The blockbuster movie "The Hangover" is just entertainment, not a blueprint for a fun night out before your I Do's.
A night of abandon that is recorded in the friendship history books. But all the activities included in those evenings should be within reason! Remember you're still committed to this other person. You're just out for a good time, you're not single for a day. So let's not get too crazy!
Redditor theukmoody wondered People who have witnessed a "There's not going to be a wedding" moment following a bachelor/bachelorette party: what went down? Gird your loins kids!
That old spark is dangerous...Giphy
My wife's friend called off her wedding a week before the ceremony. She lived several hundred miles away for school but came back to her hometown two weeks before the wedding to make sure everything was lined up and have her bachelorette party. In the course of her visit, she came across an old boyfriend (who was also engaged) and things "sparked" up again. They agreed they should each leave their fiancés and give their relationship another shot.
Turns out, he didn't keep up his end of the bargain, and she is still single today.
My dad and his friends took a buddy by canoe to an island to get drunk the night before the wedding. He told them all he didn't want to go through with it but couldn't figure out how to get out of it. When he woke up in the morning, they had stranded him on the island, he missed the wedding, his buddies were branded as the jerks. Groom to be was relieved.
Calling Betty Ford...
I see a lot of bachelor and bachelorette parties in my line of work. I actually have a few of these memories.
The first that comes to mind was an interesting night where the bachelor party was happening at one bar and the bachelorette party was in the bar down the block. At the groom to be's party I get a call for help from the place. It's a tame security call. Just a couple getting it on in a bathroom. The bar wanted them booted. I find out the dude is the groom to be and the girl is just some random chick. The chick goes off on her own and now I'm with the groom outside. He's drunk and almost uncontrollable. I am trying to find him a way home safe. His bros were all drunk and kept the party going without him. After a while, the bride to be and her gals come walking down the street. A couple people around chime in and tell her why I am there dealing with him. She breaks down and calls the wedding off right there. He ended up going to detox that night.
"She's" the one!Giphy
I traveled with my wife (then girlfriend) to a wedding she was in. I told my wife there is something going on between the bride and the maid of honor. She laughed. Two weeks after the wedding the brides Facebook goes dark. The bride and maid of honor are now living together in another state. I still talk about how I called it within an hour of meeting them. Poor groom... super nice dude.
Boo she is cray! Run!Giphy
I know a guy who seemingly had his life together: great career, lots of friends, beautiful fiancee.
He had a tendency to drink too much while partying, and a few weeks before the wedding he woke up in the hospital with serious injuries due to a non-automotive drunken accident. The scariest part for him was that he didnt remember a thing past leaving the party to walk home. Did he fall and hit his head? Did someone attack him and leave him for dead?
The thought of that scared him, and he decided to sober up. It also caused him to reflect on his life, and he realized his fiancee was manipulative, controlling, and he'd never be happy living with someone like that. He has some long term damage from the injury, but he's still sober, spends much of his free time for a charitable cause, and dodged a serious bullet (a bad marriage) as a result of that horrible injury so he oddly came out ahead in the end.
- A wedding came in from out of town, the bride/groom hadn't had a stag/hen do so decided the night before that the men and woman would split up and each have their own party. The men had a small cocktail bar and the women took the restaurant. I was meant to be working the main bar but got asked by a female colleague to cover the cocktail bar as the men were getting rowdy and making comments - no problem. Got in there and its just a group of old mates getting hammered, pretty standard stuff, until the stripper arrived. She did a full show, the groom has to remove her underwear with his teeth. All was well until the women found out and called off the wedding - shouting matches went on well into the early hours. The wedding did go ahead, but you could tell there was awkwardness in the air.
- The bride came to the bar asking if we had seen the groom as he was needed for some photographs or cutting the cake, can't quite remember. None of the staff had seen him so she went outside, only to return a few minutes later in tears. She had caught the groom getting with the Maid of Honor...her sister. All out family war commenced with extra guests just sitting there enjoying the buffet. Worst part was hearing the bride cry "I can't believe this happened again", I really felt bad for her because she was lovely. 8bitbenben
The bartender holds the secrets...Giphy
I bartend weddings fairly often and work directly with wedding planners all the time and meet with the bride and groom to be to talk things through and create a sense of familiarity. Each time I met the groom he just kind of seemed out of it but I chalked it up to stress. Day of the wedding before the ceremony the wedding planner comes over and asks for a couple shots for herself, she doesn't drink on jobs so I ask her why. Apparently things were about to get started but the groom was missing and wasn't responding to phone calls so everyone is looking for him then one of the brides maids disappears.
