We should all be nice to each other—is the BS we get fed all our lives.
But let's get real.
Some people are jerks and being nice to them is both a waste of time and stress inducing, but mom said to be polite.
So what to do?
How about a profanity free bon mot to let them know how you really feel?
Redditor Crystalgamer04 asked:
"What is your best insult, WITHOUT using curse words?"
"I bet your parents change the subject when people ask about you."
"Your mom tells you not to call her mom in public."
Battle of Wits
"Intelligent thoughts have always followed you, but you were faster."
"You've got a face for radio, the voice for newspaper, and the brains for neither."
"You seem like the sort of person who knows which color of crayon tastes the best."
On The Job
"Me: 'Have I told you lately that you're doing a good job?'"
"Me: 'Do you think there might be a reason for that?'"
"There really are no gaps in your ignorance."
"I envy the people who have never met you."
"I didn't expect anything from you and you still disappointed."
"'I wish we were better strangers'. - Shakespeare"
So, what's your go to smackdown?
Share it in the comments.
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Have you ever walked into your fashion clothing store and found that the favorite shirt you had your eye on was finally on sale only to discover at the checkout counter that the wrong price tag was on it?
Yeah, not fun.
But you knew in your gut the slashed pricing was too good to be true.
Variations of this example are all too common, and to hear of more examples, Redditor No-Boysenberry-9396 asked strangers online:
"What is something you thought was 'too good to be true' until you realized what it really was?"
Few people get paid doing what they truly love.
But even these Redditors begged to differ.
Tedious Dream Jobs
"Dream jobs are still tedious af. Loved learning to code, then spent every day making forms for websites. I love furniture making, days of sanding and finishing after you’ve done the fun part. I’m an architect, construction details, HOA requirements, liability, half the job is to have a drawing to point to if a contractor f'ks up so you don’t get sued."
More Dogs, Please
"Professional illustrator, every client wants cars and buildings in the drawings. Not nearly enough dogs in these scripts!"
These Redditors were optimistic after being presented with amazing prospects.
Free Wardrobe Scam
"As a teen I was visiting London and I took some time to wander around Kensington while my parents were doing some shopping nearby. All of a sudden, this big car pulls up beside me and opens its rear door."
"A guy comes out and compliments me on my fashion sense. A t-shirt from a church-league baseball team, baggy jeans and an akubra. I was a bit confused because even I knew my fashion sense was sh*t."
"He tells me that he is a fashion designer on his way back from Harrod's with his designer friends and they were on their way to the airport. They realized that their designer clothes that had been on display were going to be way over the baggage allowance for their flight and they had decided to give them away to some random passers-by just for fun."
"I thought that was nice of them. They asked me what I wanted, so I asked if they had any nice jackets in my style. They started bringing out these clothes and showing me. It was fun and exciting. For a few minutes."
"Then one of them said that he'd forgotten to pick up the cash for the car they had hired to take them to the airport. The lead guy said that he was sure that I would be willing to pay for the clothes, since they were such a discount on designer, brand name clothes."
"I was confused and told him that I thought they were free. I didn't have any money. Then they started asking what my daily withdrawal limit was. I told them I was a tourist and my card didn't even work in British ATMs, my parents paid for everything."
"Suddenly, they threw everything back into the car, jumped in and peeled off. I was pretty naïve at the time and didn't parse what had happened until later."
Promise Of Endless Brewski
"All the beer I could drink to use my truck to help someone move. 'we have plenty of help in loading and unloading'"
"had to help load and unload."
"I moved to a new city for a job. The area had a pretty high cost of living but I ended up finding a very affordable room for rent in someone's house. When I went to see it, it was a very nice, well maintained house and the owner was very friendly. I kept thinking 'let me guess, the other tenant is a serial killer or something?'"
"Well, he wasn't a serial killer but he was a 40 year old, unemployed alcoholic who, in the 45 minutes I was in the house, threw a massive temper tantrum because the landlord/homeowner had accidentally forgotten to clean out the lint trap after doing laundry. I'm talking foot stomping, nasally whining like a little kid who was denied dessert. That was when I realized why the rent was so cheap. Told the guy I'd think about it and never contacted him again. It was worth paying more to live with actual adults and not an entitled manchild."
Red Flag Option
"Two years ago when I was on Covid furlough from my day job, I was looking around for other options just in case my job ended."
"First interview offer I got, I should have been tuned into the various red flags. But I had nothing else going on so I showed up."
