Background Actors Confess What Conversations They're Actually Having Off To The Side
Background Actors Confess What Conversations They're Actually Having Off To The Side
[rebelmouse-image 18346317 is_animated_gif=Background actors are needed for plays, for film, for commercials - if you want it to look convincing, you need people in the background. Production teams normally can't just shoot with strangers in the background, tons of people don't want to be filmed while they're just trying to get some pizza or something. So what to do? Cue the background actors! But with no real direction, and (let's be honest) nothing really important to offer to the storyline, what exactly do background actors talk about all day long?
One Reddit user asked:
The answers were everything we hoped for and more, lol. Brace yourself for a lot of talking about food, because apparently that's like 90% of being an actor.
The Produce Section
[rebelmouse-image 18346318 is_animated_gif=Typically something like:
"Peas and carrots, peas and carrots. Peas and carrots?"
"Oh! Banana banana banana!"
"Peas and carrots. Peas and peas and carrots."
Gossip
[rebelmouse-image 18346319 is_animated_gif=Former theater kid here. I generally stuck to small talk and used exaggerated facial expressions/gestures to make it look interesting. When I'd be talking with a friend of mine, we either complained about something that had gone wrong in the show or exchanged a little gossip, lol. Theater was fun.
Sound Editor Says:
[rebelmouse-image 18346320 is_animated_gif=Friendly neighborhood Sound editor and mixer here!
Their words are almost entirely mouthed. The goal on set is to get the cleanest dialogue AND ONLY the main characters' dialogue. Almost all other sound is made in post. Door creaks, footsteps, clothing noise. This includes background voices. They come from what are called loop groups. And their conversations are normally nonsense so that nothing can be picked out and listened to. There jobs are to sound like mumble without mumbling!
16 Hours Of Silence
[rebelmouse-image 18346322 is_animated_gif=I'm training for Stunts, so I do a lot of background/extra work in-between. I'm in Chicago, so I work on things like Chicago Fire, Chicago med, Chicago Pd, empire, the exorcist, etc. Every time I've been on set, I've had to be dead quiet. The mics are so sensitive that even flipping a page to a magazine on the other side of the room will get picked up. Throw in 20 more conversations on top of that and you've got a hot steaming pile of useless junk. It's pretty awkward having to fake a conversation, especially since you normally don't even know the name of the person you're talking to. Having to repeat the same pretend fake conversation and actions for 10 takes, rehearsals, etc, kind of sucks but at least you never have to worry about getting the line wrong. Repeat for 12-16 hours. Sometimes you will literally sit in holding for HOURS at a time where you have to be silent, too.
TLDR: nothing, sets are crazy quiet 90% of the time
Netflix and Tacos
[rebelmouse-image 18346323 is_animated_gif=I was in a recent Netflix film as a background actor, and was paired with another girl for the scene. We had to act excited, so we started this long conversation about how great Taco Bell was. It was hilarious!
F The Proletariat!
[rebelmouse-image 18346324 is_animated_gif=This might just be me but I usually make up gossip that would fit in the context of the show. For example, I was a party guest in late 19th century Russia, and I would walk up to someone and quietly say something along the lines of "Man, f the proletariat, am I right? No way that'll ever come back to bite us!"
It's All About Chemistry
[rebelmouse-image 18346325 is_animated_gif=Depends on your chemistry with the person you're talking to. But it is always very quiet - almost inaudible. It can be talking about where you're gonna walk to next - sometimes you need to do this if your background character has to do a lot of movement without crashing into people or the set.
A lot of times it's nice to do some joking back and forth, trying to get the other person to "break" - just to keep it interesting. Example: One show, I had to have a really close-talking, kinda angry conversation with a girl in the background, and we ended up going back and forth saying the most outlandish stuff we could think of while making really serious concerned faces.
Oooh We Have To Bleep ALL Of This lol.
[rebelmouse-image 18346326 is_animated_gif=I was on Game of Thrones set dressing (props) and when Jamie Lannister was getting pulled down the hill at Rob Stark's camp all the extras were just shouting:
_"C_nt f_cking bastard f_cking dckhead"
and so on lol. When the director said cut everybody was laughing even Jamie Lannister
Larry v. Barry
[rebelmouse-image 18346328 is_animated_gif=I work as an extra to learn about the industry (I aspire to be and actor and director) and I always try to have fun with these background conversations and really try to flesh out a ridiculous subplot between myself and the other background artists I work with. For example, when doing a TV show last year, we did a couple of days where we filled out the same market setting for different scenes throughout the series. They often hired the same actors and had us wear the same costumes, so the people I was grouped with and I decided to create an arc in which one of extras was called 'Larry', but throughout the series he was replaced by his weird evil twin 'Barry'. You can watch the show and notice our reactions to the Barry/Larry character change as the 'plot' unfolds.
