Top Stories

Bartenders Share The Weirdest Conversations They've Overheard

Tending bar can be a really rewarding career, leading to uniquely intimate relationships will all sorts of great people. Being behind behind the beer lines also lets you overhear all types of crazy stuff. Sometimes it's like getting paid to watch Jerry Springer, two feet from your face.

Steelerfan345 asked bartenders of Reddit: What is the strangest conversation you've ever overheard because people assume sound doesn't travel over the bar?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


15. Rude.

Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, "Hey look, the bartender's really cute."

Friend: "No he's not!"

Response: "Oh yeah, you're right."

starskys-hutch

Damn dude. That sucks.

I'm sure there's someone that thinks you're cute.

Even if it's just your mom.

breakone9r

14. Is this a good deal? Asking for a friend.

Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I've heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.

Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch.

kba41510

13. Awkward.

Had a husband and wife who were by far the most rude people I've ever encountered, talking with a traveling business man. By the end of the night the business man was propositioning the woman to go back to his hotel room for some money.

prhymetime87

12. People are creatures of habit... poor habits.

Lots and lots of cheaters. It's weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot.

dirtybitsxxx

"Oh, you changed your hair!"

..."and height"...

..."and race"...

ohitsberry

I asked one of my regular offenders about that. It appears that discretion is the most valuable asset to a cheater. So when they find a place that they feel comfortable and the bartender can maintain a straight face when different dates come in, they'll keep going back because it's the "lowest risk" to be discovered. And when I say discovered I don't mean by the main piece but all the various side pieces.

rulkamaniac

11. Hot take.

I've bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. "Look all I'm saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generations perception of how many police helicopters exist." Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.

vierawarrior

That's a fair premise really.

Nyetbyte

10. Talk about inappropriate...

I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely sh*tfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he's Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how sh*t their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I'd be bartending/bar backing with him lol

colourtheera

The exotic Mexican part got me lol

nameisIguanaMisnomer

9. Never trust the angles.

On Valentine's Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn't see the girl, but it was so obvious.

dapinapple

"Here's your drink, aaand one for your date on the house. Happy Valentine's Day!"

Edit: thanks for the silver, I'm all out of jokes

Impybutt

8. Someone's reference prowess is on point.

Randomly overheard two middle aged women:

"As a woman ages she can choose between her face or her assh*le, but she can't choose both."

I have no idea.

TehLewLew

Edit: Just FYI, this was a thing awhile ago when Courtney Cox first started on that show Cougartown because of some press she did that was what I remembered it from to google up this article.

Edit again: this was a thing like 10 years ago. I'm just old so remembered it. I didn't mean to imply that its not outdated now.

STUPIDNEWCOMMENTS

7.This is a real profession and now I feel Iike I'm wasting my life.

I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor. She described her job as being 80% dick pic removal, and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.

mildredthecat

I (a dude) have a very similar, job, and can confirm.

Honestly though, compared to the other things I have to remove, johnson pics are like the best case scenario in my day.

apekillape

So, what are some categories for dicks?

MinionWithEbola69

Hotdog and not hotdog.

MacDegger

6. Well then.

"I hated myself until I discovered masturbation."

Connie_Chungnuts

Just because I make love to myself doesn't mean I love myself.

J_A_N_I_T_O_R

5. What a bro.

Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I've heard. At first the usual "Lemme tell ya, you're a good person. I love you man." Later on (still fairly basic): "F*ck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!"

To finally this gem: "If a tornado were to blow you away... I would fly after you."

IndiEstructibleProd

4. Gurl...

"You won't come home with me because I have a stinky pussy sobsob" - Middle aged woman on a first date at like 7 O'Clock on a Wednesday. The guy was planning on going home with her until that i guess

guitarstix

Now I understand where all the patients presenting to the emergency department with vaginal discharge at 9PM on a Wednesday come from!

MrPBH

3. Ah the butt chug.

"You think they have those straws for sucking drinks in your butt here?"

1whiteguy

Wow. Can't compete with that. Don't even really understand that.

SteelerFan345

Well... did you?

thejeffroc

Butt straws aren't really a thing, you're just supposed to turn a normal straw upside down

1whiteguy

I mean, if you think about it, the human body is just the world's most disgusting crazy straw.

Totally_not_Zool

2. I mean...

Guy: "I think I'm going to need a coke chaser for this one." Girl, presumably SO: "we already did all the coke..." Guy: "Coca Cola, you idiot!"

