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People Who Have Been A 'Homewrecker' Break Down How It Impacted Their Relationships

People Who Have Been A 'Homewrecker' Break Down How It Impacted Their Relationships
Image by Goran Horvat from Pixabay

Fidelity isn't everyone's strong suit and ethical nonmonogamy has been the dominant relationship model for most of human history - but that doesn't mean cheating is okay. Don't get my words twisted

Even among non-monogamous people, cheating is a cardinal sin. (Yes, you can cheat if you're non-monogamous.) Lying, deception, and secrets are the sort of thing that is going to tank a relationship 100% of the time. It's just a matter of when.


Having said all that, even though people know the devastating affects of cheating, it's typically the "homewrecker" that draws ire - even more than the cheater. We never understood that.

But we don't understand being a "homewrecker" either. Like, if you know the person has a partner then what are you doing? Why would you let yourself be the secret, the side piece, the fallback?

One Reddit user asked:

People who have been the "home wrecker" what sort of impact has it had on you?

So of course I'm over here rubbing my hands together excited for juicy gossip... but that's not what I got. I got backstory after backstory from people who had been manipulated. People who had been lied to. People who had been purposefully preyed on.

Of course there were a few answers from people who are just happy proud cheaters (boooooo to them) but for the most part these responses once again proved that abusive narcissists leave no one unscathed in their wake.

Snooping In Her Emails

I messed around with a girl a handful of times until I found out her boyfriend was in Iraq. She'd left her laptop up when she was in the shower. I'm kind of a piece of crap and decided to snoop around. Instead, I found her email and the emails from her boyfriend. Talking about marriage after he gets back.

For me. That sh!t is verboten.

I copied down his email address and then wrote him later. Told him everything. Boy was he pissed.

He dumped her.

Him and I are going to a Football game in November.

- Get_b_Frobe1

The Worst Time To Find Out

Season 8 Episode 24 GIF by FriendsGiphy

Found out - while in labor - that my child's father had another woman pregnant and was marrying her. We weren't in a relationship, we were just friends with benefits, but he never said a single word about her and I found out they had been dating for over two years.

I actually waited 5 months to tell her anything.

She didn't believe me until I sent her a copy of the DNA test. She ended up thanking me. We talk now and hope to raise the kids knowing each other.

He's not too happy.

- rawr-nickie-rawr

The Landlady

I hooked up with a roommate/landlady (dumb move off the bat I know!) because she told me that her and her partner were in an open relationship.

I confirmed with her boyfriend that they were in an open relationship, but neither of them told me that roommates were off the table. I went ahead with it because it was the first time a woman showed that she was into me without me trying. It was a great confidence boost and I hadn't had many before.

We got together a few times before I found out the boyfriend wasn't cool with it. I, of course, broke it off because I felt lied to, but the damage was done. The entire vibe of the house changed.

It was a pretty big house with multiple rooms being rented out. At the start, we had house meals sometimes and game nights, just a general friendly vibe. Afterwards we all kinda isolated.

I apologized to the guy, I didn't know exactly what was going on and I felt terrible about it. In the end the great place I had found with awesome people just fell apart.

Honestly, it's probably the biggest regret of my life, everyone moved out and I hope the couple were able to work things out without me being there as a reminder.

- 523bucketsofducks

Life's Research

Fell in love with my best friend at 17. He was in a multi-year long relationship with an amazing woman, but I didn't really know her. He told me everything I wanted to hear and was the first man I'd met to express that kind of interest in me. I was young, dumb, and insecure.

So I fell for it (and all the bull he spewed about the reasons his girlfriend wouldn't be mad, he was protecting her mental health by staying with her even though they were totally done, she was unstable, etc.) and we were in a full-blown romantic and sexual affair for a few months. He ended up kind of ghosting me after that, gaslighting me about the seriousness of our relationship, and continuing to date his girlfriend until she left him for another guy (good riddance lol).

I struggled with trust and self-loathing for a long time after that. Ended up dedicating my life to researching and treating infidelity/relational challenges. I now work as a couples therapist and am very passionate about what I do!

I want to someday publish research on the psychological rationalization and aftermath that extradyadic partners (homewreckers) experience. For how common it is, there is virtually no research about that third person, what gets them to participate, and the impact. I am also in a loving relationship with a great guy.

- _KaseyRae_

The Ultimatum Didn't Work Out

Lived with a guy for several years that was sort of the home wrecker. Basically he was shagging a married chick that had 2 kids. She would hang out at our place a lot. Eventually roomie caught the feels for her and gave her an ultimatum: to leave her husband and be with him.

Well as you can all guess she did not. So he called her husband and told him about the affair. In the end her and her husband are still together and my roomie got lost in drugs. He later got arrested and spent a few years in TDOC custody.

I no longer speak to either.