Always give it 100% as an actor, folks.
Time To Learn French
[rebelmouse-image 18346329 is_animated_gif=When I was in a production of Les Miserables, the director instructed that all background conversation and ad-lib had to be in French. It was a really cool addition, in my opinion, once everyone learned to pronounce things properly.
Celebrity Death
[rebelmouse-image 18346330 is_animated_gif=Playing Wilbur in Hairspray on a cruise ship. Every show I had about a 45 second "conversation" with Little Inez. One day she says "Ohmigod! Did you hear about Phillip Seymour Hoffman?" That's how I found out he died. On with the show.
Dirty Talk And Strippers
[rebelmouse-image 18346331 is_animated_gif=Usually, you cannot talk... but have to mouth words.
One set I was on we turned it into a game. Mouth a sentence and when the director yells cut try and guess what the other person said. If I was in a scene with a person I knew well... it was usually PRETTY dirty...
EDIT: The most hilarious experience was on the set of a future TV show filmed in Chicago. It was a strip club scene, and the director wanted authenticity so he hired real strippers. They had to be told "tone it down" multiple times...
Sleepy Python
[rebelmouse-image 18346332 is_animated_gif=Tech here, one of my favorite examples from a stage show I did. Two actors had to have a background conversation upstage on set, while another scene took place. They were both huge Monty Python fans and would sit there reciting the entire dialog to various MP films. Some of the crew could hear them in the wings and had to work at not laughing, or blowing their cues. But the real problem was a young actress that was supposed to be sleeping next to them... she wasn't familiar with MP and broke several times.
Just Screaming
[rebelmouse-image 18346333 is_animated_gif=So my experience was a little different than most the other ones mentioned here. I was an extra at a cattle auction and was required to yell for some of the takes. They kept telling us to get louder so by take 3 or 4 we were pretty much screaming. It was quite odd, especially since most of the time extras have to be silent.
People In Love Need To Poop, Too.
[rebelmouse-image 18346334 is_animated_gif=One time me and my girlfriend were extras for a film and we were in a cafe scene pretending to be in love on a date. I really needed to poop and all I was saying to her under my breath was "I need the bathroom" while looking at her in the eyes and smiling.
It cracked me up when I saw the film and you could read my lips and what I was saying.
Networking Opportunity
[rebelmouse-image 18346335 is_animated_gif=Depends on who you're with:
Sometimes you get an older person, they over act with their face and actually pantomime (pretending to talk without actually talking). It's what we're all supposed to do but they're usually the only ones that do it.
Then there's the person with hearing problems. They try to whisper talk but end up being too loud and get everyone in trouble.
The person who doesn't have hearing problems but talks to loud anyway, everyone gets yelled at like above.
There's not really a limit or anything when it comes to the whisper conversations for backgrounders.
I usually talk about work, like "what have you been on? Have you worked with X before?" stuff like that. There's some networking as well, as some people who work as background are just getting their foot in the door for crew.
Every now and then you get a super annoying BG on set and you end up talking about them while the cameras roll, since you can watch them try and push their way in front of the camera.
I went on a couple dates with girls I've meet being randomly paired up with them. Made a lot of friends the same way as well.
Dancing To Silence
[rebelmouse-image 18346337 is_animated_gif=Did some background extra work. One scene was meant to be at a festival. For each take we would have to dance to silence.
Loop Group
[rebelmouse-image 18346339 is_animated_gif=The extras on set do not talk during filming.
"Crowd talking noises" are added in post production. That way they can use different takes without an audible cut or change in the background conversation.
There are two main ways this can be done. Typically, a "loop group" will come in, a troupe of five or six voice artists, who will ad-lib background conversation, read radio/TV reports, or otherwise make noise for people in the background of the shot. They can do a full movie in a day or two.
