Barbers are given quite a bit of trust.
It's scary enough to put your aesthetic into someone else's hands. Anybody with even a shred of vanity shutters when it's time to hand over the keys to their look.
But barbers have another heavy burden to carry: really sharp things.
Scissors, clippers, and razors all have one thing in common: they can cut through hair--and skin--with horrifying speed and efficiency.
So an experienced barber knows to be careful. They walk the line between creating a casual, relaxing environment while maintaining the composure required to do good work.
Sometimes, however, accidents happen.
stan849 asked, "Barbers of Reddit, what was your 'oh sh**' moment?"
A Watched Pot Messes Up a Haircut
"I was in school still at the time and was cutting this guy's hair, he brought his girlfriend along and she was watching like a HAWK over me."
"I'm halfway through the cut and almost done with the fade when the person next to me has their trolley too close to me so I go to move it but I didn't pay attention that my other hand had the clipper still running with no guard on."
"I made a nasty line through the fade that didn't look intentional at all and was sweating my a** off on how I was gonna fix this."
"The girlfriend of course points it out and the client is actually super chill about it and has me basically just run a super high 0.5 on the sides and back."
"3 years later and to this day I haven't had an incident that bad"
The SENSATIONS
"Once had a dude pass out after a haircut."
"Based on what he told me, he had some sort of sensory issues, and the combination of heat, the neck strip, clipper buzzing and noise of the shop overwhelmed him."
"If you've ever dealt with a person fainting, you know what an 'oh sh**' moment it is; one minute dude is standing up and looking a little worried, next he is crumpling to the floor."
"I'm a little guy, but I was able to sort of 'catch' him and ease him down without anyone getting hurt. It was pretty scary, my first thought was that I somehow killed him."
Not in the Job Description
"Beauty school. This tweaker dude and his hippie girlfriend come in for $7 haircuts. Immediately, something seemed off about the girlfriend; she seemed a little not 'all there' and was cross-eyed and had dreads poking out of her hippie hat."
"The appointments were a bit staggered, so I finished the guy's 1-all-over buzz cut, and my classmate calls me over to 'help' with hers."
"When she took off the girl's hat, her hair was completely matted and filthy, and beneath the matted hair were stinking, suppurating sores COVERING her scalp. When we combed at the hair, her scalp would begin to give and split away wetly."
"We called over an instructor who tried to explain that we couldn't service someone who was literally oozing. She didn't seem to understand and they left without paying."
"I'll never forget that smell."
-- Pianissimeat
At Least it Didn't Combust
"Not me, but my mom who is a hairdresser."
"Did you know that some hair dye chemicals don't play well together? Turns out the lady had used some sort of home hair dye chemical that basically has tiny bits of metal in it."
"She didn't mention. My mom goes to dye her hair and puts the professional dye on it... and the hair more or less starts melting as the dye reacts."
"Her hair was totally ruined, there was no saving it. Only thing to do was to just get the new dye off as fast as possible. She was pretty understanding about the whole situation though."
Willingly Spreading
"My coworker at a salon was cutting a girls hair and found lice - the girls mom had left her for the trim and she had to wait for her mom in the lobby."
"We spent the next hour or so frantically cleaning around all of the other clients and stylists to sanitize the whole place top to bottom."
"When the mom came back and asked her why she didn't have her hair cut, she replied 'they found out.'"
"WHO BRINGS THEIR LICE RIDDEN CHILD TO THE SALON?!"
-- mccannisms
Set the Tone
"The barber my dad took us kids to growing up kept a plastic ear in a big glass jar of water. Told all the little kids (jokingly) that it was the ear of a little boy who wouldn't be still when getting a hair cut and he accidentally cut this kid's ear off.
"Said he was keeping it in 'formaldehyde' to remind us all to be very still. It largely had the desired effect on the younger kids."
-- redditclark
A Whole New Level of Customer Loyalty
"The typical not a barber here but i use to go to a local barber college to get my hair cut because it was cheap. One girl had never cut a white guy's hair and her teacher asked if i was ok with it."
"I said sure she has to learn some how and its just hair it can be shaved and should grow back. Told her how i wanted the hair cut, pretty simple a little short and off the ears."
"Jokingly said do not take my ears off."
Long story short i left with a bald head and a band-aid on the top of my left ear, after bleeding like a stuck pig due to blood thinners!! where she nicked me with the scissors. Even her teacher couldn't save the hair cut."
