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Avid Readers Share The Books They Wish Were Written By Other Authors

Avid Readers Share The Books They Wish Were Written By Other Authors

Avid Readers Share The Books They Wish Were Written By Other Authors

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Sometimes covers, revivals and remakes top the original. A new spin on a classic can be the best way to make it fresh for a new generation or... it can be an UTTER disaster. It all depends on the person swinging the pen. Who hasn't wondered what classic authors could do with re-imagining the world's greatest tales?

Redditor _gham1 asked around to see who could best "cover" current author's works by asking... _If authors 'covered' novels, the way musicians cover songs, which covered novel would you be most excited to read?

SCIENCE FICTION AT IT'S FINEST!

Isaac Asimov covering Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, or Vice Versa, Douglas Adams covering Foundation.

SOME CAN BE A LITTLE ON THE NOSE.

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George Orwell - Atlas Shrugged

GREEN EGGS AND HAM ON THE BATTLEFIELD.

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Dr. Seuss' "The Art of War"

"MAYBE THERE IS A BEAST... MAYBE IT'S ONLY US."

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'Lord of the Flies' by Roald Dahl

AS IF JURASSIC PARK ISN'T SCARY ENOUGH.

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H.P. Lovecraft presents: Jurassic Park

JON SNOW & MICE? YES PLEASE.

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A Song of Mice and Fire by Brian Jacques.

GEORGE R.R. DOES J.K.? THAT'S TOTES SLYTHERIN.

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George RR Martin's lengthy descriptions of Hogwarts feasts.

ANASTASIA STEELS BY JANE AUSTN. WHAT???

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For pure ridiculousness, I'd kill to see how Jane Austen would tackle something like 50 Shades of Grey

PEACE & CARLIN

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Tao Te Ching - George carlin

"Knowing who is an f-ING moron is intelligence; knowing that you aren't an f-ing moron is true wisdom."

"Those who know how life works do not speak. Those who speak are often corn-hole eating mouth breathers that deserve to be tossed into a volcano."

"A man with outward courage dares to die like an f-ing idiot; a man with inner courage dares to live and watch that arrogant a**hole get blown to smithereens."

HOLDEN & HUNTER. ARE YOU READY?

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Catcher in the rye, by Hunter S Thompson.

MAYBE JULIA ROBERTS WILL DO A REMAKE.

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Thomas Pynchon presents Eat, Pray, Love

ERNEST : THAT'S NOT HOT!

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Hemingway covering Paris Hilton's Confession of an Heiress.

MAYBE HE'D MAKE THE FILMS WATCHABLE.

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Stephen King, Twilight.

THE KING CAN JUST MAKE ANYTHING BETTER!

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Dante's Inferno by Stephen King.

SAM I AM! YES SIR!

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50 Shades of Grey by Dr. Seuss

THE PRAIRIE IS ABOUT TO HAVE SOME SERIOUS DRAMA.

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Little House on the Prairie by William Faulkner

WAY TO MAKE LIFE SERIOUS FOR THE YA GROUP.

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Kafka covers the Animorph series.

WILL WOULD BE PROUD!

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Romeo and Juliet by Lemony Snicket.

Dear Viewer,

If you entered this play with the hopes of seeing a light comedy, you would be better off searching elsewhere. This story may begin like a light comedy, when Romeo and Juliet meet and dance at Masquerade Ball, but don't be mistaken. If you know anything about the Montagues and Capulets, then you will know that no friendship between them will last.

In fact, within these scenes, the couple must deal with the horrors of murderous in-laws, poisonous drinks, poetry, and mail arriving late.

I am bound to tell the story of these tragic events, but you are free to exit this theatre and go to A Midsummer Night's Dream next week.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

AS A MANIC DEPRESSIVE I SAY... YAAAASSSSS!!!

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Sylvia Plath's Perks of Being a Wallflower.

KATNISS BROUGHT TO YOU BY 451. PREPARE!

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Ray Bradbury on The Hunger Games trilogy.

NOW THAT IS SOME 50 SHADES FOR THE FAIRYTALE SET....

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Chuck Palahniuk's "The Princess Bride"

People Share The Best Historical Facts They Know About Their Family

"Reddit user ForthrightPedant asked: 'What is a historical fact about your family that you think is kinda neat?'"

