Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....
Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.
u/Jhreiser asked:
Barbers of Reddit, how do you play it off when you know you messed up someone's hair?
Here were some of those answers.
Your First Mistake
Giphy"It'll look good if you put some gel in it." Said the stylist at mastercuts in the mall after she trimmed my sideburns about an inch and a half above my ear.
Nothing good ever starts with "Haircut in the mall".
How To Survive A Butchered Barber Experience
Key indicator: he's lining you up and stands in front of you. Then he squints his eyes after using the clippers. After he uses the clippers again he squints his eyes while rubbing his chin. He does this for more than 1 minute. Once that is done- he doesn't't show you the mirror that they usually hand you so you can check out your cut. He doesn't't make eye contact after you pay him. You say "thanks bro" and he says "alright man" with zero eye contact and he returns to his chair to clean up.
Now you exit the barber.
Don't look at any mirrors on your way out. Once you leave the barbershop you go into your car. Again don't look at any mirrors.
DON'T SKIP THIS NEXT STEP.
Go on google maps and find a mall. Preferably one that is not in your area so no-one recognizes who you are.
Find a baseball cap that you love. Make sure you are comfortable wearing it for the next month.
Wait about 2 months to let your hairline recover.
Final step- never go to a barber without checking reviews again.
It's not worth it.
Savior Barber
When we were newlyweds my wife tried to cut my hair. She was nervous and not having a great day anyway, and I guess the clippers slipped or something. She started bawling and ran off, so there I was, a helpless, hopeless freak. I found a nearby barbershop and went in. It was a dank, smoke-filled place with an old TV showing Arnold Schwarzenegger movies on continuous loop. This little, middle-aged lady with a raspy voice said "What'll it be, hon?" I explained what happened. She looked at it and said that it was pretty bad, but she'd do what she can. She only used a comb and clippers, and in 10 minutes I had a perfect haircut. That became my regular place - until she lost her lease about a year later and had to close the shop.
Not The Man Bun Gotham Needs
I knew I was getting a bad cut when the guy started shaving my hairline like it was the back of my neck. I have never had anyone do that before. I gave it about a week before I just shaved my head because I had stubble for a hair line with the rest being 4.5 inches long combed back. I'm not even balding in the front so there was no reason to even go there. The second red flag was when he said this should be about as long as you want it for your man bun. The words Man and Bun never left my lips the whole time I was getting it cut. All I asked was for a trim about half the length cut off and the sides shaved down.
Braided Loss
NOT a barber and NOT my story but my mothers. She had hair that, when put in a braid, went down to about the back of her knees.
She had been growing out that hair 20+ years with just trims and visits to get split ends removed. She went to get a normal split end removal and the girl cutting moms hair said "I'm new but I've been doing this for a while now" so imagine the anger and horror my mother expressed when this girl took her long luscious hair, braided it, grabbed some heavy scissors and cut it to about half way down her back!
From knee length to half way down her back! This girls excuse/cover up? "I thought maybe you would've wanted to donate it to make wigs" she didn't ask my mom or anything. She simply went on and did what she wanted.
GTL
Not a barber, but even when she was done, she kept coming back to the same parts. And then when she was done done, she gelled the heck out of my hair and combed it up like that one Jersey Shore guy with the weird hair.
It Ain't Me, It's You
Obligatory: obligatory, I'm not a barber - but . . . I've been to one. She had my sideburns at different lengths. I wasn't being picky, they were at least half an inch different. When I pointed it out, she fixed them - by overcompensating on the one side so that they were still half an inch different. I pointed this out, and her reply was: 'maybe your ears are crooked.' Good cover, that one.
It Takes A Lot Of Money To Look This Cheap
I got a horrible cut at an expensive salon a month ago. The guy just stopped talking to me partway through and then didn't fully dry or style my hair before essentially fleeing in what I can only assume was an attempt to hide how much he botched it.
Say Bye Bye
LMFAO I GOT THIS. I went to a really nice salon to bleach/color my hair blonde. I had grown out my previously dyed black hair for two years and had nearly all of that chopped off but there was still a little left. Well that part turned orange. Instead of asking me if I wanted to cut it off or providing me options for fixing it in another appointment my stylist tried to sell me on it with "This is cool! It looks like your hair is on fire! *does flame hands around my hair*"
Yeah, no. After crying in my car on the way home and then wearing a scarf for a week I went back and got the rest of it cut off.
An unwillingness to learn
"I feel like the classic example is being unable to change your opinion or idea when you are presented with new information."
"You don’t have to set everything you believe in stone."- Rusty_of_Shackleford
"I think a key thing that separates the intelligent from the less intelligent is curiosity and how far you actually go to learn."- TuxedoWolf07
When even they don't know what they're talking about.
"Maybe not unintelligence but ignorance."
"People getting angry when I ask them to explain what they just meant as I want to understand them and not misunderstand."- smokinstuff·
"Getting angry when someone ask them to explain their point."- SuvenPan
Working Julie Andrews GIFGiphyIt's never attractive to gloat
"Obsessively telling everybody how intelligent you are."- terribleUsername18
It's ok to admit defeat every now and then...