Not long after the brother of the groom gets a text from the groom saying he and the brides maid are in love and they're running away to elope and that he'll call him after. Everyone is getting antsy waiting for things to start and they've all been waiting like 2 hours. Now the wedding planner has to tell 150 people that the wedding is off and explain to the parents what happened while the wedding party is consoling the bride.
Ex-girlfriend was going to a friend of a friends bachelorette party, mainly for her friend who didn't want to go solo.
Anyway, I knew they were going to a strip club and expected to hear all about those shenanigans. She text me when they were leaving, the bride had payed for two of the strippers to come back with them. They went back and the show continued. Everyone seemed like they were having fun, but generally playing by the rules. Nothing that doesn't go on at tons of bachelorette parties.
At some point things took a turn.Then, things went the way they usually do with sexually charged people. People started screwing. Turned into two of the girls having sex with the strippers. Then the bride.
There was no wedding.
Wedding Photographer here - This happened with a couple back in 2015.
Night before the wedding, all the bridal party got together at the hotel, partied, and drank a LOT. I show up the next morning 8am after a 2 hour drive to be told by the hotel receptionist, that there was not going to be a wedding.
Apparently a large fight broke out between the groomsman and bridesmaids. Money to pay then vendors was stolen. The ceremony was supposed to be at 11am that day. After about 2 minutes of WTF is going on here, nobody called and told me. I called the bride's mother - and she stated that she was off to pick up the bride and groom, sit them down, and still try to have a wedding.
Fast forward a couple hours, the groom showed up drunk out of his mind around 10am, guests were already showing up, the bride finally showed around 11:30 - noon time, and there was a ceremony at 1pm. Yes - they still got married. The groom was drunk the whole day, the couple argued a ton.
Needless to say... It was an eventful day.
Dear Jane... I'm a little...Giphy
A friend of mine in college had been engaged to her high school sweet heart. Plan was for them to get married after she graduated. She was one of those that dreamed of her wedding since she was a little girl. She had been planning FOREVER!!! A week before the wedding, he leaves without a trace, except a note saying I can't marry you. She was devastated. We still had a party with the wedding cake, food, etc. because it had all been paid for already. Saddest party ever. She ran into him a few years later at an 80's dance club wearing a mesh shirt and a taxi hat making out with a dude. Saw it coming!!!
Birds of a Feather...Giphy
Both parties happened same night same location as they didn't trust each other. Bachelorette and her maid of honor snuck off mid party to go up stairs to a room they booked to have sex with some random people.
Don't worry the bachelor was a scum too, at some point during their relationship he poked holes in condoms so she'd get pregnant and stay.
Hey girl hey/Ooops...
Not because of the party but still good. Day of the wedding Groom's family is patiently waiting. Bride's family hasn't shown. Bride's mother finally arrives and says that Bride has discovered Groom has a second fiancee in another state and wedding is off. Rehearsal dinner photos on Facebook and someone tagged the wrong girl assuming that was his fiancee he had been talking about. Except it was the other fiancee. So Bride see her tagged as someone else and messages from out of town friends about "Cant wait to meet her why wasn't I invited?"
This be like Jerry Springer meets Maury while at a UFC match! It's awesome!Giphy
Strip club manager here,
Funniest thing I've ever seen. 5 man bachelor party comes into work. Kinda tipsy and having a good time but not being disruptive. They are hanging out for a while and they are great, throwing money and overall being pleasant. At this point they have done nothing wrong. About 2 hours in, my front door flings open and in barge 4 very very drunk women. They storm right past security, make a beeline for the group and what I later learned was the bride, proceeds to beat the absolute crap out of the groom. Then 2 of the other ladies proceed to botch at than attack the best man and another guy. Me and my team bolt over to try and separate the cluster that just transpired pulling the ladies off the guys who looked just as surprised as we were.