"Turned out to be a cattle call for one of the more insidious MLM companies."
Some people found true love. Others, however, didn't luck out as much.
"My boyfriend. He was too nice, too kind, did too much for me. He asked me about my day and actually wanted to hear everything I wanted to say. He asked where I wanted to eat and actually wanted to go to the place I wanted, instead of wanting me to say the place he wanted. He wanted to give me a bubble bath and a massage without expecting anyting in return. He wanted to give me an orgasm even if it took an hour."
"Seemed really sus until I realized.... that I was in the first healthy relationship with a genuinely good person I've ever been in."
"Mine started similar and i couldn't believe that i finally met a nice guy who truly cared for me but turns out he was a narcissist who destroyed my soul and my mental health. Now i'm afraid that if i really do meet a nice guy who cares for me, i won't be able to trust that and will destroy the relationship with my suspicion and distrust."
Gotta Love Yourself First
"Yep! My story on the nose! Narcissistic parents, toxic family, every single relationship I'd ever had, and most friendships, were one sided, emotional black holes. Wasn't until the pando that I spent so much time alone with myself that I started to like myself. Once I started liking myself I started questioning all the personal relationships I'd ever had: If I'm not complete garbage then why did my parents treat me like I was?"
"If I'm not worthless, why did I let my husband get away with treating me like I was? I started educating myself about recovering from narcissistic abuse, going to therapy, etc, and decided I was going to start being unapologetically myself from then on. The first date I went on after that was my boyfriend, over a year ago now. I was smitten, he was smitten, and for the first time in my life I knew I was with someone who liked ME, not the 'please like me I'll do anything if you'll just like me' character I'd been playing my whole life."
After Saying, "I Do"
"My first marriage. Didn't realize how manipulative he really was until I kicked him out."
The examples above are a good reminder that if something innately feels like it's too good to be true, that's because it is.
Our gut is there for a reason.
It's up to us to be open to hearing the rumblings deep within our core indicating that there may be red flags on our road to Dreamland.
They say life goes downhill after reaching the age of 40.
While I'm not sure who first made that assumption, it's not necessarily true.
Many people started new careers–even started a family–after they've gone "over the hill" and continue to thrive.
Sure, people in their 40s may not be as agile as they used to be when they were in their 20s, but it doesn't mean they can't maintain a healthy and active lifestyle well into the next decade or two.
In pursuit of looking for affirmation that life isn't over after hitting 40, Redditor Drakken11577 asked:
"What is better about life at age 40 than at age 20?"
There's a different mindset that shifts once you hit 40.
Forget What People Think
"Your 'give a damn' slowly breaks down and you care more about what makes you happy instead of what people think of you. It's a freeing experience."
Earning The Phrase
"'IDGAF' as a catch all just makes you an a**hole. Any kid can be an a**hole. It takes maturity to know when to give a f'k and when not to."
Embarrassment Is A Time-Waster
"That's the point that I'm at now. I care deeply and passionately about issues and people, but what they think of me is not one of them."
"It's simply a learned behavior after years of worrying about people's opinions of you and staying up late replaying conversations in your head. At some point, you realize all of that time was wasted and you probably never even see any of those people now anyway. Nothing was accomplished by being embarrassed or having worry."
"When people say, 'dance like nobody's watching,' That's sound advice. Very few people's opinions will actually matter in your life. Listen to the opinions of the special few that know you best and discard everything else."
Seeing What's Most Important
"More disposable income."
"The absolute best part though, is really not giving a flying F. Someone is mad at you, what's gonna happen... they aren't going to pay your mortgage?"
"Really, at that age, you realize what's important. You've seen/experienced a decent amount so not much phases you anymore."
"In my 20s, I used to feel like I had to do something amazing with my life and change the world, or I was wasting my potential. It was probably the reason I got depressed so much. At a certain point, I have come to accept the fact that I am among the 99.9% of people who are just kinda living our lives and not doing anything exceptional, and that's ok. Disclaimer: I'm not over 40, I'm 35, but close enough."
Best things come to those who wait.
"I know myself far better, still learning obviously but it's nice feeling happier in my own skin."
"Knowledge, life experience."
Kid At Heart
"I still feel like a kid at 48, and still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, but I am making much more sensible choices in life. In my 20's I had tons of credit card debt, these days I don't buy it if I can't afford it. I don't feel mature, and my sense of humor is downright sophomoric, but looking objectively at the way I approach life, and make decisions, I have matured a great deal."