Not even the most memorable, just the most recent. For sure, a real snapshot into their relationship.

goosebiz

1. This lemon party.

These three middle aged women (alone at the bar) discussing in excruciating detail their sexual fantasies, which seemed to include "sucking off a younger man." I was 22 at the time. They obviously knew I could hear them but it was so awkward. I stood there cutting the hell out of lemons and limes.

Dyslexicfetus

Were you cutting the piths off? That might've been what made them hot and bothered.

Judge_leftshoe

Nahh I think that would have pithed them off.

Dyslexicfetus

Things Poor People Loved Until The Rich Ruined Them For Everyone

Reddit user degreeofvariation asked: 'What was loved by poor people until rich people ruined it?'

fan of 100 U.S. dollar banknotes

Alexander Mils on Unsplash

They say money can't buy happiness, but it seems it can make a lot of other people miserable.

Whether it's the housing crisis or the high cost of living, people are pointing at the 1% to accuse them of ruining things for the 99% in a multitude of ways.

Keep reading...Show less

As consumers, we all know that we're going to buy something at some point that doesn't turn out to be as pretty or be as functional and reliable as the advertisements, supposed testimonials, and commercials lead us to think they will be.

But some products prove to be such a letdown, we might even wonder what this thing was made for in the first place, or who bothered to approve its production.

Redditor Stay-Thirsty asked:

"What product was so poorly designed that you suspect the team that made it never even used the product?"

The Seal on the Baby Wipes

"Baby wipes."

"Hey, you know when a good time to struggle with opening a package that says it has perforations but really doesn't? When you're dealing with poop."

"You want one? Here's a chunk of 20."

"You want a bunch? Here's a tiny ripped corner."

"You have 10 left on a trip and need to conserve? Too bad motherf**ker, here's the rest of the pack. Get your tired a** to CVS."

- Miklay83

Hard-to-Navigate Intersections

"Some road intersections make me wonder if the engineers have actually ever driven a vehicle."

- imdstuf

Not as Easy as Making Mac and Cheese

"The perforated corner of a Kraft Mac and cheese box."

- thebeast1022

"I want to start a guerrilla journalism YouTube that ambushes CEOs and makes them open one of their company’s products, and then asks them, 'Is that the first impression you want your company to make?'"

- Ferrous_Patella

Scheduling in Laundry

"The Bluetooth app connectivity for my washing machine (I didn't really want that feature, but it was a last-minute substitution)."

"If the wash cycle takes longer than the initial estimate, the start time changes rather than the time remaining estimate, so it's never clear how much longer the cycle needs to go."

"Now, I just don't bother with the app."

- dragon2611

Just Trying to Do the Laundry

"My clothes dryer. It has touch controls that are designed in such a way that you pretty much have to guess what you're supposed to touch (nothing visibly looks like a button), and when turned on has an inexplicable 10-or-more-second delay before the touch controls work."

"So then you have to basically poke it all over the place without even knowing if it's the right place to poke or if you simply need to wait for nothing to happen. I mean, that's what I think, at least, but can't be sure since there seriously is no visual indication of anything."

"There's also a numerical display which I assumed was related to the time left until it's done, but I've been using it for almost two years now and I still have no clue what those numbers are meant to indicate. They certainly don't correlate with any time units I'm aware of."

- malsomnus

Feminine Hygiene, Galling Design

"Sanitary pads."

"Especially ones advertised as 'zero bunching,' they most certainly do bunch up! They will go straight up your bum crack. They can only have been designed by someone who doesn't use them to have made that claim."

- ArcadiaRivea

"They’re also so short and not wide enough and never stay. If I wear one and I’m planning to sit, I have to layer two lengthwise and make sure both have wings to fold over the underside. And even then it will somehow shift by one millimeter giving the blood a direct escape route."

- 0techsavvy

No Commitment to Their Own Product

"I’m reminded of this book, 'Disrupted,' I once read by a former tech reporter who claims most of the industry is bulls**t."

"In one of the chapters, he talked about going to the Google headquarters for an event shortly after Google Glass came out. The event was centered around the product and lots of attendees were wearing their pair, but the author noted that not a single Google employee who was hosting the event was wearing Google Glass."

"That’s when he said he knew the product was doomed."

- srstone71

So Appropriate

"All iterations of Skype after Microsoft bought it."

