Autopsy Doctors Reveal The Strangest Causes Of Death They've Ever Seen
[rebelmouse-image 18346198 is_animated_gif=*I don't want to see dead people. Ever! Imagine if it was your career? And not only seeing them but having to dive into their bodies and figure out everything them went awry? Those are moments for vodka for sure. Autopsies and cadaver evaluation is mostly routine. But sometimes... not. *
Redditor _\d4nk3std4nk3r _**wondered **People who do autopsies, what's the strangest cause of death you've found out? Just when you think you've heard and seen it all... you learn you should be grateful for your own day job.
SHOTS FIRED!!
At Med school we have to spend a season in a pathology department and we were responsible of autopsies. One day I received a body of a woman who died by multiple shots (and that is the worst nightmare of an autopsy, because it's needed to measure and report every damn hole). Anyway, a classmate received a boy about 12 or 13 years old, still in his school uniform. We were all shocked to see the boy's body: no blood, no weird lesions, nothing. Anyway, we all started to work on our own cases and let our classmate to resolve the boy's cause of death. About 8 hours later, an exhausted me stopped by my partner place to see how was he going, and he was dumbfounded. He finished the autopsy and did not have a clue of what killed an otherwise healthy kid. It was a complete mystery. So I decided to read the police report. In summary the boy was involved in a school fight, all the kids screaming, other kid hit him on the face, he had a rush of blood to the head, yelled the other kid, suddenly stopped and fell dead. It was a chilling story. Anyway, it was late so I went home and left my classmate to solve the mystery. Next morning in the changing room I asked my classmate if they solved the case. They did, with the help of an experienced pathologist. Finally they found a congenital defect in his cervical bones that fused together some of them. Anyway, when the other boy hit him, the fused bones moved in an irregular way cutting his medulla and effectively separating his brain from his body. It terrified me: the boy who hit him actually killed him with the punch, but it wasn't his fault. The boy could have died in any other way that moved his head forcefully, even riding a car. Bad luck, I guess.
NO GUNS WITH DRINKS...
[rebelmouse-image 18346199 is_animated_gif=A man is found dead in hotel room. Coroner says it's a heart attack. Then said guy was beat up. Then realizes a fired bullet entered guy's scrotum & went thru heart. Drunk guys in next room over were playing with a gun. They eventually were caught.
WELL... NOT THE WORST WAY TO GO...
[rebelmouse-image 18346200 is_animated_gif=My mom used to run as an EMT and was called to an unattended death at a camp. The guy had fallen from the lofted bed and died from that. The odd thing was that he didn't have pants on and there were erotic mags surrounding him. Dude died while masturbating. I'm hoping no one told his wife that.
HOW DARING... SAD END...
[rebelmouse-image 18346201 is_animated_gif=A friend of mine processes death claims at a large insurance company. He has had two separate cases from people who worked for the same company, where they died from erotic asphyxiation.
The first one hung himself with the garage door opener. Daughter found him when she got home from school. Classic disturbing case.
Second one, just a couple weeks ago- guy hangs himself in his doorway off of a pull up bar. He had his Webcam on, and there was a blowup doll on his bed. Doll had a bag over its head. Gloves on its hands.
But my friend said that his boss and their higher ups all know about it, and it was hard for them to keep their composure while discussing the payout and logistics of the claim. I couldn't even imagine.
CHECK FOR A PULSE FIRST!
[rebelmouse-image 18346202 is_animated_gif=I did an autopsy on a 25 year old male involved in a car accident. He was fine, it was the autopsy that killed him.
THAT BURNS...
[rebelmouse-image 18977475 is_animated_gif=I did a forensic pathology rotation in medical school in Florida. Was working there one day when they brought an old guy in who had been found in his apartment in the middle of the summer with no air conditioning after about a week (So he had decomposed pretty quickly). When bodies decompose the bacteria inside you eats the tissue and releases gas, so bodies tend to be bloated. So when they unzipped the body bag I wasn't surprised to see that. But I was surprised to see that his scrotum was about the size of a football (No exaggeration). This apparently occurred via the same bacteria process. Anyways, I was being keen, and I think they liked me, so they took a large bore needle and stuck it into the scrotum to let the gas escape. Then, they took a lighter and lit the end of the needle, so as the gas was escaping from the scrotum, it burned like a blowtorch. Lasted for about 20 seconds. They justified the process by saying it _"decreases the smell in the lab." _Talk about seeing things that very few other humans have. The scrotum blow-torch.
