The Best Questions To Ask Before You Start Dating Someone
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I DoShocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
"Are you married?"
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Room TemperatureFrosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
DiscoveryBlown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy
"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
EssentialsTell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy
"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user pretty_monotonous asked: 'Would you still use reddit if it had the anonymity aspect taken away? Why or why not?'
Social media platforms like Reddit allow users to comment on strangers' posts under the convenience of anonymity.
While a majority of the comments people leave can be insightful or encouraging, there are unfortunately many trolls who recklessly leave hurtful comments and do so while being cognizant that there are no real consequences for such bullish behavior.
This led Redditor pretty_monotonous to ask an interesting hypothetical about what would happen if a certain Reddit feature became obsolete.
"Would you still use reddit if it had the anonymity aspect taken away? Why or why not?"
Some come to be entertained.
"I'd lurk and read, but I wouldn't post."
"Basically how I've been using reddit for years! I have a hard time even making the simplest comments without thinking somehow this sh*ts gonna backfire on me somehow."
"I love this ! I’m currently on a social media detox and I thought I was stupid for still using Reddit but I need some exposure to social media I can’t just completely cut it out, but this made me feel better thanks stranger."
"Same for me. When I come here I can be fully transparent, and read others stories without making comparisons and going down the rabbit hole that usually leaves me feeling anxious and not good enough."
It's a hard no.
"Nope. I removed myself from every platform that had that because I was constantly comparing myself to other real people, wishing I had what they had, and it was not healthy for me. Here, I have no clue who any of you are, and it's been an incredibly healthy shift while still allowing some exposure to social media."
Permission To Be Rude
"No. Not because anonymity gives me the opportunity to be rude to people (I try to be as polite here as in real life), but because anonymity gives me the opportunity to talk about things freely that I wouldn't talk about if my actual name was attached to it."
"I have no desire for family members or employers to search my name and stumble across me sharing an embarrassing story, or having a not-so-mainstream opinion, or fangirling over my favorite tv character or whatever other niche interests I might have. Not to mention the risk of being stalked by people you try to avoid."
Giving Up On The Internet
"Hell no, I'd immediately stop using nearly every website I frequent if the anonymity was gone."
"One reason amongst the multitude of reasons, is that I don’t want the sh*t I say on the internet interfering with my job. I don’t want to get fired over a controversial opinion or over the language I use, such as simple words like f'k or sh*t. I’d have to overly censor myself, and the point of being anonymous is that I don’t have to do that."
"Probably not. I don't want to broadcast my identity for security reasons. I think that is often forgotten about when people go rabid over online anonymity."
"If a criminal/hostile state actor can make connections of when/where/what you post, it opens up a lot of scary possibilities."
For some, it's just a space for casual interaction.
Difference With Facebook
"This is one of the things that I really enjoy reddit for vs. Facebook. I can have indepth discussions, arguments, and debates with people who have no clue who I am, nor do I know them. I've really limited what I'll comment on Facebook out of the realization that any one I'm friends with could see that."
"I might possibly still use it."
"But I won't express myself honestly anymore."
"Anonymity is one of absolutely essential things to assure honest and open debate. When you can be hounded and publicly punished for having an opinion different than that of the majority, you can not have free and fair debate."
"The same reason I don't post or comment on FB or Insta etc, I don't want people I know to read my opinions on anything. I'm a private person and It's none of their business."
"I like to be argumentative and have various opinions on topics that many people on my 'friends list' wouldn't necessarily appreciate."
"I'm also dead against the 'look at me' type of posting you see on other platforms; e.g. 'okay this time I'm done' without any explanation."
"In closing: I don't want to live my online life under the lense of people I know IRL."
I would have no problem continuing to use any social media platform to comment on a topic with my authentic take on the subject at hand.
Because why on earth would anyone willfully make the original poster feel bad while they know exactly who is making negative remarks?
Many say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it."