- just_another_scott

I Deserve It

Had an affair with a married man.

Yes, I knew he was married. Yes, I knew his wife. Yes, I thought she "didn't understand him" and we were true love. Yes, he ended up cheating on me with a married woman who ended up leaving her 2nd husband for him.

They are still together. It was the worst thing I ever did and I hope when I die his ex-wife joyfully dances on my grave; I deserve it.

- ExGomiGirl

Running From Proud Boys

Here's the story, and I'll leave it to to you guys whether or not I'm in the wrong. I'm too deep into it now for it to matter either way.

I had known my best friend for about a decade when this all went down. We were about as close as friends can be, even though we lived in different states. Talked to each other almost daily to check in, knew pretty much everything there was to know about each other. She had been with the same boyfriend for about five of those years.

I was supportive of their relationship for a while, as we always had been with each other's romantic trysts. But the last two years had seen a number of giant red flags pointing to evidence of abuse. She eventually admitted it to me, but begged me not to get involved. I decided to anyway after she attempted suicide.

I moved out to her state under other pretenses (I had been planning on going back to school anyway, I just made sure it was near where she lived). She and I hadn't spent much time in person together for a number of years, so there was a lot of making up for lost time. Now that I was closer, I saw all kinds of evidence of gaslighting, verbal, and physical abuse. They also ostensibly had an "open" relationship, which was basically just a way to justify his cheating on her.

When a third party mentioned that he seemed to take part in outside affairs way more than she did, he jokingly started encouraging me to sleep with her. This continued for another month or two, with him constantly pushing me to sleep with her so everyone would get off his back. Long story short, we did we did end up in bed together. And then we continued to do it for the next week, whenever we had the chance. A lot of deeply buried feelings came out during this, and we realized we had been in love with each other for a long time.

So she dumped him. We had to flee the state pretty soon after. The ex was a member of a group of White supremacists who called themselves Proud Boys (I don't know if it's the same ones who have featured so prominently in recent weeks), and he had rallied his racist buddies to kill us. I'm a Jew anyway, so they just needed an excuse.

We've been married for almost eight years now. Our son just turned five.

- Roland_T_Flakfeizer

High School Mean Girl

i know right mean girls GIFGiphy

I suppose high school is too young to be considered a home wrecker, but back then I was so desperate for love that I back stabbed almost every female friend I had.

I'm very aware of it now, and I'm just sad that I was that person. I feel bad for everyone that I hurt. Especially because high school guys are really stupid, and they weren't worth what I ended up going through as a result of hurting people.

- irkencat

19 And Naive

Ughhh....here it goes. Slept with a married man for years. He lied and told me they were divorcing as soon as the kids got out of high school and they were only together for the kids. She ended up showing up at my work and confronted me....of course I told the truth and holy sh*t did my life suck after that.

I fell for the lies hook, line and sinker. Turns out he was a sex addict. Had been with many, many women and I guess I was the only one dumb enough to tell her the truth.

I was know as the "home wrecker" and 20 years later it still gets thrown in my face.

She actually believed his dumb-ass and she just assumed I was some crazy girl. I literally gave her details about her home, bed, etc and she still thought I was lying. His charades went on for many years after...like 15 more years...until the gig was up. Too many women were now coming forward and accusing him of cheating and lying.


They finally divorced just recently. I saw her at a local gathering and wanted to apologize to her so badly, but the look of disgust on her face was too intimidating. It is something I will regret for the rest of my entire life.

Funny how the one that had vows and children with her got zero punishment, yet I got bashed and shunned for falling for his BS. I was only a teenager (19) then. It literally destroyed my life and self-esteem. He was a professional manipulator that took advantage of a young naïve girl and wrecked her young world.

It's like he got away with it free and clear. She was so in denial until she busted him with one of her friends and broke up their marriage. But she STILL stayed with him after that!

I wish I would have known the impact it would have on the rest of my life then. Literally 20 years later it still gets brought up. We were having a get together at my house and someone felt the need to tell my husband (as if he didnt know) and it blew up into a big mess. I was so "in love" with him and had many plans for our future once his kids moved out. How dumb I was.

The people in my life that matter all know about it and know that I was completely taken advantage. God, I hate that man.

- Nurse_Gringo

They're The Ones Making The Choice

I've been with a few married, engaged and otherwise attached girls.

It doesn't bother me now, and it didn't when I did it. They were up-front about their status, and I didn't particularly care one way or the other. I'm not the one that caused them to make their decisions.

I don't know why it should bother me; they were all adults and made their own decisions.

- ModsAreHallMonitors

I'm The Sort Of Person Who Could Do That

I felt guilty pretty much all the time, but at that point I was severely depressed, I'd never felt anything close to happy and I was fully convinced I never would again. I tried to rationalize it a million ways but a part of me always hated myself for it. Yet at the same time I couldn't find the mental strength to break out of it. Until they told me they were going to marry their partner.. that snapped me out of denial and I finally managed to do the right thing and get out of the situation.