WHEN 2 BECOME 1...
[rebelmouse-image 18977476 is_animated_gif=Maybe not so relevant, but when they made a full body x-ray of my grandma's identical twin sister, not only did it turn out all her organs were mirrored (her heart was on the right side etc) but she also had 4 kidneys... woman was 60+ at the time and they never knew before.
SKIP LUNCH....
[rebelmouse-image 18977478 is_animated_gif=My friend is a pathologist. She said she threw up once after seeing a semi-liquid brain. Dude turned over his car into a lake in remote nowhere, it got pulled out, they opened his skull and a putty/liquid like mixture. I don't think anyone can blame her for vomiting.
YOU CAN'T CONTAIN IT ALL SOMETIMES.
[rebelmouse-image 18977479 is_animated_gif=A friend of mine picks up the bodies. She told me this story about how there was this older 400 lbs woman who passed away in her house. It was winter time and she didn't have many friends or family so her body remained undiscovered for 2 weeks. She passed away on a couch which was directly over a heater. When they went to move her, she split right in half long ways....
CAN'T YOU JUST SERVE AN EVICTION?
[rebelmouse-image 18977480 is_animated_gif=Current pathology fellow, board certified (not in forensics though). Participated in ~80 autopsies.
Weirdest/scariest case: housefire, one body recovered after 1+ hour of burning. Body completely char-broiled, rigid, limbs curled up against the torso. We xrayed the chest, abdomen, and head to see if there is anything of interest before dissection. Metal fragments in the chest. Hmm. Do the autopsy. The internal organs are largely intact despite the significant heat damage to the skin and soft tissue (this is not unexpected, I learn). There is a large (>1L) hematoma in the chest. There is about a 2cm jagged opening in the posterior wall of the right ventricle and in the anterior left lateral wall of the right ventricle. Metal fragments embedded in the left lung. Tracing backwards from the heart, a path is found through the posterior thorax with an possible entrance wound in the upper back. Yikes, he was shot? Detectives arrive to morgue. Say they've got the homeowner/roommate in custody. They're interrogating him right now. He owns a gun. He's been having frequent noisy arguments with the dead guy/tenant that have been observed by neighbors and reported to the police. He was away from home when the fire was happening, claims no knowledge of any of this, has no idea what happened to either his house or the dead guy. Detectives high-five each other when we tell them he's been shot and it's definitely homicide. We find out later after they fully interrogate the homeowner, he confesses to shooting the roommate in the back while he is sleeping and then torching his own house to try to hide the evidence (!) The roommate was actually his tenant and he wouldn't move out, so he killed him (!!!) Scary stuff.
SO MANY PEOPLE NEED OUR HELP...
[rebelmouse-image 18360516 is_animated_gif=I shadowed a medical examiner several times but the weirdest thing I ever saw still kind of haunts me. There was a woman that died suddenly and had all these bruises on her body. There were detectives and cops all around us because they thought it was a case of domestic violence. However, she was schizophrenic and was not on any meds. During one of her episodes, she would beat herself violently and self-inflict all of these bruises and wounds on her. But the way she died was crazy.
She beat herself so much that these bruises developed huge blood clots and broke off into the blood stream. They eventually ended up in her lungs (pulmonary embolism). We opened up her lungs and they were just full of blood clots. Her legs were full of them too.
She basically beat herself so much that she suffocated. It was so odd.
LONG TIME NO SEE...
[rebelmouse-image 18346768 is_animated_gif=My grandmother had a friend who was attending medical school at the University of Pennsylvania. She and her fellow classmates were scheduled for cadaver class where donated bodies were used. My grandmother's friend and her partner were assigned a body at the end of the rather large class room. When removing the sheet from their assigned cadaver she discovered that this was her aunt who had died two weeks previous. Yikes.
PLUG IT UP!
[rebelmouse-image 18977481 is_animated_gif=A very large butt plug still inside of the man. He died while having sex.