Every family has its secrets.

It's up to every new generation to unearth it all.

Don't we all want to know if we're related to famous people?

Or what if we have a familial stake in lands and businesses?

Also, this is a good way to NOT end up dating blood relatives.

The more you know, the less awkward later.

As much as there is a lot of trauma there could be a lot of cool facts to to discuss at parties.

Redditor ForthrightPedant wanted to hear some interesting family histories, so they asked:

"What is a historical fact about your family that you think is kinda neat?"

I don't have any family history.

Of course I've done no investigating.

Maybe I do.

I should look!

Super Talent

Excited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy

"Great-grandpa created the Flintstones. Dan Gordon. Drew lots of Hannah-Barbara cartoons, and directed the first three animated Superman films at the beginning of WW2 as well as several seasons of Popeye, Scooby Doo, Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound."

downnoutsavant

Bad Voyage

"My grandfather disliked America and wanted to return to Ireland. He booked passage on the Titanic’s return voyage. If it wouldn’t have sunk, no of us would be here."

mrseddievedder

"My great-grandmother was a Titanic survivor. She was a steerage-class Lebanese immigrant in an arranged marriage. Her husband went down with the ship but she managed to make it to a lifeboat and made it to the Carpathia. Then she remarried in a Lebanese neighborhood in Virginia. Had it not been for the iceberg that struck and sank the Titanic My family lineage would be different and I wouldn't be here. My family's official toast is 'to the iceberg.'"

jaspersurfer

Forgotten

"My husband's grandfather was one of the 'forgotten soldiers' in Canada. He was a Canadian-born Chinese man who asked the Canadian government to fight for his right to vote and a passport. Even tho he was born in Canada in the 20’s since he was Chinese he was not considered Canadian."

H"e was dropped into the Burma jungle and was told he would likely never return. He was in the 10% that did return. He was given the right to vote, to a passport, and to University."

"His wife is still alive today and my son is named after him."

cowskeeper

​Can you imagine?

"My great-grandmother had 13 kids, so she was pregnant for literally a decade. There’s two hundred of us now, all because of this one woman."

CoverlessSkink

"My great grandma had 14 kids. My grandma was the youngest. She died giving birth to my grandma. The oldest child who was like 22 years old raised my grandma. My great-grandfather remarried a woman who had 10 kids of her own. My grandma would tell me stories of them all living together. Can u imagine? 😦."

Content_Pool_1391

Long Ago

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"The land my dad was raised on and my cousins still live on was deeded to the family by George Washington as compensation for service during the Revolution. There was a document with his signature on it at the courthouse until a fire destroyed the records a few decades ago."

mustbethedragon

So much land and fortune and HISTORY has been lost due to fire.

Thank God we keep more than paper records now.

Over the Moon

Michael Jackson Dancing GIFGiphy

"My second cousin is David Scott who walked on the Moon and drove the moon buggy. My mom does. He was so busy during the time when I was young that he even said later in life that he wished she’d gotten to know more of his family."

Roadgoddess

The Union

"Great-great-great grandfather on my mom's side was working his field in the part of Virginia that split off and became a new state because they didn't want to secede from The Union. Union soldiers came along looking for conscripts and he was a young, able-bodied man so they told him to come with them. He informed them he was a Quaker and thus a pacifist. According to family lore, that discussion went on for a bit but he would not give in. So they shot him and left him there. Good thing he had a couple of kids well before that day."

SpottyNoonerism

Opportiunities

"My great-grandfather was offered a chance to invest in a new invention by a guy by the name of Alexander Graham Bell. He declined, saying at most there would be one telephone per town."

Carson4307

"That is apparently my family too."

"One uncle apparently built a version of a hot water heater and then sold the design to GE for a good sum back then."

"Another uncle was asked if he wanted to be in a photo during his military service. He said no so they raised the flag on Iwo Jima without him in it."

"No idea if any of these are true, at best they are enhanced truths, but for me, I really hope they are true."

Jormungand1342

Underground

"I have a relative who worked for the Underground Railroad and had a price on her head in the South."

dahlia6767

"My uncle was a carpenter. And was doing restoration work on old houses in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Many of those old, historical homes had underground railroad passageways and hidden walls. He got to see and restore many of them. He had photos of some of the work he was doing and I got to see those as a kid. Living in Southern Ohio, we have a lot of rich underground railroad history here."