"According to my 80-year-old parents the whole 'I still feel like a kid' thing never goes away."
"Won't Ever Want To Go Back"
"You have your sh*t together. You are comfortable in your skin, you don’t give a sh*t what others think of you, and in my case…kids were older and easier. I love my 40’s and wouldn’t want to ever go back."
And people had plenty to say about what goes on in the bedroom.
Here's The Difference
"In your 20s, it's about having sex."
"In your 40s, it's about having memorable sex."
No More Insecurities
"Practice makes (more) perfect."
"It’s a combination of being more experienced and less self-conscious. Sex at 20 is often times much more fraught with insecurities and just lack of experience. Also, look up the difference between adrenaline sex vs oxytocin sex. You can still have both at either age of course but age and time usually make the latter more common."
Older = Hotter
"100%. I'm 37 and my girlfriend is 42 and the sex is the best I've ever had."
People who complain about getting older are just wasting their breath.
That train has already left the station.
So what do you do with the time you have left on this planet? Live. Thrive. Have the best sex ever.
Because hitting 40 is only the beginning of good adventures to come–made possible by your acquired wisdom and life experience–as long as you allow the space for them to happen.
Just because rich people have thick pockets doesn't mean they're not capable of acts of kindness.
Many wealthy people genuinely like to help others and struggling institutions. George Soros, for example, is known for his philanthropy by giving scholarships to South African Black students during apartheid and Chuck Feeney, who actually became nearly broke after secretly giving away a great deal of money to various human rights causes.
Unfortunately, there are also plenty of affluent people who are led by their avarice to flaunt their privileged status.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor nononononononi asked:
"What's the most disturbing thing a rich person has done?"
Big money is typically tied to corruption.
Convicted Sex Offender
"I mean.... Epstein is probably up there."
"and everyone else involved."
"Epstein is terrible, I agree -- but more for the hint at what his existence implies lies beneath the veneer of society. Historically speaking, Epstein doesn't even make the top 100."
"Leopold II of Belgium in the Congo must be one the the most disturbing. 10 million people died to make a man who was born a prince even richer. Just shows there are no limits to greed."
Another Convicted Felon And Businessman
"Ed Buck is definitely up there. His thing was luring black, gay sex workers to his house, injecting them with crystal meth to the point where they'd pass out and then assault the victims. Some took the drugs 'willingly,' others did not. Two of the victims died because he overdosed them."
"Luckily he's been sentenced to 30 years in prison. At his age, he'll die there."
The following corporations were scrutinized for their corruption and scandalous affairs.
Ties To The Liberian Civil War
"Firestone (the tire company) basically operated a giant slave plantation (it took up a good amount of the entire country) that grew rubber in Liberia up until the 1980s. They contributed to the conditions that caused the Liberian Civil War that got countless people groups genocided. They evacuated white workers while leaving their black basically-slave workers to get massacred."
Have You Heard About Ford Lately?
"Ford did basically the same thing in Brazil in the 1920s. He even named it 'Fordlandia.'"
"It all came crashing down in 1930 when (among other dumb things) the cafeteria in the 'town' switched to self-service. Personally, I would've drawn the line at the forced square dancing classes the citizens had to attend."
Looking Out For Number One
"Nestle as a corporation stopping African women from producing their own milk with just enough free samples, ensuring they have nestle formula as their only option."
"Just watched Dopesick so create a highly addictive and incredibly dangerous drug, then lie about its dangers to make billions and create an opioid epidemic that still plagues millions. Oh and caused half a million deaths."
Murderer & Philanthropist
"John DuPont sponsored olympic sports competitors including members of the US wrestling team. His involvement went so far as to build private facilities at his Foxcatcher ranch, personally supporting athletes and their families with housing and travel. He befriended them and was extra involved to the point of hosting holidays, birthdays, and became semi-delusional that he was also an elite athlete."
"His delusions escalated as his own mental health deteriorated culminating in the murder of US Olympic wrestler Dave Schultz who he had an extremely long and close friendship."
"DuPont spent the rest of his life in an institution while all the athletes he supported, not to mention the victim's family, had to find other means to support themselves."
"There are many articles about what happened at Foxcatcher Ranch and a Netflix documentary featuring extensive interviews with athletes, police, and the victims families. Home videos are used throughout the Netflix doc and it's heartbreaking to see something that was seemingly wholesome end how it did."
