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Bartenders Break Down The Craziest Things They've Overheard While Making Drinks

Bartenders Break Down The Craziest Things They've Overheard While Making Drinks
Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash

Belly up to the bar folks, 'cause there are some wild tales to be told as you sip your sarsaparilla.


Those who work behind bars meet people from all walks of life and hear a variety of unusual anecdotes.

I never worked as a bartender, but I know they get an earful from babbling patrons who have had one too many to drink.

Curious to hear about the wild life stories shared at bars, Reddit xXSlimi_Gacha009 asked:

"Bartenders of reddit, what was the weirdest/craziest thing you have overheard while making someone's drink?"

Attention Seekers

Patrons say the darnedest things.

Bobby

"The first restaurant/bar i worked in I was only serving but I frequently was in the section right next to the bar. One day I was busy serving a large group, but the restaurant was mostly empty and a guy behind me at the bar said 'you wanna pet my parrot?' my initial reaction was the same as if a stranger had just come up behind me and touched my shoulders but when I turned around... It really was a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrots name was Bobby and yes both me and the bartender pet him 😂"

Midiblye

Sales Pitch

"I was tending bar during an extremely busy happy hour. The place was mobbed and super noisy. Suddenly, a guy sitting at the bar stands up and announces 'Ladies and gentlemen of the bar, I represent the Acme meat company and we carry a full line of high quality...'. The entire bar goes silent while he continues to do his sales pitch at full volume. For some reason he decided that this was a great time and place to hustle up some business. My manager sprinted over to him and told him knock it off and that kind of thing wasn't allowed in here. So he sat down and resumed drinking."

regular6drunk7

Favorite A**hole Bartender

"Regular of mine who I hadn't seen in awhile was sitting at the bar when I came in for a shift change."

"I came in the back way and noticed he had crutches leaning against the bar."

"Recently in the news someone hadn't had their shotgun properly secured in their truck and it went off..."

"So I jokingly say, 'you're that f'king idiot who blew off his leg arent you?'"

"The whole bar gets quiet and everyone is mean mugging me."

"My regular starts laughing..."

"Yeah, it was him. I had no idea. I didn't apologize, because as his favorite a**hole bartender those comments were expected of me."

"Poor guy was only 20 couple and blew his leg off close to the hip. No idea how he survived."

335sunburst

Murder Plot

"I was a bartender for about two weeks (filling in for a relative who owned a bar and went on his honeymoon)."

"I heard a guy talking to a woman about murdering her husband. I called the cops, but these patrons were gone before they showed up. This was before cameras, so I just gave my story and that was it."

"Not long after, my uncle calls me saying the cops are looking for me. They interview me about the couple. Apparently, the guy was a hitman for hire and the woman was trying to get some insurance money. She got busted."

"It was actually an episode of 'Forensic Files' back when that was on TV. I remember watching the episode and they said something like 'the couple was overheard discussing the murder in a bar.' I was kind of upset that they didn't mention me. Lol. I was hoping for, 'The awesome bartender overheard them, but couldn't really tell us much. He also pointed at the male in the photo lineup and asked 'Is this him?' as if he was unsure. What a f"king dope.'"

"Edit 1: I spent half of the day reading the descriptions of every episode that's streaming on Netflix and watching the ones that seemed relevant. I didn't figure it out and I'm sorry, but I just don't know which episode it was. I recorded it on a VHS tape years ago, but don't know where that is either. I'm moving, so if I come across it, I'll edit this and let everyone know which one it was."

"Edit 2: As I recall, the hitman wasn't a professional by any means. I think the episode said he was just a local junkie who'd pretty much do anything for his next fix."

Myzyri

Extremely Random

The following conversations were undoubtedly head-turners.

Poop-Blocked

"From a woman to her friend, 'I don't know about you but I just can't poop in a pink bathroom.'"

janesfilms

Proud Pecker

"Someone was boasting about his 'Very small penis! VERY TINY! LIKE MICRO!' he proceeds to lower his pants and show it to his friend 🤷♀️"

PresumeDeath

Couples

Passions are inflamed where alcohol is in the mix.

