Baffled Parents Reveal The Weirdest Thing They've Found In Their Child's Room.

As cute and innocent as they might be, kids also have a mischievous (and slightly creepy) side to them. A side that causes them to conceal some pretty questionable things in their rooms. Here, 32 baffled parents share the weirdest thing they've found in their child's room.


1/32. A Barbie doll with her hair cut off...except that the removed hair had been bunched together and taped to her crotch.

ArbyNoodleArmy

2/32. My sister found some of her son's toys had poop on them. It was a toy screwdriver and something else, she was afraid he was putting them up his butt, and got really upset. Later, she found out he was pooping on the floor and using the toys to pick up the poop and hide it, which was apparently much better. He was around 3 or so. He is in college now, I try to remind him of that from time to time.

Laudinum

3/32. Proud father of two girls here. I had been on a mini holiday away with some work friends and arrived home late. Went upstairs to say hello/goodnight to the girls. Go into my 9-year-olds room and notice the mysterious shadow of an object inside the globe I bought her. She is very interested in different countries...

Anyway, I dont wake her up, I just bring the globe out of the room and open it up to find a model flying saucer covered with female breasts that have clearly been cut out of a pornographic magazine and stuck on. I have not been able to coax an answer out of either of the girls over it.

ShaneMcDeath

4/32. I gave my 5-year-old boy a bunch of coins to put in his bank. After a while I went to check on him. He was sitting naked on the floor showering his junk with the coins ???????

CatchingRays

5/32. I found an open condom with coffee grounds in it. She's 7.

essdoubleU

6/32. My parents found a crack pipe in my room when I was about six. I found it on the playground and thought it was treasure.

CAKE_OR_DEATH_

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7/32. My mother found a notebook full of 13-year-old me's sex stories. In alphabetical order there would be a setting and I would write a story about that. I got in from school one day and the book disappeared and it has yet to be mentioned. But it will. One day it will.

Peanut89

8/32. My mom found "This Little Piggy Went To Porno" in my brother's room. She was afraid to ask him so she asked me. I got to explain that his friend went to the adult store and asked if he wanted anything. He asked for something with a catchy title.

Legalbegallove

9/32. Homemade flesh-light. I found a half of a banana with tape all over it. The insides had been carved out so it was just the peel. I think the tape was used to hold the peel together.

[deleted]

10/32. A stack of tortillas under my daughter's pillow. I think she was 5 years old at the time.

Underverbed

11/32. When I was 9 and first learned how to masturbate, I had heard of selling your sperm to a sperm bank for money. So... I decided to save all my ejaculate in a prescription bottle.

My mom found it about two weeks in, roughly 1/3 of the way full. She gave me a WTF look; I explained my entrepreneurial pursuit to sell it. She left the room to control her laughter and disgust. Pretty sure that was the weirdest moment/ conversation we have ever had.

Sublimei

12/32. When I was in middle school I used to keep packets of ketchup and mustard from lunch. Just something to fidget with in class until school ended. When I'd get home, I'd keep them because I didn't want to waste food. Eventually I had three shoeboxes filled with them under my bed. Cut to a year later. I got home from summer camp and my mom didn't ask me about the Playboy under my bed, but she was completely baffled as to why I would have three shoeboxes worth of ketchup and mustard under there.

Clorox2

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13/32. A single raw egg. My daughter is 6. Asked her why she had it, she said "why not?"

zero_coordination

14/32. A little off topic but still somewhat related: I had a colleague who told me an interesting story from when he was a kid. When he was younger, he wasn't allowed to have candy. He would create 'licking spots' in secret corners of the house: The stairway had one, the inside of a cupboard, a hidden piece of the wall somewhere etc. He would stain those spots with syrup and toothpaste and occasionally secretly lick those spots. That was his candy.

Levb1

15/32. When I was 3 my parents discovered old shampoo bottles filled with pee had been the reason the shower had stunk for the past month. They asked me why I did it and I told them I was making beer for my Gi Joe's that I played with in the shower.

Estabueno

16/32. I used to steal porn from my sister. She is a lesbian, so it was right up my alley. I am proud of the fact that I never tattled on my sis when I got caught with her porn.

David-me

17/32. When I was in second grade I cut a picture of my friend out of my year book because it was his birthday and I was going to put it on his card. My mom absolutely freaked out and went on to ground me for two weeks.

Hairlessknee

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18/32. My younger brother hid a dead squirrel under his bed in a shoebox. It took about a week for the entire house to smell like death, and another week to locate the body.

Way_fairer

19/32. When I was a teenager, I went out with some of my girlfriends and my mom decided to rummage through my bedroom. In my gym bag, she found a blank medicine bottle full of Gold Bond powder (I moved it to a smaller container so I didn't need to bring the whole thing with me). Anyway, after freaking the fuck out about it, thinking it was cocaine, the likes of which she's obviously never seen or smelled, my dad convinced her that the only way to know was to taste it.

