A You Problem

My older brother once told me this (after I had vented about another failing relationship): If you have a problem in your relationship and you haven't told your partner ....it's a YOU problem.

It really forced me to work on communicating better (and also knowing when to call time) in general.

- raethefish

I don't understand why people have such a difficult time telling their partners when something is wrong. Does it feel better to snap at them and bite their head off?

- -4twenty-

Advice

"Only take advice from people who have what you want."

Helped me find actual mentors, and got me reading things that would actually help me.

- thedukeofdelicacies

Great advice. When people learn I've been successful financially they either want to tell me about their business idea or ask me how I did it and how they can too. Almost universally they don't actually listen to me. They're too excited to talk about themselves and their big plans. I'm very willing to give people advice, but in 2 or 3 years I've yet to meet someone who actually listens.

These days, in real life, I do everything I can to suggest I'm not wealthy so people don't pitch me their shitty business ideas then ignore me when I offer feedback.

- ignost

I'm a tax accountant. My family asked me about tax deductions. I told them their personal expenses aren't deductible. They tried to negotiate with me.

You asked. I told you the law. Stop trying to convince me. I don't care what you put on your taxes.

One of my cousins asked me about this guy who has a multi-step plan to become wealthy. I've seen tax returns of people with similar occupation titles and their taxes do not reflect what is on their website as proof of their success. So I told her he's a scammer and was indicted for fraud.

"But what kind of fraud? Because if it wasn't for mortgage fraud..."

Does it really matter what kind of fraud? And if you didn't really want my opinion, why did you ask?

- -4twenty-

Bad Food

"The money you save buying bad food will later be spent on hospital bills"

-Serbian dude in a grocery store when my family first came to America

- xokoper683

Ah yes, America. The place that combines extremely unhealthy cheap food with extremely expensive health care.

- modern_milkman

There are such things as "food deserts," though. Places where it's harder to get nutritious meals.

"Unprocessed, healthy, fresh food, with no preservatives" often equates to "spoils quickly, needs time to cook, can even be expensive depending on where you live."

For middle to upper class that's doable, but when you're overworked and living paycheck to paycheck, you buy cheap, long-lasting stuff that requires minimal prep.

- AdvocateSaint

Act Broke

Act broke to stay rich

- Boootaa

My wife and I do ok for ourselves.

We live in a nice neighborhood, and our neighbors drive fancy cars and seem really wealthy. Then when we talk to them more, we find out they have no savings.

- Dudeinairport

Money talks, wealth whispers.

- ballermasri

I know some millionaires. They drive basic models of relatively inexpensive cars that are forever old. They buy their clothes from Walmart.

And that's their secret. They're millionaires because they don't spend frivolously.

- -4twenty-

Better Than A Zero

As a perfectionist, who also procrastinates (yes I know) it's really difficult for me to do an assignment if I know I won't be doing it perfectly or on my exact terms.

Due to the corner I back myself in to most times, I don't always have the time to submit the work that I feel reflects my true potential and I get so overwhelmed that I don't want to do it at all.

I had someone tell me it's better to get a decent grade like an 8/10 rather than submit nothing and get zero if that makes sense. Get the credit and make the best with the time you have left otherwise you'll regret that zero just because you wanted a 10.

Idk if anyone else has this particular struggle or needs to hear this but yeah it's helped me anytime I've felt like giving up.

- toiletqueef

I know this advice as "don't let perfect get in the way of good". It means work on producing a good, finished artefact rather than chasing unrealistic goals of perfection.

- digibollocks

Good Luck

From my professor in college about a final in an email:

"Students, I will not wish you good luck on this test. Luck is wished on those who believe they will do bad. Instead, I wish you the best on finding time to study for this exam, guaranteeing you a passing grade."

- erwreckahh

Reminds me of a professor who explained on the first day that his class is structured to be "easy to pass, easy to fail, and hard to get an A in." So much of life is like that-if all you want is to not fail, just show up and do the basics. If you want to excel it gets much more difficult. I know it's not advice in the traditional sense but I think about it a lot.

- turingtested

Being Nice

"Yer born into a world that ya didn't ask for, suffer for decades, and then ya die. Cuz everyone dies to make room for the new gen. Dun't matter if yer rich or poor or lucky or unlucky, cuz everyone is suffering in their own way. So be nice to em, because it'll make em suffer a little less, and you'll feel better too. Being nice is all you can do, and it does a lot."

-my dad roughly 20 years ago

I honestly never received such brutally honest advice that actually helped me become a better person.

- Brangur

Nobody Knows What They're Doing

No one really knows what they're doing in their job. The closer you get to the roles at the top, the more you'll see that everyone is still making their best guess.

Instead of worrying about making the right call 100% of the time, and procrastinating on decisions, get better at failing but moving forward from it.

- macadamianutt

Friendshifts

There are friendships and there are friend"shifts."

Most people you'll get to know during your life will be friend"shifts," just a few will be friendships. That doesn't mean the relationships that end don't have meaning, though be prepared that a deep one, even most deep ones will eventually fade, and that's ok.

It may sound like a downer, but it has helped me to not get so devastated when I realize someone I care about isn't part of my life anymore.

- DJArcusII

You Don't Have To Be Stupid

You don't have to be stupid to do dumb things.

We all screw up from time to time, but that's not a reflection on your intellect. Be an adult about it, acknowledge your error as necessary, correct it, learn from it. If you're worried about people judging you for screwing up, they're probably paying a lot less attention to you than you think, and chances are they either didn't notice or didn't care.

- EwoksMakeMeHard