I don't regret it in the sense that I know I did my best given my mental state at the time, but I will always wish I didn't find out that I'm the sort of person who could do something like that.

- throooowaawayyy01293

Polycule Problems

I was in a polyamorous relationship with a married couple. The wife ended up being psycho and abusive to the husband. I started pointing it out to him. She didn't like that and broke us all up. The husband and I reconnected because he was miserable. He needed someone he trusted to talk to. He left her and moved in with me. We're now married and having a baby.

His ex is still awful and makes it very difficult to see his kids.

We're happy together and we have a very healthy relationship. I do feel bad for being involved in the end of a marriage, but honestly she was terribly abusive.

- Momma_Hew

Nothing I Wouldn't Risk

I lost everything except my dogs. 5 ish years later, I still haven't recovered from the series of events and poor decisions it set in motion.

I don't regret it though. I realize I was a fool for thinking it would work out and we would get married or whatever, but it was the happiest I have ever been, and there wasn't anything I wouldn't have risked to live the rest of my life like that.

- unknownsliver

The Side Chick Who Had No Idea

I just found out my engagement of 5 years was a fraud. I was getting impatient and wanted our relationship to move forward and I started to ask questions and snoop. Ends up he was married the whole time.

I was the side chick who probably was seen as a home wrecker and I had no idea. He told me he was divorced from day one.

- missiemiss

Tyler

Oh No Facepalm GIF by moodmanGiphy

I met this guy named Tyler on a dating app and we got along and everything seemed fine. One day I get a text from a number I don't know and they tell me that they are Tyler's wife and ask if I've had sex with Tyler. Thankfully we didn't have sex yet but she tells me she wants me to send her any text messages I have between Tyler and I so she can use them as evidence when she divorces him.

Found out from his wife that Tyler has been cheating on her with multiple women for months and even had another apartment that he would take women to so they could fck. Not only that, but he had 2 small kids. I felt like such a sl*t, I know I didn't know he had a wife but it made me feel so horrible that I was flirting and almost went on a date with a married man. I hope his wife went through with the divorce, she deserves better.

- spazmcgee1


That's the thing with the term "home wrecker" a lot of women are dragged into it. You didn't know so it's not your fault but thank Goodness you dodged a bullet to!

- West-sheepherd

Vindictive Ex

I slept with my boss a few times, with permission from his wife (they had an open marriage and would regularly have "side pieces"). A year later, they were starting divorce proceedings, we were still working together. She was really controlling and- turns out, vindictive as Hell. She was moving things out of their house when he was at work one day and she got into his computer, screenshot messages between he and I about hooking up from the year before and got him fired. I've always felt so bad for that and his life went way downhill from there.

- LadyofAnorLondo

Not Proud, But It's The Truth

So, looking back on this, I'm not proud of this. My only excuse is that in an abusive friendship at the time and didn't have much of a sense of self-confidence or self-worth.

Back in High School, there was a girl who had a crush on me. I was pining for a different girl, and didn't really notice. Nothing really happened.

A few years later, in my early 20s, we got in contact and started chatting on MSN messenger. We meet up one night, and one thing leads to another, and we end up making out with some fondling.

She had a fiance at this time. I knew.

We make plans to hang out the next day. We watch a movie, and right after we had sex. I actually lost my virginity that day.

After that nothing happened and we eventually lost contact with each other. Last I heard she was now married to the guy and had a kid with him.

Looking back on it, I know it was wrong. But at the time... it was a big confidence booster that I needed. It felt really good to know that a girl wanted to have sex with me enough to risk her relationship to do so. I'm definitely not proud of feeling that way, but it's the truth of what I felt.

And while some people might be angry with this, I can't say that, even today, I regret it. I wouldn't do it today, even if I was single, but I can't say I regret. It's completely selfish, but I was in a bad place at the time, and it was what I needed.

- Lodgik

I Fell For The Lies

I fell for the lies- they are breaking up soon, she's waiting for the kid to graduate high school, they haven't had sex in years, she's already seeing someone else...he even brought me to their house to see her boxes to prove she was leaving (ends up they were for their jointly purchased vacation house)- I was realizing slowly that it wasn't all adding up when he "accidentally" left his phone unlocked while she was home.

She called me livid- I refused to talk to her but told her I'd text as long as she wanted. She kept trying to goad me- saying I had to have known, they had sex all the time, they just bought a vacation house- I told her it really didn't matter- I didn't know they were "together" and as far as I was concerned he was all hers.

She contacted me again a week later saying he told her I was just some crazy chick who wouldn't leave him alone- I told her a few details to show I wasn't lying but again it didn't really matter, I was done with him.