"I did my best to try and help the girl calm down as she was ugly crying!!"
"Went back a month later and asked if the girl was there, thankfully she was and i simply smiled and said round two...she did it perfect second time around."
Steering Clear
"Brother of a barber who used to be a hair model? back when I used to have a good head of hair."
"His instructor told a story during one of the shows about a mobster falling asleep during a shave. While shaving him, he accidentally cut off a mole."
"He said he kept on putting towels on him and then snuck across the street and hid in a bar watching through the window until the mobster left."
"Since he was only renting the chair in the shop he grabbed all his stuff and found another place to work after he was sure the mobster was gone."
-- charlie2135
Layers, Like an Onion
"During barber school I was the most eager to learn to straight razor shave of all the customers, so the instructor gave me all the hardest shaves..."
"...including an 80 year old dude whose skin was so loose and unhealthy that each time I pulled the blade over his flesh, it brought up just as much dead skin as it did hair."
"I wasn't cutting him or anything, he just had that much dead skin just chillin' on his face every other week."
The 1%
"My dad let me line myself up once"
"F***ed up"
"Decided to cut the whole thing off and go bald"
"The plus side to being black is that 99% of the time being bald looks fine"
"I guess I was part of the 1% that looks like a f***ing Whopper Malt Ball."
Getting Too Fancy With It
"When I was training, maybe a few months in so I had a bit of confidence, enough for me to not realise I still didn't know what I was doing, i was cutting this guys hair and I got to his fringe."
"He wanted it really short and I was standing in front of him cutting along his forehead whilst chatting away."
"I took my scissors away to comb his hair but like, flicked them(??) around my fingers and they swung round and hit the guy right in the f***ing iris."
"I froze. He froze. Eventually i asked 'did I just hit you in the eye by the way?' He said 'I think so.' Trying to act like it wasn't sore for some reason. It eventually blew up in the shop once his shock wore off and someone else got him out the door."
"Found out a month later his wife was a nurse and she used some kind of eye drop and his eye was only scratched. Thank god because I thought I blinded him. I gave him a free haircut next time. Just the one though."
-- SkinandBun
Yikes
"Hairdresser of 12 years. I once was combing a young girl's hair that had just got her cartilage pierced a few days prior."
"Sure enough I snag it with the comb and rip the barbell straight through her ear. I went physically weak at the knees and cried a bit. It bled a ton. But she was (and is) the kindest client I've ever had."
"She refused to not pay me, and never told any of her family, whom are my clients as well, what happened. Still cringe at this moment to this day."
Roaches Don't Discern
"I worked at a prestigious salon in an affluent neighborhood of Atlanta. While I was shampooing a clients hair, a roach fell from the open rafter ceiling right into the the shampoo bowl. I had to finish washing her hair without freaking out as to not cause a scene."
"I was not graceful about it by any means, but I managed to keep the client from finding out about it. When we were done, I tried to contain the demon roach by covering it with a towel and ran to the back to get the salon assistant/maintenance man to take care of the problem. Good times."
-- AlliWal0506
Before the Glue Dries
"A hairdresser I know related the story of doing a 'blue rinse set' woman hair. While she was pulling the hair back she saw this obscenely large pinky white area opening up before her eyes."
"The woman's recent facelift glue line had given away. The client was completely oblivious. Much consternation from the staff followed, though handled well enough to keep the customer."
"Not something I would ever want to face."
-- Cremasterau
Deadlocked
"I've been cutting a baby's hair and accidentally cut a little wound in its ear because it was moving too much."
"As soon as I realized I had a pretty weird staring contest with the baby and imagined in my head that it will start screaming any moment."
"But it didn't, we were just staring at each other for like a half minute that felt like eternity and after that I continued with the haircut."
Tougher Cleanup Than the Usual Sweeping...
"My mom is a mostly retired hairdresser, but there are a handful of customers she still keeps because they have been coming to her for nearly 50 years. These ladies are getting pretty old and often have health problems."
"One lady had her colostomy bag busy open in the middle of getting her hair styled, so literally 'oh sh**.'"
-- heimdahl81
Under His Wing
"I was a hairstylist for 17 years. In the mid 90's, 2 brothers walk in. One about 17 or so, the other about 10. 17 yr old leaves. My friend gets the 10 yr old."
