Bartenders Reveal The Wildest Things Drunk Patrons Have Ever Admitted To Them
Bartenders Reveal The Wildest Things Drunk Patrons Have Ever Admitted To Them
[rebelmouse-image 18346455 is_animated_gif=*Bartending is a tough gig. Aside from the physical hardships there is the emotional. Everyone sees you as their best friend, confidante and therapist half the time. Why? Because they hold the keys the liquor! You know we all get a little crazy and a lot truthful once we've had a libation or six. *
Redditor **manaustinreached out to the bartenders of Reddit asking... *Bartenders of reddit, what are some of the things drunk people have told you while completely hammered? *Careful of those inner secrets people. Maybe that last shot isn't a great idea.**
WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?
I used to work in a bar across from a large hospital. I had one guy spend a lot of time in the bar while his wife was in the hospital across the street having a difficult childbirth. He told me my martinis were the best and promised to name his child after me. I of course dismissed this as the drunken ramblings of a madman.
Came in a couple weeks later and showed me the birth certificate of his daughter. She had four middle names, one of which was a feminised version of mine.
To this day I'm kicking myself for not asking who the other three were named after. I wonder if any of them were other bartenders...
MAYBE JUST LIVE TOGETHER FIRST.
[rebelmouse-image 18346456 is_animated_gif=One guy told me his girlfriend wanted them to get married. He was asking me if I thought it was a good idea even though this was the first time I'd ever met him. I told him if he's asking a stranger if they think it's a good idea for him to get married then it's probably not a good idea.
ONE, TWO FREDDY'S COMING FOR YOU....
[rebelmouse-image 18346457 is_animated_gif=Had a regular get drunk and recount a dream he had once about Freddy Krueger.
Several years later, I'm having a conversation with someone about dreams in that same bar. He just happened to be sitting next to the customer I was chatting with, fairly drunk and idly listening to our conversation so I decided to try it...
"This one time I had a dream that I was being chased down the street by Freddy Krueger, then while he was chasing me he grew really big and would cup his hands over the sun. He would do it really fast and there was this crazy strobe effect."
This was nearly exactly how he had originally told it to me. About halfway into the story I noticed him look up. By the end of it, he was standing, tears in his eyes, scared to death that we had the same Freddy dream, yelling "No way dude! No way! Are you serious? Are you with me right now?"
"Yeah dude, I'm messing with you. You told me that story a few years ago and forgot."
I had him going though.
The story pretty much ends there. We had a good laugh. He let the relief wash over him. I think he might have said "good one" at some point. I might have told him there's no such thing as Freddy at some point.
LET ME GET MY CRYSTAL BALL.
[rebelmouse-image 18345775 is_animated_gif=My dad was drinking at a bar and talking to the owner (who was really drunk) and the owner was telling my dad his plans for the future. Just basic stuff like how he wanted to move to Arizona and open a bar there, etc.
Anyway a few months later my father was in the same bar and there was a psychic there reading fortunes and shit. My dad declined to have his fortune read saying that he didn't want to because he was a psychic himself. So he proceeded to recount all the owners future plans back to him. The owner was shocked and agreed that everything my dad said was true. The psychic gazed deep into my fathers eyes and after a few seconds proclaimed "You have the gift." My dad didn't reveal his method and probably milked it for a few free beers.
I REMEMBER YOU FROM MY PREVIOUS LIFE.
[rebelmouse-image 18346458 is_animated_gif=My favorite was a regular who came up to the bar for a glass of red wine. At this point he was not yet a regular, it was his first time here. I poured the elderly man a nice glass of pinot noir, told him a little about the wine and the history of the building the bar is in (built in 1604!) cause he seemed interested in it. He was.
We chat a little and he is overall a pleasant, but quirky, old man. At one point he looks at me and says _"You must know, I have a gift. I can read people's past. Not their current past, but previous lives. I can't do it with everyone, but I am getting strong signals from your past. Would you like to know yours?" _We're now joined by another regular of mine, a girl I was actually trying to get with at the time, but the saaaadly never happend.
I pour the man another glass, pour myself one too because this is about to get good. He tells me what he sees and feels in my past lives. There is one live he can see very clearly, but it's a bit shocking he says. I tell him to go on. The girl is asking all kind off "in your face" questions, she's being a little annoying honestly. The old man ignores them or answers them if she can and tells me about this previous life I lived. He tells me I was an Irish boy (I have a big red beard, go figure!) and that my family and I feld Ireland during the famine. We got on a boat to new york, my mom died on the boat and I joined a gang in new york. I eventually die in a gang fight with a rival gang. Sounds familiar, right? Well, when the man went to the bathroom I checked and indeed, "Gangs of New York" was on cable the night before.
The man comes back and the girl and I play along. He tells me some more details about the movie, I mean, my previous life. I go along with his until he stops talking about it. Then the girl turns to him and asks "And me? Can you see my previous life?" He looks at her, takes a sip of his wine and says "Yes. Yes, you were a monkey".
CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET...
[rebelmouse-image 18977522 is_animated_gif=I once had a military guy, probably about 26 who was a regular at the bar I worked at last year. He would come in alone to chat with my coworker and I and seemed pretty lonely; this bar was in a smaller town with not a great scene or much military presence. Anyway one slow night he comes in right before I am about to close and asks me for a whiskey sour. I make it for him but before I can even give it to him he looks up at me with the saddest face and says "I have something to confess. I take steroids." I was pretty speechless so I said "uh, at least it isn't heroin?" And on the next breath he goes_"I take them up my butt. I've never told anyone that." _And slumps down in his chair. I have no idea if he had a bad sexual encounter or if the weight of his use was just too much to keep private anymore, but I honestly felt bad for the guy. Wonder where he ended up.
