Not many people know this, but I am a massive bad movie buff. Stuff like Troll 2, The Room, The Apple--all of those make me so happy. But even so, there are a few movies that are just so terrible that I can't even bring myself to watch the whole thing. These Redditors have had similar experiences. Here are a list of movies that were so bad, they couldn't even finish them.
u/Ramaal2000 asked: What movie did you start watching then said "F*ck this, I'm not finishing this"?
Roger Ebert doesn't lie.
Gigli. I thought it might be comically bad, but no, it's just the moldy cardboard of movies. Made it through about 35 mins before I realized that I was actively thinking about other things and tuning it out. So I turned it off.
When that movie came out I remember there was a big billboard for Roger Ebert where he was slumped over his desk with his head in his hands looking near death. The caption was, "I saw Gigli so you don't have to".
The start of Adam Sandler's career.
GiphyGoing Overboard. Adam Sandler's first movie. It's amazing how it didn't end his career before it started.
Better than Sharknado?
Zombiesaurus.
I love 'B Movies' that are amusingly bad. "Ghost Shark" is a particular favourite, but Zombiesaurus (bought for £2 from my local Asda) was so bad I couldnt finish it.
YES to Ghost Shark. I found it 'better' than Sharknado. Just next level hilariously bad.
Sounds like a winner.
Hearts AND Armour. (CORRECTED!)
I have absolutely no excuse other than I paid $1 in the Blockbuster bin for it and needed to win the "Worst movie" contest with a bunch of friends on Fantasy Movie Friday.
I won.
I still win with it.
I still haven't watched all of it.
Note to anyone who attempts to watch it - whenever the blonde heaves her bosoms, tosses her hair, and yells "Let me fight him, I'll fight him" take a drink and you'll be dead before the end of the film, so you'll be out of your misery anyway.
FYI: You don't know bad cinema until the bad guys have the evil henchmen in a sword and sorcery flick is wear a spangly rooster costume fight chicken style alongside the guy in a sequined top hat surrounded by knives and bowtie on top of an ape suit.
YUP, folks - it's THAT bad.
And I own it on VHS.
Personally, I loved Cats.
GiphyLast year's Cats.
I lasted 30 minutes and then I immediately left the theater. Human faces on roaches creeped me the hell out, as did whatever else I saw in that time frame.
I saw Cats in a packed theater and we all were laughing and making fun of the film. It was one of the best movie-going experiences I've had.
I've always been curious about those movies.
My mom recorded Tyler Perry's A Madea Family Funeral the other day because that's just how bored she is. She doesn't even like Madea.
I sat through the first five minutes before I couldn't take any more. A while later she finished it and told me "...yep. Madea still sucks."
A departure from Step Brothers.
The Will Ferrell and John C Reilly movie "Holmes and Watson".
In the screening I went to (thanks, dad), I watched a whole group of fourteen year old boys hightail it out of there in the first twenty minutes.
When the least discerning movie audience of all time up and leave so soon, you know it'll be amazingly bad.
Scary Movie 3 is where it's at.
GiphyYears back, I used to love the no-effort parody movies like Epic Movie, Scary Movie, Superhero Movie, Meet the Spartans etc.
Until I watched Scary Movie 5.
When 5 came out, I couldn't see it immediately at the time so I forgot about it and rented it years later. When watching it I realised none of the jokes were funny because they all relied on referencing and parodying the horror movies of that time which were no longer relevant. It was a slog and I turned it off and returned it half way through.
Totally unnecessary.
The Mummy 3. I loved the Mummy series and Brendan Fraser is awesome but my god that was a hot pile of sh*t and the only movie I ever walked out of in a theatre.
I didn't even know there was a 3rd one, I was satisfied with the second one as the end of the series
DO NOT WATCH THAT MOVIE.
I brought a girl over To my place after a first date one night. I mentioned I'm a big horror movie fan, and she said she was too.
She mentioned we should watch A Serbian Film since I said I hadn't seen or heard of it.
So I decided to find it and put it on, While we curled up on the couch together.
Boy....things sure got awkward at that point. I ended up not wanting to finish it. She ended up wanting to go home.
A Serbian Film......Not a first date movie.
RPattz is the king.
GiphyThe second Twilight movie. I can't even remember the name. I saw about a minute and half of the beginning, and knew instantly what type of ****show I was in for and dipped. Haven't seen any of the other movies since (minus the first one), and not planning to.
Gotta say tho, it's funny how everyone hated the actor who played Edward back then but now everyone thinks he's super cool.
Some people might say this is blasphemy.
Pulp Fiction. Except I got a ride with a friend who absolutely loved it. So I had to either stay in the theatre and watch a crappy movie or stand around the lobby for 2 hours. So I stayed. But took a nap.
Except National Treasure. That movie is A+
GiphySo many Nicholas Cage movies... not one or two.. many. They actually hurt to watch... and they're all the same... he is the same character in every movie. Groan.
That movie is eh.
This one horror film called May. It's about a girl who steals parts of people and sews them together into "the perfect boyfriend" or something.
I was really hyped to watch it, but when I borrowed it from a friend it was so intolerable I could only watch 15 minutes at a time over the course of a few days. I kept watching just because I had wanted to see it for so long, but eventually gave up on the last 15-30 minutes
Moviegoers offered examples of the things that don't fly in real life when Redditor qbl256 asked:
"What only works in movies?"
Courtroom antics are better left up on the big screen.
Anything Goes In Court
"Doing whatever you want in a courtroom as long as you are 'going somewhere with it.'"
– aperson7780
Ignoring Protocol
"Any random person being able to walk up and present new evidence."
– shegedep
Respecting Boundaries
"Also, yelling at a judge and invading the judges personal space always works out ok."
– Slytherian101
Action movies are entertaining because of its heightened sequences that are more convincing on film.
Violent Tactic
"Conveniently knocking someone unconscious so they're not bothering you for several minutes while you do secret stuff. Without killing them or serious brain damage."
"Actually lampshaded in Archer."
– yParticle
Piercing Glass
"Jumping through shattering glass windows and surviving without lacerations all over."
– Glock43xyz
It's Lit
"Shooting a gas tank so it explodes."
"Or removing a bullet from yourself and then you're fine."
– midunda
The Perfect Aim
"Shooting a lock to open it is my favorite. Sure shooting a lock will break it, but you just broke it in the locked position. Now it’s even harder to open."
– Studio_Life
It's Such A Blast
"Running away from an explosion and letting the blast push you to safety."
– ImInJeopardy
Certain elements are added to elevate a scene–which only proves, "yeah, that's not real-life."
Sonic Aftermath
"A hushed conversation immediately after shooting a gun indoors without ear protection."
– KyOatey
Street Vendor At The Wrong Time & Place
"Someone pushing a fruit cart across a street just as you’re speeding by. I’ve never seen a moving fruit cart otherwise. Or seen a fruit cart, actually."
– Double-Elevator619
No Time For Recovery
"Running for a very long time and then being able to talk normally."
– Ruminations0
What I always get a kick out of is when the distressed character attempts to flee from a knife wielding, masked home intruder by running up the stairs instead of going out the backdoor.
Like, why make the escape route that much more difficult by adding another obstacle like jumping out the window or being trapped in the closet until the inevitable moment of death?
Oh, right, it extends the tense sequence to prolong the final moments of the soon-to-be victim.
Ah, gotta love the movies.