"Asks him what he wants. A Mohawk he says. Mohawk? Are you sure?? Yes, yes says the kid. And he gets a mohawk."
"17 yr old brother comes back and is visibly confused seeing his brother with a mohawk. WHY did you get a mohawk? He asks. Little brother says, i ASKED for a mohawk and got this!"
"The older brother says, NOOOO, you were supposed to ask for a BOWLCUT !! So the younger one forgot to say the right name, and got a completely different haircut. Ofc this was when bowlcuts were popular."
-- crkachkake
People Break Down The Missing Person Cases That Just Don't Add Up
Reddit user yourlastnames asked: 'what missing persons case is the most confusing / doesn’t add up?'
Content warning: suicide.
There are truly some strange unsolved cases out there, but there's nothing quite like hearing of a person who has vanished as if out of thin air.
While some of these cases have been explained away or even solved, there are some that remain a mystery that truly does not add up, no matter how the puzzle pieces fall.
Curious about these cases, in particular, Redditor yourlastnames asked:
"What missing persons case is the most confusing [to you] or just doesn't add up?"
The Last Ride of Terrance Williams
"Terrance Williams disappeared in 2004. He's the subject of a fascinating podcast called 'The Last Ride.'"
"The short version is that he was taken into custody in Naples, Florida, after being pulled over in the early hours for traffic violations. He was never seen again."
"The deputy that pulled him over tried to conceal the traffic stop even from his own organization, but staff opening a local business saw the whole thing."
"When the sheriff's department finally looked into it, they discovered the deputy was involved in a similar disappearance of a man named Felipe Santos in 2003. To this day the deputy claims no knowledge of Williams's whereabouts, despite being caught out in a series of lies."
- AlanMercer
Paddy Moriarty and Kellie
"Paddy Moriarty and his dog, Kellie. They went missing in an outback town in Australia with a population of 12 people."
"They were last seen leaving the pub riding his quad bike the one-kilometer distance to his house. He or his dog have never been found and no one has been charged in relation to his disappearance."
- Bigred0762
Susan Powell and Family
"Susan Powell went missing from her home in West Valley, Utah, on December 6, 2009."
"She is presumably dead. Her husband, Josh, was the main suspect and just a real piece of work. No one knows what really happened to her."
"Sadly in 2012, Josh murdered their kids and committed suicide after Susan’s parents gained custody of the kids."
- AlexisVonTrappe
"This case is so frustrating since his brother and father are both dead too. We’ll never know what happened to Susan, but I’m positive she’s in an old mine shaft somewhere. F**k Josh Powell."
- burittosquirrel
The Last Call from Brandon Swanson
"Brandon Swanson. He drove into a ditch and called his parents for help. They stayed on the phone with him for 47 minutes while they drove around looking for him."
"They heard him say, 'Oh s**t,' and then the phone went silent. They eventually found his car far away from where he said he was but he was never found."
- kittengoesrawr
"Reading this was absolutely chilling. It seems at first glance that it's most likely he drowned, but that really doesn't make sense because the water was only 10 feet deep and they would have found the body."
"He just suddenly said, 'OH S**T!' and the phone went silent, but he did not hang up. The phone call continued with total silence from his end. What the f**k happened to him?"
- angelposts
Babysitter Mar Lou Bostwick
"Mary Lou Bostwick. She disappeared July 18, 1972, from Waverly, New York. She was dropped off by her dad to babysit at a friend's house. This was also her 16th birthday. Her mom stopped by later with a cake and presents."
"The people in the apartment told her that Mary never showed up. However, her bag was in the residence. Nothing else was ever found."
"There was another girl around the same age, Sharon Coston, who was abducted and murdered in a nearby town about a year later. October 1983 in Sayre, Pennsylvania."
"There was a man convicted of that, but he always denied doing anything to Mary. One of the people who testified against him and was given immunity was a suspect in Mary's case. Mary's mom thinks there's a connection, but nothing was ever really found."
"I've sadly never seen anyone cover her disappearance on any of the podcasts or YouTube shows."
- Vamp459
Derek Seehausen of San Diego
"Derek Seehausen. My friend was dating him at the time of his disappearance, and he was actively planning his future in medicine, and was last seen in San Diego."
"I saw him about two months before he disappeared. Please send any tips."