EXCUSE ME... I NEED TO MAKE A PHONE CALL. HELLO... 9-1-1...
[rebelmouse-image 18358528 is_animated_gif=I have had so many bizarre people walk into the bar I work at. It's a really small place that people enjoy drinking quietly at. Over the years I've had a range of odd topics from a restaurant owner admitting he never sold fresh food to people unless they knew him.
Lots of people end up talking about how they have no one to talk to about their problems so I guess they find comfort telling a stranger who doesn't have an obligation to care.
GENTLEMEN.... TIME'S UP!!!
[rebelmouse-image 18977524 is_animated_gif=I have two favorite stories :
The first one is one time while I was working my husband stopped by to visit me and he was flirting big time. The guy next to him who was plastered leaned over and attempted to whisper but ended up shouting "she definitely wants to go home with you but I don't know if you noticed she is wearing a wedding ring, tread lightly" my husband started laughing and said "well she is my wife so I hope she wants to come home with me"
My second favorite story was when this girl came in with this guy, the whole time he was this sleazy a-hole to her constantly putting her down and touching her inappropriately even though she constantly told him to stop. Later he went to the restroom and she admitted this was their first date and she didn't know what to do. She was really scared. Then she went to the bathroom just to get away for awhile. When the guy came back he poured something into her drink thinking no one saw. Right as she was coming back I picked up her drink and dumped it on his head and told the bouncer what happened. I have never seen the bouncer happier than when he literally picked this guy up and threw him out. The girl and I are now best friends.
I'LL TELL YOU WHOSE ABOUT TOGET PUNCHED SIR!
[rebelmouse-image 18977526 is_animated_gif=5'3" Waitress here - a man at least 250 lbs and 6'2" told me he'd punch me in the face if I didn't get him a to-go cup for his Long island iced tea he asked for after I told him it was illegal. So there's that.
DRUNKS ARE FIESTY FOR SURE!
[rebelmouse-image 18977527 is_animated_gif=Man so many to choose from here I'll give a few of my favorites. The time this woman was talking to me and started to complain about her boyfriends penis, he was sitting next to her she didn't notice.
The time some drunk guy gave me an I.d. That was obviously fake, I denied him and he said "No it's fake it's fine."
Extra story when I was a cocktail I actually got knocked out by a drunk guy who tried to punch another guy but was so drunk he missed wide right and made contact with me. When I came too he was on the ground by the bouncer and apologizing to me, I felt bad for that guy.
SOMETIMES YOU NEED A CONFESSIONAL NOT A BAR.
[rebelmouse-image 18977528 is_animated_gif=Regular, quiet fellow. Usually stayed for one or two pints and then headed out. It was several weeks before he opened up.
He wasn't hammered when he told me, it was really just conversation. Buddy had killed a guy while driving under the influence. He started coming to my bar after he finished his prison sentence.
He seemed pretty damn choked up about it, I always wonder how he's doing. I got out of the business though, lost touch with the regulars.
CRYING IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL.
[rebelmouse-image 18977529 is_animated_gif=I'm a bartender/waiter at a restaurant in Puerto Rico. After Hurricane Irma the owner bought a huge power generator so we wouldn't go out of business. We were fine for a few days before we got our butts kicked by Hurricane María. I was able to get back to work 5 days after the María hit and I have never had such an emotional day at work. I worked for 12 hours straight selling bottled water and sodas due to the dry law.
After about maybe the 8th straight hour working the place started to empty due to the curfew. There was military enforcing people to go home before nightfall. I was cleaning up the place when an older gentleman, Vietnam vet and coincidentally a die-hard Steelers fan (just like me) came over for a whiskey sour. At first I told him I couldn't sell it to him because of the dry law and I could get in really big trouble. Turns out he's friends with all the military surrounding the area and he had permission for one drink.
I served him the drink and he just straight up asks me "How are you, man? How's your family?"
That destroyed me. I hadn't seen my parents in days. Had no cell signal so I couldn't call them. I had just moved in with my GF and after the storm she had to stay with her mom because she lived closer to her job. I was incredibly alone and felt hopeless. I just started crying and talking to the guy and eventually calmed down but hooooly crap I needed a good cry.
EVERYBODY NEEDS A FRIEND.
[rebelmouse-image 18346705 is_animated_gif=All of the things that they would tell anyone else, if they had anyone else. Got a lot of mentally ill and downtrodden folk sitting in front of me just to have a chat. Took me a while to realize that I'm the only person a lot of them ever talk to in a week.
WHATEVER... JUST SHOW ME THE $$$$$
[rebelmouse-image 18348484 is_animated_gif=I was a paid designated driver and i have a ton of stories.
i used to drive to people to the big city and take them to strip clubs and such way before uber. one one trip this guy is flashing a fistful of hundred dollar bills. we are at the strip club and he's flashing hundreds to the waitresses and tipping singles. i'm the designated driver so basically i get free soda and in a few places wings and such. at the end of the night the guys is supposed to pay me ten bucks, since it's ten bucks a head and there's twelve people in the van. he's like well i'm outta singles here's one of the hundred dollar bills. the next morning he shows up asks me if he gave me one of the hundreds. i look at him and i say you told me not to say anything about last night.
JERRY. JERRY. YOU SHOULD WRITE THIS STUFF DOWN TO KEEP TRACK.