There is no shortage of wealth people and their atrocious misdeeds.
"Plenty of examples from the Bullingdon Club. It's a student club at Oxford University for posh boys to flaunt their (parents') wealth. They're known for burning money in front of homeless people and smashing up restaurants and pubs."
"The really disturbing part is that two of the UK's last three Prime Ministers were members."
Land For Sale
"As one small but notable example:"
"In Mom's hometown, many acres of land from a former farm became available for sale."
"When news of the town intending to buy it to build affordable housing and a playground/park, a wealthy lady bought the property immediately at a much higher price because she 'didn't believe it was suitable to have low-income people decreasing property values in the area.'"
Money and corruption go hand in hand.
The examples mentioned above are only the tip of the iceberg as there are many other cases of people exerting their power and wealth that have yet to be exposed.
Life is just fraught with the rumors.
The older you get the more you learn about how easily duped we all are.
Who comes up with some of this nonsense?
And why are we so gullible?
Maybe because we don't learn to Google until we're at least 6.
It is time to eradicate some of these silly lies about hazards and danger.
We are more secure than we want the other person next to us to know.
Redditor AirAmbitious530wanted to know what certain parts of life we don't have to fret about. They asked:
"What things are said to be dangerous but are actually safe?"
I feel like this a lot of danger in the world. But that's just a given with living.
Sky HighTraveling On My Way GIF by NeighborlyNotary®Giphy
"Flying is safer than riding in a car by a long shot, right?"
"The most dangerous part about flying is driving to/from the airport."
"I suspect that myth about how long gum stays in your system came to be because of a misunderstanding. Probably someone laid out some fact like, 'It would take your body seven years to break down bubblegum.' Then some dumba** decided that meant it would stay inside you for seven years because he had never heard of pooping before."
In the Mist
"Gorillas. There are zero instances of a human ever being killed by a gorilla in the wild in all of history. They are peaceful herbivores. If you came across a gorilla in the wild just don't be a fool and respect its space. Don't look in its eyes, don't show your teeth, and just overall act submissive and non-threatening and you will be fine."
"Movies like Planet of the Apes and Congo really got people thinking gorillas are these rampaging beasts just waiting to tear you limb from limb. https://youtu.be/Ld8qkDKl89g"
"Eating food after the best before date."
"My country has a 'Best Before' and a 'Use By' label. If it's marked Best Before it's going to be fine to eat after the date, it's probably just going to suck. Common 'best before' foods include canned foods, cereals, biscuits, sauces, chocolate, sugar, flour and frozen foods."
"Use by means you shouldn't consume it after that date. Common 'use by' foods include milk, sliced ham and shaved meats."
"Eating seeds of watermelon/apples. Would take literal lbs of them to kill you."
Seeds? Seeds are suppose to be dangerous? Never heard that one. Not that I'm a seed eater.
MOOOOOoooooo....Dairy Cow GIF by Milk MoovementGiphy
"Sharks, they’re a lot safer than movies like Jaws make them seem."
"Statically you're more likely to die by cow than a shark."
"Cracking your knuckles - there's absolutely no link to arthritis, people just say that because they hate the sound."
"I used to crack my knuckles when I’d get waxed. Just to take the sensation away and try and focus on something else. The lady that waxed me would always yell at me about how dangerous it is, maybe she just hated the sound too. But we’re even for the pain then haha."
Inside the Squall
"I'm seriously wondering if 'taking a shower during a thunder storm' should be on this list. I've always heard it was dangerous, but I've never in my life heard of anyone being harmed by it."
"I don't know about showering but back when we still had corded phones my aunt was talking to someone when lightning hit the phone line. She had burns on her ear and hand and her hair caught fire. She was, of course very shaken but not seriously injured. She was the first person in the family to get a cell phone."
8 Legged Issues
"I remember seeing a tarantula in the grass when I was a kid. I went in close to look at it, and it turned to me and reared up, fanning its legs out to look intimidating. Then it immediately fell on its back. Totally shattered the tough guy image."
From Abovecat skydiving GIFGiphy
"Sky diving is a lot more safe than people think."
"Correct. It's been a long time since I looked at the numbers but IIRC the vast majority of skydiving deaths are experienced jumpers pushing the limits of their skill/equipment. Deaths among first time and students was incredibly low."
Life isn't as scary as you might think. You just have to have faith.