Yet, that doesn't seem to stop people who have nothing better to do but elevate themselves by taking total strangers down.
Life's short, people. Let's be kind. It's not that hard.
When intending to show a woman how much she means to you, giving her flowers is a fairly common solution.
When trying to do the same for men, however, what to give them is a bit more challenging.
True, plenty of men will be overjoyed to get a bouquet of bright red roses or pink and yellow tulips.
Unfortunately, there are still far too many men who are too insecure with their masculinity to be caught dead holding a single rose, let alone a bouquet.
Leaving one to wonder, what is an appropriate substitution?
"What’s the gifting equivalent of flowers for a dude?"
Nothing Says Love Like Home-Baked Goods...
"Fresh baked cookies or brownies."- zazzlekdazzle
"It's a traditional romantic gift from the opposite sex that can also be given as condolence or congratulation."
"In every scenario where a girl might get given flowers, a guy might get given baked goods."- Efficient_Star_1336
Please Their Ego, And You'll Be Fine...
"Maaaan, just some appreciation and maybe a compliment."- Far_Kangaroo_8111
"I’m a simple man and don’t usually like being gifted anything."
"But a hug and heartfelt compliment or kiss from a SO goes a long way."- Fenix_Fire66White Lotus Flirting GIF by HBOGiphy
No Need To Shop, Just Look At The Ground
"A cool rock."- simonearth
"My best mate would be over the moon if I found a cool rock and gave it to him."- NotoriousJAM
More Precious Than You Think...
"A 10mm socket."- speedyhemi
"There are only 1000 10mm sockets in the world and they move around, so if you can’t find yours it means that someone else is using it right now."- unbearablebastard
Nothing Better Than A Warm Embrace
"Hug works for me."- randymysteriesSeason 9 Hug GIF by The OfficeGiphy
Something To Eat, Not Just See And Smell
"Lots of guys on here saying flowers."
"Sure, some guys might want flowers, but don’t let this convince you that all guys secretly want someone to give them flowers."
"I’m a 38 year old guy."
"I don’t want flowers."
"I don’t want to find a vase for them."
"I don’t want to clean up when they wilt and the petals fall off."
"I don’t want you to waste your money on them."
"Don’t get me flowers."
"Get me something I can eat or drink instead."
"Hot meal?"- kurainikuraini
"A home cooked meal!"- Popular-Ad2193Korean Drama Cooking GIF by The SwoonGiphy
"Everything Is Awesome"...
"A Lego set."- dysFUNctional_kitty
"I don’t drink alcohol or like flowers, but there is always room for one more Lego set on my shelf."- DelusionalPianist
And NOT Well-Done...
"A pack of ribeyes."- fishstock
"I have rarely loved my wife as much as when she came home with a barbecue kit."
"She told me I didn’t treat myself often enough."
"So she got a couple of beers."
"Went to the butcher for a couple of burgers and a steak."
"All I had to do was turn on the grill and sit back."- mirage2101
Still In The Botanical Family...
"I love flowers, but like, bring me the whole plant."
"The flowers will die in a few days."- PVDeviant-Little Shop Of Horrors GIF by MauditGiphy
Seems Fairly Obvious
"A six-pack is always a nice gesture."- Excellent-Practice·
Just Make Sure You Get The Right Kind And Sauces!
"Chicken wings"- wm_destroy
"Plus Ranch or Blue Cheese (depending on preference)."- RatherDashingf11
Just Don't Expect To Ever Hear From Him Again...
"RTX 4090."- Jetzve
"The only right answer."- _Revlak_Video Games Gamer GIFGiphy
It should perhaps be mentioned that not all women love getting flowers either.
Pollen is a notoriously bad allergy.
However, no matter the gender of the recipient, any gift to show how much you appreciate them should be met with gratitude.
After all, it's the gesture that counts.
Though, it shouldn't come as a surprise that some people will be even more visibly grateful to receive a gorgeous Wagyu rib-eye than they would a bouquet of daffodils...
