Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....
Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.
u/Jhreiser asked:
Barbers of Reddit, how do you play it off when you know you messed up someone's hair?
Here were some of those answers.
Your First Mistake
Giphy"It'll look good if you put some gel in it." Said the stylist at mastercuts in the mall after she trimmed my sideburns about an inch and a half above my ear.
Nothing good ever starts with "Haircut in the mall".
How To Survive A Butchered Barber Experience
Key indicator: he's lining you up and stands in front of you. Then he squints his eyes after using the clippers. After he uses the clippers again he squints his eyes while rubbing his chin. He does this for more than 1 minute. Once that is done- he doesn't't show you the mirror that they usually hand you so you can check out your cut. He doesn't't make eye contact after you pay him. You say "thanks bro" and he says "alright man" with zero eye contact and he returns to his chair to clean up.
Now you exit the barber.
Don't look at any mirrors on your way out. Once you leave the barbershop you go into your car. Again don't look at any mirrors.
DON'T SKIP THIS NEXT STEP.
Go on google maps and find a mall. Preferably one that is not in your area so no-one recognizes who you are.
Find a baseball cap that you love. Make sure you are comfortable wearing it for the next month.
Wait about 2 months to let your hairline recover.
Final step- never go to a barber without checking reviews again.
It's not worth it.
Savior Barber
When we were newlyweds my wife tried to cut my hair. She was nervous and not having a great day anyway, and I guess the clippers slipped or something. She started bawling and ran off, so there I was, a helpless, hopeless freak. I found a nearby barbershop and went in. It was a dank, smoke-filled place with an old TV showing Arnold Schwarzenegger movies on continuous loop. This little, middle-aged lady with a raspy voice said "What'll it be, hon?" I explained what happened. She looked at it and said that it was pretty bad, but she'd do what she can. She only used a comb and clippers, and in 10 minutes I had a perfect haircut. That became my regular place - until she lost her lease about a year later and had to close the shop.
Not The Man Bun Gotham Needs
I knew I was getting a bad cut when the guy started shaving my hairline like it was the back of my neck. I have never had anyone do that before. I gave it about a week before I just shaved my head because I had stubble for a hair line with the rest being 4.5 inches long combed back. I'm not even balding in the front so there was no reason to even go there. The second red flag was when he said this should be about as long as you want it for your man bun. The words Man and Bun never left my lips the whole time I was getting it cut. All I asked was for a trim about half the length cut off and the sides shaved down.
Braided Loss
NOT a barber and NOT my story but my mothers. She had hair that, when put in a braid, went down to about the back of her knees.
She had been growing out that hair 20+ years with just trims and visits to get split ends removed. She went to get a normal split end removal and the girl cutting moms hair said "I'm new but I've been doing this for a while now" so imagine the anger and horror my mother expressed when this girl took her long luscious hair, braided it, grabbed some heavy scissors and cut it to about half way down her back!
From knee length to half way down her back! This girls excuse/cover up? "I thought maybe you would've wanted to donate it to make wigs" she didn't ask my mom or anything. She simply went on and did what she wanted.
GTL
Not a barber, but even when she was done, she kept coming back to the same parts. And then when she was done done, she gelled the heck out of my hair and combed it up like that one Jersey Shore guy with the weird hair.
It Ain't Me, It's You
Obligatory: obligatory, I'm not a barber - but . . . I've been to one. She had my sideburns at different lengths. I wasn't being picky, they were at least half an inch different. When I pointed it out, she fixed them - by overcompensating on the one side so that they were still half an inch different. I pointed this out, and her reply was: 'maybe your ears are crooked.' Good cover, that one.
It Takes A Lot Of Money To Look This Cheap
I got a horrible cut at an expensive salon a month ago. The guy just stopped talking to me partway through and then didn't fully dry or style my hair before essentially fleeing in what I can only assume was an attempt to hide how much he botched it.
Say Bye Bye
LMFAO I GOT THIS. I went to a really nice salon to bleach/color my hair blonde. I had grown out my previously dyed black hair for two years and had nearly all of that chopped off but there was still a little left. Well that part turned orange. Instead of asking me if I wanted to cut it off or providing me options for fixing it in another appointment my stylist tried to sell me on it with "This is cool! It looks like your hair is on fire! *does flame hands around my hair*"
Yeah, no. After crying in my car on the way home and then wearing a scarf for a week I went back and got the rest of it cut off.
"What is a massive American scandal that most people seem to not know about?"
$400 Billion?!?!?
"How about that time the major telecoms took over 400 BILLION dollars to install fiber optics in homes, schools and libraries across the entire country and just... diidn't?"
"The money was just reinvested in the companies to expand overseas and pay legal fees fighting against competitors with fiber plans and blocking future expansion."