Other times, if there's only one scene where background noise is needed, after they finish shooting the whole scene and before they wrap the set, the main actors will leave and they will record 60 seconds of the extras talking, moving plates, using silverware, etc. There are SAG rules, however, about whether or not they have to be paid extra for doing this, though, so it only happens under certain conditions.
Flirting With Beggars
[rebelmouse-image 18346340 is_animated_gif=A unique perspective but for many years as a kid I was an extra in large ballet productions for a pretty prominent ballet company. Non dancing rolls I'd be "village woman" "market place lady" "beggar" "Ball attendee". Our job was to make the scene come alive so the village or ball or what have you seemed bustling and lively while all the dancing happened. We were meant to react to the environment and react to the action in that airy ballet type way.
Well large ballet productions like that are anything but silent. There are all manner of little jokes going on in the back and fooling around. Especially in the production where I was a beggar. I was 16 and there were 6 of us teens paired with 6 or so 20-something men from the Company. Our job was just to go around and create mischief, beg for money. We'd harass people in the background, create alternate story lines for ourselves and try not to get caught cracking or goofing off while also trying to flirt with the beggar boys. It's always the time of my life.
Butthole Zingers
[rebelmouse-image 18346341 is_animated_gif=I actually did background for a year or so when I first moved to LA. The conversations run a gamut. Much of the time you don't actually say anything; you're just mouthing words.
Other times you'll just say inane things like "watermelon" over and over. Rare, but it does happen.
But a lot of the time you're just talking to the other background. It doesn't matter what you're saying (as long as you keep your voices low and don't break character visually), so you're just chatting. Granted, most of these people are one-day friends from diverse, artistic backgrounds, so often your topics will get really weird, really fast.
The fact itself that you're on set leads to much of the conversational hilarity. For example, one time I was working on a big crime procedural show and we were doing a rain scene outside of a murder victim's house. So me and two other background actors are huddled off to one side of the set under these big rain machines suspended from cranes. Right before they would call action, rain on, then cut, rain off. All we have to do is stay under our umbrella and look gossipy, and we're golden.
But of course we're chatting, and to hear each other over the water we had to project a little, even standing two feet away from each other. And we're having a conversation about one of the lead actors on the show, a very famous, masculine action star, and making very racy puns about him. Because, you know, it was 3 in the morning and we're standing out in the fake rain and we were a little punch-drunk. And this is what you talk about with new actor friends.
They called cut on the latest take, and immediately the Assistant Director calls over his bullhorn: "Background, be quiet." We didn't think anything of it, they'd been saying that for a few takes no matter how low we tried to get our voices. But then he added: "The mics are pointing right at you."
We shut up immediately. If one of the parabolic mics was indeed pointed in our direction, then a lot of the crew could hear all the butthole zingers we'd been coming up with about their star. Whoopsie.
Supposed To Be Miming
[rebelmouse-image 18346342 is_animated_gif=I did a promo as a background actor for the mother of a girl I liked who was directing. I didn't know that I was supposed to be miming talking, not making any actual sounds. Every time she stopped and said how she could still hear me through the sensitive mics I would just talk lower but it wasn't working. I still feel bad about that.
A Never-Ending Stream Of Profanity
[rebelmouse-image 18346343 is_animated_gif=I'm a pianist for musical theater, not an actor, but... In the show "Breaking Up is Hard to Do", there's a scene where an actor is talking directly to the audience and then the scene "flips" to other characters talking "backstage". As the scene flips, the actor's mic fades out, he turns around to face directly at me, and continues to improvise a monologue for about a half minute or so. Every night, it got more and more ridiculous... One night, it was just a stream of never-ending profanity. Thankfully, he chose not to go with that on any actual performances; our sound crew isn't always on top of things and that would not have gone over well.
Opera Porn
[rebelmouse-image 18346344 is_animated_gif=I'm in opera and yea, we say some pretty messed up s*** to each other. The benefit over musical theatre is that we're never directly mic'ed so there isn't the worry of being overheard.
Professionals try to get each other to laugh all the time.
There's an opera, La Forza del Destino, where a character finds out at a climactic moment that his best friend has been sleeping with his sister. He finds this out by finding her portrait among the friend's personal effects. It's a common prank to remove the portrait and replace it with dirty magazines.