"Playing 'last word' in an argument you've lost."- LennonMcCartney65
"Being defensive when corrected instead of just accepting it."- Marthstewart123
"Claiming they are always right but not being able to argument why or have a serious debate about it."- GReatChinook
Drop The Mic GIF by In Real LifeGiphyAre you sure about that?
"Constantly saying 'facts' that are extremely false."
"Gets on my nerves."- Sharkifish
Read the instructions!!!
"I just started driving for UberXL."
"The amount of people who think they can fit 8 people with all their luggage into a midsize SUV is astonishing."
"You can see which car comes to pick you up and it says fits 5 people."
"If you have a piece of luggage each then it's more like 3 people."
"I had one group sit there and stare me down like they didn't understand."
"I swear some people just have a mental limit for figuring things out and they all find each other and never get anywhere."- predict_irrational
One should always reserve judgment, as one never knows for sure what lurks beneath the surface.
Even if more often and not, you are left with little to nothing which encourages you to see what's there.
Overprotective parents tend to be evasive about discussing the birds and the bees with their kids because they feel it's not up to them to have that conversation.
Remember Carrie White's religious mom who refused to talk about intimacy with her 16-year-old?
We all know how that turned out in the classic Stephen King novel.
Anyway, parents turning down an opportunity to have the uncomfortable convo or having their kids miss out on sex education can lead a child to potentially develop damaging misunderstandings about their body and puberty.
The effects of which were explored when Redditor sparklingshanaya asked:
"What’s a sexual misconception you had for way too long?"
It helps to have an earlier understanding about your body when you're younger.
Sex Education
"As a girl, I had no real idea of where/what the vagina was until I was like 11 or 12. My mom didn't give me a real sex talk, just a puberty/body book that said 'the vagina is between the woman's legs' and just had a full frontal diagram (legs closed) of a woman with an arrow pointing to her pelvic region. I also didn't know a period lasted longer than a day until I got mine at 14, and then wondered why it was still going on the next day."
"When my mom realized how abysmal my sex education was, her solution was to rent a video from the library about it and make me watch it on the big family TV in the living room at like 3pm. Granted— it was a very educational video but I won't ever forget one of the educators (a 50 year old woman) talking about how to give a satisfactory blow job."
– ash-on-fire
Hard Epiphany
"Ok so I grew up in a VERY conservative household. Was not allowed to take sex ed in middle school and they helicoptered in high school. Any internet access they had access to view so I never watched porn/looked at pics. Absolutely nothing. So for a long time I thought penises were shaped like a smaller pringles can. I thought it was just like...a straight up cylinder. Moved out at 17 and googled some things and man I had men's anatomy SO wrong."
– WholeLottaIntrovert
Wrong End Of The Stick
"Friend of mine has a similar background and I just about lost my mind when she said the balls are the END of the penis. Like she had seen those doodles and had it upside down so they just dangle off the end of the shaft lmaooo."
– xchakrumx
Let's get verbal about getting oral.
Satisfy A Woman
"Learn to go down on a woman, like become a master at it. Do this."
– ecallawsamoht
Excuse For Supper
"I second this. Been married for 20 years and it's something I'm happy to do."
"Get involved, people."
"Edit: thanks for the medals and upvotes, people! Be assured that I'll be celebrating tonight."
– AhabVanCleef
Semantics
"Friend of a friend thought it meant kissing. And they were like 19. So glad they found out through a conversation and not through a dude asking for it, or her talking about it. That would've been extremely confusing for everyone."
– SilverWaters793
Pucker Up
"My friend back in middle school thought a blowjob meant to literally blow on it. I still tease her about it to this day."
– Ashurii_desu
Failed Expectations
"Man, I thought I was gonna get so many blow jobs. That’s just not true."
– Studying_Politics
As young adolescents, these Redditors got these terminologies mixed up.
Dirty Talk
"When I was around middle school age I thought that oral sex meant talking dirty :’)"
– strawbrykat
"I used to sext with my girlfriend in high school. When we broke up, she just went crazy and told everyone in our grade that I was great at 'oral sex' (she meant sexting💀) School hasn’t been the same since then."
– Particular-Ad4356
Learning By Example
"I was kind of sheltered growing up, and like most sheltered kids, I learned a lot about sex through porn. I kept seeing 'blowjob' videos, and (i had no idea what a blowjob) assumed it was some kind of sex blooper. Like, something got messed up and the director said 'Oh darn, you blew it! Let’s take it from the top.'”
– Danny_my_boy
I had sex education in sixth grade after my parents gave the school permission for me to attend the special assembly centering on the topic.
But I remember how vague the instructor was. By the time I eventually had my first nocturnal emission, I remember being terrified, yet simultaneously elated. It was very confusing, and I didn't know what happened.
I remember reflecting back to sixth grade and thinking the school must've skipped that part in sex ed.