[rebelmouse-image 18348745 is_animated_gif=There's a regular at my job, Jerry, who is also our locksmith. He's a mess. He likes the daytime bartender best but he's known to come in around noon and not leave until midnight or later. He's also prone to lying and forgetting what lies he's told us. We all swap Jerry stories about the ridiculous things he insists are true. Some of my favorites are:
-He's had rabies (but he got better)
-He's got 8 kids
-He's a gay man (it changes from day to day so our best guess is bisexual)
-He impulsively bought 4 horses
-He sold all 4 horses less than a week later
-He saw the play Hamilton in high school
-He had AIDS (but he got better)
-He's installed locks on the White House
I'M NOT GOING TO HIT YOU.
[rebelmouse-image 18977530 is_animated_gif=There was this guy at the bar a few weeks ago, he was lonely and his face was completely hazy. He stayed until closure time without saying a single word beside what drink he wanted. Usually I don't but this time I had lot of pity for the man so I offered him the last round (he was the only client left). When it was time for me to go home he asked really politely if I could knock him down and that he will give me 50€. I started laughing but quick after I realized he was serious so I tried to ask what's up and why do he wants me to do this, told him that no money will make me hit an innoncent man. He didn't answer but he thanks me then moved on. I called the police to describe the guy and let them know my fear that he does something stupid to himself. No news from him or police since so I'm sure everything went good that night thankfully.
YES SIR OFFICER.
[rebelmouse-image 18977531 is_animated_gif=Been a bartender for years. Have older ladies trying to pick me up pretty regularly, have dealers slide me 50 dollar bills. Have had people try to fight me because I cut them off or it was last call.
The craziest things is the people I see cheating, or the people that I learn are swingers. I live in a pretty small town so it's weird to see. I've had some bad experiences but I've also had some great ones.
I took social work in college as a stepping stone to get into policing but had kinda given up after not being able to find a job in social work. I was serving some guy at the bar top and suddenly he calls me over and out of nowhere says " you're into policing eh? " I was pretty confused cause I hadn't mentioned it at all and I've never seen this guy. I asked him how he knew he replied _" I've been a cop for 30 years, we know a cop when we see one. " _and this motivated me. I explained my situation and how I couldn't find a job and he gave me a bunch of tips and pointers on how to get into policing and I was just really appreciative.
He was sitting there quiet all night not saying anything till suddenly he bursts into conversation like that. I was pretty confused but he was a great guy.
YOU GOT PROBLEMS DUDE. I KNOW... I'M A DOCTOR.
[rebelmouse-image 18345605 is_animated_gif=I had one guy who claimed to have studied sociology/psychology while in the army, started telling me about how much he knew how much about soldier's brains, and made it clear he was actively analyzing me and testing the reactions of my coworkers. It was very uncomfortable, as I'm already aware of how screwed up I am and complexes I have, but hoped it wasn't that obvious. He did tip me though, so he's definitely far from the worst customer I've ever had.
SEE NO EVIL. NO QUESTIONS.
[rebelmouse-image 18977533 is_animated_gif=Back in the 90s I bartended in a club called the Zone Cafe in Hong Kong. Massive Triad hangout, tons of fights. Closing time was about 4am- anyway this bloke wouldn't leave, in the end he was hauled out by the bouncers. All the staff sit down and have a couple of beers, then we lock up and walk towards the MTR (underground station)- all along the pavement theres splashes of blood (for a good 30 yards). Found the guys body between two parked cars- he'd been chopped probably 20 odd times. We were told he had slept with the girlfriend of a'big brother' in the 14k Triad. Poor guy.
One must really hate their job in order for them to get fired.
Depending on the actual job, it's not that difficult to follow established rules and work protocols. Deviating from them just to get terminated can take more effort.
That is, of course, the employees are completely inept or severely disgruntled and have no problem going on a self-sabotaging mission to be let go.
Why can't they just quit, you ask? Well, that'll be less dramatic.
Strangers online shared what they've witnessed at the workplace when Redditor ImaginaryBank9587 asked:
"How did that one coworker get fired?"
These former employees would do anything for a meal deal.
Egg Thief
"We had an employee cafeteria at a Fortune 500 company. You'd get your food at a counter and bring it, in one of those white foam clamshell containers, to the register where you'd just tell the cashier what you got. This one fellow regularly ordered 3-egg scrambles and told the cashier he had just one egg. He got caught once and told never to do it again. He did it again, and lost a $100k+ job for stealing eggs."
– Yossarian147
Costly Stand-Off
"Similar thing happened at my work, Fortune 500 company, VP of some department, company cafeteria but it was a salad. Would order a salad in line, the kind that they charge by weight and would loiter around until the cashier line got busy and then slip out the exit."
"Cafe worker noticed, told her boss …her boss told corporate security, they start watching for him and due to the guy’s position they watch for a few weeks. 2-3x’s a week he does this for close to a month. Finally they decide ok now it’s ironclad and we can fire him so they walk him out."
"Turns out he thought charging for salad was a ripoff and decided he wasn’t playing the game with the cafe. Well over 300k a year and lost it over a 5.00 salad."
– Due-Pineapple6831
The camera sees all.
Clumsy Ninja
"He was stealing Klondie Bars from the company freezer."
"One of the managers brought in a hidden camera to catch the thief. We all knew the camera was there so he crawled over to the freezer all ninja style to stay under the camera's field of vision."
"It would have worked, except, when he stood back up he tried to do it all fancy, and fell backward back into the camera's view."
– pirateteaparty
He May Have Fooled The GPS Tracker
"Dude would drive to the site, park his work van, then have his GF pick him up and take off for 8 hours, come back and pick up the van, thereby cleverly fooling the GPS tracker in the vehicle..."