Ferris Wheel Payment

"A married couple in their fifties arguing how they were going to explain the fact they couldn't pay the remainder of the 3 million euro bill for a Ferris wheel they'd ordered 18 months ago, already put a million deposit on, and who's collection was due at 8am the following morning."

shutuphobbes

That's Amore

"Man and woman is sitting at the bar. She starts crying and says 'I just want us to have something special'. The guy looked her dead in the eyes and said 'we do have something special, we have sex. We are both married'. 10 minutes later they are making out and she's rubbing him over his pants. I loved slow Wednesdays."

Jhellams83

I'm a cheap date.

So whenever I'm halfway through my first – and usually ONLY – glass of cab sav at a bar, I know I'm talking in a stream of consciousness and volunteering embarrassing personal information.

Once, I confided to all the patrons and staff at a bar in Barcelona, France, about my embarrassing college experience. And I apparently gave a wild performance when the DJ played Prince's "Kiss."

I'm still searching this subReddit to see if any of the comments might be referring to me.

Ewww: People Break Down The Worst Food Sins They Can Imagine

Reddit user Shozo459 asked: 'What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?'

People sharing pizza
Klara Kulikova/Unsplash

When it comes to culinary mashups, nothing is as delectably perfect as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Chocolate and peanut butter in one bite? Heavenly.

Other food combos are not as popular but have a strong contingent of fans like pineapple on pizza or even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

And then there are ones that are simply inexcusable.

Curious to hear examples of what foodies absolutely consider tastey bites, Redditor Shozo459 asked:

"What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?"

Trust the preparation.

That Is Soy Not Funny

"ketchup on sushi."

– BattleCatManic

I do believe you'd get your a** kicked for doing that."

– Mattress_Of_Needles

No Sauce Required

"Reminds me of this random sushi joint in osaka. Every pc had the wasabi inserted already. If the piece doesnt have a sauce (like eel), then its premarinated or salted. For normal fish, the chef brushes it with some kind of soy sauce blend."

"He reminded me that soy sauce would not be necessary almost every time he put a new piece on my plate. I asked what the soy sauce bottle is for then and he just shrugged."

"And we're talking about soy sauce not even ketchup."

– gabu87

Tough Meat

"Ok, not sushi, but. (I heard this from my kid....) My ex remarried to a southern woman who fancies herself to be a southern Belle. Instead, she's more of a Momma June. My ex cooked steaks for dinner one night. He will cook meat so it is BROWN straight through. Don't think about asking for it any way, but WELL DONE. In his world, any PINK in the beef means it's nearly raw.😳 So he cooked steaks for them. The wife starts eating and exclaims, 'This steak is soooo good it doesn't even need ketchup' My kid described the meat as being extremely tough and tasteless."

– stalagit68

That's just rude.

Expired Offer

"Eating my fries after I've asked you if you want me to buy you some."

– iggylevin

"So you've met my ex-wife? 'I'm fine' is a small fry and milkshake or frostee. And yes, she should use her words , but she won't, so you can choose to be right or to not have to sleep on the couch over fries and a milkshake."

– Jimmy_Twotone

Chili & Cinnamon

"Although it's not the worst sin imaginable, there's a weird regional dish where i live that involves pairing a bowl of chili with a cinnamon roll. Every potluck I've been to here has it. It's not for me but it's definitely unique."

– MayorOfVenice

Citrus Sin

"Orange juice flavored toothpaste and toothpaste flavored orange juice."

– shhjustwatch

"I gargle with orange juice after i brush my teeth. Power move. Show that plaque who's boss."

– MayorOfVenice

Who does that?

Gimme Some Skin

"Eating the skin off of someone else's fried chicken."

– Upbeat_Tension_8077

"I had a bucket of leftover KFC in the fridge, and my ex SIL came over to my house while I was at work and ate all of the skin off the chicken. I was f'kin pissed."