"'Here is 400 billion dollars, please use it to give us all good internet'."
"'Ok'."
"'Hey, where's that high speed internet you were gonna put in?'"
"'Oh we decided that was way too expensive, it would cost like 400 billion and we just don't have the money'."
"Have this DSL instead over the existing network."- Horrific_Necktie
Just When You Think They Couldn't Get More Messed Up
"Operation Snow White, absolutely gonzo stuff."
"The Church of Scientology successfully infiltrated the government at high levels and purged records which were unfavorable to L. Ron Hubbard."- sancho___panza
"The church of Scientology blackmailed and threatened IRS people to get their tax exempt status."- Gaelir
stan marsh pictures GIF by South Park GiphyA Literal Train Wreck
"The Ohio train derailment and the decision to burn the spill releasing chlorine gas into the prevailing winds."- Naive-Background7461
What ISN'T A Scandal In American Politics
"In terms of political scandals that were major at the time but hardly remembered today:"
"The ABSCAM operation."
"The FBI set up a fake Arab investment company and offered various state and federal officials bribes to pass bills that would better enable their investment process."
"It led to the convictions of half a dozen Representatives and a Senator for bribery."
"The Keating Five."
"In 1989, in the midst of the Savings and Loan crisis, banker Charles Keating was charged with fraud and racketeering."
"During the investigation, five Senators to whom he'd donated substantial sums (including John Glenn and McCain) were accused of having pressured federal regulators to drop previous cases against Keating."
"The Senate Ethics Committee found that none of them had formally broken any laws, but found three of them were implicated enough to be formally censured."
"The House banking scandal."
"It was revealed that numerous Congressmen had been overdrawing their office accounts with zero financial accountability."
"It resulted in the convictions of three former Representatives and the House Sergeant-At-Arms for bribery and corruption."
"The Abramoff scandals."
"Jack Abramoff was a federal lobbyist, primarily involved in gambling and Indian tribal law, who was convicted of defrauding and over billing Indian tribal councils he was representing to the tunes of tens of millions of dollars."
"Investigations also revealed that he was giving unlicensed gifts to Congressmen, leading to a Representative being convicted of accepting bribes and the Deputy Secretary of the Interior being convicted of obstruction of justice."- AdmiralAkbar1
Voting United States GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphyAn Ongoing Issue Which Needs To Be Fixed
"The absolute and cataclysmic FAILURE of the foster care system."- SunsetKittens
A Global Disaster
"The Dupont scandal."
"DuPont chemical dumped thousands of tons of chemical waste containing a long chained fluorocarbon also known as PFOA into waterways in Parkersburg, West Virginia."
"These chemicals were found to directly cause cancer and birth defects."
"Unfortunately the irresponsible disposal and manufacturing of this chemical didn't just effect America."
"Trace amounts of PFOAs can be found in virtually every single living creature on earth."- super_mega547
Dealing With Children Here!
"The for-profit juvenile detention system."
"Basically, judges in Pennsylvania were intentionally handing out harsher sentences because these for-profit juvenile prisons contributed to the judge's campaign ."
"In PA they elect their judges which blows my mind for this very reason but that's another story."- granweep
And Yet Woman Are Still Fighting For Control Of Their Own Bodies
"DES given to pregnant women from 1940 until 1971."
"It gave girls who were born after prenatal exposure a much higher risk of several cancers, including one cancer that no one else gets."
"It also causes an inability to carry pregnancies in some women who were exposed to it before birth."
"Boys born after exposure were cryptorchid and had a high rate of micro penis."
"There was a registry for these children so they could be tracked for medical needs and if other effects cropped up, but Congress did away with the registry."
"The changes that DES caused to gene expression are heritable, and it is now affecting DES granddaughters and great-granddaughters."
"While Congress has funded continuing research on effects, there is no registry anymore so no possibility that DES daughters will ever see any compensation."
"The FDA approved the drug for use in pregnant women based on a single non-blind study."- randomusername1919
Before You Take Another Sip
"The current and previous pollution of PFAS chemical compounds across our water systems."
"There has been reporting on it, but everyone I bring it up to hasn’t heard of it."- PM-me-your-tatas---
Kimmy Schmidt Drinking GIF by Unbreakable Kimmy SchmidtGiphyAs If Global Warming Wasn't Bad Enough
"It is literally raining acid in Ohio right now."- Polengoldur
Overshadowed By The New Deal
"The business plot against FDR."
"Wall Street tried to lead a coup against sitting president FDR."- Reefermaniabruther
It's an unfortunate sign that the fact that all these scandals didn't cause much of a stir not because they were minor.
But simply because there were other, more glamorous scandals that overshadowed all of them.