"But not the camera pointing directly at the spot where he parked, got picked up, and dropped off. Cost the company a substantial contract. And himself a job."
– Dylsnick
Keep an eye on your baby wherever you go.
Free Baby
"She picked up a customer's baby without permission and walked off with her, the customer was beside herself thinking she'd been kidnapped. Co-worker didn't think she had done anything wrong because she's also a mother...."
– miss_demean0r
Up For Grabs
"My girlfriend had a coworker who did something similar, customer came in with a baby and she just grabbed the baby out of mum's arms and starts rocking it as this was a normal thing in her culture and her fellow co-workers freaked out about it but the mum was actually totally fine with it for some reason. She did not get fired though, they actually gave her a full time contract soon after which was a rare thing where she worked."
– Bubblez4
The Cart Pusher
"We had a cart pusher at target who did the same thing. He def have some mental disabilities, but I wasn’t privy to that info. I just know there were very few tasks he could do and he wasn’t very verbal."
"He was instructed to return carts, so he picked the child up from the child seat in the cart and held it out for the mom to grab after she finished loading the trunk. Mom was mortified, came in to raise hell at guest services. He wasn’t fired, but he also wasn’t allowed to push carts anymore."
– thisisntmyOGaccount
Alcohol and work don't mix.
Workplace Blackout
"Showed up drunk on the job, passed out on a chair in the lobby, then pissed his pants."
– SheZowRaisedByWolves
Sad Story
"At a prior company, we had a programmer who was brilliant. He actually built their computer systems from scratch and was able to update and maintain them. Only problem was, he was a total alcoholic. He was married and his wife did a damn good job getting him to work each day and keeping him reasonably coherent during business hours, probably because he was earning over $300K/year and it was worth her effort."
"Well, I guess she finally had enough of conducting his life and divorced him. He went OFF THE RAILS, like the company sent cops to his house for a wellness check. He was fine, just really drunk. The company paid for him to go to go rehab about three times, they were that invested in him. Each time, he'd stay sober for a bit, but then would be back to his old tricks in a couple of months."
"Eventually, the company hit its breaking point. I think the final straw was when he was in the parking lot, drunk, passed out in his car."
"He was fired and ended up passing from a massive heart attack about six months later, no doubt due to his addiction."
"Very sad story all around as he actually was great guy and an incredible programmer."
– Bleuet73
When I was a young performer in shows at a certain theme park, me and my coworkers got away with a lot of harmless but unprofessional behavior backstage that involved roughhousing and stupid antics out of view of visiting guests.
But when it came to showtime, we were always professional and helped create magical memories for our audiences.
The only time someone was fired was when a coworker tried to sneak a prop–in this case, a wig of a very popular princess–out of the park. Whenever we would "clock out" the security gate, they would always check our belongings for this very reason.
I guess my friend forgot about that part.
The next day, he didn't show up to work and none of us had a clue as to why. The company is so secretive when it comes to stuff like this.
We all eventually found out, and none of this played out dramatically. But one thing was made very clear.
You don't steal a mermaid's wig from this company and think you can get away with it.
For many people, escaping to the woods, either in a tent or a cabin, is just what they need to escape from their current realities and reset their mind.
Allowing themselves to be one with nature, and cut off from technology.
Not everyone finds the woods a peaceful place, however.
Indeed, being cut off from the rest of the world, all the while surrounded by wildlife, it's easy to see why some people find the woods scary, and not at all relaxing.
Particularly if their time in the woods included an experience which made them never want to return, ever again.
"Outdoorsmen of Reddit: What is the most terrifying experience you’ve encountered in the woods?"
In The Company Of Wolves
"Walking in the pitch black out to a deer stand."
"So dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face."
"Heard some circling around me of something large, it was trotting along."
"No big deal, figured it was a deer."
"Then it stopped and let out the most bone chilling howl I have ever heard."
"So loud it was like it was inside of me."
"A few wolves howled back in the distance and it ran off."
"Needed new underwear."- jubstep45
Who's That Cackling?
"I was backwoods camping in Canada with my ex."
"Deep forest, we'd been out there a day or two and hadn't seen anyone."
"That evening we were in the tent playing cards and heard something in the bushes, making a giant racket."
"It was getting steadily closer."
"It got to the area we were in and stopped."
"We debated what to do but finally opened the tent, both completely freaked out, and found... chickens."
"Three chickens, en route home to an organic farm we didn't know was nearby."- Worldly_Salamander_
GiphyIs That Water I Hear?
"An after dark flash flood that roared through camp."
"Twelve of us...five of them were sleeping in the canyon bottom."
"It's amazing nobody died."
"That was 32 years ago and I still sleep lightly and always pack clean underpants."- BrunoGerace
Stranger By The Lake
"When I was about fifteen yrs old me and some of my friends decided to go camping at a nearby lake."
"It was a 3-4 hr hike, and the nearest house was Maybe 3 hr away."
"We brought some homemade wine and drank the whole night and ate poorly grilled hot dogs."
"Life was good."
"We all shared the tent so it was crowded as f*ck in the tent but we all fell asleep around 2 am."
"At 4 I wake up because i can feel someone running their hand down my forearm."
"Not that unlikely that someone brushes up against me since there wasn't any space to move around in the crowded tent."
"But this is the arm that is facing the tent."
"So someone touched me from the outside of the tent."
"I sit up and gets instantly horrified to see that all my friends are sound asleep in the tent with me."
"I put on my deepest voice and shout 'whoever the f*ck you are you need to leave'."