CW: Assault and abuse.
Everyone loves a good true crime mystery.
The number of documentaries and podcasts reporting on murder and mass madness has tripled over the years.
People still make Dateline NBC, 20/20, and 48 Hours must-see TV.
Some cases should be too brutal to watch.
Yet we can't help ourselves.
We just can't seem to get enough.
Redditor Electrical-Lemon187 wanted to discuss the true-life horror stories that keep us all awake at night, so they asked:
"What crime was so brutal you get chills just thinking about it?"
The following piece may be too much for some people.
The details are definitely NC-17.
"The murder of James Bulger, an English 2-year-old abducted, tortured, and murdered in 1993 by two 10-year-old boys. I can't get that sh*t out of my head."
"I remember this popping up on Reddit again some point after I had my little boy. He was almost 3 at the time, and I couldn’t sleep that night imagining that happening to my little guy. That and Albert fish, I was so f**ked after hearing the full morbid podcast on it I hugged my son an obscene amount of times that day."
Who are they?
"Really, really upset me more than a lot of others for some reason."
"Although it is almost certain that the murderer(s) can no longer be identified, all authors of the report [2007, very detailed] independently agreed on who the main suspect in the case was. However, his name was not mentioned out of consideration for his descendants. I don’t know how I feel about that choice."
"The David Parker Ray's murders. The transcript of the tape he played for his victims was one of the hardest things I've ever read."
"The worst part (in my opinion) is that on the FBI’s website, they have pages and pages of pictures of his trophies. Hundreds of photos of items that they believe belonged to women he tortured."
"None of the photos are of gore just items like pins and earrings. FBI’s photos It pains me that each of those items belong to someone who suffered the unimaginable. There is a large amount of Native American-made jewelry, Harley Davidson memorabilia, and even a medical alert bracelet."
"Not the most brutal I've heard of, but one that affected my parents heavily. In Pennsylvania 20ish years ago, a man had his head blown off on live TV. 2 bank robbers put an explosive collar on a friend's neck, then made him rob a bank or they'd blow him up."
"Police catch and begin to arrest him, but he warns police about the bomb. Police wait for a bomb squad/orders on what to do, and reporters show up and start recording. Then the 2 robbers see their 'friend' on the news, and hit the detonator before he gives them away."
One Dark Night
"Susan Powell and her children destroy me. Her husband axed the two boys and set the house on fire and they all died. Susan had gone missing a year(s?) earlier and it’s just figured at this point the husband did it but her body was never found. Horrific."
"Agreed. This makes me sick to my stomach."
"Physically ill. We all know what he did to his wife and kids but I get sick when I think about the fact they dated. They had everyday interactions. They spent years together. Years of conversations, jokes, intimacy, etc… and for him to brutally murder them all one night? Especially because people knew him as this passive guy. Really f**ks me up."
What is wrong with the world?
How do some people become such monsters?
"Everything surrounding Jonestown. Once as a kid I caught a documentary about it on PBS, just straight over the antennae TV at maybe 8 pm and it was one of the most graphic things I've ever seen on TV."
"I listened to most of the tapes and they are a hard listen. I go wrong with trying to put myself in that place during the whole ordeal of living in Jonestown. The sad, climatic end to life there, as told through the death tape... it's very horrific. What's crazy is that there are still questions surrounding that awful day in November."
"The death tape was edited, notice that it goes from killing the children to Jim Jones announcing that they performed a mass suicide. Morbid curiosity would want me to know what happened during the whole ordeal. Then there's the day after tape, where it sounds like a man and a woman are watching a news report on the murders. Where did that come from and who recorded it? It's very strange and we may never know the answers or the full story."
"The Vegas shooting. It's hard to imagine being in a killing field, I wouldn't know where to hide or run. Stuff like that creeps me the f**k out because nutbags seem to be everywhere."
"I was just in Vegas in March. I smoked some weed for the first time in years because hey it's Vegas and it's legal. I sat in the chair that looked out of my hotel window and could NOT imagine what that would be like."