- Hereforit2022Y
The Beaumont Children
"The Beaumont Children. Three kids go to the beach, are seen with a mystery man, and never make it back home."
"Never found out who the man was or where they went. Their parents just recently died without ever getting any closure."
- snguyenx96
Xavier Dupont de Ligonnes
"Xavier Dupont de Ligonnes. The whole family (parents and four kids) went missing overnight in 2011."
"Employers, schools, and the extended family received weird letters informing of their absence or departure (one of them saying they are going into a witness protection program). Two weeks later they found the corpses of the mother, the kids, and the dog hidden behind the house."
"They investigated and retraced the father’s whereabouts in the south of France. He was last seen leaving a hotel a few days before. The region was thoroughly searched, but he was never to be found."
- z4zazym
Branson Perry of Skidmore
"Branson Perry, aged 20, disappeared from Skidmore, Missouri in April 2001."
"He was working on his house with a friend, went to the shed to grab some power cords, and was never seen again."
- AdamR91
The Incomplete Story of Marshall Iwassa
"Marshall Iwassa. Good guy."
"He came back to his hometown to visit his family and friends, and everything by all accounts was good. He left to take the two-hour drive to where he was living and never made it. Instead, it was recorded he spent the entire night trying to get into his storage unit and then nothing."
"A week or maybe more, his truck was found 12 hours away on a back road in the middle of the woods burnt to a crisp with belongings thrown about everywhere, no sign of Marshal."
"From what I remember, the family was adamant that some of the things inside the truck, burnt or not, were missing, things they knew he had. The truck was even missing parts."
"It's been four years and there's never been answers. It makes me sad and fearful of long travels. From what I know of him, he was a fantastic friend; I hope they get closure one day."
- devbot8
Out Shopping Asha Degree
"Asha Degree."
"She went missing at the age of nine from Shelby, North Carolina, United States. In the early morning hours of February 14, 2000, for reasons unknown, she packed her bookbag, left her family home north of the city, and began walking along nearby North Carolina Highway 18 despite heavy rain and wind."
"Several passing motorists saw her; when one turned around at a point 1.3 miles (2.1 km) from her home and began to approach her, she left the roadside and ran into a wooded area."
"In the morning, her parents discovered her missing from her bedroom. No one has seen her since."
- EstateWeary5789
The Vanishing Marion Barter
"Marion Barter here in Australia."
"She boarded a plane overseas in 1997 and changed her name beforehand (didn't tell family). She apparently came back to Australia for a few days (according to passenger records) and completely disappeared."
"It's an ongoing investigation at the moment, there is a podcast about it called, 'The Lady Vanishes,' featuring her daughter."
"It's so tragically fascinating."
- CuddlySubject
The Grieving Bryce Laspisa
"Bryce Laspisa."
"He was driving to his parents' house (three hours) after an argument with his girlfriend, apparently due to his alcohol and video game addiction and abuse of prescription medication."
"Partway through the drive, he pulled off the highway and just sat there… from 9:00 AM to 3:'00 PM."
"A roadside assistance guy checked on him twice and said he seemed fine and coherent, and Bryce told him he would be carrying on back to his parents shortly."
"Sometime later, his car was found only a few miles away, driven off the embankment, and he was nowhere to be found. They never found him."
- Just_Raisin1124
News Anchor Jodi Huisentruit
"Jodi Huisentruit was a news anchor who disappeared in the early morning in Mason City, Iowa."
"There were signs that she was abducted and the investigation is still ongoing with new leads nearly 30 years later."
- Have_you_eaten_yet
Three-Year-Old William Tyrrell
"William Tyrrell. In 2014, the three-year-old boy went missing from his foster grandmother's yard whilst playing with his sister. His foster mother and foster grandmother were apparently watching them play outside, and the foster mother went inside to make a cup of tea."
"They then noticed they hadn’t seen or heard him in a while and searched the house and yard."
"In 2021, police began searching national parkland near the grandmother's home for human remains. They also revealed that the foster mother and grandmother were persons of interest in his presumed death."
"Earlier today, the foster mother pled not guilty to assaulting another foster child that was in her care (a 10-year-old girl). She has also been charged with intimidating and stalking a minor. Her husband has also been charged with the same crimes, but plead not guilty to all counts. The foster grandmother is now dead."
"Basically, police believe that William died whilst in the care of the foster family, and they disposed of his body to cover it up. Police are recommending that the foster parents be charged with perverting the course of justice and interfering with a corpse."
