Apparently, a lot of Redditors are out there driving cars, operating computers, offering home remedies with what, more or less, amounts to a piece of cardboard jammed into a little slot so the thing keeps kicking, so to speak.
A Cylinder's a Cylinder, Eh?
"My dad fixing my car muffler with a soda can. I forgot about it until just now and I sold that car 5 years ago."
"I honestly have no idea, he's a welder and he's known for fixing everything with duct tape-for real, for years our pants were hemmed with duct tape. Whatever he did, it ran for years without a problem before I sold it."
Like Slamming the Radio When it Gets Choppy
"They just sent an order for a rover on Mars to hit itself with a shovel. It worked. Percussive maintenance." -- Backbeatking
"Just did that with a lawn mower yesterday. Ripped it, kicked it, called it a motherf*cker. I cackled like the Joker when it choked to life." -- IncessantlyFlummoxed
Rock Em Sock Em Reboot
"Many moons ago we had a server that needed to be rebooted manually because the OS was really f***ed. At 20:00 daily. So our option was to be there daily at 20:00 or figure something out."
"We set up a toy of a fighting clown with a metal bar attached to its fist to trigger daily at 20:00. It was triggered with an integrated circuit with a timer. At 20:00 the toy was powered on, launching its fist with the attached bar against the server's power on/power off button. First punch powered it off. At 20:10 it was triggered again, powering on the server."
The One Cent Conduit
"As college student had a sh*tty car. Wouldn't crank and found the copper tab from the solenoid to the starter had broke, leaving a gap. Thought 'copper.....pennies is copper,' so jammed a penny in the gap and it started right up."
"For months I kept a cup holder full of pennies so I could crank the car."
A Problematic Anecdote for the AMA
"I struggled for years with anemia no one could find the cause for. Kept getting really sick, and every iron supplement caused severe side effects (extreme constipation and GI bleeds)."
"After YEARS of trying to figure it out, the best solution was to take two children's Flintstones with Iron. Works perfectly."
"After so many attempts at medical intervention about it, it turns out the thing that fixed it was a couple cheap kids vitamins that can be found at any drugstore."
It's All Optics
"In the Florida Keys, they have old cop cars on the side of the road to prevent speeding. Most of them don't have cops inside them, or engines for that matter. One of them actually had a mannequin dressed as a cop inside."
Everywhere is a Good Place for Beer
"My roommates and I owned one or two bottle openers and could never find them to open beer bottles, so next time we were at the liquor store we bought about 30 of them for 10c each and literally just threw them all over the apartment. That way if you were looking for one, there was always one right next to you."
"It actually worked out so f*cking perfectly I can't even describe it in words to make you understand and to this day even thinking about it relieves me of stress."
"There is something about being handed a beer and knowing there is a bottle opener within 2 feet of you no matter where you are in the apartment that is calming on a deep emotional level."
Well That Was...Suddenly Intense
"If someone has the hiccups have them look right into your eyes. Repeatedly tell them to not look away from you and to tell you right before they are going to hiccup. Keep telling them that they must tell you the instant before they are about to hiccup."
"Usually within a minute the hiccups are gone and they are forever I'm your debt."
A Tool, Re-purposed
"Eating Cheetos/Takis with chopsticks to avoid Cheeto fingers." -- comika99
"But licking the cheese off at the end is like a free bonus round!" -- IrieJimbo
"I just pour from the bag into my mouth." -- sv4ta
Who Needs Tines
"Instead of eating spaghetti with a fork and spoon, I use a fork and scissors. Much quicker to just cut off the hanging spaghetti than twirl it up." -- BertFromGrindr
"Until you get to the end and there's nothing but short little bits you can't pick up with a fork. It's completely inefficient unless speed is the only metric important here." -- ATLL2112
"That's when you switch to the push n' smush technique!" -- TimeToRock
That Coffee Shop Feel...
"We kept losing our stupid little Apple TV remote in the cushions of our living room furniture so I took a small rubber spatula and duct taped it to the remote."
"Haven't lost it since."
The Gesture is Everything
"Fake security cameras for a fraction of the cost of real security cameras but with a huge decrease in theft or vandalism." -- moeggz
"Once this becomes too common, you need to step up your game. It would be unfeasible, unless... unless you could somehow get a person to wear a uniform and sit in an enclosed office, just visible to entrants, and stare at computer monitors all day with a look of concentration. I wonder how you could make that happen..." -- theAlpacalives
But is Milk in the Eye Ball Much of a Step Up??
"One time my dad was cutting jalapenos and his hands were burning afterwards, so I told him to rub milk on his hands because 'if it works on your tongue spicy it works on your hands spicy.' It did."
Would Definitely Have Just Spit it Out
"One time at a nightclub in Canada they people there were really loud so the bouncers decided to hand out free lollipops in hopes that they wouldn't want them to fall out so they wouldn't yell or anything." -- ThatTallAsainKid
Kill 'Em With
"When I was a kid on my elementary school basketball team, we had a play called 'Zero.' It was essentially everyone running in a circle within the 3-point line until the other team got so confused that we scored a basket."
The Phoenix of Natural Selection
"Eucalyptus trees are highly flammable so that they can catch fire, die and kill all opposing plants. But, their children grow back faster than the competitions, promoting their survival."
"When I was in high school I ran for student government. There were a number of really good candidates (way better than me) and I was polling pretty low."
"So I decided to take a page from the dictators handbook, donned a Soviet uniform, and during my final speech before the voting was to begin, promised to be a strong authoritarian dictator who would get dividers for the boys bathroom and then run the school into the ground."
"I was voted into office with 96% of the vote and a cheer went up all over the floor I was on when they announced it on the PA. I quit during the second term after accomplishing nothing."