She contacted me AGAIN a month after that saying she's dug through more of his emails and I wasn't the only one- I told her it didn't matter to me, I hadn't had anything to do with him since the first time she called...that seemed to break her. I think she wanted to just blame it all on me, but clearly he's been doing this awhile.

Ran into him months later, he asked how I'd been, I asked how SHE was- he said she'd left him not long after that last call. I said she was a smart girl.

I still feel terribly guilty- I should have seen right through all that crap. I have/had trust issues with relationships since then.

- TheRuncibleSpoon

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It's Over: Why People Instantly Fell Out Of Love With Their Crush

A Redditor asked: 'What killed your feelings for someone you were once madly in love with?'

Relationships are meant to be fun, and having a crush can feel so dreamy in a way, but there are reasons for relationships to end and crushes to dissolve.

Those reasons are absolutely valid, but some of them are also really terrible to think about.

A Redditor who has since deleted their account asked:

"What killed your feelings for someone you were once madly in love with?"

All For Convenience

"He just didn't seem to actually give a s**t about me, unless I was doing something for him or making his life easier."

- Foreveragu

The Biggest Ick

"When he left me for someone half my age. By the way, I was 29 years old."

- delusionallinkedchic

No Needs Met

"He stopped meeting my needs. I noticed he would bend over backwards for anyone else but neglected me all the time. Any small thing I asked was just too much."

"If he did ask me if I wanted anything from the store, etc., he would come back with everything everyone else asked for and he would forget mine. He peed on the toilet seat so many times and refused to be considerate and wipe after use..."

"The final straw was when I lost my brother recently. He just left me to grieve and didn't really give me any emotional support, no hugs, no asking if I'm alright. He became irritable and moody and now I've just lost whatever was left."

- velvetcharlotte

Their Smallest Fan

"Their constant daily criticism of everything I do, every little thing!"

- jay105000

The Unfaithful Partner

"She cheated on me with a married man. I cried and said I thought we were going to get married someday."

"She said, 'I was NEVER going to marry you!'"

"Nice way to kick someone when they're down..."

- Weary_Boat

Too Humbling of an Experience

"She said, 'I'm just... better than you.'"

"That was said to me the night after I finished my first degree in music. Apparently, I wasn't a 'hard science' major, so all her friends convinced her that I wasn't as good as them... or her."

"Ah well. Could have been worse."

- ThePencilRain

Not In Sickness, Just Health

"He treated my like s**t while I was going through cancer treatment."

- Multipass08

In Love With Being Chased

"In secondary school, I had a crush on a close friend, we were close as friends but nothing more. I eventually (after probably four years of showing hints, getting her gifts, and asking her out to meals and dates) told her exactly how I felt, and asked her how she felt."

"She knew already, but she wanted me to keep trying. She didn't want to be with me, she enjoyed having someone follow her around and dote on her. She then proceeded to have a relationship with every bloke in a friendship group."

"Not gonna lie, I was broken for a good while, but several relationships later, I haven't spoken to her in several years, but keep up with our old friend groups. According to them, she is desperately lonely after doing this with several other guys and now no one wants anything to do with her..."

"But yeah, being told she knew and that nothing was going to change killed all sorts of feelings in me for a long time."

- Practical_Junket8195

The One Who Projects

"The lying, cheating, and stealing."

"Plus all the accusations against me cheating and lying. And false allegations when I didn't react to the drama. Physically and emotionally abusive but I'm the male so no one cares."

"That kind of does it. It's sad, to be honest."

- Encased_in_Gold

So, So True

"Loss of trust does it every time. There can be no love without trust."

- mkwas343

Desperate for Love

"Awareness of my own false overhyped perception of her and realized that I have been overlooking her flaws because I was desperate to be with someone."

- ZenMyst

Disloyal and Unsupportive: A Classic Combination

"He cheated on me and told me it's not his problem so I should solve it alone and come back to him once I let go of things. Left him the next day."

- Buttercup0616

The Lack of Respect

"The put-downs, the insults disguised as jokes, constant derision, threats of cheating, laziness, greed, not caring about what they look like (wanting you to be in tip-top shape all the time, while they gain and get heavier and heavier)."

"They look down on you, treat you like a child or worse. Treated like a servant... or a slave. I could just carry on, but I could just give a few examples of my own experience. But you've read my rant long enough to get what I am saying."

- Background_Break2616

Absolutely No Excuse

"Subtle racist remarks that snowballed into blatant racism. Hopefully they have changed for the better."

- ThreeOneThirdMan

Not As a Second Option

"She said no and then came back a few days later saying actually yes, why not."

"Yeah no, you had one chance baby and you blew it."

- Maaaaaath

It's clear why these relationships ended. While it's nice for relationships to work out, a person shouldn't stay with it just for the sake of having a relationship, and these are great examples of why.