"His photos went viral at the time of the 'disappearance,' and he went missing whilst in a Spiderman costume, and the photo that was distributed was taken minutes before."
- Red_bug91
These stories are truly haunting, and it's no wonder that Redditors have worried themselves with what might have happened to these missing people.
We can only hope that answers come for at least some of these cases and that their closest loved ones achieve some sense of closure eventually.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/The realization you're getting older can smack you in the face at any given time, and boy-howdy is it fun!
It can be in the morning when you get up out of bed, and your body makes crackling noises, or when you can't seem to keep up at the gym and you cut short your running time on the treadmill.
That's just the physical.
When you suddenly have the epiphany that you're suddenly the oldest one in a group setting, it's humbling.
Curious to hear from strangers online who are no longer the young whipper-snappers they imagined themselves to eternally be, Redditor redmambo_no6 asked:
"Redditors with younger coworkers, what was your 'I’m officially old' moment?"
These moments of realization never get old. But people do.
Senior Kitty
"My childhood cat lived to 21.5 so teaching (freshman biology lab, so students were ~18) became very weird when I realized my cat was older than my students."
– mollusck_magic
Aging In Reverse
"I'm a preschool teacher. It's been a TRIP to watch parents go from Soooo much older than me, to the same age as me, and now they're younger than me!?!?"
– Smart_Alex
The Shook Pediatrician
"My kids pediatrician was also my husband's pediatrician when he was a kid. He was the first kid she had to come back as a parent and she was SHOOK."
– trixtred
Older Together
"See, that's what really kinda drives it home for me."
"I'm not bothered that I'm 48. But that means my school friends are 48, and that's weird for some reason. Like, I went to school with a guy who was wild and crazy. That guy is 48 now, and has a new grandbaby. Somehow, he's old, and I'm just 'getting up there '."
– ThatWeirdTexan
Relics of the past don't just pertain to humans.
Dialing It In
"Had a co-worker ask me, 'Back before cell phones, did you just have to wait around at your house for a call?' Uh, yeah, pretty much."
– Status-Effort-9380
"Reminds me of having to explain the concept of collect calls to my kids. The whole speed speaking where you were for pick up during the recording so your Mama never accepted the collect call."
– DaraScot
Legendary Aircraft
"Various colleagues were debating whether the Concorde had been real. They couldn’t fathom that supersonic civilian aircraft used to exist and now they don’t anymore."
"The Concorde last flew in 2003, when these colleagues were toddlers."
– geckos_are_weirdos
Foreign References
"We were talking about where we were on 9/11, and my coworker went quiet. He wasn’t even born."
"We also had a band that was famous in the 90s stay at the hotel, and he had no idea who they were, meanwhile I was so star struck as they were my entire childhood!"
– Itsagabby
Gravity is not our friend, and not just because of its effect on our faces.
The Day It Went Downhill
"When i fell down the last couple of steps on a stairway. No one pointed and laughed like I expected, instead they helped me up and asked me if I was okay. That’s when I knew."
– day_of_duke
It's About The Recovery
"F'k. That has to be a bummer."
"You fall. You know you're fine. You feel like an idiot. You get ready to wave to the crowd as they laugh and clap. But then... a hand is placed on your arm and you hear 'that was a big fall, are you ok?' You stay in shock for a moment. Of course, you're fine. Everyone is looking at you. They all have concerned faces. Sh*t. Two weeks later, the soreness finally subsides."
– minimalfighting
Ice Slip, You Slip, We All Slip
"This happened to me as well....walking my dog the day after a huge snowstorm. There were some rowdy teenage boys having a snowball fight across the street (schools were closed that day, of course). I slipped on the ice, my feet flew over my head and I landed solidly on my backside. As I struggled to get up I braced myself for the laughter and catcalls, but all I heard was "Are you OK Ma'am??' 'Do you need help??' I was in my early 50s and had never felt 'old' until that moment."
– Ouisch
Conversations with younger coworkers can be fun.
You can quote lines from your favorite TV shows and talk about the latest CD you bought at Target and brag about your new digital camera that takes better pictures than a smartphone.
And then you can watch the blank expressions on your coworkers' faces because they haven't a clue about what you speak.
Yeah. This has never happened to me...
Old.