Talking About Squash With Amber Heard
[rebelmouse-image 18346345 is_animated_gif=I work as an "professional" extra, meaning I do it so much I almost make a living of it and have starred in a large number of Blockbusters and international productions. The funniest incident regarding weird background talk, was when I with two other guys, were made to talk with Amber Heard during the filming of The Danish Girl. If you've seen the movie, it's during the party scene, and we basically talked about how to say squash in different languages as well as our favorite cocktails. 10/10 would do again. She is super nice and down to earth, and absolutely one of the most approachable actors I've worked with :)
H/T: Reddit
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People Share The Most Disturbing Theories About Disney Movies They've Ever Come Across
Disney films hold a special place in people's hearts.
Iconic animated films like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Peter Pan have transcended time and continue to enchant new generations while contemporary classics like Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin revived the genre when Disney struggled through an uninspired transition during rough economic times.
All of these films regardless of the decade in which they dazzled moviegoers have one thing in common. They inspire hope through the empowering message that the love of family and friends endure in even the toughest of times.
But underneath all the magic, dreams coming true, and happily ever afters, some plot points may have been more sinister than the conflicts presented to our beloved protagonists in the final cut.
Fans have explored fascinating theories that may have driven the storyline that was absent from the animators' storyboards.
To hear some examples of these, Redditor Marquis_de_Skiatook asked:
"What’s the most disturbing Disney movie theory?"
Identities of certain characters were explored.
The Sales Pitch
"The merchant at the beginning of Aladdin is just making up the story, as he is just trying to sell you a lamp, which is crazy because the Dead Sea Tupperware was a better deal."
– PompeyMagnus1
Who Fired The Shot?
"Bambi's mom wasn't just killed by a hunter. She was killed by a poacher."
"There's a hunting scene right before winter where the whole family escapes. That was hunting season. You don't hear a single gunshot during the winter because it's off season. Bambi's mom was killed in early spring by a poacher."
– lllSnowmanlll
The Little Teacup
"There's a line in Be Our Guest that specifies '10 years we've been rusting...' meaning they've been enchanted for 10 years at that point. Chip is pretty clearly well under 10 when they break the spell and he becomes human. Which means that either the spell also froze their ages in time, or the teapot version of Mrs. Potts both conceived a teacup child (with who/what?!) and gave birth at some point."
"Also, there was a cupboard full of teacup children that weren't given names that also appeared to be under Mrs. Potts's care. What's the deal with those kids?!"
– killebrew_rootbeer
These films may need PG-rated prequels.
Child Was Suspect
"Lilo is responsible for her parents death because she failed to bring pudge the fish a sandwich."
– monorail_pilot
An Egg-cellent Theory
"Gaston was responsible for single-handedly supporting the egg industry of Southern France based on the amount of eggs he consumed, and his death caused a minor economic depression."
– BabaYagaOfKaliYuga
Woody's Original Owner
"Woody is Andy’s fathers old toy and it’s the only thing he has to remember him."
– ptepfenhart
Some Disney films may have war commentaries.
A Duck's Origins
"My favorite is Donald Duck being a WW2 vet. Donald is responsible for single-handedly taking an island from the Japanese, but the experience gave him serious PTSD and that's why he acts the way he does. The Department of Defense officially issued him an honorable discharge in 1984, meaning he retired as well."
– No_Improvement7573
Quacked Up History
"this was canon that Donald duck was a sailor but US naval fleet. But not many people know he was also Airborne or a para-marine."
"thats entirely his gimmick from the disney war propaganda videos."
"being in the marines at the time meaning donald duck would've seen pearl harbor from the hawaiian training videos all the way to the dolittle raids which is why he also knows how to fly a plane in the event if the pilot gets shot dead."
"donald duck was an airman in the pacific theater and took over entire japanese gun nests. Due to the time of the video(Commando Duck), the layout on the map and very much the actual role donald duck was a paratrooper in Guadalcanal."
"Donald duck wasn't a reservist or a volunteer since he was drafted so very much he fought all this mostly against his will. So it questions me why we would be there untl discharged in 1984."
"basically there is proof that everything that the previous person said is 100% true by overlooking two videos. Commando Duck 'Donald Duck vs Japan' and Donald Duck gets drafted as the release timing of both videos would match up the which battled and what unit Donald Duck would've fought in canonly. Based on merit he probably retired as a sergeant or e-5 rank. i did too much research."