"And a manly low voice answers me 'you should pack up your stuff and leave', not threatening or aggressive."
"Just calmly and in a dead kinda way."
"By now all my friends are awake and are just looking at me."
"No words just pure horror in their eyes."
"I say: 'Okay, we will go, but you need to leave'."
"Hurry up"
"When we get out of the tent this man, who is f*cking huge btw has taken the little row boat that was laying at the bank and gotten into it and is just sitting in the middel of the lake and watching us pack up our stuff and trying to get the f*ck away asap."
"We had to walk around the lake at our way back and he was just sitting there watching us."
"We never went back."
"This was 17 years ago in a rural Scandinavian country."
"We have a 'free to roam law' so we where not trespassing."
"We knew our way around the small town we grew up, everybody knows everybody."
"There have been no people missing and or found dead."
"Never."
"There hasn't been a murder in generations."
"We told our parents who at first tried to calm us down and they said that we where probably overreacting."
"But the way he caressed my arm before he told us to go was not normal."
"When we told them everything and What he said to us we where told to never go back."
"After covid we all met up and the subject came up and we tried to do some digging."
"There are no houses or cabins anywhere near."
"The lake is way too small to fish in."
"When he was sitting dead center in his little boat there was Maybe 60 feet to land on all sides."
"No one has ever seen this man before or after."- Withthisaccountican
Water Band GIF by TennisGiphyLose Lose Situation
"As a Boy Scout, we found a bunch of scorpions in our Adirondack."
"We ran outside screaming our heads off, and then lightening struck a tree like 20 yards away."
"We turned on our heels and ran straight back to the scorpions."- captainkatalis
A Bit Too Much Holiday Spirit
"Many years ago, when I was about 14, I was hiking deep in the woods behind my house with some friends."
"We were miles away from home- further than any of us had ever gone before."
"And we came up to the edge of a clearing and a little further down the tree line, we saw a lump of clothes underneath an old deer stand."
"We got a little closer and we could make out legs and arms and boots."
"They were wet from rain and had been there for a while."
"Obviously, our first thought was that it was a hunter who had an accident and fallen out of his stand and was dead."
"We were freaked out and it took us a little bit to get up the nerve to get a better look."
"It wasn't until we were practically on top of it that we realized that it was a dummy."
"We had wandered all the way up to the edge of a big Christmas Tree farm's property and the dummy was part of their decorations from a haunted hayride thing they did."
"They must have forgotten about it when closing up for the year."
"We had a good laugh but we were all scared sh*tless for a few minutes."- Ocksu2
season 1 premiere GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphyThe Bear Necessities
"I work in the bush and sometimes spend months out there."
"Most terrifying was seeing a bear start to circle me right as the helicopter pilot radioed me to say he couldn't get to my location because of the weather."
"Luckily I had a shotgun with me, and eventually the pilot got down to me, but yeah, sitting there in the sleet while watching that grizzly slowly and sneakily try to cut around my position in the fading light was absolutely terrifying."
"The whole time I was trying to come up with possible ways to keep from being outflanked and to keep visual contact with it in case I had to shoot it."
"This was in the late fall, so the bear probably hadn't put on enough fat for the year and was looking to supplement it."
"Spooky stuff!"- Psychological_Put395
Not A Terribly Uncommon Discovery In The Woods...
"I was backpacking with my dog and about 12 miles from the road and trailhead."
"So pretty far from people though popular enough that other hikers might be around."
"Though we saw no-one all day."
"About 2 a.m. my dog started this really low deep growl and wakes me up."
"Turn on my headlamp and see his teeth showing and he's right on top of me."
"I hear heavy footsteps (black bear / moose?) near the tent."
"I leash my dog so he doesn't tear thru the tent and the footsteps move further away, but keep circling my tent."
"All of my food and toiletries are hung in a tree in a bear bag - nothing in the tent to draw a bear's attention."
"I clap my hands - something is still slowly circling - not something a moose would do, and a bear might if he wanted food - but I've got nothing and a really big dog with me."
"I decide to step out of the tent with the leash in one hand and bear spray in the other - yelling 'hey bear'."
"The footsteps stop - dog's nose is in the air telling me to look right - but nothing in my headlamp that I can see."
"Didn't hear anything run off, but it's quiet."
"I give it 5 minutes or so, get back in the tent, and it starts up again - slowly circling maybe 50 feet from me."
"Maybe an hour later, I hear the footsteps wander off into the woods."
"At dawn, I take the dog, and the bear spray, and start looking for tracks."
"I find a clear path in the leaves that had been trampled, but no tracks."
"The dogs nose is on the ground, and I follow his lead - and he follows the loop around our campsite."
"We finally see a few human footprint - not shoe tracks - a regular size (not bigfoot) bare human foot."
"Plus - yup a human turd and toilet paper."
"Some a**hole was wandering around the middle of nowhere, near the tent and circling my tent for an hour or more, and left a dump for me to find."
"Hiking and backpacking is incredibly safe. I've been doing this for decades, and this is the only weird experience I've ever had."
"The hiking community is incredibly friendly."
"The trails have become more crowded since covid, and your definitely seeing more people on trails, and less trail courtesy (litter - leaving dog poop bags, pooping too close to the trail and not burying you poop)."
"Also - I was very far away from civilization. "
"Bad guys don't hike 12 miles to do harm, and I'm pretty sure they don't carry toilet paper."
"I've hiked thousand of miles without a single dangerous human interaction."
"What I think happened?"