Rethink The Ink: People Explain Which Tattoos Are A Total Red Flag
The art of tattooing has been practiced across the globe since at least Neolithic times, as evidenced by mummified skin, art and the archaeological artifacts.
The oldest tattooed human skin was found on the body of Ötzi the Iceman from between 3370 and 3100 BC.
Tattooed mummies were recovered in almost 50 archaeological digs across the Earth with locations in Greenland, Alaska, Siberia, Mongolia, western China, Egypt, Sudan, the Philippines and the Andes.
But while advancements in tools and inks have opened up endless possibilities for body art, some designs have garnered a bad reputation.
A Redditor asked:
"What tattoo is a red flag?"
Names Are For Relatives Only!
"Your girlfriend’s name tattooed after only 4 weeks of the relationship."
~ ClickWorthy69420
"My younger sister got 'Mrs *boyfriend’s name*' tattooed on her wrist when she was 16 or 17. I think she made a fake birth certificate to get it."
"The boyfriend later broke up with her when she was in rehab."
~ ElderCunningham
"Hooked up with a guy who had his own name tattooed on his ribs.
"His own full name. He ended up being a psychopath."
~ not_a_milk_drinker
"I've met 3 dudes so far that have their last names tatted on them."
"Two were in the exact same Gothic font (I met them years and thousands of miles apart). One had est.[birth year] underneath it..."
"Both were huge too, one across the chest, the other across his back. Both dudes were massive tools."
"The 3rd guy had it small on his bicep and doesn't like it anymore."
~ SceretAznMan
Red Flag, Literally
"My ex husband literally got a red flag tattooed on his wrist."
"I had no idea he did it until I saw it one day. I asked why he got it and he said it was a 'reminder' to himself to not make impulsive, rash decisions."
"He filed for divorce and moved in with his mistress two months later."
"The red flag tattoo was apt as f'k, apparently."
~ allworkandnoYahtzee
GiphySuperiority Complex?
"My daughter's ex had:"
"A ring of thorns on his forehead, like he was trying to look like Jesus"
"A 'not Nazi eagle' that looked exactly like a Nazi eagle on his abdomen"
~ gareewong
Sealed With A 💋
"lipstick kiss on the neck"
~ FunklerLing
"My old neighbor had this. One night SWAT showed up..."
~ AverageSoggaEnjoyer
"My buddy had this too, he went to prison for [drug] related crimes."
~ novicemma2
"My old coworker had this too, he got fired for getting high in the freezer."
~ Eggsor
"Also had a coworker of this ilk, proudly showed videos of him shooting a teddy bear on his couch. In his apartment. Just a grade A bozo."
~ theAlphabetZebra
"I’m sensing a theme here."
~ AzathothBlindgod
Cell Block Special
"I saw a woman at a water park with her toddler."
"She had a tattoo that said 'Trust no b*tches, love no hoes'."
"In my bones, I feel there is no way you could have that tattoo if you haven’t been to prison at least once."
~ MissElphie
Rule 34
"Chester Cheetah having sex with a Smurf."
~ Goldeneel77
"But which Smurf?"
~ Grouchy-Change-1219
GiphyProbably Not a Tribute to Her Father
"I met a lady with a 'Daddy' tattoo on her forehead. My gut told me right away that she was trouble."
"She went on a camping trip with us and mixed alcohol and drugs and went into an abusive rage."
"We ended up having to have the sheriff escort her out of our camp. Total sh*tshow."
~ margos2cents
It's All About Location, Location, Location
"I mean, come on, if the first warning sign about a forehead tattoo isn't that it's a FOREHEAD TATTOO, there's bigger issues at play here."
~ Buckus93
"Especially if it literally says 'POOR IMPULSE CONTROL'."
~ foxbones
Take a Bow 🎀
"I’ve never met a girl I liked with bows tattooed on the back of her thighs."
~ hatsnatcher23
Anti-Heroes, We Hope
"Tattoos of very questionable people….like Eichmann or Jeffrey Dahmer."
~ GamerGirl-07
"Or a giant back tattoo of Richard Nixon."
~ CataclysmicConverter
"That's oddly specific."
~ Even_Dark7612
"They're referring to Roger Stone, who, in fact, has a giant back tattoo of Richard Nixon."
~ The-Beer-Baron
Richard Nixon GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphyWhy Not a Brand?
"When a girl has a 'Property of (guy's name)'."
