The cruel reality of life is our looming expiration dates as we age like fine wine.
But now that we've acknowledged a hopefully much-delayed inevitable, it's easy to make the most of our time on this planet and fill it with joy and as much gut-busting fits of laughter.
That meanas not dwelling on the little things that drive us crazy. Because ultimately, are they ever really that bad?
Probably not. We don't have time for that.
"What sh*t are you getting too old for?"
These Redditors talk about protecting their physical temple, since it's the only one we've got.
Blocking Harmful Rays
"Not wearing sunscreen. Just had my 1st melanoma cut out of my arm. Wear sunscreen kids."
Catching More Zzz's
"Staying up past my bedtime."
"Agreed. I'm currently up past my bedtime and I know I'm gonna regret it.. yet here I am."
These people have become less concerned about nonsense behaviors.
You Do You
"I'm too old to give a damn whether people think my pastimes are ridiculous."
Making Excuses
"BS excuses. Stop trying to make up elaborate, unbelievable stories. Just tell me you forgot, or you overslept, or whatever. It's fine. I get it. But don't expect me to believe your convoluted, half-@ss ramblings. Grow up and own your shortcomings."
Owning The Inner Nerd
"I love that the older I get, the deeper I steep into this pool of 'self.' I used to be deeply secretive of everything I was interested in because it could be seen as 'nerdy' and didn't jive with my 'outer persona'...but now at 31 with a kid of my own, I'm like who gives a f'k? If someone actually cares and thinks I'm a nerd for studying history in my spare time, then bye..? My opinion of you plummeted and I no longer want you in my vicinity."
"I really wish I could instill this in my daughter too, but I know it's not something you can really teach. You have to live through it and come to the conclusion yourself...whenever that may be."
Getting Territorial
"These kids on my damn lawn!"
"OMG spot on. I just moved into a new home a month ago. My lawn is dead because the previous owners had moved out months prior and no one watered, so the lawn looks terrible"
"Three neighborhood kids come running down the street playing a game, running through lawns and all, innocent, not destroying anything - and I about lost my shit. 'GET OFF MY LAWN' I yelled out the window. Then immediately felt guilty and old LOL"
"I'm only 40 btw."
A person wasting time beating around the bush to convey their thoughts was considered a huge time suck.
Saying What You Mean To Say
"Playing 'interpret the text message' with people I am dating. I am going to accept what you are saying at face value, and if your actions don't match, I will likely call you on it and flat out ask what's up. We're not teenagers anymore, and I left teenage angst behind long ago!"
Mature Enough To Handle Rejection
"Best part of being an adult. You can cut the bullsh*t."
"With the last girl I dated before I met my wife, I had a sense that her heart really wasn't in it. So I just straight up asked her if that was the case."
'Are you invested in this relationship at all? I won't be angry with your answer, I just need to know if I'm gonna keep making an effort.'
'Honestly, no. You're a great guy but I'm just not feeling it.'
'Good to know. It's been fun, thanks for being honest.'
"Life's too f'king short to jerk people around, or allow it to happen to you."
No Time For Decoding Texts
"When my wife and I first got together I had to explain it to her I have no interest in deciphering anything, just tell me exactly what you want and we'll be good. One of the reasons my ex and I are not together was that I got real tired of 'I know I sent you these exact words, but what I REALLY meant was (something different entirely) AND YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT!'"
Throughout my early adulthood, I've always avoided confrontation.
I've hated it. I always thought if something bothered me enough, the annoyance over something or beef I have with someone would dissipate. But it doesn't. Not for me anyway.
My pent-up resentment was crippling and I've blown up at inappropriate moments when I could've addressed my issues earlier when the collateral damage would've been more minimal.
I speak up more now, and it's no longer something I cower over. The results have been more positive than I ever imagined.
"What is the worst thing about being left-handed?"
Take Your Pick...But Mainly Scissors...
"The smudging is annoying."
"The right-handed desks suck."
"But it’s scissors, man."
"F*cking scissors."- Icy_Mortgage6654
Sucks The Joy Out Of Morning Coffee
"All the cute designs on mugs are only visible for right handed people."- jdon93
Baking Complications
"Measuring cup labels are on the other side when I use my left hand."- maninthemoonpie
Great British Baking Show GIF by PBSGiphyGood Penmanship Is Futile
"Fountain pens, and pencils."
"F*cking hate smudges."- deanfranz12
"When you write, you have to put your whole arm on the paper because you are actively pushing it."
"Whereas right handed people just have to apply a little force not to pull the paper."- iStealP
To Assume Makes An A** Out Of You And Me...
"When someone tries to teach you how to play guitar, line up a pool cue, shoot a bow and arrow, and they can’t because you’re left-handed."- aeowyn7
Dougie Payne Guitar GIF by TravisGiphyAt Least Some Progress Has Been Made...