Man swimming with sharks
Mike L/Unsplash

The Final Destination movies are not good for those who have any phobias, as the franchise taps into all your fears.

In spite of the films making audiences paranoid about cheating death, it does make you think about our mortality and of the many times we may have had brushes with death.

No matter how hard the characters tried to avoid it, they could never change their fate because any attempt to do so would only result in death striking back with an unforgiving vengeance.

However, there are exceptions.

Strangers online reflected on their evasiveness when Redditor yuckyduckph asked:

"How did you almost die?"

Beauty grows in nature.

But don't be fooled, for risks abound.

Potent Bloom

"Got lost in the Bolivian rainforest for three days after consuming tea made from angel trumpets."

– Leftsuitcase

"I have Angel's Trumpets (Datura) in my back yard, and everywhere in my neighborhood / around town. I don't know how many people realize how toxic they are. In some areas in S America, people refuse to even stand near them. They're quite beautiful in full bloom, tho. NS if all the species (inc hybrids) are dangerous. Cue: botanist."

"I've never understood you people who go drink random plant potions in the jungle, far from hospitals, with 'shamans' 'n' sh*t. Half of my friends have done that. But another friend of mine recently died that way. He was super smart and cautious, too. Had a family. Always be skeptical, wary, and weigh out risks.""

– manlypanda

Warning Ignored

"I was leaving a restaurant with my boyfriend one night and saw a couple in the parking lot messing around."

"She was dancing seductively with a big bunch of Oleander flowers gripped in her teeth."

"For those that don’t know, Oleanders are very popular for hedges, hard to kill, but are extremely toxic. You’re not supposed to trim them without gloves."

"I stopped in a panic screaming at her to spit it out while telling her boyfriend they were toxic and she should go to the ER immediately."

"They thought I was kidding and told me to basically f'k off. My boyfriend dragged me away and said we should get out of there because we didn’t want to see how it ended..."

– flavius_lacivious

Rare Respiratory Attack

"Caught an incredibly rare fungus that attacked my lungs and would have attacked my other internal organs. Took two years to diagnose because it’s so rare. Only patient my respirologist has ever seen with it. Dropped to almost 80 pounds. I could literally feel myself slowly dying."

"Infectious aspergillosis. Extremely rare. Almost everyone has some aspergillis in their system because it’s everywhere."

– KathAlMyPal

The ocean holds many secrets.

Dangerous Stunt

"In the fall of '91 I was in Hawaii and dove into this blow hole in Hanauma Bay. (That's not me in the video, but it's the blow hole.)"

"My buddies were doing it and it was no problem for them."

"The problem for me was that I was a lot bigger than them, so my lats got stuck as I was face down in the hole."

"The concept is you time the waves and dive in just as the water recedes and the flow pulls you through."

"Well, I got stuck and had to wiggle my way down, ripping up the skin on my lats and ribs."

"So I finally get down and I have to swim like a mofo, but it's too late...the next flow is coming in."

"I'm at the edge, almost there, so I have to grab onto the edge with both hands like a kidnapping victim holds the doorframe so as not to be abducted."

"The wave cycle is not very long, but when you're doing something new and panicking, it feels like an eternity."

"I've heard they have closed off this portion of the bay."

"I know I don't need to do that again!"

– saleswhisperer

Massive Rip Tide

"I swam under the diving rock at Waimea Bay and almost didn't make it to other side (smoker). Same day they dug out the lagoon channel to make the endless wave. My 'friend' took me out to learn bodysurfing the shorebreak and it was about 8 foot sets which were HUGE and heavy. We go to swim out and get absolutely pummeled and pulled out. Then trying to get back in we got sucked into that lagoon river outflow and it was basically a massive rip tide. In about five minutes we were 400 yards out in the bay with out a boogie/surf board. We had to swim east towards sunset Bay to get to shore. I still can't believe we made it."

– Brutusmatic

Place To Avoid

"Exploring tidal cliffs, accidentally slipped into the water. Went in sideways, narrowly missed hitting my head. Just barely clawed my way out of the rough tidal zone; it was way over my head & was so choppy I was being slammed against rock. Please be careful around tidal cliff zones!"

– beachblanketparty

Grateful For Jellyfish

"When I was about 14 I slipped on a tidal cliff hit my head and went into the water, luckily I didn’t go unconscious but I was caught in the under current and couldn’t see which way was up because it was so f'king cold and dark (Oregon coast, pacific ocean), and just as I was about to give up I saw all these tiny jellyfish above me and swam towards them, got me to the surface and I was able to make it back to shore because I was a pretty strong swimmer at the time."

"Thank you Jellyfish"

"Several years later two people I know were hit by a sneaker wave very close to the same spot and they both died being crushed up against those rocks."

– CurseofLono88

Things don't get any better on terra firma.