She claims her tongue went numb for two days.

ChupacabraEatsCarbs

20/32. My little brother crapped his pants without me knowing and threw it on the floor. I come by 5hrs later and see this blackish circle thing that looks like a cookie/brownie and pick it up. That's when I realized it wasn't a cookie.

MrTyphoon

21/32. When I was a little girl (around 8 or 9 probably) my friends and I, being the little pervs we apparently were, drew this whole notebook filled with stick figures doin' it. In different settings, like in a pool, at a concert, stuff like that. My mom found it one day and was horrified, showed it to my dad, and I got to spend a whole afternoon being embarrassingly lectured by both my parents. They didn't believe me that it was my friends and my doing, and thought it was my own personal porn stash? I still look back on it and cringe.

[deleted]

22/32. Not quite in his bedroom, but we had a water cooler right outside all our bedrooms. It suddenly started smelling around it and we thought it was the bathroom or dirty laundry or something. Well, we cleaned up like crazy and it still was gag worthy. Turns out, he peed in the water cooler drip catcher thing. He was 5 at the time and when we asked about it, he said he really had to go. I guess he thought it was like a sink with plumbing but no, it just sat there.

Another pee story was that we had a big refrigerator box that we let him play in at 4yrs. Suddenly he stops playing and we hear a pouring sound...he was peeing in the box. He said he was pretending it was a house and that was the toilet. Great imagination but he took it too far.

Amyyoox

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23/32. My five year old son wrote on the foot board of his bed with a crayon: PLEASE DON'T KILL ME

It freaked me out for a moment but I realized it was a message for closet and under-the-bed monsters.

Ram_it_in

24/32. A friend of mine told me a story about how every few days, he would be missing a steak knife or two. Time goes on and now he's down to about two knives. At some other point his garden shears go missing along with a roll of wire and some hammers. For whatever reason his son had had all of this stuff under his bed, along with some forks and a few cans of corned beef hash. His son is weird.

Griffon666

25/32. A condom stretched out over a banana in a sock drawer. I was about 11 and really curious how these things work

HansDelbrook

26/32. When I was eight, a couple families came over for a get together from grade school. The boys joined together and rallied against the girls, forming a sort of no girls club. I, being the club leader, made notebooks full of rules about how girls suck, and how we were going to eliminate them. We decided to hide the secret book under my bed.

About 6 years later, my mom found the book and read it. It looked like the scribblings of a complete mad man, and she thought it was recent, because I decided to DATE the pictures with a future date when I made them to throw the girls off if they ever found the book. Thinking her son was a delusional maniac, she went up to me and asked, "Um..[my name]..what is this." We all had a good laugh.

Falcon16

27/32. I found what looked like a demonic looking Barbie doll under my little sister's bed with different symbols that appeared satanic but I'm not sure. It creeped the heck out of me.

Hashcrack

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28/32. I found a stench emanating from my nieces room years ago when she was about 3 or 4. I started to clean it and noticed it getting stronger the more I'd gather her dolls into the toy box. I emptied the box out again looking for the source, but couldn't determine where it was coming from right away.

After starting to put her dolls back away something fell from the diaper of one. Upon inspection I realized it was a turd, upon further inspection I found that all her dolls' diapers had poop in them. Real, human poop. It was hers. Turns out she took her pretend play pretty seriously.

Themedialies

29/32. Mom found my "special socks" between my mattress when I was twelve and not just one....seven.

mikeb003

30/32. My brother used to hide his candy in his room because he didn't want me eating it. One day the maid or cleaning lady complained there were to many insects in his room. My dad and her took a look at it and there was a huge ant colony there. We called the bug exterminator guy to clean it out. He passed that bug spray all over the room. Even after that there were ants everywhere around the house because some of them made home in the vents and walls. So we stayed at a nearby hotel for a couple of days while they swept the entire house clean of ants, all because my brother was selfish with his candy.

Ferrarifan

31/32. When we were kids, my oldest sister was OBSESSED with Egypt. She had books, movies, posters, everything about Egyptology.

So at one point in my life, someone in the house noticed an odd smell coming from said sister's room. I remember my mom looking everywhere for the source, but we never could find it. We all just assumed it was "her smell."

Fast forward to my sister moving out for college. She was packing and I was just lolly-gagging around (about ten years old) and she pulled out a tennis ball canister and started laughing. She "totally forgot" about the "mummified peaches" she and her friend tried making years earlier.

Turns out, the awful smell was these peaches, that my sister "mummified" by putting them in a tennis ball container and filling it to the top with garlic powder. Worst discovery ever.

oldladykt

32/32. When my husband was a toddler, his mom walked into the room he and his brother shared to see all of their stuffed animals spread out and covered with the contents of a family sized jug of ketchup. The incident is known as the Stuffed Animal Massacre.

LilithSiren

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