We drag them outside and the guys all follow out. The bride start going absolutely nuts on the groom saying how she can't believe he'd go to a strip club to see naked women before their wedding. The groom starts yelling saying it's not a big deal etc. The maid of honor and best man (who were apparently married) also are having the same discussion.
The fun really gets turned to 11 when the quiet female (up to this point) walks up and slaps the dog crap out of the groom wondering why she wasn't good enough. Apparently they had dated years ago and she never got over him. Also apparently the bride did NOT know this information. Bridezilla goes OFF. Start beating the crap out of quiet chick. While groom, me and another security guy are trying to stop a murder in my parking lot, best man and maid of honor are still arguing. Once we separate bride and quiet chick, all we hear is best man scream forget this! Walks over, tells groom he screwed the bride like 3 years ago at a party with the maid of honor and he didn't want him to marry her.
Groom surprisingly is calm... turns to bride and says the wedding was off. She starts freaking out crying apologizing and begging as he walks in the club to pay his tab...
Craziest night at work ever....
Always check who you're emailing
I was two weeks away from getting married, ex went off with her friends for Bachelorette party two in the morning I get a email from the maid of honor it was supposed to be sent to her friends and my name was accidentally selected, the email contained a video of my bride to be performing oral on the male strippers. The next day we were supposed to finalize some plans when the bride to be and maid of honor showed up to pick me up i just pointed at the computer... bride went pale then spent the next eight hours attempting to explain what was going on, then it turned into a horrible mistake, I think at some point I passed out because i had started drinking right after seeing the video and just didn't stop.
Thank her for her service?Giphy
Military idiot in my old unit had a bachelor party at a (very nasty) strip club and screwed a stripper in front of his buddies in the private room. Of course word about this spread like wildfire in the unit and confirmed by the dozen of guys that were in the room when it happened, military spouses gossip and talk and soon the wife found out and they were divorced less than a month later.
I'm still friends with the groom on FB and he is still a idiot.
Dodged A Bullet
My wife had a friend whose fiancee called off the wedding after he found out she had been with a black guy... years before they even started dating.
Always trust your gut...Giphy
This happened to one of my oldest friends who I met in preschool, our families were friends, they moved out of state in middle school but we kept in touch. Cut to our 20s- He gets engaged to his gf that he was living with, everything sounds good, I got the invite and was making plans to travel for the wedding. They had a joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas with their wedding party and I coincidentally was out there the same weekend visiting family, so I joined them out one night.
It was awkward AF. I can't really describe the tension. Fiancé didn't even say hi or acknowledge me when I said congrats (first time meeting her too). Everything was disorganized, no one knew what was going on, we kinda wandered from place to place til we settled at a bar in a hotel. I never saw the bride and groom next to each other all night let alone talking. They got in different cabs from one place to the other even though it was not separated by guys and girls, but one big party. I ended up hanging out mostly with my friend's older brother and his gf. I got the weirdest vibe off the situation and when I got back I told my SO I wanted to hold off buying the plane tickets and wasn't sure I wanted to make the effort and pay a lot of money to travel to a wedding that I felt so uneasy about.
Maybe two weeks later my friend calls to ask if I've bought tickets yet. Not yet... Good he says, the wedding is off. Fiancé decided she was in love with one of the groomsmen and she moved in with him. The groomsman that lived rightnext door to them. She claims she never cheated while they were together and it just happened... right. I think she and groomsman got married some time later, but my friend was stuck in the lease living next to them for several months.
Shots for the groom... I mean the birthday boy!
It was a month before my scheduled wedding and I was getting everything ready. In the meantime all of my close friends in my wedding party came out to celebrate my bachelor party with some drinking, floating, sky diving, etc. Well the night before they get there, my now ex-fiance of 8 years says that she no longer wants to go through with the wedding. So I spend the morning my friends are there calling around to friends, family, reservation services and explaining the news (completing blindsided). Come to find out she had cheated on me and had been feeling that way "for awhile" but didn't share this with me until the day of my Birthday... the day before my friends visit for a few days.
Needless to say the plans changed a bit and it turned into my Birthday party instead. Was pretty awful but I ended up having a good time with best friends.