"Its safe to say that Donald Duck was a paratrooper serving the 11th Airborne division n the battle of Guadalcanal. No only that he served in Guadalcanal but the timing itself means that Donald Duck served in Midway, Coral Sea, Pearl Harbor, Papa New Guinea, and the Philippines, Palau, Okinawa and based on the timing of the US fleet naval movements and as well as the history of the unit. Donald Duck probably seens some of the worst losses in US history and slept under the constant nightmare of a Japanese Air raid, death camps, jungle combat. It is also possible he saw combat in the Korean war since the same unit was posted for Korea but because he wasn't discharged until 1984 its save to say hes been in combat until Vietnam."
– ghigoli
Post-Apocalyptic World
"Cars takes place long after a war where the sapient machines wiped out their human creators."
– brak-0666
Vehicular Genocide
"Cars has a cars pope. Christianity is canon in the cars universe. This meaning there was also a cars Jesus who suffered a cars crucifixion."
"Furthermore the Jeep character is actually canonized as a WW2 veteran. There was a cars WW2 this meaning there was also a cars Hitler who killed scores of presumably Jewish cars."
– funkyjiveturkey
While many of these examples have not been officially substantiated by Disney, they sure do add another level that heightens the stakes for challenges faced by our favorite characters.
But one thing is certain.
You may never look at some of these classics the same way again.
There are few feelings more disappointing than revisiting a place you loved going to as a child, or finding a food you used to love to eat, only to discover that it isn't quite as wonderful as you remember.
While it's easy to chalk this up to no longer having your childhood naivité, your outgrowing it might not be what's behind the apparent decline in quality.
Instead, what could have very well happened is that the people behind the upkeep or the quality control have been asleep at the wheel, and thus what was, in fact magical, during your childhood is anything but now that you've grown up.
From amusement parks to candy bars, there are countless things that have gone from being a "must have" or "must visit", to something you find yourself avoiding at all costs.
"Redditor Unfair-Independent48 was curious to hear all the things people think have seen a sizable decline in quality with each passing year, leading them to ask:
"What's a product that's gotten significantly worse over the years?"
A Casualty Of Online Shopping...
"Outlet malls."
"It used to be a place where you could find designer stuff for cheaper, but now most of it is just crappier stuff made specifically for the outlet."- tickingkitty
Those Celebrity Colnols Aren't Fooling Anyone...
"KFC."- Oryx
Almost All Natural...
Breyer's ice cream."
"It used to be really good quality, and they'd advertise how it was made with only a few natural ingredients."
"Now most of their stuff is 'frozen dairy desserts' because they can't legally call it 'ice cream' anymore, and it all tastes like garbage'."- Doctor_Juris
When Your Sofa Is The Last Place You Want To Recline...
"Furniture."
"Everything used to be solid wood."
"Now it’s all paperboard."- gonewildecat
New Technology Has Such A Short Shelf-Life
"Almost every household appliance."
"Sh*t used to be built to last for 4 f*cking generations, man."
"My grandma's old fridge from the 60's is still running like a champ out in my garage."
"Thing is built like a tank and gives no f*cks about the long march of time."
"These days you'll be lucky to get 5 years out of some appliances you buy, and good luck getting any warranty service if you even approach one with a screwdriver in an attempt to fix it yourself."- buddypalamigo25
comic power rangers GIF by Paul WindleGiphyTorn Jeans Are So Passé
"Jeans."
"I have GAP jeans, from when I was 14, that are in great shape."
"Meanwhile, I’ll buy overpriced designer sh*t today and I’m lucky if it lasts 2 years."
"Why is everything so THIN?"- Brewnonono
Don't Ignore The Fine Print...
"Turbo Tax."
"The fees to file basic taxes is crazy."
"Free Tax USA is much better and I wish more people knew about it."- Action3xpress
Some Places Photograph Much Better Than They Actually Look...
"Airbnb."- Imboredboredbored
You Can't Manufacture Chemistry
"Tinder and dating apps in general."- justadudenameddave
Sure, The Screen Is Huge, But How Do You Turn It Off?!?!
"The lack of buttons that tv's have these days. I hate it."- Responsible-Sail1921
GiphyThe Fall Of The Big Red Roof...
"Pizza Hut was the place to be when I was a kid in the 80's."
"The buffet."
"The personal pan pizzas paid for with Book-it."
"Pitchers of pop drank from those weird red cups that no longer exist."
"Dig Dug, Galaga, and Centipede."