"Much as I'd love to say it was a young sasquatch, a skin walker or a wendigo - I'm guessing it was a disoriented backpacker that left their tent to crap, and got confused."
"I was hiking a somewhat popular long loop trail, and I believe someone was probably hiking the opposite way, and stopped somewhere off trail ahead of me."
"I was backwoods camping - not at a campground."
"Regulations are that you need to be 200 feet off the trail and into the woods to set up a camp."
"So they could have been a quarter mile ahead on the trail and I wouldn't have known unless they were noisy (or smelly enough for my dog to let me know)."
"The most likely explanation is that they were heavily under the influence, got up to crap, and got lost on their way back to their tent, and found my site."
"They approach my tent and realized they were wrong, and tried to find their way back to their camp."
"Then they heard my dog, and me yelling to scare off a bear, and either thought we were a risk to them, or too lit to answer back."
"The circle around my camp was several hundred feet - and my tent wouldn't be visible for most of the loop - I was camping between several spruce trees."
"I didn't get back to sleep!"
"I couldn't get back to sleep."
"It was late Sept and sunrise was around 6 a.m."
"When we found the poop pile, I relaxed - I really didn't think there would be anyone nearby as we were in a very tough area to get to - requiring going over 2 mountain summits from my direction, and 6 other mountains in the other direction."
"The total hike was about 40 miles IIRC."
"We were going to be out for 3 nights, and 4 days."
"After I realized it was a human, my first assumption was that there was a lost hiker."
"I texted a friend that does Search and Rescue in the area t see if there were any reports of lost or overdue hikers."
"If there had been, I would have had my dog try to follow that trail to see if I could have found their campsite."
"As no one was missing, we broke camp and went on our way."
"He was the best dog ever."
"I lost him about 5 years ago."
"I knew that dog would die for me."
"Several years after this incident, I got diagnosed with cancer. **(**ETA - I've been in remission for several years and things look good)."
"This dog was so in tune with me that he knew how sh*tty I was going to feel before I did."
"He would walk with me to the bathroom, and sit right next to me as a puked my guts up."
"He'd walk me back to bed and let me rest my hand on his back if I needed a little help walking."
"Everyone has a heart dog - he was mine."
"I swear he knew I had cancer before I did."
"He used to sniff me right where my tumor was located."
"I still get teary eye'd thinking of him."
"Rest in peace big guy."- BionicGimpster
What Is It Reaction GIF by Nebraska Humane SocietyGiphyIt's What They Didn't See Or Hear...
"Absolute silence. No wind, no animals, nothing. One second there were all the sounds of nature, then nothing. Lasted for a few seconds that felt like an eternity." Reddit
There's a reason that so many fairy tales and scary stories are set deep in the woods.
For while staying alert and using your best judgment will no doubt keep you safe, the possibilities of what could happen to you are endless, and terrifying.
The older you get, the more you realize that having a worldview can be a disappointing aspect of life.
It's all the knowledge we acquire.
Sure, the more you know, the smarter you get.
But the more you know, the less you can pretend.
History can be difficult to learn.
Everything opinion and thought can change in an instant.
Sometimes that is a great thing.
Sometimes... not so much.
Redditor FlickTheSwitch167 wanted to hear about the times the truth of the world, just ruined it all, so they asked:
"What Historical fact have you learnt that ruined everything you ever thought you knew about this life?"
I feel like all of history is a lie. The more I learn, the less I'm shocked.
Aflame...
awesome rock on GIFGiphy"More of a fun one, but lighters predate strike matches by a couple of centuries. They originated from repurposed flintlock pistols that ignited tinder shoved in the barrel that was set aflame by the trigger mechanism."
Kataphractoi
Ice Ice Baby...
"Ancient Antarctica was actually a rainforest, a lush and verdant paradise, filled with flora and fauna. Despite the interesting fact that there was a whole continent of animals who lived on this planet that we’ll never know about - as their remains are locked beneath miles of ice."
"It blew my mind that Antarctica only fully froze over about 35 million years ago, despite breaking from its supercontinent ~ 180 million years ago."
"That means Antarctica supported independent life for ~ 145 million years, which ruined any sense I have for time and perspective. We really are specks on this planet."
oohaaahz
GONE
"There was a Spanish explorer that first visited the Inca empire and saw lots of prosperous cities and a great civilization, and told his peers about it when he returned home. But when other folks went to visit the said cities they found nothing but jungle and thought the explorer lied about his story."
"The fact that blew my mind is that nowadays we discovered that his story was true and the people he encountered died from diseases brought into the new world. And the cities and civilization they build were consumed by jungle in the span of a few years."
Manu82134
Modern Day
"Can't remember the exact quote but it went something like, If the entirety of human (Homo) history was condensed into a 500-page book, modern anatomical humans wouldn't show up until page 450, and homosapiens wouldn't build empires until page 490, the atomic bomb and the foundation of Rome would be on the final page and only a paragraph apart."
"And yet in all of this, the vast amount of technological advancements from the discovery of the atom to the modern day would fit in the last few sentences, of the last paragraph of the last page. And people wonder why we are reckless, we're still effectively great apes but with shiny toys."
JitterySuperCoffee
Tastes and Colors
All Stars Reaction GIF by LifetimeGiphy"Ruined in an interesting, not bad way: ancient Greek and Roman polychrome. The Parthenon temple looked a bit like Disneyland."
ipakookapi
"Same goes for European churches. Statues were painted in flashy colors. The ones outside got washed blanc but there are still some inside that still have their color. By today's standard, it would be considered tacky and bad taste."
chinchenping
One does want a hint of color. Right?
