Average People Try Their Best At Humble-Bragging, And We Applaud Them
Sometimes, you just have a really good day. Sometimes, you feel like you've seized the day and carpe diem-ed at the same time. Internet culture will sometimes knock people down for sharing good news on big accomplishments because they're "bragging." This could be why the humble-brag entered into our vernacular. Speak highly of yourself, but don't be too big of a jerk about it. Reddit user, r/ThirdEncounter, wanted to know what you have reason to brag about when they asked:
Ok, Reddit, if we all suspended judgment for a sec, what do you want to brag about?
Helping Out A Little Creatures
I pulled a mcflurry cup off of a skunk's head behind the local 711 the other night... poor lil fella was walking in circles, helpless
Crush It! Life, Not Ribs...
I had my first Code as a nurse (patient became unresponsive and needed CPR). I was quick to start CPR. Broke 7 of her ribs but I heard two weeks later that she was still alive and getting better!
When You're Killing It On Etsy
I made over a hundred dollars selling greeting cards on etsy last month. It's not much to some people, but the idea that someone would willingly spend their hard earned money on something I made is almost too good to be true.
And I'm getting really good at this one Mozart piece on the piano, but no one I know really likes classical music, and I sound pretentious if I talk about it, so I just play for myself :)
Rising From Nothing
When I was in elementary school I was almost put into special education because they thought I couldn't read. Last week I started my PhD in biomedical engineering.
Being Able To Move On
I haven't spoken to my ex in over a month. Finally. Moving. On.
I Mean, Yeah, Okay, You Do You
My bladder is huge. Like Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own huge.
I almost overflowed a 32 oz bottle once.
Getting The Work Done On Your Own
I'm about to finish producing my first full-length documentary. Although I've had help from a lot of different crew along the way, a heck of a lot of it I've put together completely on my own. Got several great celebrities all on my own. Edited it almost entirely on my own. Just gotten a nice 1hr20min film done through pure determination and my own resourcefulness.
_CMe
What Lung Problems?
Barely a year after quitting 20 years of smoking, me and a friend of mine, meeting for the first time, hiked to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite together. 14 hours, 12.7 miles, and 52000-ish steps.
A Best Man Speech Is Harder Than It Looks
A few years ago I was the "man of honor" in my sisters wedding, and now every time I go to a wedding one of my friends tells me that my speech was the best or one of the best wedding speeches they've ever heard.
It's Nice To Be Wanted
I know it isn't much, but it made me feel good about myself. Other day I went to Lowes to get some pipe fittings for a project I'm working on. As I was walking in, there was an older couple (older than me, probably 50's) trying to put a gas grill in their truck. The tried a couple times and each time only raised it about a foot or so. I asked if they needed help, the man said he would love some help, but it gets heavier the higher he goes. I just grabbed it and lifted it up by myself, which prompted both of them to say something like they would love to have one of me around their house.
This might seem like a pretty normal thing to be proud of, but that's one of the first times in many years where someone has said they wanted me...even if it was in passing. It's quite a big deal for this overweight guy with depression.
Tap Will Come Back
part time dance teacher for the last 6 years here. I've helped grow our Tap Company (higher level tap students who perform in extra shows throughout year) tremendously. when I started it didn't exist due to low/no enrollment/interest. Now, I have 17, SEVENTEEN, students in the company. 3 years ago I had 3, 2 years ago we didn't even offer it due to "low interest", and last year we had 15 students. I'm so proud of myself. It's exciting to see young students interested in tap again. Tap is the underdog of the dance studio I teach at. Everyone wants to be a ballerina or doing the contemporary stuff you see on TV.
All of the pieces I choreograph in our shows get rave reviews and I feel that the program is alive and well again because of me and MY passion for it.
"...Even If It's Only For A Short While"
My wife is having a very hard time right now. She has periods that last hundreds of days. She's in a lot of pain, and the doctors do what they can to treat it, but I think it's going to come down to a hysterectomy.
With the backstory brought into the light, I manage to get her comfortable, happy, and pain-free every evening. I lay her in bed and rub her feet and wash her face with facial wipes until she falls asleep. It's essentially like a face massage.
I make sure she has everything she needs and wants available to her at all times. She hates shopping, and I have made sure she hasn't had to see the inside of a Walmart in a couple of years.
I'm proud to have the ability to take her pain and discomfort away, even if it's only for a short while.
When You Get It Published
Just got the first feedback on my first novel under this pen name, after taking a year or so off from publishing. It's apparently pretty good. I'm a-go to launch in the next couple of weeks and I am excited as f---.
Telling A Grand Tale
I DM'd my first DnD session ever and had a great time. After it was over the players couldn't stop talking about the game. Feels so good to have put something together that they all enjoyed and praised me on.