"The last time I ate at Pizza Hut was about 15 years ago."
"Stopped at on when we were driving out to Colorado Springs."
"So pointless."
"Nothing special about it."
"It didn't even have the decency to be bad."
"It just had no anima."
"No spirit."
"No Galaga."- mostlygray
pizza hut GIFGiphyQuality control is difficult, and some things sadly just aren't sustainable.
This doesn't make it any less disappointing when you bite into a personal deep-dish pizza, and the taste sensation is anything but what you remembered as a child.
Things that go bump in the night.
Creepy crawlers lurking everywhere.
True crime stories on TV.
Life is constantly trying to freak us out.
Let's talk about it.
Nobody is sleeping anyway.
Redditor Galactic_Blueberry1 wanted everyone to share the weird oddities that keep us concerned with life, so they asked:
"Reddit, what is the most eerie thing that's ever happened to you?"
Being creeped out in life is part of living.
There should be a warning.
Coincidence?
twins GIF by Soul TrainGiphy"I once met the same set of twins in the same day. One after the other. One at a library and then another at the mall."
willywonkerbonker
Normal
"I’m a medic and firefighter. We once had a call for something normal, like chest pain or something, I can’t remember. The caller said he was in his barn/garage, which isn’t weird really around here. Anyway, we pull up on the scene and something just felt off. No idea why but something just told me in my gut that something was wrong."
"I decided to do a 360 around the building before we went through the door at the front that was clearly the entrance. I walk around and come to a window on the side of the building and look in. There was a shotgun rigged to the door. The guy had set a booby trap for us. And he had hung himself as well."
"We kicked in this plexiglass-type material on the side of the building and entered that way. Guy was dead. Nothing we could do about it at that point. I would have been the first through that door. No idea why I didn’t just walk through it that day. I’ve posted this before but I feel it’s a decent story."
pokemon-g**gbang
Talk to the Neighbor
"I was driving home per usual and got this random, unwavering feeling that my house had been broken into. I kind of laughed and said 'Please don’t let my house have actually been broken into' out loud as I turned the corner onto my street. The first thing I noticed when I pulled up to the house were the blinds on my bedroom window. They were yanked around and twisted up."
"Some guy that lives across the street turned out to have been stalking me and decided to climb through my bedroom window. He took nothing valuable. Just some weird personal items. It was terrifying to walk in and see my things rummaged through. It was even scarier when I talked to the neighbor and they admitted that multiple people in the neighborhood had seen it happen."
"But they were all too scared of ol’ dude to say anything. The weirdest part of it all (and I mean this guy took some creepy personal things) is that nagging feeling I had before I found the remnants of the break-in. I swear I knew before I knew, and that was such an eerie feeling."
No_Sense_7384
'Hey! What are you doing out here?'
"This happened last year. I was having a recurring dream where I was in the woods at night. I noticed a campfire in the distance. Whoever was sitting at the fire noticed me and yells out 'Hey! What are you doing out here?' and starts moving towards me until I wake up."
"Late last summer I decided to go out to the woods for a hike. Once I got out there, I needed to pee. I hopped off of the trail to get closer to the creek so I could take care of business and not worry about anyone walking up on me."
"As I approached the creek, I see a hidden shelter and a man setting up a campfire. When he noticed me, he said "Hey! What are you doing out here?' Nothing else happened. I apologized and went on my way. It was the only time in my life that I had dreams of an event before it happened. I was pretty shook at the time."
Imahorrible_person
Very Weird
The Kid Mero Showtime GIF by Desus & MeroGiphy"One time my husband and I were lying in bed and the bottom drawer to his nightstand slammed shut. There was no logical explanation for why that happened and we still don’t understand to this day! I should clarify that we were both awake when this happened."
"We were just lying there reading and playing on our phones and we both heard the drawer shut clear as day! My husband has a habit of keeping his lower drawer open and we looked over and it was closed. Very weird!"
mrsjay717
Things that go bump in the night.
NO THANK YOU!!
Jump Out
Rain Storming GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"During a severe thunder/lightning storm one night, I was alone in the cathedral - high up in the loft above the nave practicing the large pipe organ for a forthcoming recital."
"The flashing lightning illuminated the stained glass around the pipes with such intensity that it made the biblical characters seem to 'jump out' of the windows and remain suspended in mid-air all around me (as if they had somehow come to life)."