AddictiveArtistry

​Family Empire

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"My great-grandfather was the town police chief in the 1920s. His brother was the Mayor. Their cousins ran the casino."

"My family was a smaller version of Boardwalk Empire."

nowhereman136

Wouldn't we all love a show based on our families?

Then that's even more neat family history.

Rolls Royce hood ornament
Matheus Bardemaker on Unsplash

The super wealthy aren't like most people.

How can they be?

They live in a world of rarefied air most people will never even glimpse.

That privilege inevitably warps perspectives.

Keep reading...Show less
Burger and fries on plate
Photo by Haseeb Jamil on Unsplash

A lot of things have gone downhill since the pandemic, and it's made the whole process of bouncing back from those two to three years that much harder.

One thing we can all agree on is the quality of the food that we now find in restaurants, especially the fast-food joints we used to frequent and hit the drive-thru for on the drive home.

Curious what other people thought, Redditor Soy_tu_papi asked:

"What's the worst fast food restaurant?"

Eat... Expensive, Not Fresh

"Subway. The ingredients don't taste fresh. They don't give you enough meat or cheese. The bread tastes sweet. It's not even that cheap anymore."

- Brilliant-Mango-4

There for the Nostalgia

"Tim Hortons. We’re nostalgic for a time when they made fresh donuts and great soup and sandwiches. But that was more than 20 years ago and now everything is just heated from frozen garbage with garbage dish water coffee."

"The only reason they’re around is nostalgia and convenience. Americans for the most part didn’t fall for their crap when they expanded south because they didn’t have one on every corner, and they don’t have the nostalgia, and they already have a s**tty coffee and donut place called Dunkin."

- Strain128

Microwaved Soup

"Really, we all going to pretend like Panera is not fast food?"

- WelderNo6075

"It’s not fast. It's always a 20-minute wait."

- Greedy-Time-3637

"For microwaved soup."

- InsertBlueScreenHere

Hospital Food. Gourmet Prices

"Panera. For when you want hospital food, but you can’t afford the $127,209.00 hospital bill."

- BarnacleMcBarndoor

"Yeah, it’s only $126,208 for Panera."

- sherlock----75

"There is a similar yet worse than Panera hospital food restaurant called Atlanta Bread Company. How these two hell holes stay in business, I have no idea."

- GrandUnhappy9211

New Horizons

"I think KFC abandoned the American market and put all its resources into the Asian market, because omg KFC in Korea is something else. The chicken is breaded perfectly, with no mouth-destroying rock-hard breading and the ratio of breading to actual chicken meat is perfectly balanced."

"Also, the sauce selection; they have so many good sauces. The fries were great too."

- LolitasDaniel

RIP, Potato Wedges

"In my opinion, KFC. They got rid of their beloved potato wedges. The only thing I got there anymore was those and the mashed potatoes."

- dirtymoney

"Wendy’s breakfast potatoes almost fill that hole in my heart."

- Karsa69246

Those Darn Screens

"Any of them that have replaced their menu boards with TV screens that change every 15 seconds so I can't find the price of anything."

- xkulp8

"I hate the TVs. Maybe I'm just a bitter old guy, but they really don't seem to be an improvement. There's just too much going on, and it's too bright. Sure, it's probably more convenient for menu/price changes. But when you add in the cost and electronic waste, it doesn't feel like a net gain."

- BumpyMcBumps

No Longer Affordable

"McDonald’s. They’ve forgotten their role as the place I eat at because I’m broke, probably drunk, and want to fill up for a few bucks. Have you seen their prices lately!?"

- Jlace001

"A quarter pounder meal is over $10. $4 More bucks and you can get a chills old-timer and fries. And they always park you, so not very 'fast,' unless you are talking about the stomach cramps you get after."

- Eric12345678

Define 'Pizza'

"Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready is for when your manager promises you a pizza party when you exceed your sales goal and buys enough for one piece a person, but he's been talking up this party he's going to throw for you all week, so you come in on your day off and see two Hot-N-Ready boxes sitting there and some Dixie cups for water. Sometimes nothing is better, STEVE."