Nearly Skewered

"T-boned by a cement truck. Guy at the tow yard couldn’t believe I was still alive."

– psharp203

"I can't believe you are still alive either, I've watched two of those cave a road and heard horror stories about them tipping. You good? Got all ya bits n pieces?"

– FlyerOfTheSkys

The Major Rescue Operation

"Went on a high elevation alpine hike on Mt. Rainier with an out of town friend. At around 10,000 feet we decided it was time to head back down the mountain. About five minutes into the descent I was in an uncontrolled glissade across a snow field."

"Even though I knew better, after I was unable to slow myself I put my feet down. That's when my crampons bit into the snow and stopped me, sending all of the force into my legs. I heard an unsettling pop and felt excruciating pain. As soon as I stopped I looked down and saw that the heel of my left boot was where the toe should have been."

"I had severely broken my leg and I was at least a 3 hour hike down with sunlight (and warmth) declining. We were not equipped to be there after dark. Within a couple of minutes I could feel my extremities beginning to tingle. Was going into shock. Fortunately, I had some glucose gel packs which I began to suck on. And that seemed to keep the shock at bay."

"Which was a good thing because the radiating pain was quite enough. Our cell phones weren't working well but another stroke of luck was that I had put a GMRS radio in the bottom of my pack and as such we were able to get word out on the radio that we were in trouble and needed help."

"Ham radio operators heard us and relayed our position and the details to the rangers. The National Park Service couldn't get a helicopter that was willing to fly to that elevation so late in the day (on a Sunday in early October). So they had to gather a party of climbing rangers to come get me."

"A couple of other climbers on the way up the mountain really saved me by giving up their climb and assisting me, covering me with sleeping bags and making tea while one of them went back down the mountain to meet the rangers coming up. Shock and hypothermia very likely would have done me in that night if they hadn't happened upon us and helped."

"It was pitch dark and freezing cold by the time the rangers arrived four hours later. They strapped me into a litter and had to carry me off the mountain. Unfortunately, the climbing rangers are not EMTs and do not dispense meds. So even though they were doing all of the work on the climb down it was absolutely excruciating for me. It was almost 9 hours between the time of the accident and the time I checked in to the emergency room."

– cjboffoli

The one time I casually got certified as a scuba driver was when I was in Cozumel, Mexico, I almost drowned.

I went exploring in an underwater cave, where I probably shouldn't have gone as an amateur diver. I remember swimming upwards and smacking my head pretty hard on some rock work. I felt like I was about to pass out.

I tried my best not to panic, which probably saved my life. I slowly found my way out of the darkness and eventually out of the waters. I felt dizzy the rest of the day.

Yeah, I haven't gone scuba diving since.

Little girl looking out a window
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Memory can be a funny thing.

There are some memories in which every moment will remain completely vivid in our minds for the rest of our lives.

Others we might remember the context and moments from, but find ourselves a bit hazy on some specifics and details.

Some people have memories like that from their childhood, where they weren't exactly sure what they were remembering.

With a little time, as well as some context from others, discovering what these memories were is sometimes a very rude awakening indeed.

As the only way to describe these particular memories could be "F*cked up."

Redditor Specific_Dimension77 was curious to hear from people with memories from childhood which they learned in adulthood were a bit more unsettling than they realized, leading them to ask:

"What’s something f*cked up you witnessed during your childhood, but didn’t realize the severity of until you were older?"

Unknowingly Complicit...

"My dad and I used to play 'Spaceship”'and to get the spaceship started, I’d have to blow into a tube to hear the electronic beep."

"It was his DUI test to start the car before they started putting cameras in the cars."

"Glad he’s sober these days."- Expensive_Change_893

"Pretty sure when I was 7 I was an accomplice to robbery."

"I was supposed to stay the night at my friend's house."

"Her parents said we're stopping to look at a house real quick."

"I didn't think anything of the adults all black outfits."

"They were still professional."

"I did think it was odd that they had me go through the bathroom window to unlock the door, but they said the realtor forgot to give them the key."

"This was such a beautiful, wealthy home."

"They didn't take anything large, but I did notice the mom leaving with a lot more jewelry on the she came in with."

"She said she left it last time they were there."- prettylittlepastry

Sometimes Its A Blessing When A Memory Gets Foggy

"I was sitting on the couch at 5 yo when my parents started arguing and my mom threw a red book at my dad."

"Just thought it was a fight."

"Turns out it was their pre-divorce fight after my dad caught her cheating."

"Didn’t learn about the cheating until I was 16 and only recently learned it was a brick that she threw at him."- missybeputtinitdown

"To Err Is Human, To forgive Is Divine."

"One of the times my dad left he would send me beautiful letters with the envelope decorated in different cartoons and cute drawings."

"I was maybe 9 at the time and clueless."