Part of that World
Happy The Little Mermaid GIF by Disney PrincessGiphy"Prehistoric, but still: Given that humans tend to concentrate along coastlines, and that sea levels have risen a bunch in the last 200 000 years, it is likely that our conception of human prehistory is fantastically distorted due to most of it being lost under the sea."
HaggeHagglin
Pennies and Pennies
"Victorian era London was a terrible place to be alive as a member of the working class. If I recall correctly. You could pay a penny to sit indoors on a bench but no sleeping! Two Pennies and you could swing your arms over a rope and sleep standing up or if you made hella money that day you could pay 4 Pennies and sleep in a coffin. The water is undrinkable and children expected working hours were 12 to 18 a day starting at 4 yrs old. By those standards, a lot of us would look like royalty to them."
UnicornBrainsRPointy
Horrendous Horrors
"Learning about the depth and breadth of slavery in human history was a real eye-opener. We have really detailed documents from more modern history to show WHY that idea is so heinous, but it's always been a significant part of cultures all around the world serving as anything from a social construct to the very currency of war and with autonomy ranging from that of livestock to that of a low caste."
"Evidence of slavery predates written records and is even included in the code of Hammurabi where it was already an established institution and we still haven't stamped it out today, April 10th, 2023, where slavery affects an estimated 46 million people (that's more than the total population of California, and approximately the population of Spain). It's crazy how awful humans have always been to one another and that we still can't seem to hold each other accountable for basic human rights, despite indelible proof."
FridayInc
Far Far Away
"When I learned that NASA had discovered over 100 billion GALAXIES and saw the image to put into perspective that our entire solar system is only about the size of a coin compared to our galaxy which in relation would be the size of the United States. We are so incredibly small within the universe."
cheeseburghers
A Strange Loop
Over It Ugh GIFGiphy"If you look at the history of mankind, you quickly see that nobody ever learned from our history."
Plastik-Mann
"History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man."
Kvesh
If history has taught us anything, it's that we're doomed.
But let's keep learning.
Whether we're huge television watchers or not, most of us have at least one television show that we've really enjoyed.
And all too often, the show ends long before we're ready for that final episode, and we dream of a reunion episode or encore season.
Redditor Putrid_Cry19 asked:
"Which canceled TV show deserved another season?"
Anne with an E
"Anne with an E."
- Unusual-Neck9547
"Three seasons, and just when Gilbert and Anne realize their feelings, it gets canceled. Excuse me, what?!"
- thesnoodlee
"Especially when you have so much source material to work with. Heck, the old adaptation went along with an older Anne and followed her life."
- No_Eyed_Dear
The Black Donnellys
"The Black Donnellys."
- Lookslikeseen
"Did they even get a complete first season? That show was canceled 15 years ago, and I’m still mad about it!! The cast was amazing and all of them fit perfectly in their roles. The story was intriguing. I can’t figure out why it ended so abruptly."
- mandyama
"I always scroll far enough down on these posts until I find 'The Black Donnellys.' F**king great show and I was glad they at least put the final episodes online. They were pulled from TV mid-season and I remember just being really bummed it wasn't on."
- GrimwoldMcTheesbyIV
Lodge 49
"'Lodge 49:' it was the dose of weirdness, reality-bending metaphysics, philosophy, blue-collar camaraderie, and kindness I needed weekly. Great cast, great cameos."
"I guess AMC needed the empty slot so they could have more 'Walking Dead' spinoffs or shows where people talk about the previous show they just aired."
- AdamInvader
The Last Kingdom
"'The Last Kingdom.' They had to rush through so much in Season 5 that it overwhelms you, although it still manages to give a great send-off to the series. F**king Netflix canceling great shows but keeps renewing 'Big Mouth,' lol (laughing out loud)."
"Highly recommend 'The Last Kingdom' if anyone hasn't watched it."
- OneThicBoii
Sense8
"'Sense8.' The writers convinced Netflix to do a special series ending episode but it didn't do the show justice. You could tell it was a rushed ending. One more season and it could have been much better paced."
"If I remember correctly, the reason it was canceled was that it was extremely expensive to make."
- Interjessing-Salary
Stargate Universe
"Stargate Universe."
- Ulkrum
"I was hoping I'd see someone else say 'SGU.' I really did enjoy it, different from SG1 and SGA, but I was enjoying it. Really want to know what happened to Eli after everyone else went to sleep for a bit. Like come on, it's like Schrodinger's cat! I need to know."
- Mad-Ma84
"They literally left this show with the ability to pick it up again."
"S4 episode 1: Eli wakes everyone up from their Cyro sleep. Due to whatever mechanical failure or attack, these pods didn’t work and these characters have been killed off, some of them aged."
"Stargate opens up and new characters board the Destiny."
- Jon_F**kin_Snow
"And someone brings Eli a clean shirt. But just one."
- MrVeazey
The Tick
"The Tick."
- dreadrabbit1
"I agree. And it doesn't matter which version you're talking about, the answer is yes, that version deserved another season."
- Funandgeeky
The Punisher
"The Punisher, with Jon Bernthal."
- xXxLordViperScorpion
"Absolutely hands down! He was crazy good in it."
- MessagefromA
Carnivale
"'Carnivale.' I loved the world that was built in that show."
- m0rris0n_hotel
"This is one that gets me. Thanks for nothing, Management."
- the_murders_of_crowe
"This was the show I came looking for. I think the show creator had three more seasons lined up."
- coolmike69420
The Mick
"The Mick."
- Full-Ask3638
"I said the same!! I love that show."