"My grandad was left-handed."
"He went to a catholic school, this was in the 1930s/early 1940s UK, and the nuns would tie his left hand behind him and hit him until he wrote with his right hand."
"They said that it was a ‘sign of the devil’ if someone was left-handed."
"So cruel."- miz_moon
Might As Well Be Dying...
"Hearing the following words:"
"'Ohhh you're left handed!'"
"It becomes grating after the 1000th time of hearing it."- redbutterfly_78
In All Seriousness, It's Worse Than You Think...
"Left handed people aren't taught how to write as lefties, they are taught as if they are right handed."
"Pens tips are designed for right handed people, especially ballpoint and fountain pens."
"But even others work less efficiently for lefties."
"This is because we have to push the pen across the page, whereas they are pulling it."
"This causes frequent breaks in pencil tips, catching of nibs, and this ink/graphite will be rubbed against the lefties' hands, often ruining their writing."
"In addition, this pushing motion means there is pressure going into the hand of the lefty, trying to push the pen into their grip."
"As a result, they have to squeeze tightly."
"This reduces control of the pen, leading to bad handwriting and pain after even short periods."
"I know doing exams was awful for the lefties."
"Handwriting is for right handed people."
"Pretty obvious, you are taught a way to move your hand to get the shapes of letters, but lefties aren't taught the opposite."
"They are just left to figure it out, but these kids don't know what they are doing wrong."
"A lack of equipment for lefties, whether it is left handed scissors or desks or sharpeners."
"It may seem trivial, but these little things can make a leftie feel weird or like their can't figure out even the tiny little things that everyone else is getting so quickly."
"The effects:"
"This is a cause of lefties craning their wrists round so that they don't smudge and get a better pulling motion."
"As well as craning wrists, some may lean round, or massively rotate their page just so it isn't in the way, but no one taught them these solutions."
"Bad handwriting."
"Lack of confidence, which affects schoolwork and how the kid see his/herself."
"It may be the kid simply can't do what their classmates can do, despite trying his/her hardest."
"Uncomfortable positions causing pain in the neck, back and wrist."
"There are some, very small, organizations that have developed ways to properly teach left handed children how to sit and write comfortably."
"It usually involves angling the page slightly, but clockwise, whereas most lefties angle it anti-clockwise."
"I'd gladly volunteer my time to teach left-handed kids how to write."- untakenu
Left-handed people have to take the good and the bad much more than right-handed people.
However, considering Mark Twain, Albert Einstein and Ruth Bader Ginsburg were all left-handed, it seems that it's easy to make the most of the disadvantage.
"Who is the best sitcom character of all time?"
The Dad We All Wish We Had
"Hal from 'Malcolm in the Middle'."- TerriblyAverage1
malcolm in the middle ifc GIFGiphySomeone Get That Lady a Vodka Rocks... Or A Piece Of Toast...
"Lucille Bluth."
"She stole every scene she was in, which is both a testament to how well the character was written and Jessica Walter’s performance."- PobBrobert
"It's Always Sunny" When They're Around.
"Charlie Kelly!"- SuperDuperCatman
"Frank Reynolds."- Pumpkin-tits-NYC
it's always sunny sunnyfxx GIF by It's Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaGiphy"But He Already Did Something Today"...
"Titus Andromedon from 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt'."- cherry_blsm00
Especially When He Makes A "huge mistake"...
"Gob Bluth."- BrushGoodDar
Threatening Our Grasp On Reality
"Creed."
"Proof that less is more."
“'Somebody making soup?'”- AussieDuckMan
creed bratton television GIFGiphyThe Boss Of Our Dreams
"Captain Holt"- Cabbiecar1001
If Only For His Hair!
"Maurice Moss, 'IT Crowd'."- SalsaYogurt
One Only Hopes Our Future Will Involve Him
"Bender B. Rodriguez."
"Remember that scene in Kill Bill where Bill says Clark Kent is Superman's impression of humans?"
"Clark had to act like all the other humans in order to blend into human society."
"Now apply that logic to Bender."
"He was made by humans to be able to function and relate to people in a human world."
"The humans made him in their own image and he's the most self-centered, amoral, insecure, emotional train wreck on Earth."
"He is what we secretly fear about our own nature."- blakethegr8
swag futurama GIFGiphyOne could say it's their questionable grasp of reality that makes sitcoms so enjoyable.
If Will Truman were a real-life New York attorney, there's no way he would have been chronically single for seven years.
Far-fetched as some of their premises may be, however, our favorite sitcom characters can almost be viewed as the friends who never disappoint us.
As they're always guaranteed to make us laugh and put a smile on our faces.
Even when they break our hearts.
Seriously, how could Nathan do that to Ted Lasso?!?!?!