"A few years later I realized he would decorate the envelopes to take attention away from the red 'inmate mail' stamp on it."- Smolbeanis

Sense Memory

"When I was about 12, me and dad were walking the dog, when we saw a huge fire at a house at the end of our street."

"My dad was a fireman at the time, so his first reaction was to sprint towards it."

"Naturally, I followed him."

"A crowd of people had gathered around a bus shelter nearby, so I went to see what was happening."

"On the ground was a kid from my school, I think he was 2 or 3 years below me."

"I'll never forget how badly his face and hands were burnt."

"The skin was a strange mixture of charred flesh and fresh blood."

"I just froze for what felt like an eternity before my dad found me and sent me home whilst he stayed to help."

"The kid survived, but it was years before I saw him again."

"He was horribly disfigured as a result."

"I don't think about it much, but every summer we have a barbeque, and the smell of the coals takes me right back to that evening."- Full-Cardiologist233

Privilege Check

"When I was a kid, we took a family trip to Las Vegas and stayed at Circus Circus."

"My mom wanted to get a magnet or souvenir from Caesar’s Palace, so we parked somewhere and went inside."

"I wanna say we might have parked in an area reserved for staff?"

"Or it could’ve been for guests/visitors."

"That part is very fuzzy."

"My parents didn’t care regardless and had never been there."

"When we were walking back to the car and over a sewer grate (the kind with slots) I sneezed."

"A gruff, male voice from below in the sewer said 'bless you!'"

"Being an innocent kid, I said thanks as my parents hurried my brother and I into the rental car."

"Years later as an adult, I watched a documentary about homeless people who live in the Las Vegas sewers."

"In it when they’re inside one of the sewer tunnels, their guide pointed up at a sewer grate above them and said 'you see this?'"

"'This is the parking lot of Caesar’s Palace'.”

"That whole realization that I was there as a kid gave me whiplash."- snickerdoodle_bandit

The Truth Can Really Hurt

'My seventh grade English teacher accidentally gave me a document he had written."

"It was on an old floppy disc he assumed was blank."

"It described how he volunteered with an humanitarian group in the 70's that traveled through impoverished countries and provided free vasectomies."

"They eventually trained him how to do it, and he would do them, even though he had no real medical training."

"This is not even the messed up part."

"He goes on to explain that he decides that he wanted a vasectomy and to do it himself. He then described in very graphic detail how he did it to himself."

"He even said the date, like March 1st, 1981, or something like that."

"He described in detail cutting through things, and how rubbery it felt."

"Again, not the f*cked up part."

"I thought the story was hilarious because he wrote scrotum so many times, and I was a seventh grader."

"Well, I spread the story around to my friends."

"It eventually spread to a parent, that shared it with the school."

"His wife who was also a teacher there, promptly quit."

"Their son who was younger than me, born in the 90's, also left the school."

"He kept his job."

"What I figured out much later was that his wife had cheated on him and had gotten pregnant, but pretended like it was his."

"The f*cked up part is that he obviously knew she cheated, but never told her."

"He had raised the boy as his own son."

"Once she realized he was sterile, and he's known the entire time, she left him and took the kid."

"Had I not shared that story, that kid could have lived his entire life without knowing, and that family could have stayed together."- fredsam25

The Things People Do For Money

"I was sledding with a friend and saw smoke on the horizon."

'His mom came and picked us up."

"It was my 3rd-floor apartment on fire with my mom and grandma (and others) outside in the cold."

"Everyone got out safely, but we couldn't find our cat (until later)."

"My computer and Star Wars collection among so many other things were destroyed."

"We still have the photos."

"Found out later, unknown to her, my mom's BF owned the building and had the dumb a$ manager wack a pipe so he could get the insurance $$."

"My mother has been somewhat of a hoarder since."- determinedforce

Not Trusting Others Cause No One Could Trust Him...

"My parents divorced when I was 3 because my father got another woman pregnant."

"When I was 6, my father took me and my two older sisters (10 and 15 at the time) to 'donate blood'."

"Decades later I’m talking to my mom about it and she reveals it was a paternity test, as my father didn’t believe I was his daughter."

"Test proved I was in fact his."

"Probably should have realized sooner that a 6 is a bit young to be donating blood."- miss-quiche-lorraine·

Some might say these poor people would be better off if they didn't know the truth.

But facing the truth and confronting our demons is sometimes the only way we can move on with our lives.

Even if the memories will never stop haunting us.


Paramedics load a patient into an ambulance
Photo by Mat Napo

Everyone is a bit leery of hospitals.

Even people who have to work there would rather be somewhere else most of the time.

But sometimes, a trip to the hospital is unavoidable.

More specifically, a trip to the ER.

We humans can really get ourselves into some ridiculous health-related situations.

All you can do is try to laugh about it.

And be grateful you lived so you can tell the silly story.