- No-Teacher9713
"I came here to say this. That show was hilarious. As a Sunny fan, it was great to see Kaitlin Olson take even more of a lead role, and really helped me appreciate what she brought to the show. I was so bummed it got canceled."
- Childish_Calrissian
1899
"1899."
- TheGreyPotato
"I remember when everyone thought it wouldn't get canceled just because 'Dark' was allowed to be fully completed."
"'1899' had so much potential, especially after the ending scene of the Season One finale. Such a shame."
- HahaLookyHere
Santa Clarita Diet
"I'm still salty about 'Santa Clarita Diet' being canceled. I need to see what's next for Joel!"
- lemonjelly88
"Netflix: You should watch Santa Clarita Diet. You really should. You really, really should. Here are 15 gajillion recommendations!"
"Me: Okay, fine! ...Hey, this is really good. When's the next season coming out?"
"Netflix: Oh, we canceled that."
- GarbledReverie
"I love how well Timothy Olyphant portrays a man who's on the edge of a complete breakdown whilst Drew Barrymore is living her best life. Such a great show."
- unluckypig
"One of my all-time favorite shows. I will never forgive Netflix for robbing us of seeing what happens to zombie Joel."
"Timothy Olyphant and Drew Barrymore's chemistry was so on point. This show made me realize what kind of a relationship I want with my spouse, lol (laughing out loud). They were the best 'relationship goals' I've ever seen on TV!"
- thathunzygirl
"This is my answer for every single AskReddit post that asks about canceled TV shows. I will never freaking forgive Netflix for canceling 'Santa Clarita.'"
- spooteeespoothead
My Name Is Earl
"'My Name is Earl.'"
- ftran998
"Greg Garcia did an AMA where he shared how he envisioned the ending:"
"'I had always had an ending to 'Earl,' and I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to see it happen. You’ve got a show about a guy with a list, so not seeing him finish it is a bummer. But the truth is, he wasn’t ever going to finish the list.'"
"'The basic idea of the ending was that while he was stuck on a really hard list item, he was going to start to get frustrated that he was never going to finish it. Then he runs into someone who had a list of their own, and Earl was on it. They needed to make up for something bad they had done to Earl. He asks them where they got the idea of making a list, and they tell him that someone came to them with a list and that person got the idea from someone else...'"
"'Earl eventually realizes that his list started a chain reaction of people with lists and that he’s finally put more good into the world than bad. So at that point, he was going to tear up his list and go live his life. Walk into the sunset a free man. With good karma.'"
- edlee98765
"Oh wow, that's such a good wrap-up for the show that even just reading it feels like some solid closure. Wish it had gotten made, but it's the perfect capstone for the series."
- l3rn
The Last Man on Earth
"'The Last Man on Earth.'"
- Historical_Ad2890
"I f**king loved this show. I get that the style of humor and awkwardness wasn’t for everyone, but godd**n, this show made me laugh more than most shows do."
- The_Number_None
"I need closure closure closure."
- Klutzy-Addition5003
The Dirk Gentlys Holistic Detective Agency
"Dirk Gentlys Holistic Detective Agency."
"A lot of people didn't like the 2nd season, which is completely fair. It's hard to live up to the expectations of such a solid first season."
"The reason I personally would like a 3rd season is that the cliffhanger is so. d**n. tasty. Also, I want more Rowdy 3 (6?), Alan Tudyk, and Tyler Labine."
"I recognize that it deviates completely from the source material, and I understand why a lot of people are upset by that. There are a lot of examples where I hated the adaptation (looking at you, 'World War Z'), but I personally believe this is a perfect example of how you take inspiration and run with it."
"A dark, gritty version where Dirk was the fat slob the books described him as might also be fantastic, and I'd probably watch the shit out of it."
"However, I think this adaptation captures the whimsical nonsense of Douglas Adam's writing perfectly, and I'm ok with it. It's just a shame that the show was attached to such a scumbag. Otherwise, we might have seen that third season that gave us all the answers they teased."
- GrownThenBrewed
"That show is still my absolute favorite."
"With absolute bangers like:"
"'The Rowdy Three!'"
"'But there are four of them!'"
"'I'm WILDLY aware.'"
"They captured Douglas Adams's whimsical nonsense so perfectly in that show."
"I feel like the second series went completely off the rails, but I still loved it."
- Conductor_Cat
"This was so gloriously, bizarrely brilliant. It was completely different from the (excellent) books, but it took on some of the core ideas and added a bunch of its own, then ran with them in multiple directions all at once."
"It was a joy to watch and made me feel an almost childlike wonder. It surprised and delighted me; a modern-day fairy-tale for grown-ups. Gutted me when it was canceled."
- wretched_cretin
Teen Titans
"This may seem a bit childish, but Teen Titans. The original one from 2003."
- Sadblackcat666
"It’s a bummer because every character got one season where they were the focus of the ongoing plot. Season One was Robin, Season Two was Terra, Season Three was Cyborg, Season Four was Raven, and Season Five was Beast Boy."
"It was set up perfectly to have a sixth season focused on Starfire and we never got it."
- JRBehr
"I rewatched the whole series fairly recently. It really was such a unique show for the time. I remember seeing reruns on Boomerang after the series had finished airing on CN. It's unfortunate that they no longer air anything from the original series or movie."
"Season Five absolutely ended in a way that demanded something more, and the movie did not scratch that itch."
- ChrisTheKnight03
This is a great reminder of how entertainment can bring people together, first as a fandom and later for the nostalgia.
And there are quality selections here that absolutely should have gotten more time, and deserve a watch from those who haven't seen these shows before.