"When we walked towards Mandalay Bay later on that evening the feeling of dread hit me so hard that my wife and I turned around. Being a little high didn't help but either way, it felt like Vegas was acting like it didn't even happen. So wild."
Take the Bus
"As a New Yorker, I get chills every time I see a story about some crazy person just shoving a random person onto the subway tracks, for no apparent reason. I've seen footage and security camera video, and the person is just standing there, minding their own business, and some psycho just jumps up and shoves them onto the tracks for no reason at all."
"Kids too. and if not for fast-acting well-meaning strangers, these people would have been killed instantly. In one video, the little girl was saved by a whisker. Gives me the creeps that there are psycho's out there that do these sorts of things."
The OG Evil
"I know this is bland, but Ted Bundy, how the hell did he manage to get away with 99% of the murders he committed."
"Just imagine being around back then. He escaped during one of his trials and during the manhunt to find him he murders people. It must've been such a crazy time."
"Absolutely, and the fact he was charming made people think no more of him, and that was one his best perks, the fact he could lure you so easily is what made him such an effective killer."
Ted Bundy will never not be a part of the conversations surrounding the worst of the worst.
This list will kill my sweet dreams forever.
As quickly as the internet and social media came onto the scene, many people can still remember what it was like before the internet was so prevalent, or at least when people were first getting acclimated to it.
Thinking back, they entertained the idea of the internet going away again, and the results were eye-opening.
Redditor Samuelwankenobi_ asked:
"If the internet shut down tomorrow, what do you do?"
Looking for Work
"I would probably have to look for a job."
"Almost all business now depends on the internet, including payment networks, infrastructure, etc..."
Be Kind; Rewind
"Step 1. Make some phone calls."
"Step 2. Open a new form of Blockbuster. People are going to want their movies and shows that they can't stream anymore."
"Step 3. Profit."
"Be f**king p**sed because I have to work in an office again."
Honestly, A Dream
"It would be time to actually 'quit' and get to that plant mom career I’ve been wanting."
Mental Health Quality
"I'd probably see an improvement in my mental health."
Back to Reading
"I'd get a library card."
Reconnect with Nature
"For a nice long bike ride."
"I am 20 and the internet is all I have known. I would be so annoyed, frustrated, and depressed all at the same time but I do think with time my mental health would improve and I would start doing the things I actually want to do."
"I am 50 and miss my internet-free life quite often. Tech and the internet have done a number on my ability to focus, productivity, and social interactions. But I also lack the willpower to simply shut it off."
"Clean my house and do the garden. No wait, my current fixation is an offline game, I'd probably play that and watch some of my 12Tb of shows and movies instead..."
Sounds About Right
"Run like a headless chicken for about three hours and then go clean my room."
We Can Certainly Hope So
"Go back to enjoying life as it's supposed to be."
"Well, I’d try unplugging and it plugging it back in. Will probably fix it."
"There would be no card payments (how do you buy food, gas, medicine,…). Landlines run over the internet where I live so no basic telephones. Communication as we know it would be gone. Would ATMs even work anymore? Things would get really ugly, really fast."
"Nothing would work, some major infrastructures have backups, but for the most part our entire way of life is run through the internet."
"We’d be f**ked if it was out longer than three to five days."
Avoid the Panic
"Hunker down for the next 48 hours. Stay away from public places and try to avoid being killed over a can of soup as the panic spreads. If it comes back on immediately, start using the brief calm to stockpile as much as I can. Within a week the cost of living will skyrocket as companies try to bleed people dry to recoup their losses and pay for the new redundancy systems they are putting into place. If it doesn't come back on after 48 hours; well kiss your @ss goodbye."
Ready to Go
"I am a child of the 80s. I trained for this."
Though being without the internet being gone would be incredibly jarring, those who were old enough to remember a time without such a prominent internet actually welcomed the idea.