Back2Bach
Oh Grandma...
"When I was in middle school, I used to spend my free time playing on my Gameboy or listening to CDs in my room. It was a three-family house. Most of my family, including my parents, sister, and I, lived on the top floor, while my grandmother lived alone on the second floor."
"My grandma used to take care of my sister and me while my parents were at work. She would frequently walk up the stairs at least twice a day to check on us. She wore loud wooden slippers in the house, so we could always hear her walking around on her floor and especially when she was coming upstairs."
"One weekend while I was alone at home with my grandma, I was sitting on my bed playing my Gameboy when I heard my grandma's unmistakable footsteps coming up the stairs. I heard her walking down the hallway and stopping in front of my door. I looked up to meet her gaze, but there was no one there. I felt startled and ran out of my room to check the hallway, kitchen, and stairs, but I couldn't find anyone else upstairs beside me. I found my grandma sitting downstairs on the couch watching television."
lovelybliss
In Dreams
"I had one of those dreams that you couldn't wake up from. I knew I was asleep and I was aware but I couldn't wake up. I was absolutely terrified thinking that I was stuck in a coma or something. I had a gun with me for some reason and as the terror of not being able to wake up grew I for some reason had a thought and belief that if I killed myself in the dream I would die in real life and that that was a better alternative than being in a coma. So I brought the gun to my head and pulled the trigger. I physically felt pain in my temple and heard the shot. I woke up right afterward."
StraightsJacket
What did he hear?
"My ex and I lived in a remote part of Northern Nevada. The house was literally in the middle of a field and our neighbors were far away. He worked nights and I never liked how dark and quiet it was. On the night he was working, I fell asleep and had a dream about him. In the dream, he was standing on the edge of a cliff (like the Grand Canyon), looking out at the view."
"I tried many times to get his attention but he wouldn't acknowledge me. He was just staring straight ahead. After ignoring me for a while, he abruptly turned to me and grabbed the outside of my arms firmly. His face looked panicked and he said, '(name), there's somebody in the house.'"
"Like the movies, my eyes shot open and I woke up with my blood running cold. I lay in bed silently, listening for any sound. I was even more terrified when the dog woke up almost immediately, started barking, and ran out his dog door, into the yard. What did he hear?"
"I never saw or heard anything out of place. I couldn't see anything outside in the dark. The dog came back in and fell asleep. I stayed up the rest of the night, totally creeped out."
bae_guevara_
Outside my Body
Shirley Manson Transformation GIF by GarbageGiphy"I was walking to a college class and felt as if I'd suddenly stepped outside of my body and was watching myself move around like a puppeteer."
"It lasted for about 10 minutes while I called a parent to ground myself to reality. Happened again the next week for a smaller amount of time. I'm guessing it was some kind of stress-induced disassociation episode since it was midterms season and my first semester away from home."
I_Ace_English
College can drive anyone to insanity.
An always out of body experience.
While dating can be a wonderful experience, it can also be unnecessarily complicated and not all it's cracked up to be.
For some, it's simply easier to remain single and independent, rather than to be left guessing by a potential partner.
Redditor chewysnacc asked:
"What is stopping you from getting a partner right now?"
Lack of Communication
"It kinda seems like everyone I meet and am interested in is already dating/in a situation with someone. I get plenty of connections on dating apps but they usually just stop replying."
- TwoChaptersIn
Missed Opportunities
"I’m too shy and don’t meet new people. My life is a cycle of waking up, university, sleep, and when I get opportunities, I don’t take them."
- Arcofly
Grief Takes a Toll
"I just lost my wife after years of illness and have no desire for another relationship."
- gtnair
"It's been four years now since her death after a three and a half year fight that she put up. We spent 12 years together and I still just can't bring myself to really go out there again when all I want is her back."
- Anunnaki2522
Feeling Unworthy
"Being a 62-year-old dishwasher with no money."
- thomas4004
"I met my current partner while I was a dishwasher. There are people out there for everyone. Don't focus on what you don't have."
- JustwantedAUsername
In Need of a Solo Journey
"I'm just not ready for one. The biggest reason is laziness, probably."
"The idea of being in a relationship is way more appealing than the actual responsibilities involved in my current stage. Relationships take work, and I'm not gonna just half-a** it like an a**hole when I can't guarantee that I'd fully commit."