Shh. He Doesn't Get It.
My husband is totally out-of-my-league handsome. Fortunately for me, he doesn't seem to understand what "traditionally attractive" is or means, and he doesn't have a "type" at all.
Finally Getting The Name You Want
I'm a Brit living in Houston for the last 5 years. When the hurricane hit I immediately volunteered to help out at the hurricane shelter and continued to do so. I intend to continue volunteering as this is gonna take while to clear up.
It really makes me feel that I am helping others in a time of need and have been really proud of myself for doing it.
Even better was someone called me a 'true Houstonian' for doing this. As someone who had wanted to live in the USA his entire life, to hear this made my day.
Raising A Child Is Like Raising A Dog
My wife and I have an 8 month old daughter. A few days ago, she took her first steps without our help, and I was there to see it.
It's not that she took her first steps that I want to brag about, what is?
WE'VE KEPT THIS BABY HUMAN ALIVE FOR 8 MONTHS AND WE HAVE NO PRIOR EXPERIENCE!
Bonus, she now says "hi daddy" and gives me a high-five. S--- this makes me happy.
And When You Just When At All Of Life...
A little over 13 months ago I quit drinking myself to death and started working out. I'm down 80 pounds, and I feel pretty damn accomplished. I accepted a new job, moved across the country, and I'm doing flipping fantastic. I stopped playing video games and started getting out all the time. It's a much better life for my daughter and I. The woman who I would describe as "the one who got away" reached out to me some months back because I was initiating the big move to Minneapolis, and now we are dating, and it's the most splendid relationship I've ever had.
H/T: Reddit
There are a ton of jobs or favors that don't require much skill, experience, or labor, and people who are fortunate enough to get hired walk away with a king's ransom.
Looking for those kinds of "jobs," however, is like finding a teardrop in the ocean.
Few who struck gold, at least temporarily, shared their experiences when Redditor NikTheNerdBoy asked:
"What's the dumbest thing you were paid to do and how much were you paid?"
Good luck finding these well-paying tasks.
Running Errands
"Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me. I did all kinds of wacky sh*t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss's girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. That was literally my job."
"One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I'd say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal."
"Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he'd pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply."
"It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of 'work.'"
"Somehow, my boss's rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. 'OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!' I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like F'k it, I'll pay you $3,000, just get it for me' and then he emailed me his wish list."
"That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks."
"I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people."
Staying Out Of The Picture
"I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment."
– dragoblaster666
Pack It Up
"Got paid 10k to leave an apartment because it was sold and new owner wanted to move in. I was tenant (renter) under previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract. This was in Spain (Barcelona)."
European Vacation
"I was flown to Paris to do a compliance audit, the systems weren't set up for the audit, couldn't get access so spent the week being taken to restaurants and shopping. On 1 of the days and at the last minute the company decided to send me to London for a meeting, literally just to meet people. I missed the Eurostar because I forgot my passport (totally blanked that I was entering another country), they had to rebook the Eurostar. Nothing was achieved out of this trip. No audit was completed. Nothing came of the meeting. The cost to the company 25k+ for me to do nothing for a week. Corporate money is ridiculous money."
– _Justag1rl_
Not much labor was required for these so-called "jobs."
Ten-Minutes Of "Work"
"I used to work for a PR agency. Every month one of our clients wanted a handful of photos re-sized for their website; nothing fancy, just setting the width to 500px in Windows Photo Manager."
"It was maybe ten minutes of work every month, but the contract said the minimum amount of time we would charge them for was one day - and this was for the full team too, not just me. It must have cost them several hundred pounds every month."
"I showed the client how to do it several times, and explained that they could save a lot of money doing it themselves. They didn't seem to mind."
"In the end I made sure I got it in writing that I'd informed them of their options and let them get on with it."
– TheRainyDaze
Thank You, Goodbye
"$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix, I show up in the lobby and then they go, 'actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you're free to go!'. Still got paid!"
– Lycid
Hush Money
"I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL. I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day."
– murter95
Paid To Play
"I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant). This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel."
– Hotel29
Movie Scene Dance GIF by FandorGiphyGotta Have Wendy's
"I was driving for uber. Picked up a bunch of drunks at like 2 AM. They were like 'Yo we gotta grab some Wendy' I go 'I'm sorry this is my busy period' they go 'Can we bribe you?' I go 'Absolutely you can bribe me.'"
"One the guys said I'll give you $100...I was shocked it was that high, another guy said '$150' and finally his wife said 'F'k it I want Wendy $200 and we buy you Wendy too.'"
"I finally said yes, FYI I hadn't said yes yet because the reality is $20-$40 would have gotten me to stop at Wendy."