~ Redditor
Adult Swim
"I know a dude that has an odd assortment of Adult Swim characters tattooed on their back, mostly from Aqua Teen."
"They're bad in general, but the worst part is that they're just kinda placed randomly, not in a cohesive group or anything."
"Similar to how you might expect a kid to place stickers on their bedroom door because they weren't sure where else to put them."
~ LolYouFkingLoser
aqua teen hunger force GIFGiphyDad Jokes
"No ragrets."
~ NostradaMart
"That joke is so old, Jesus told it at the Last Supper."
~ Redditor
Red Flag, Literally—Part 2
"A Chinese flag tattoo is definitely a red flag."
~ Shiny_Whisper_321
"A Swiss flag is also a big plus."
~ Bragior
"An Austrian flag is a minus though."
~ Alarming_Basil6205
"A German flag is a big… um… three colored stripes?"
"This is hard...."
~ Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Flowing China GIFGiphyArt—including body art—is subjective.
But before you get that ink, you might want to make sure it sends the message you want.
The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient
"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."
~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath
It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.
But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.
Reddit user Monsah asked:
"What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?"
Reproductive Health
"I was being treated on week 2 with medication for an ectopic pregnancy—fetus in the fallopian tube, 0% chance for baby, very small chance for myself to live if not taken care of. I was told to go to the ER if I developed severe pain."
"I developed severe pain and went to the ER."
"The doctor on call sat there and tried to casually discuss what kind of pain meds I might like WITH MY HUSBAND as I was writhing in pain on the bed. Husband insists doc should just make a decision and give me the meds now."
"Finally gave me a pain pill and told me no need for an ultrasound, just did some bloodwork for my file. I go home and wait it out with a script for pain meds."
"I told him the pain was severe and could be the tube bursting and he told me that miscarriages just hurt."
"I went into the gyno treating me 2 days later and he took one look at me and booked me for emergency surgery. The tube had burst and I had so much internal bleeding that they had to have a general surgeon assist in the cleanup in my abdomen."
"My bowels were adhering to the broken tube and had to be carefully separated. Later, my doc told me I was very lucky and the moron at the ER should have sent me in to an ultrasound based on the pain alone."
"The blood work was apparently alarming."
"Went back for an IV to the same sh*tty ER a few months after. That same sh*t ER doc checked my abdomen and saw the surgery scars."
"He commented I must have recently had an operation!"
"I told him 'yeah, you misdiagnosed my burst ectopic pregnancy and I had to get emergency surgery at a different hospital'. He didn't say sh*t after that."
"If I had the money, I would sue the a**hole."
~ poppykayak
"I also had an ectopic several years ago. I had missed my period and suspected being pregnant."
"A week later had severe pain where I couldn’t stand up and walk and wasn’t sure if it was my period coming on. Went to an urgent care and they confirmed I was pregnant but probably having a miscarriage."
"The pain was bad in my side, and I even suspected ectopic—but the male doctor there said miscarriages are painful and he knows what ectopic pain should look like, and that’s definitely not what I have."
"He told me to go home and just basically rest."
"So I believed him, and headed out—a nurse, female, stopped me in the front lobby and strongly insisted I go to the ER. My husband also wouldn’t let me just brush it off and took me in."
"At the ER they did an ultrasound and my entire abdomen was filled with fluid. I had emergency surgery and got really lucky with a rare ectopic that exploded backwards into my peritoneal cavity (called a tubal abortion) and got away without a ruptured ovary."
"The female surgeon said that in her 20 year career she had never seen a case like mine."
"Still sucked, and f'k that first doctor."
~ pheonixrising23
"Doctor said that either I cheated or my husband did because that kind of cervical pain was always chlamydia."
"It was an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and resulted in emergency life-saving surgery. But thanks for listening doctor!"
"My personal OB happened to be at the hospital that night and came to tell me the news herself, giving him the angriest look I’ve ever seen in a professional setting."
~ grannywanda9
"I’d been sent by ambulance from our local urgent care to a hospital due to kidney pain and a funny shadow on my xray. Emergency room doctor was insistent 'it must be a STI' despite me having no genital symptoms, and he demanded to do a pelvic exam."
"This doctor aggressively tried to mimic my pain from the inside by jamming his hand up my vag. The nurse chaperone looked embarrassed when I said to the doctor, 'if you’re not careful, you’ll lose your watch up there'."