"I'd just be wasting somebody's time and that's not fair to them. Plus, there are plenty of things that I'm already not putting enough time into that are way more pressing.""
- PEEWUN
"Yeah. I hear this."
"It’s not necessarily that I’m too lazy to get into a relationship and be with someone. Instead, after six months, I start becoming 'lazy' and want to do my own things by myself waaaaay more frequently, and it’s pushed every girl I’ve been with away."
"I’m probably destined to remain single. However, I’ve become entirely content with that. Sometimes I do miss having a partner and the advantages of having a partner, but those reasons are purely selfish on my own part."
"Partly blame being an only child with parents that both worked 60+ hours a week. I’m far from upset by it though. Instead, I cherish the fact that I can be nearly 100% content being alone."
- Blacksheepoftheworld
Self-Improvement Era
"Just got out of a toxic relationship where we both played our part in being toxic. I‘m currently working on myself so it doesn’t happen in my next relationship again."
- Crounty
"I'm working on myself. I'm in no position to date anybody and have nothing substantial to give another person right now. I need everything I have to fix me."
- scienceforbid
Procrastination: The Dating Edition
"Pragmatically speaking? Nothing really, maybe some internalized form of procrastination?"
"I keep myself decently well-maintained mentally, emotionally, and physically. Career-wise/professionally, I've built myself up as a pretty well-rounded person and although I've still got a ways to go, I'm decently stable with my currently established work-life balance."
"And I'm also a decently well-socialized person who interacts well with the public, can hold a conversation, and is decent at paying attention to social cues and body language."
"If I actually tried to get into the dating game, I'm decently confident that I could do okay for myself and my partner; but I guess I just haven't had a reason to actually take that initiative step..."
- mythrilcrafter
The Introvert Has Entered the Chat
"My pathetic social battery and conversational skills."
- Capt-N3M0
Updated Priorities
"I'm divorced with a three-year-old boy in my mid-30s."
"It’s a minefield out here, and my threshold for nonsense is way lower than my threshold for loneliness."
- ChickensPickins
Ableist Thinking
"My wheelchair. I’m completely self-sufficient and independent. I’m a moderately attractive 29-year-old male, I’m in good shape and have a very active and athletic background."
"Girls simply won’t look past it and treat me like a human. I don’t identify as a wheelchair or as disabled, I identify as human, treat me like one."
- DocShaayy
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
"I don't go to places where it is socially acceptable to approach women often. I hate loud a** clubs, don't go to many concerts, and really don't go to bars much. I don't really have a friend group, either. Even when I do go, I don't even know how to do it. I can talk to them, but that never goes anywhere."
- HooterEnthusiast
Prioritizing Trust
"Just some trust issues and with no one around me who is genuinely interested in getting a long-lasting relationship."
- lilac_skyy
Dating in Real-Time
"Maybe it's just not the right time for me."
- common_Database_1322
"Sitcoms and tv/social make everything appear like it happens fast."
"Time in real life is an important factor."
"'Right Now' only works for people who have the privilege to choose and we all know if you have the privilege to choose, you have the power to wait."
"Life is crazy."
- typesett
Social Cues
"I am a high functioning Autistic and have issues interacting with strangers. My looks are good enough to get dates with women I find attractive, but they are generally put off by my lack of eye contact and I'm unable to tell if they like me or not."
"I've actually botched quite a few dates where I thought they weren't into me, but I thought we'd make good friends so I stated so. They stopped talking to me after that."
- MrStealYoBichonFrise
A New Season in Life
"Just got out of a marriage with someone I’ve spent 12 years with. I’m starting to enjoy my new freedom. I get to do what I want when I want. I don’t have to worry about explaining any purchases. I’ve been able to give up weed since I’m not around her."
"Even though it was a traumatic experience initially, I’m starting to thrive and my friends and family have noticed a difference in my attitude and anxiety. Even though she was a big part of my life and I still feel love for her, it’s becoming clear that our time together has come to an end. We were what we needed for that season in life."
"Plus I got an awesome kid out of it."
- No_Key_6276
This conversation was a great reminder of how similar we all are, in the sense of experiencing insecurities and living through parts of our lives when it's more important to work on ourselves than to develop a new relationship.
But there was hope in these responses, as well. Most of these reasons are temporary, but even if they are long-lasting, there are others who have managed to date under those same conditions.