- JoeS830

"Skype for Business."

"Never has a product been less appropriate or ready for business use."

- suivethefirst

Wheelchair Accessibility

"My mom's had three wheelchairs."

"They all suck. The brake lever mechanism invariably interferes with the footrests. On her current one, the brake lever mechanism is curved, so it's pretty good. I think it could still be better."

"I'm surprised they're not better. I definitely feel like given my experience I could design a much better wheelchair than anything on the market under $1,000.00."

- stevejust

Searching for Movies

"Streaming services search engines? You can literally have 10k to 50k things to watch, but there is absolutely no way to do an in-depth search."

"It doesn’t have to be through a mobile app, maybe an online connection through a website. But if I want to find a show that was running in the late 90s and I know it was science fiction, why can’t I do that?"

"So much content I might want to watch but can’t find it."

- Stay-Thirsty

"I can actually answer this one. They don't want you to watch all those old shows you love. They want you to watch one of the hundred new shows in the 'trending now' section that makes them the most money and best supports their interests."

- bird_man_73

Something as Simple as a Trash Can

"My kitchen trash can. It is one sold by Glad specifically for their bigger, extra-strong 20-gallon trash bags. It is not particularly cheap."

"It looks good, but the design of it is what you might expect if you told aliens what a trash can is and they designed one without ever seeing it. How it holds the bag basically causes you to lose four gallons of capacity and have to risk tearing the bag or spilling its contents every time you go to remove it."

"It also has a trash bag holder that is so narrow, you have to feed it trash bags one at a time, completely defeating the point. And if you try to compact the trash a bit, you're almost guaranteed to tear the 'tear-resistant' bag."

"Such a poor design."

- samanime

False Sense of Safety

"My new iron. Has a restart if you tip it over after it’s timed out. So if you accidentally leave it plugged in and it gets knocked over by accident (pet or child bumps the board, the wind knocks something over knocking the iron over) it starts up while face down."

- tangcameo

"That literally defeats the entire purpose of the time-out safety feature..."

- DrSchmolls

"It's a time-in unsafety feature."

- hockey_metal_signal

Needlessly Complicated Software

"Software drivers for basically any HP printer made in the last three decades."

- ThadisJones

"Holy crap, YES! I work in IT and I hate how bloated those stupid drivers are. No, I don't want 'HP Device Experience' or whatever the h**l that is, and I don't want to have to download a 300MB bloated pile of steaming crap when all I need is for Joe Q. Employee to send documents through to the printer on his desk."

"God, I miss the days of those LaserJet 2500s with their universal PCL drivers. So simple. And those were like the Volvo 240 of printers. Freaking TANKS."

- marcfonline

Excellent Waterproofing

"I just bought a waterproof cargo bag for the roof of my car that was fairly expensive."

"The Velcro that keeps the zipper protected was just GLUED ON, not stitched and sealed."

"The very first time I opened the bag all the Velcro came off because the attraction to itself was stronger than the adhesive bond to the vinyl bag."

"It’s like there was absolutely zero product testing, but I’m sure it was 5 cents cheaper to make it glued rather than stitched. How could something like this have ever been allowed to leave the factory?"

- Dustmopper

More Testing Time

"My vacuum cleaner. The hose is mounted at a downward angle and it's impossible to pull it along as you go; it keeps going to the side or even flipping over instead."

"It takes one minute of use to notice this, but I guess they only tested it for 30 seconds."

- DaoNight23

We've all experienced a flop of a product from time to time that was supposed to be really good, but some are so bad, we have to wonder how they were approved in the first place.

It's clear why these Redditors were so upset by the products they shared. From impractical use to unreliability, there's no wonder these consumers were questioning the product's quality check.

Customer at a buffet
Ulysse Pointcheval/Reddit

Diners have their favorite restaurants to go to when they don't feel like preparing dinner at home after a long day at work.

There's something comforting about hitting your go-to dining establishment and greeting familiar faces and favorite entrees.

And while customers are quick to rave about and recommend the restaurants to friends and family, they can be just as passionate about the places they avoid like the plague for various reasons.

Curious to hear about these nightmare establishments, Redditor PuzzleheadedFix8972 asked:

"What restaurants do you refuse to go to and why?"

For most Redditors, buffets are a no-go.

A Customer's Touch

"Golden Corral. Walked into one once in Florida. A small kid walking past the food bar was putting his hand in every tray he passed. Out we go."