Much happier now with my soul mate and so thankful that things worked out the way they did!
What happens in Vegas... may destroy your life!
Bachelor party went on a cruise and never left the ship. Ate too much and drank a lot. Meanwhile the bachelorette party went to Vegas. The bride banged one of the strippers and two of the bridesmaids hooked up with old boyfriends who just happened to be there. The wedding never happened. But the bridesmaids are now both engaged to their respective boyfriends (the ones that they cheated on) and planning a double bachelorette party in..... you guessed it..... Las Vegas.
Left foot green...Giphy
Three of us guys were best friends since high school - we'll say it's Billy (guy getting married), Joel (one of the 3 amigos), Martin (me). Fast forward to about age 23 - Billy is getting married to this girl who was 19 at the time. Night of the bachelor party, somehow Joel and I are alone with the bride-to-be. She's got a few drinks in her, and decides to seriously proposition Joel for sex. We thought long and hard about telling Billy, but given previous experiences (we told him about an Ex doing some shady crap and he proceeded to stop talking to us until they broke up), we decided against it. They did get married... 6 months in he got home early from work and walked in on her in the middle of taking her clothes off in the living room with another dude. While they might have just been starting an innocent game of naked twister, he decided to divorce her.
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They say you can never have enough of a good thing, but we all know there's plenty of stuff that you'd like to just go, "Oh, no thank you" about and that would be that.
Unfortunately, that pretty much never actually works.
Try telling the electric company "no thanks" when the way too high bill comes, or just putting up a hand to decline work for the next week or so because you're just kind of over it.
Consequences and repercussions, folks. But you've got to admit some stuff would just be better if it was... less.
Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At WorkExcited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Average work hours"
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
"My nose hair."
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
Lines For FunEpisode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Lines at any amusement park."
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
"You took the words right out my mouth"
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
RestTired Baby GIFGiphy
"The amount of time you need to sleep"
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
"Supreme court appointments."
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
NFLCollege Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
Life is a mystery full of mysteries.
Some we'll finally get, some will stay a conundrum forever.
Sometimes no matter how much we study or agonize over a piece of information, it just doesn't click.
But that's okay, we're all here to commiserate.
RedditorDangerous_Mobile9188 wanted to discuss what aspects of life still leave confusion.
"What do you genuinely not understand?"
Life is full of quandaries that I give up on trying to figure out.
Everywhere?Emoji Corona GIF by BallcomGiphy
"Why people can't use a public restroom without literally pooping all over the freaking toilet."
Around the grooves...
"How a single needle can run through the grooves on a record and produce a fully layered and 'separated' sound. I mean, I get how it works in theory. But like... how TF does it work?"
"I know how it works, and I understand how it works, and I was gleefully trying to convey this knowledge to a friend when I realized that I am not able to explain how it works, which essentially means that I don’t actually get how it works."
"The thought process of a cat trying to jump on a shelf that is clearly filled with stuff and doesn't have space for it to land safely."
"The opposite, actually... how on earth does my cat jump on a shelf filled with stuff and somehow always land elegantly with all four paws between all the stuff without dropping a single thing? It surprises me every time."
"50% of cats have a 6th sense to avoid everything and 50% of cats are clumsy as hell. 100% of cats think they have the skill though."
"How consciousness works."
"I'm shocked no one has replied to this. Because yea. I haven't the slightest clue and i honestly don't think scientists know exactly how either. Such a complex system that turns into our thoughts and feelings, this is one of those things that REALLY made me appreciate the intricacies of our bodies."
10/10So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Every time my grandmother sees me, I seem to grow taller and more attractive."
I love grandmas. They understand everything.
S.O.SRole Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"How people can raise a functioning family at the age of 18 or 19? I can't even hold my own life together."
"Squatter rights! They confuse the hell outta me."
"Right! So you’re telling me, I can get evicted/foreclosed for missing some payments… but you can’t get rid of squatters who declare a house theirs ? I should just become a squatter then haha."
"Squatting is basically the same. It's not that they just get to live there, but the landlord has to use the proper legal mechanism (eviction) to get rid of them. And sometimes, that can take quite some time."
