Kids are creepy. That is a fact. If you'd like to dispute it, I invite you to read this article.
Many thanks to the Redditors who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article.
1. I had a child tell me she wanted to jackhammer people to death and then build a playground out of their arms and legs...
2. I was watching my cousin's 7 year old, and my cousin had just gotten remarried. She wanted to tell me stories of her own after we read a book, and ALL of them included her brutally murdering her new stepmom.
Stabbing her, ripping her limbs off, and throwing her into a pit of hungry dogs were just a few of the things she did to her stepmom in these stories. I asked her to give me a story with a happy ending instead and she said that those stories did have happy endings...
3. Put the nephew down for a nap. Heard him making a fuss in his room so I went to talk him back into a nap. He's sitting in his bed, staring at a wall. I asked him to lay back down. He says, "Don't talk to him while we're playing."
4. My god daughter used to talk of seeing the people under her porch and also seeing her "brother" who was stillborn but the creepiest thing she's ever said was when she was 5 and looked straight at me and said " your master wishes to see you in the pit" and then turned and skipped away, the pit is what her parents call hell.
5. I used to nanny full-time. The parents asked me to stay late (almost overnight) so they could go on a date that day.
I put all of the kids to bed and loaded up a movie the mom had suggested. It was a horror movie called the Babbadook.
Part of the way through the movie, I paused it because I heard the youngest coming down the stairs.
She comes up to me, looks me dead in the eyes, and says "Do you want to die?" Without hesitation, I told her "No, go back to bed."
As soon as I hit play, the little boy (about the same age as their youngest) asks the mother "Do you want to die?"
I thought it was freaky, but I chalked it up to her maybe seeing the movie with her family already.
When her parents get home, I told her mother about it. She has never seen the movie.... Apparently she just does this sometimes while sleep walking.
6. I used to babysit my dad's friend's children. They were two, sweet little girls who were very easy to look after.
The only problem was their house. They used to make me promise that the 'white man' in the house wasn't going to come and look at them while they were sleeping.
I eventually asked their dad what they might be talking about because they brought up the white man every time. He says, 'Oh, that's just the ghost we have in the house. Don't worry about him'.
7. I had accidentally broken his recorder by not catching in time by the time it slid off the table.
Boy I'm babysitting: "Hey, don't break things. When you break things, you hurt feelings. You hurt my feelings. I thought we were friends."
Me: "That was an acc-"
Boy: "I am self-aware."
The fact he pointed out that he was self-aware made me laugh and feel creeped out at the same time. Since then, he has been staring at me every time I have to take care of him...
8. Six year old boy got really close to my face and angrily told me he was going to pull out my eyelashes one by one because I wouldn't let him watch a bad movie that came on tv. Around his parents, he acted like a saint and frequently lied and finger-pointed to get out of trouble. Little creep.
9. "I don't want to go upstairs alone. The man in my room might be there."
She explained she saw him in her room at night. I told her it was probably just her dad checking on her.
She said no, because this guy was tall and skinny and her dad was short and husky. She was 3.
10. "You make good pizza. (I do, it was homemade). Do I need to lick your weewee?"
She was 9. 15 year old me called my dad, and then CPS. I have never seen a social worker sprint so fast from her car. Her mom's boyfriend had been abusing her, apparently for 2 years. Her dad got custody.
11. I once found my niece dead asleep sitting in the middle of the living room rocking back and forth and mumbling. Freaked me out until we found out she's a sleepwalker and sleep talker.
12. Speaking on my moms behalf...
While babysitting a little girl. The girl looked at my mom and said, "I could kill you right now and nobody would even know"
13. Was in the kitchen making a PB&J sandwich for the kid, and he comes in and sits down. He seems to look like he's thinking about something and then he looks at me dead in the eyes and says "If I killed somebody would anybody know it ever happened if I just ate the body in a sandwich?" I hid the knives from him after that.
14. I was on a bus recently and we were stopped outside a walk-in clinic. A little girl in the seat in front of me turned to her dad and said,
"Death is the poor man's doctor."
And that was that.
15. When I was babysitting my nephew I was holding him up on the deck just after dinner. He looked to a dark part off the side of the deck and pointed and said, "Look at the people!" I said "buddy there is no one over there", to which he replied "oh yes there are while gesturing at individual spots in the yard. I did not sleep well.