– Ardothbey

"I am mildly surprised Golden Corral wasn't a victim of the pandemic. Like who on earth would eat there from March 2020 on?"

– Robbylution

The Buffet Worker

"I knew a girl who worked at a buffet. On busy days they would have an employee hover looking for gross people. People using the serving spoon to take a little taste to see if they like it, grab food try it and don't like it and put it back, fingers in pudding all kinds of nasty sh*t. I don't eat at them anymore."

– Yaniji1923

Pro Tip

"Go right when they first open. Actually, show up before they open and be the first one in, that’s about as close to safe as you can be."

– YoghurtSnodgrass

Chain restaurants are not any better according to these folks.

Boo To Applebee's

"Applebee’s - was a fry cook there."

– Jfonzy

"Was a server there. What a temple to mediocrity."

– budda_belly

"Applebee's - when I'm too lazy to use my own microwave."

– FlattenInnertube

Fallen Quality

"Panera Bread, extremely overpriced, bland food."

– wyoflyboy68

"Thing is it used to be really good. Then they got bought by a VC and did a speed run into serving the cheapest, food-like meals ever to squeeze as much margin as possible out of the place."

"It’s like that scene in The Founder when his future wife convinced Ray Kroc to sell powdered milkshakes instead of the real deal. The VC that bought Panera did that with the entire menu."

– Doctor_Kat

People Don't Go For The Food

"Hooters. Waiting 45 minutes for a hamburger and baked beans and then immediately having diarrhea doesn't do anything for me."

– bravesgeek

"It's because they put all of their effort into the gimmick of "HoT wOmAn!!!" instead of serving actually good food."

– AverageFurryFemboy

Fake Italian

"Olive Garden."

"They know why."

– liltrixxy

"My friend’s mom is a little old lady from Sicily and her favorite restaurant is Olive Garden."

"Totally not joking."

– YinzaJagoff

"Because it's a loud place were everytime you clean your plate someone comes out and puts more on it just like any Italian dinner."

– Zkenny13

"They All Suck"

"Noodle & Company and Chili’s I honestly don’t know what I am supposed to order in either of these restaurants. They got so many things and they all suck."

"Oh and Pizza Hut because their pizza sucks."

– Soup_and_Rice

It can't get any worse than some fast food joints.

Do They Do Chicken Right?

"KFC. I dont know why but I get sick an hour later every time."

"Churches doesn't do this."

"Popeyes doesn't do this."

– Wolfman01a

"I went to KFC once and i took ONE bite of the chicken and literal blood was coming out. Ordered another one. SAME THING. Ordered another one! Guess what.. SAME THING. Never going to KFC ever again."

– Reddit

Bad Reputations

"Subway - because of food poisoning & there are better sub places in our town."

"Golden Corral - food has always been subpar & I always felt sick after leaving…and not due to overeating."

– amyria

"This is also my two for the same reasons. I got food poisoned by subway twice in a row 20 years ago. Never been back, never will be back."

"Golden corral is so bad. I won't go for any reason. Not even because old great uncle whoever wants to see all the relatives and I'll make him sad if I don't come and get free food. If I wanted to serve people food of that low quality, I could just go to Sam's club and hit the freezer isle. Most of their items are the same processed heat and serve junk."

– Illogical-logical

Have It Your Way

"Will pass on BK. It's always been the participation trophy of fast food."

"Wendy's has gone downhill severely, especially the wait times (I might be overly critical because I worked there one summer)."

– zoinks690

Panda Express used to be my favorite default mall food court choice.

Until I got sick from their beef broccoli once and felt bloated for hours. I realized that with age, my body wasn't able to break down everything I was consuming there.

As a teenage patron everything there used to be so flavorful.

But then my tastes changed after I found out why eating there is the worst thing for your body.

Their highly-caloric dishes are also known to be extremely high in sodium, which if eaten frequently can lead to all sorts of health issues–including obesity and heart disease.

Buh-bye, P.E.

Silhouette of a man anda woman having an argument
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Having a best friend doesn't always mean we see eye to eye with them.

Indeed, every now and again we find ourselves having a possibly fundamental difference with them.

Sometimes, we can let these differences and disagreements go with a deep breath, other times, letting things slide isn't so easy.

In the most extreme cases, it could even lead to the first person we call when we're feeling down being cut from our life completely.