"How crypto mining works... like what exactly are these huge setups doing and why do GPUs matter so much? I've read several articles about it and I still don't get it."
"This is an oversimplification, but they're trying to solve a math problem. If they get the answer, they get rewarded with crypto. But the math problem is very very hard. There's no 'steps' to find the answer, it's just guess and check."
"So you need to make as many guesses as possible to see if one of your guesses is right. And it just so happens that GPUs are very good at making these guesses. So if 1 GPU can make let's say 22,000 guesses every second, then two GPUs can make 44,000 guesses every second. 10 GPUs can make 220,000 guesses every second, and so on."
"The wave-particle duality."
"This is the one man. For me this is the biggest mystery. Look, I don't care how the universe came to be. I mean I do, but this is much crazier to me. HOW DOES REALITY REACT DIFFERENTLY BASED ON OBSERVATION ALONE I sear this haunts me at night. Do i even exist man."
"Long story short, observing something at the quantum level is not as benign as observing, say, a runner on a racetrack. In observing something so small, the mere act of doing so affects the behavior/outcome. Imagine having to knock the aforementioned runner over in order to know where they are on the track. That's more or less how it was explained to me."
MagicRoss Mcelwee Photography GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
"Cameras, I’ve been explained and seen explanations 100 times. It’s still magic to me."
Maybe there are just somethings we're not meant to understand.
We all want to attain it.
Some people dedicate their lives to having it.
But who can say what is and is not attractive?
The older you get, the more serious and realistic you get with the topic.
And grapple with whether it really matters.
RedditorBig-Courage-7297 wanted to know what some people really thought when they looked into a mirror.
"How hot do you think you are? Why?"
Depending on the minute and the era, I fluctuate in my response. Oh, and depending on my sodium intake.
Middle of the way...Mackenzie Ziegler Makeup GIF by Brat TVGiphy
"5, am not ugly nor a beauty."
"'Perfectly balanced, as all things should be' JK... you probably look great."
"I give myself a solid 'alright for an old guy' out of 10."
"Comparing myself to when I was young I feel like a 2. However if I look around at other guys my age, I'm doing pretty great. Simply still having a full head of hair puts me in the top 15%."
"Occupying the latter half of the age bracket here too. And while I’ve never considered myself wildly attractive, one of my wife’s work friends once remarked to her, 'you didn’t tell me your husband was a silver fox!' I keep that one in my back pocket for gloomy days."
"My mom said I'm a 10/10."
"His mom also said I’m a 10/10. Im starting to think she says that about everyone who’s been inside her."
"Don't listen to these jealous haters you be that 10/10 and strut your stuff."
"Learning to love yourself, doesn't mean you don't see your own flaws but know where to improve and where and how you want to grow. Appreciate the goodness within even when it's hard, and work to have your ideal to be reflected on the outside too. Loving and forgiving yourself is the greatest peace you'll know, because everyone else might be gone at the end and you'll be left with you and your memories, make good ones. Spread positivity. 💕"
Changes with time...
"I think most people's scores fluctuate with age. I like to think I was a solid 8/10 in my early 20s. Then my metabolism crashed and I was working a desk job. I got real fat, got lazy, less effort, dropped to a 4/10. Got my s**t back together, lost the weight, started putting in the effort again, back up to an 8 if not higher in my 30s."
"Then I had a traumatic event in my life and I slipped into a dark place for many years. I put on weight again, stopped putting in the effort, general depression stuff, 5/10. Now I'm in my 40s, working on keeping my weight down, putting in some effort, solid 6/10..."
"But no matter what has happened, how low or high I've been... my wife has always considered me a 10. She's the best woman I've ever met and will always be a 10 to me too."
Oof...Freaks And Geeks Photo GIFGiphy
"6 or 7 on a good day? 1 when I try to take a picture of myself."
God I hated picture day. Still do.
FreshBad Hair GIF by TV LandGiphy
"Solid 5. 6 on a good day with a fresh haircut."
"I have days where I think 'God da*n, look at me. I’m God’s gift,' and then other days where I think 'how does every mirror not break?'"