"He then discharged me from the hospital at 3 am saying he couldn’t find anything wrong with me."
"At 9 am the original urgent care doc called back since she saw I was discharged but my blood tests were back and I was septic."
~ Omissionsoftheomen
Digestive Health
"My older sister had unbearable GI issues for years growing up."
"Pediatrician told our parents that 'children get tummy aches' and to try peppermint Altoids.
"She ended up having emergency surgery where they had to remove her entire large intestine because it was necrotic and had tumors.
"Permanent colostomy by the time she was 14."
~ Currentlyunsureatm
"Both my parents are doctors, a Pediatrician and a Pulmonologist/ICU doc."
"Since 4TH GRADE I’d had very frequent upset stomachs and pain. I was always told 'it can just happen' or 'it’s too hard to figure out'."
"It got to the point where when I had BLEEDING from my intestines I didn’t want to say anything cause I thought I’d be brushed off. This was until I was going into my senior year of high school."
"It flared to the point I couldn’t move and lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks."
"Lo and behold, I had Ulcerative Colitis that was diagnosed within a day of tests it was so bad."
~ GamingBeluga
"I had been bleeding for 8 months when my GP told me I 'didn't meet the criteria' for a colonoscopy."
"Finally did get diagnosed with mild ulcerative colitis later on, but that conversation with the GP was the most frustrating part of the whole saga."
~ calvesofdespair
"'It can't be colon cancer because you're too young'."
"My brother got cancer at that exact age, as she knew."
~ Liraeyn
"The really f'ked up thing about this one is that it's standard procedure to monitor for colon cancer based on family history."
"Generally guidelines recommend if a first degree family member (mom, dad, brother, sister) had colon cancer before they were elderly, they should start getting screened at an age 10 years younger than when they were diagnosed."
"So that doctor straight up ignored national treatment guidelines."
~ thatrandomdude12
"My younger sister was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer at 26 (not a typo, that's twenty six.) And it took her a couple of years to convince her doc to order any tests, despite passing blood in her stool."
"I get that she was especially young to have such an advanced case, but I will never not be angry when I read a comment about docs telling folks that they are too young to be checked for colon cancer."
~ Coldricepudding
Children's Health
"I took my then 4-year-old daughter to a pediatric gastroenterologist. First he said 'she's just being dramatic'."
"Then he said, 'well, she'll get married some day and be someone else's problem'."
"That was 25 years ago, and it still shocks me!"
"Turned out she had a partial bowel obstruction."
~ kellygrrrl328
"When I took my then 4-year-old to a pediatric gastroenterologist because she still couldn't control her bowels and clearly had no feeling down there, the specialist told me she was doing it for attention and just didn't 'want to' use the toilet."
"She went on and on about how she'd been in the business for 20 years. When my daughter told her she really wanted to fix the problem so she could go to day camp, the doctor told her she was lying."
"That human turd was in the room when I finally got my daughter tested for bowel insensitivity (I don't remember the official name) and they found out that she did not, in fact, have any feeling in her bowels."
"I looked that b*tch in the face and said, 'Now do you believe us?' She just looked away."
~ paingry
Mental Health
"'You're 27. I don't know what you have to be anxious about'."
"This was in the 1990s."
~ PrincessSummerTop
"When I described my anxiety and depression the doctor said, 'but you aren’t overweight and over thirty!'."
~ seventh-street
"I was told the same just a few months ago at age 25."
"I replied 'well my mom just died' to which he said 'that’s too bad' and continued on with the exam."
~ Familiar_Honey_98
"'That's normal in your line of work. Just ignore it, the pain will go away'."
"I went in for shoulder pain, as my left shoulder would be killing me after a day loading trucks all day. This was an ongoing thing for weeks before I went to get it checked."
"Didn't examine my shoulder. Didn't have any x-rays done, catscans done, MRIs done, nothing. Hell, didn't even have me take my shirt off."
"Turns out that I had a torn rotator cuff."
"Had another doc tell me that the stomach pain that had me pissing myself, throwing up, and passing out was from 'gas'."
"Again, without any type of examination, just listening to the symptoms. Two days later I was dying on the OR table from a necrotic appendix."
~ Redditor
A common theme in all these stories are doctors not listening to their patients or their parents.
While a doctor may be a medical expert, they should remember the patient is the expert for their own body.