Redditor No_Dependent4663 was curious to hear from people who cut ties with their best friend, and what led them to do it, asking:

"People who fell out with their best/close friend, what killed it?"

Wasn't There When They Needed Them...

"Friends for 20 years."

"Helped her with rides, money, cloths ect."

"The first time I asked her for anything was after my husband had brain surgery and needed meds the local pharmacy didn't have."

"I couldn't leave him alone and could not take him with me so I asked her to watch him for an hour."

"She said no she wanted to go to the store with her bf."

"I never talked to her again."

"And thank goodness she didn't have the balls to show up to my husband's funeral."- softshoulder313

Ignoring The Warnings...

"Well it ended but was repaired."

"She got into a relationship with a walking red flag, and I told her as much."

"Things kept getting worse with him until I wasn’t able to watch it anymore."

"Then he convinced her that I was the toxic one and trying to control her so she didn’t want to be friends anymore."

"I said I respected her decision to choose him over me, but please don’t delete my number and to call me when it came time to run."

"She did and she’s out, learned from it, and we’re friends again."- Successful-Snow-562

...Goes Both Ways

"She warned me about my fiancé at the time, now ex-wife, and I didn't listen to her."

"My fiancé didn't like that and told me to pick her or my friend."

"I picked my fiancé and then she eventually cheated on me multiple times including while we had an infant at home."

"Never been more wrong in my life."- thegodfaubel

Ink On Their Face...

"I worked with them."

"They were very lazy and constantly started drama between myself and our coworkers."

"Lost pretty much all the respect I had for them."- AmericanTitan07

Who Knows?

"Nothing at all, and that is the saddest part."

"No big fight, no disagreement, no nothing."

"One day they met their now spouse and suddenly that was it."

"Since then radio silence."- Showfina

"I have no idea, but she stopped responding to texts or reaching out."- wei-ohara

Sensing A Spouse/Partner Theme...

"Best friends for 12 years."

"She was a complete bridezilla."

'Long story short, I was maid of honor and was expected to pay for multiple showers, ended up paying for part of her dress, and was asked to plan/pay for the entire bachelorette trip."

"I was in the process of building a house so I said no to the parties and trip (paying not planning/attending) and was swiftly booted from the wedding."

"Funny part was, the guy had been cheating on her and she knew and told me she was gonna leave him."

"She didn’t."

"She cheated on him back."

"He found out while I was with them, they broke up."

"Couple weeks later I got a call they were engaged."

"So bizarre."- accomplishedswan44

Were They Ever A Friend?

"Realizing that he was a shit friend who saw me as lesser than him, and he used that as justification to try and completely control my life."- yeetgodmcnechass

Lack Of Quid Pro Quo

"I cared more about the relationship than she did."

"I’m not gonna beg anyone to be my friend."- Superkittymeowmeow

Making Life A Competition

"My son was delayed."

"Hers was not."

"Her son was roughly a year younger and there were constant snide comments about how much sooner her son hit milestones than mine did."

"I gave her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she didn't mean it the way it came across and I was just touchy."

"And then she called my 2 year old stupid because he was mostly nonverbal."

"She got told to f*ck off."- TransportationOk4914

Absence Did Not Make The Heart Grow Fonder...

"They moved and stopped putting any effort into the relationship whatsoever."

"I offered to go there, I offered to fly them here (they hadn’t secured work yet) and they never made time."

"They never reached out."

"When I finally wrote and said it seemed apparent they’d lost interest in the relationship and I respected that but needed to move on rather than wait indefinitely, they refused to acknowledge anything had changed, and told me I sounded crazy."

"I asked why I hadn’t heard from them or seen them in a year and a half."

"No response."

"Reality is subjective, as they say."- testcase_sincere

Couldn't Meet Their Standards...

"She literally turned into her mother, only caring about appearances."

"At 23."

"I couldn’t take the judgment anymore."- Obi1NotWan

Wanted To Be More Than Friends

"We were best friends in high school."

"I moved in with him in 2015 because I needed a place to stay, and his father offered to let me rent out a spare bedroom for super cheap."

"Within five months, my friend made a romantic/sexual pass at me."

"I was not interested."

"I left that night and have never looked back."- allycatraz

They say to err is human, to forgive is divine.

But sometimes, the only way to forgive someone who hurt or betrayed you more than you thought was possible, is to let go, and move on.