"So there I sat at Wendy as those 3 drunks bought me wendy and paid me $200."
– luther_williams
Substitute Chef
"One time I was at this super fancy dinner party. I'm talking servers and everything, I was in a freaking tux! It was outside and catered by a professional bbq company. I mean these guys had won international competitions. Well get this, they were double booked and didn't show. The other servers didn't know how to grill, and this totally smokin server in her 30s is just staring at the grill like a deer in the headlights. Well I don't want to be a hero but I ask if I can help. The entire staff spend the rest of the night bringing me drinks as I make this bbq and NOBODY realizes the award winning chefs didn't show up!"
– Train3rRed88
Where Do We Apply?
"Ok this wasn't a job or anything.... But I got 10$ to eat half a watermelon."
Some opportunities present themselves.
When I was a kid, I hung out at a Japanese summer festival booth where you roll a bowling ball on a track that had two hills. The objective was to push the ball hard enough to get it over the first hill but not too hard to get it over the second hill.
I was fascinated with the challenge and stayed there for a long time as my parents were over by the food booths with their friends.
It was a slow day, and the dude working the booth wanted to peace out for a bit, so he offered to pay me $50 to "hang out" in his stead.
Of course, I said "sure."
No one ever came, and I earned fifty bucks rolling bowling balls for an hour. Was it the dumbest thing I ever did for money? Maybe, but I laughed all the way to the piggy bank that day.
That guy really must have despised his post enough to give a twelve-year-old kid $50.
Food is for survival. That was the plan. But over the years it has become somewhat of a way of life. Some of the most annoying people are foodies. They get so uppity about the preferences of others. Like, let me just enjoy what I enjoy.
Mom No!
Mom Smile GIFGiphy"I don't like my mom's cooking."
"Livestock have refused to eat my mother's cooking. She's a terror in the kitchen."
Take them OUT!!
"I hate walnuts in baked goods. It tastes like wood shavings and completely ruins the flavor."
"I love walnuts but I feel this way about raisins in baked goods, raisins are fine by themselves but not in sweets, I once ordered cinnamon rolls at Hardee's and bit into it and found out there were raisins in it, and I was grossed out and didn't want to eat it. At least freakin' McDonald's serves real cinnamon rolls without freakn' raisins!"
The Fart Ingredient
"I don't like kidney beans except in chili."
"I don't even really like them in chili. I'd rather have pintos in everything."
Oh thew Crunch...
"Pickles and onion make the best sandwich. I make most of my own pickles from stuff I grow or get from local farms in the fall, but I responded to another comment with two different heinous concoctions I enjoy. Crunchy, salty, sour. I really like pickles and onions to begin with."
"I use more than pickled cucumber though. Like the last one I made, I used garlic naan, mayo, red onion, scallions, pickled garlic, green olives, Kalamata olives, garlic dill cucumber, and green beans. Shallot, sour pickled onion, sweet pickled cucumbers, and sushi ginger on sprouted 14 grain bread is also also a favorite of mine."
No Sizzle
bacon GIFGiphy"I do not like bacon."
"I've been learning this over the years. If I'm gonna do bacon I much prefer the maple bacon since it's sweeter and doesn't overpower with saltiness."
- truije15
Who doesn't like bacon? That seems like a sacrilege. Right? But to each their own. Though I will never understand not loving walnuts in comfort food. Y'all need more self love.
Love the Big M
"Fast food tastes amazing, yeah its unhealthy as hell but don't you sit there and lie and say it tastes bad."
"Pisses me off when people act like they're better then McDonald's. What the hell? McDonald's is incredible and billions of people buy their food still. The same can't be said for other restaurants."
Blasphemy!
golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy"Cheesecake is disgusting."
"I don't find cheese cake disgusting. It looks good. Smell delicious. Has ingredients in it that I love. But i can not eat more than one bite. It is too rich. One bite and i feel sick."
Too Many Legs
"Lobsters and crabs are giant insects."
"I don't really think that's that controversial, in my area of the world we even call this creature a 'Moreton Bay Bug' even though some fisheries try to give it the more appealing name of 'flathead lobster'."
bad bones
"Boneless wings are vastly superior to bone-in wings. I think bone-in wings are a ripoff because when you get half a pound of them, part of that half-pound is inedible. It's like if you ordered a quarter-pound cheeseburger, but the restaurant considers the weight of the plate to be part of that quarter-pound and you end up with just a slider. Just give me some damn meat."
The Slime
man oyster GIFGiphy"Oysters are truly disgusting and absurdly overpriced for quarter sized pieces of snot that tastes like salt water and hot sauce."
- C_23_s
Ok, I'm trying to stay calm. I don't want to judge. But some of these opinions... are leaving me shook. Except the oysters. That is that work of the devil. Look away...
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