- cold08

"The secret technique for Lil Caesars is to give it another few minutes in the oven/under the broiler at home until it's to your liking."

- KaRabbit

The Great Pizza of the Past

"It hurts me to say this, but Pizza Hut."

"Back in the 80s and early 90s, Pizza Hut was amazing! It's somehow worse than Dominos now. It's a f**king travesty."

- Ocku2

"Their marinara sauce with breadsticks is watery now..."

"My friend and I used to ride our bikes there and play Pac-Man in eighth grade. Their breadsticks and sauce were amazing."

- KkdBaby

Small and Stale

"Whataburger is very hit or miss depending on the individual location. It was also better before it sold out and went national."

- HoovesCarveCrater

"It used to be so good, but it's so bad now. Earlier in the year, I went, and I got a stale bun with a tiny piece of meat they called a hamburger. Then I stupidly went again months later, and got the chicken sandwich. Both the bread and chicken were somehow stale. Never again, it's not worth it."

- user_base56

Belly Bombers, Indeed

"White Castle. I ate there once, and I now know what it feels like to reject an organ."

- flyzapper

"I have a stomach of steel when it comes to fast food. Not even Taco Bell gives me an above-average s**t. But when it comes to White Castle, some things just can't be saved."

- STILETTO_exists

A Rise in Poor Management

"Sonic used to be good."

"I feel for the two workers running the whole place. There used to be a lot of staff to handle the load."

"But now I feel bad going there simply because it's unfair to the workers. Which means corners get cut, things aren't clean, people aren't happy and workers end up catching the blame because there aren't enough of them."

"They really need to get it together. And treat their customers and employees right. It's going to kill their business."

- That_90s_Kid_

"The only Sonic near me stopped serving onion rings, which to me is their best side. And they take for-f**king-ever now to get you food, and half the time it's wrong or half-a**ed. I used to love Sonic, and I still want to and will go there, but every time it's a let-down in some form."

- SweetCosmicPope

"Sonic used to give their managers minority ownership as part of their compensation package. The result was highly motivated managers. Unfortunately, they had to work 80 to 90 hours a week. I thought about getting onboard with them but after using two weeks of vacation from my current job to work there, unpaid, I quickly decided smelling like French fries 24 hours a day, seven days a week was a very bad idea."

- the_beeve

A Series of Failures

"A bad KFC is tough to top, but there are still some amazing ones out there. The key is that it’s busy enough to have fresh chicken and a few employees that aren’t strung out. Not all. Just some."

"Burger King increasingly tastes like the burgers from my elementary school that sat in that weird burger water after being boiled in its own juices. I like their nuggets though."

"What even is Jack in the Box? It’s just some random assortment of food you take kids who can’t agree on what hot garbage they want to eat so you go here and make everyone unhappy."

"I’ve been to Whataburger once and it was bad, but since it’s crazy popular, I assume maybe it was just a bad experience and it was in AZ vs TX."

"I feel like I’m left with Little Caesars at this point, as the person buying those godawful hot and ready things is the epitome of a desperate person just trying to fill their children’s with ‘pizza’, thus the reason why there are any in existence."

- bowindine

So Real for This Answer

"Basically, every single one since the pandemic."

- MythicalMango123

"Dine-in prices for dollar store flavors."

- WannaBeTraveler87

"This is the answer. They are all awful now."

- chris1out

Especially for those of us who had the pleasure of experiencing these food places in the 80s, 90s, and maybe the very earls 2000s, it's terrible to think of how much these places have declined now.

As some Redditors have said, it's almost not worth going to these places anymore. We'd rather preserve the happy memories of going there with our families and friends rather than go for an unhappy meal now.

Red flag
Carson Masterson/Unsplash

If it wasn't for our inner voices warning us about various life predicaments, who knows where we'd end up?

When a salesperson for a product works their charm to persuade us, our instincts may tell us not to rush into purchasing due to the suspicious quality of the product.

When a prospective date shows up in person and they just don't match the impression you got during the online interaction, your gut is telling you to back away.

But sometimes, the warning signs don't come from you.

Strangers online weighed in with their experiences about being tipped off whenRedditor asked:

"What is the biggest red flag you have come across?"

These Redditors discuss polyamory and how it may or may not apply to them.