"Actually though. Part of it is I used to be super athletic but due to an injury now can’t, but go**amn, I could look quite literally like a sculpture of a Greek god or hero, but also a balding baby-faced creep. Also occasionally homeless. More often the two latter than the former"
"I think I was a 6 growing up. But now that I've matured into my late 30s I'm a solid 7."
"This is me except as a kid I’d give myself a 3. Long-haired greaseball in my teens but now in my 30s, exercising for the past decade has really helped me out. Solid 7/10."
"Man, I went from 4 to 8 to 5 in the span of 20 years. Metabolism is a *itch."
"I just remind myself that the me that looks bad in in some pictures/at some angles is the same me that looks good in other pictures/other angles, just a different version. There are some angles and types of lighting and mirrors that for whatever reason, will make just about anybody look bad. There is no such thing as someone who looks good when the phone camera opens itself and shows a view of you from under your chin."
Boy Magnetichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy
"I was objectively pretty hot when I was younger. Now I am an older hot, which is weird. Younger guys really dig me but I’m like, you weren’t even born when the Challenger blew up and I was at Uni."
We're all beautiful. Just keep saying that. Maybe it'll stick.
Humans rarely agree on anything anymore.
So it's refreshing when an agreement is reached among peers.
Even if it's usually about simple or dumb stuff.
RedditorBertarioni85wanted all the gents to sit and discuss some of their universal agreements.
"What is something that all men could agree on?"
PerfectRobert Redford Nod GIFGiphy
"The nod really is great and so versatile. It's like a 'What's up man... everything cool' Ya me too. 'Wulp see ya later.' Just perfect."
"If there can be an empty urinal between us, make it so."
"There are men out there that break this rule! I was the only one, and at the far right end of a row of 4 or 5 urinals. Man walks in and pulls up right beside me, unzips, and let’s her flow, all while audibly exhaling in relief.
When you gotta go!
"That we are happy we get the short bathroom line."
To add to this, I still marvel in amazement and am grateful when I walk into a bathroom at a stadium or sporting event and it's just an endless column of empty urinals. Then you see the ladies bathroom line wrapping around two different corners. There's so much room for activities in the men's bathroom."
"Lady Professor in college (2008) said I’d make an incredible husband to my wife someday. Girl at the drive thru line said I had a cool car in September of 2015. Lady gas station attendant complimented my outfit that day and said I had a good vibe (2018). Cashier said I was handsome while ringing me up a couple weeks ago. Point is we never forget when we get complimented out of the blue."
PowerHappy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy
"Click the tongs a couple times to make sure they work first."
"Makes me feel like a crab… a very powerful crab."
Wow. Guys are so easy. Like super easy...
Twicetalking episode 15 GIFGiphy
"Whenever we pick up a drill we have to do the bzzt... bzzt twice. No more, no less."
Sticks and Stones
"I picked it up because it’s like, a really good stick."
"I wonder if that's instinctive. I've read before that human anatomy is almost perfectly engineered for throwing and thrusting spears. Maybe men have evolved to be able to identify really good sticks and even now we're drawn to them as a vestigial trait because instead of relying on claws or teeth, our ancestors needed good spears."
On the X
"Put two men on the phone, and we’ll be done talking in two minutes. Put two men on Xbox live, and oh is it 2:00am? I should probably go to bed… after this game."
"This is so true. A few weeks back a good friend called me at 10 at night because he’s been having a tough time with fighting depression and all that. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, cheered him up a bit and offered to keep the chat going on xbox live. Turned into an hour and half of a good time talking and playing COD."
Gotta have it.
"It's better to have and not need than to need and not have."
"It's so bloody annoying not having the right tool for the job when you need it. I so long for the day when I will have a fully equipped garage with every tool I would ever need, to fix everything that needs fixing."
"My sister's car has cutlery, both steel and disposable. Have sewing kit, a flask, a bento box, and a complete stationery set. But, they don't even have a freaking umbrella and jumper in the car. Like, wtf. And mind you, we live in a tropical country where you should always assume every day is a rainy day."
Nothing!Ellen Page Sony GIF by FlatlinersGiphy
"Sometimes... I really am thinking about nothing. Literally... Flatline, nobody home, crickets in the field."
Ah men. What a quirky part of the species.