16. My niece was around the age of 9, and I only had to take care of her for a couple of hours.
In front of her parents and in school, she still had remnants of 'baby-talk', and thus had went to a speaking-coach for around a year... well, the moment her parents left, she whipped out the most affectionate, almost royalty-like accent.
I shat a concrete block out of pure shock...
17. I babysat a little girl quite a few years ago. One day we were sitting down having lunch and she looked at me and asked when her little brother would be able to play. I was very confused as her mother wasn't expecting and she was an only child. A few months later her mom announced she was pregnant. When the gender was revealed a while later, it was a little boy. I was a bit freaked out.
18. I was playing with the kid (2 years old) outside in the snow and it started to get cold so I picked them up and was carrying them back inside when they pointed at the tree line and asked me: "Who's that?"
The house was five miles away from any other houses at a pretty secluded spot. There shouldn't be anyone there. I still don't know what's worse, that the kid was playing a creepy joke on me (they were only two), or that there was genuinely someone in the woods.
19. Watching my then 5-year-old cousin and saw him put on a pouty face for his mom - my aunt - before she left, to con her into allowing him to go to bed an hour later. After my aunt left I was discussing my cousin's performance with him and I said to him "You're quite the little con artist, aren't you?", to which he replied "Yeah, little girls are the easiest."
20. I'm the kid in this story! Not exactly a babysitting story, but still a creepy thing to say!
My biological father passed away when I was 3. Apparently, my way of dealing with it was to cheerfully tell anyone we came across (waitresses, cashiers, etc), "My dad is dead!"
My mom tells me I horrified countless people.
21. My nephew (8yo at the time) pointed to an attic access panel and asked what it was.
Me: Oh that's just a crawlspace.
Him: Clownspace? Is that the dead clown room?
22. I was babysitting 4 kids, all under the age of 7, and they asked to watch porn. They knew where their mother kept it in the top of her closet and when I told them they can't because it's not for children, they told me in graphic detail what happens in porn and that their mother always lets them watch it. Even if their mother had paid me for watching them and not disappeared on a drunken bender for 5 days, I'd have never babysat for her again.
23. Babysitting nephew when he was 4 and didn't like that I wasn't playing with him as it was bed time. "Play with me or I'll cut you uncle ***" "What you going to cut me with?" "A knife in the kitchen" I proceeded to take him to the kitchen and asked what knife he wanted to cut me with...
It was a plastic one.
I told him that if he cut me I would make sure it was the last thing he did as the police would arrest him and he would go to the bad boys home and never see his mum again. Went to bed and apologised saying it was only a joke... It didn't seem like a joke the way he said it mind you...
24. The little girl I was babysitting (who I had never met before that time) ran up to me, pointed at my face and said "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ON MAY 27th!" .... she never clarified what year though. This was about 10 years ago.
25. I worked at a summer camp and was in charge of a cabin of twelve girls around the age of 11 for weeks at a time. During one session I had a camper that kinda scarred me (let's call her Susie). Susie would wake up in the middle of the night bawling and my co-counselor and I would take turns trying to soothe her back to sleep. This would happen almost every night and sometimes during the day. She had to be pulled out of her afternoon activities a couple times too so she could calm down.
She was a bit of an outcast in the cabin and we took the dramatic breakdowns as issues with self-esteem or frustrations over trying to fit in. Homesickness is always a possibility too. She had an intelligence and quirkiness about her that made her well-loved by the staff at the camp, but sometimes her sense of humor was difficult for campers to understand. We did the best we could to try to acquaint her with the other girls in the cabin.
One night before bed Susie began to sob again, honestly quite violently this time. I took her outside and she was dry heaving. I kept asking her what's wrong and if she missed home and just trying to figure out how to help. It was time for the other campers to go to bed so I took her on a walk, hoping it would calm her down. As I'm holding her hand and rubbing her back, I just keep telling her that it's going to be okay. She looks me dead in the eye and says "I see him". I ask who. Susie says "the man". I say "Who, honey, who do you see?" She says the "the man in the dark". And she gets so worked up she begins to cry again. I try to calm her down again and she goes on to explain to me that she sees this dark figure sometimes and it gives her a bad feeling. I asked her if he talks to her and she said no. But she did say that he makes her feel sick sometimes and that that's the reason she cries. I asked if her parents knew and she said yes, so I told her that she can always come find me if she "sees him" again and I'll make him go away. It was near the end of her session, so we didn't have anymore major incidents after that.
Part of me really hopes that she's making it up. I can't stand the thought of a child being haunted by whatever she sees, whether it's truly there or not.