"Then, on New Years, a few years later, her aunt wanted to make mole and split the cost. I was like whatever and pitched in. I had things to do and got home after it was done. Those f'kin b*tcheses had ate the all of the skin off every piece of chicken."

"I'm so glad I'm not a part of that POS family anymore. If I am ever victimized by chicken skin theft ever again I am going to throw that skinless piece of chicken at them as hard as I can at point blank range and I'm going to aim for their mouth."

– anon

Condiment For All

"Squeezing ketchup on top of a communal plate of fries."

– OverlappingChatter

"I had a boyfriend who would take all of his fries and all of my fries at McDonald’s, put them on the tray and squirt ketchup on top. This infuriated me in part because then the fries got cold so much faster."

– loritree

Wasting food is a cardinal sin.

Grocery Stores At The End Of The Day

"Grocery stores/suppliers throwing out perfectly good food when we there are people starving."

"There is a 2009 doc called 'Dive' that talks about how much grocery stores waste. Edit: (I'm sure there are many others but this is the one that made me aware of the issue)"

– moosegoose2222

"My husband did the samples at Sam's club for awhile and when they did alcohol samples they were told to bust/break the glass bottles into the food that was leftover and to be disposed in the dumpster...so first throw the food in, then break the glass bottles on top when throwing in dumpster."

– Swivel_D

Kevin Sucks

"I worked at a major big box grocery/everything else store for a short time. The a**hole store director was the kind of guy who would make one of the grocery guys get put the floor zamboni on SATURDAY AFTERNOONS to clean up footprints down the aisles when it snowed outside. Of course, it pissed people off."

"The worst thing he'd do, however, was demand that the bakery and Deli have their cases overstocked to 'Grand Opening' standards every f'king day. Of course, only half sold, and the leftovers were not marked down (he hated doing anything like that for damaged boxes or cans because he said it attracted 'poor people'). Instead, it all went into the dumpster at the end of the night. It was usually a half dozen cakes, a dozen loaves of bread, and often 15 - 20 rotisserie chickens. No, employees were not allowed to take home any of it. Oh, and he was openly racist and tried to get a disabled employee fired because he didn't like disabled people working with the public."

"I rage quit that job one day, two weeks before Christmas. I found out shortly after I left that the store director was diagnosed with Parkinsons."

"Rot in hell, Kevin."

– WhitePineBurning

My gripe is more about dining protocol than actual food.

I'm pretty much allergic to alcohol and aside from having the occasional glass of wine, I don't drink often when I go out.

I don't think it's fair when I'm out with a small group of people who each order more than two cocktails and I'm forced to split the bill evenly as the lone non-drinker in the group.

I get it, it's a hassle figuring out the bill to accommodate for me, but I don't mind sorting it out as there are apps to make this easy.

I think it's classy when other members of the group point out that they should chip in more for the bill so I don't have to pay my full share.

But I also hate having to speak up and say, "Umm, can you guys pay for your own drinks since I didn't order any?"

I'm screwed either way since I sound like a loser when I do voice my request or I get passive aggressive afterward for not speaking up.

Anyone know a good solution on how to deal with this?

Anyone who grew up with one or more siblings is bound to have stories of how their siblings occasionally (or frequently) got on their nerves.

Indeed, some people don't even have any sort of relationship with their siblings once they fly the nest.

Those who grew up only children, however, often have trouble accepting that people would cut their siblings out of their lives.

While being an only child can often mean getting your parent's complete love and attention, it also means that you will have to go through many of life's challenges alone, with no peer to turn to for support.

Not to mention, never having anyone to torment and boss around, as many children dream of doing to their younger siblings.

Redditor BroccoliniCarrot was curious to hear what only children thought was the biggest disadvantage of growing up with no siblings, leading them to ask:

"What’s the worst about being an only child?"

Lack Of Playmates

"When I was little, people would give me board games like Monopoly for gifts, and I wouldn't have anyone to play with."

"even Hungry Hungry Hippo sucked playing solo."

"I did master Solitaire though!"- Jesikabelcher

Last One Standing

"When my parents die that’s it."