About Unfaithfulness

"Used polyamory as a scape goat for cheating."

– Helix_On_The_Hill

"I have a friend who claims to be poly. Then she confessed to me that she and her partner hadn't had sex in over a year, supposedly because her prescription meds lowered her libido - so she declared to him she was asexual. Partner just apparently went with it. Last year we went on a group trip overseas, and she immediately f'ked a stranger she met. She told her partner, which made him pretty upset (and he didn't do anything about it other than bottle it up), and that caused some tension during the trip."

"She then explained to me that it's okay to be poly and at the same time refuse to have sex with your primary partner. She offered a compromise to her partner that she would see a sex therapist."

"I ended up biting my tongue (this person reacts badly to getting feedback) and lost a lot of respect for them as a friend, because of the way she treated her partner when it came to sex."

– monkeychasedweasel

Common Strategy

"My Ex used the 'poly so I can cheat' strategy twice because she was disinterested in me. I would go into more detail but I’ve mostly chalked it up to a learning experience, moved on and mostly forgot about it."

"The other thing is that I can be a very clingy person and that’s why the strategy was so effective."

– Helix_On_The_Hill

Updating Your Significant Other

"I decided I'm poly and we're in an open relationship, sorry I didn't tell you until after I cheated".

– anon

"I'm poly. Every once and a while (really only ever seen it online), I'll hear about someone 'coming out' to their partner as poly. Grosses me the hell out."

– petrasdc

Full Transparency

"I would figure that's something you'd mention pretty early on to a potential new partner. Not go 'This isn't what it looks like!' In the middle of things."

– Mike7676

Anger issue is all the rage.

Tipping Point

"I've said it here before on my old account, the biggest red flag is quick to anger. If their default emotion is anger, that's unhealthy. I'm talking about snapping over the smallest mistakes/things. Over the top anger reactions. Any volatile reactions that do not match the situation are huge red flags."

– Practical_Reindeer23

Relationship On The Rocks

"My partner got angry with me while I was having a moment of big overstimulation when we were at a concert, because I physically could not communicate (sometimes that freeze mode really takes hold) and he was trying to get me to leave, as his way of 'fixing' the situation. I at least shook my head no, because I was waiting on the band I wanted to see play, I just couldn’t physically vocalize. I was definitely very tense and was dealing with a lot of ticks, which isn’t normally how I get, but I was trying to handle it on my own, using tapping techniques and things. He got angry that I didn’t do as he wanted and that I didn’t vocalize a response, 'it’s not that hard when someone asks a question for you to answer.'"

"We’ve been together for 7 years and have gone through a roller coaster of changes/self development. But I exploded once I ended up giving in to his wants and leaving the venue."

"I don’t feel supported or listened to or validated, ever. Everything outside of his mindset doesn’t matter to him so why bother discussing anything."

"I hate it here."

– Virtual-Moment-9132

As if first dates weren't already nerve-wracking.

Dating Nature Boy

"The guy would ONLY go on dates in the woods at night. I’m not even kidding. I’d suggest a movie night or a restaurant I wanted to try but it was shut down immediately because he only did dates in the woods. Worst part is I went on 3 of them before I cut him off."

– PixelatedBats

Flashing Warning Sign

"I made out with a guy on a party. He told me 'I have to warn you: I'm really an a**hole.' I was pretty taken aback, then thanked him for the warning and avoided him for the rest of the night."

– skanus_cepelinai

Having Strict Parents

"She asked her mother for permission to eat meat. A 30 year old with a full time job."

– yumsilly

"I had a coworker who had a family tracking app on her phone, but it was her parents tracking her. She was 25."

"She thought it was normal or not a big deal. Her mom would flip out if she did something like go shopping at lunch or spend too much time at the gym."

"Apparently, her mom was super paranoid she was secretly dating 'inferior' men and not the ones she was trying to set up for her daughter."

– ohlookahipster

Year ago I met a guy who was super sweet at work, and there seemed to be a mutual attraction.

However, I didn't jump to pursue anything with him, especially after I found out through a mutual friend that we had conflicting interests.

He was into Nazi uniforms and paraphernalia.

I gradually started disassociating with him because I didn't need that in my life.

It just goes to show, you never really know about a person, even if everything else seems perfect about him.