Redditor lugulaga wanted everyone to fess about the times their ER visits were more embarrassing than painful, so they asked:

"What is the stupidest reason you went to the hospital?"

I do my best to stay away from the ER.

I'll even suffer in silence.

Especially if I'm being an idiot.

Intractable

Giphy

"Hiccups that lasted 24 hrs, stopped right when the doctor stepped in the room. Lol."

stargill70

"I’ve seen this a lot. Had a guy last Monday. 'Intractable hiccups.' Fun note: we use Thorazine to treat it. As in the anti-psychotic."

W6RJC

Down the Hatch

"Not me but I had to pick up a mate who swallowed a 50c piece to win a $2 bet. If you don't know, an Australian 50c is quite large. They had to do an endoscopy to get it out. They let him keep the black corroded coin too."

honest-aussie

"My son did this but with an American 25¢ quarter. He had it in his mouth but inhaled it. It was stuck sideways in his airway so luckily he could breathe. They had to put him under and got it out via endoscopy."

"He spent 9 hours with it in his airway and hardly spoke at all. That is the quietest he has ever been since he learned to speak. He was about 9 when this happened, he is autistic, though very high functioning, and was sensory seeking which is why it was in his mouth."

kaismama

While I Sleep

"A bat landed on my head while I was asleep. Rabies shots all around!"

olda**hit

"Ugh, my child had a 'mystery bite' from daycare that we ignored until it started looking infected. Doctors asking about animals and specifying bats-- reminds me that LAST YEAR the daycare had bats removed that were living in the roof but had no sighting since then."

But I said it. So they had to do the rabies shots, including IGG injected directly into the infected bite... on a 2-year-old. Most traumatizing experience of my life... thank goodness she doesn't remember!"

overweightthrowaway3

A Hard WInd

"My husband went because he was in extreme pain and thought he was having a heart attack. Turns out it was wind. He just needed a good fart."

blueboatsky

"I took my 1-week-old son to urgent care because he had abdominal pain for hours and hours. He cried in the waiting room for a couple more hours, then farted three times and immediately fell asleep."

"They called us in about 10 minutes after that. The doctor said, "As long as you guys are here, let's see how he's doing" and gave him the standard well-baby check. I thought that was nice."

EvadingDoom

Not the Thumb

big bang theory paper cut GIFGiphy

"When I was 8 I was bored so I got a bottle of Gatorade from my pantry and grabbed a kitchen knife then proceeded to stab it over the sink to see how easily the knife would go through the thicker plastic of the bottle… almost lost my thumb."

New_Moon_Lotus

Kids and kitchen knives, a most deadly combination.

Merry Nothing

Freak Out Running GIF by TLCGiphy

"Christmas Day, I dislocated my knee attempting to kick my brother during a sparring match. Needless to say, my martial arts career was over."

IDontThereforeIAmNot

Broken

"I was at a house party, all the bathrooms were full. Went outside, and decided I should crawl under the porch to pee. Everything went well until I tripped on the way out and rolled my ankle. Shrugged it off, limped back upstairs and someone said 'Your ankle is broken.' Sure enough, bone sticking out. DD took me to the hospital and got me ice cream on the way home. I miss you, Kyle. You're the best."

Ubermassive

Knobbed

"Butt cheek injuries caused by a door. I hate touching door knobs with my hands and always use my forearm to rub against the doorknob in a downward motion using friction to turn the knob. Was joking around with my gf saying I can open a door with my buttcheek exactly like how I use my forearm. Jumped at the door butt first and the little metal thing that guides the door cut my buttcheek (I think they call it strike plate or latch strike)."

"The cut wasn’t a clean cut because the thing wasn’t that sharp. 30+ stitches."

"After that, she had to stand behind me holding a bowl to cover my wound every time I take a shower so it doesn’t get wet, and we live in a hot country so she has to do that twice a day for like a month."

Normal-Focus9248

We did Nothing...

"I’m an ER doctor. About once a year I see a very nice young female who comes to the ER with three or four family members because her fingers are blue. They have always googled all sorts of fancy and exotic diseases that they are worried about. 100% of the time the patient has brand-new blue jeans on."

"Without saying a word I just grab an alcohol swab and wipe the blue dye off of their hands, and then I do the same thing to their jeans to show them it’s the same color. The collective sigh from the family is always what does it for me. Not surprisingly, half the time the patient doesn’t believe me and is angry that 'we did nothing.'"

Dan-z-man

All Sewed Up

Tongue Out GIF by MOODMANGiphy

"When I was about 3, I was running up the stairs in my house and fell. I hit my chin on a step and bit my tongue nearly off. My parents took me to the local hospital where they sewed up the gash in my tongue without anesthetic. I still remember it to this day."

Salty_Fixer

I feel faint after reading all this.

Thank the Lord no one brought up any eye issues.

I'd be on the floor.