"I’m just alone."- undertheraindrops

"Family is the most likely group of people to help you when things get tough."

"When your parents pass you have less support."

"Also, aging parents become solely your responsibility."- rubixd

"Taking care of an elderly parent with no one to help."- 3Gilligans

No One To Turn To

"When you are the only one to support your aging parents."- Fantastic_Leg_3534

Forced Independence

"I think because I am an only child I have become used to spending time on my own."

"As a result I am quite antisocial.'

"I don’t mind being around people and can be quite talkative however it exhausts me and I need far too much time on my own to recover."- OstneyPiz

"You become TOO comfortable with being alone all the time, to the point where being alone is the default and interacting with others feels like a chore."

"And that doesn't play out too well in the real world."- DeathSpiral321·

Going Through It Alone

"No one to have a sanity check with."

"My wife and closest friend have siblings and they talk about a close bond with their respective siblings where they could look at the other and effectively say 'mom/dad are crazy, right?'"

"Being an only, I thought some of the sh*t they pulled growing up was normal."

"Having a sibling would have helped counter the gas lighting from parents."- RennSport5280

Making Your Own Conversation Partners...

"As an adult, I sometimes find it difficult to quiet the self-talk because all too often growing up it was all I had."-GreenDolphin86

More For Me?

"I am absolutely not good at sharing."

"Plus and minus was that I got all of my parents' attention, so I had a lot of love and support but also a lot of expectations and not a lot of space to f*ck up."

"Nowhere to hide, no one to blame anything on, and no backup when they were being unreasonable."

"But I also didn't have to split time, affections, or personal belongings with some other gremlin sharing my DNA."=Justheretolurkyall

No One To Keep You In Line...

"No reality check."

"Nobody to confirm that, no, it's not you that's acting nuts."

"Later, nobody to bounce ideas and behaviors off of, nobody to tell you, 'hey, X thinks you're cute' or 'that's not how you ask a girl out, doofus, say this'."

"I should mention that for various reasons, if I had had siblings they would have been older."

"So when I imagine not being an only child, I tend to imagine being a younger brother."

"But I think the reality-check thing would still operate even as an oldest sibling; plus I might have learned to handle responsibility earlier."- ElderPoet

There Is, Indeed, Safety In Numbers

"I am the only son of a single mother."

"I hate this term, but it's called emotional incest."

"Basically my Mom was very young when she had me and there were no men in her / my life."

"As a result, she placed all of that emotional needs of a grown woman on to me."

"My Mom never really raised me as a son."

"At best, she raised me like a little brother she got stuck with after our parents died."

"At worst, she treated me like I was a toxic boyfriend."- ANerdCalledMike

No Scapegoats

"All eyes are on you- can’t get away with anything!"

"Most strict parents ever ( they were older too)."

"Unlike my husband's family growing up with 6 kids."

"Parents hardly knew where the teenagers were or who they were with."- Available_Honey_2951

"When asked by a parent what happened you cannot blame your sibling."- nanodecay

The Eye Of TheBeholder

"People assuming that I was spoiled."- Purlz1st

Having no siblings means never being bullied, teased or tormented, or having to vie for your parent's attention.

Something many people who grew up with older or younger siblings openly say they dream of.

When the going gets tough, however, and these same people realize they always had their brothers or sisters to turn to, they might bite their words and regret ever even thinking of being an only child.


People Who Had A Threesome With Their Significant Other Break Down The Aftermath
Photo by Simon Hurry

Many couples like to spice things up in their relationships to keep things fresh.

When it comes to bedroom spices, couples tend to add ingredients, like another person to the mix.

But everyone really needs to be on the same page with who they're mixing with.

Or drama can ensue.

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champagne in two flutes

Anthony DELANOIX on Unsplash

Have you ever gone back to your elementary school as an adult and been amazed that everything looked smaller than you remembered?

It's a great example of how our perception of the world around us is shaped by our own experiences and where we are in life.

As a child everything seems big because we're small.

Our childhood perceptions of other things were also skewed. Things that seemed grand luxuries became ordinary or mundane as we aged.

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