YOU HAVE TO BE MADE OF STEEL...
[rebelmouse-image 18977482 is_animated_gif=I'm probably way too late to the game but... I interned at our county coroner's office for a summer for college credit. Saw several dozen autopsies. The first and most haunting one was of a child who had set some things on fire in his grandmother's trailer and then hidden under the bed to keep from getting in trouble. The pathologist had to verify whether he had died of the resulting fire or if he had died of smoke inhalation. He was curled into basically the fetal position kind of hugging his knees. The waistband of his jeans and the tops of his socks had semi-protected his legs so you could see some severely burned skin there but it was the only humanesqe looking part of him. As soon as the first incision was made revealing the body cavety the coroner stated 'carbon monoxide' and exited the room while the pathologist continued. Apparently when you inhale large amounts of carbon monoxide your blood and organs turn this crazy cherry pink color. The body's position with the knees to chest is another indication. He was unconscious and died before any flames ever came in contact with his body. The smell was insane. It looked so incredibly fake that if the actual body were to be used as a hollywood prop no one would have found it to be believable. Most interesting and horrifying summer of my life.
WHY IS LIFE HARD?
[rebelmouse-image 18977483 is_animated_gif=One of my bestfriends is an autopsy tech at a hospital that allows her to actually cut into the person. One day she was called in for an autopsy on an older woman. She said that when she walked into the room, the other techs asked her if the woman looked strange to her. My friend responded that she looked a bit too thin but nothing else seemed off. The other techs told her to roll the older woman over to see something. When she did, the woman's back was completely gone as well as a bunch of organs. Turns out the old lady had died in a chair and slumped over when she passed. She had a couple dogs and after a few days the dogs got a bit hungry and ate out her back and some organs.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
[rebelmouse-image 18356969 is_animated_gif=Had a gig at a hospital one where the guards had to help move bodies from the hospital rooms to the hospital morgue.
One night me and a nurse are lifting the body of an obese woman who had already been placed in a bag to a gurney for transport. As we lifted the body up, it moaned. We dropped her back on the bed, got the bag unzipped, and checked for a pulse- nothing. The lifting action had expelled air from her lungs, through her vocal cords.
The nurse told me, " Sometimes that happens."
OH GOOD LORD!
[rebelmouse-image 18345240 is_animated_gif=Eh. To be honest when you're in that field not much shocks you. I guess what gave me a chuckle was one guy who had a quarter stuck in his trachea. It wasn't what killed him, it was just... hangin' out. When I left that company I was tempted to take it with me.
Honestly, what's most shocking to me is sometimes how much fat covers some people's hearts or how huge some peoples can grow to be. Also, how small some people's brains are. Oh, and the sheer spikiness of some of the kidney stones I've seen. We found one that was the exact size and shape of those stupid spikey balls that fall off of some trees.
SO NOT HOT!!
[rebelmouse-image 18977484 is_animated_gif=I do autopsies.
Strangest - Several giant egg shaped fecaliths with multiple large clots inside the wall of the bowel completely obstructing the already hugely dilated lumen.
Worst smell - 10 day post mortem large bowel that was inflated like a balloon and filled with rather unpleasant orange goop.
Worst thing - 3 year old Munchausen by proxy victim.
Most interesting - I cut up and examine brains every Thursday. Brains are awesome.
Favorite related story - On a date with a girl and said "I like to listen to Slayer and cut up dead people."
"That's hot."
- Doctors Share The Strangest Things They've Found During An Autopsy Unrelated To Cause Of Death - George Takei ›
- Medical Professionals Share Their Craziest 'They Shouldn't Have Survived' Experiences - George Takei ›
- People Describe How They Survived Near Death Experiences - George Takei ›
- Doctors Describe The Wildest Instances Of A Patient 'Faking It' They've Ever Seen - George Takei ›
- Doctors Share Their Biggest Autopsy Discoveries About A Patient's Death - George Takei ›
- The Most Horrific Things People Have Ever Witnessed - George Takei ›
The Best Pickup Lines Of All Time
A Redditor asked: 'what's the best pickup line of all time?'
When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.
I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."
Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.
I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:
"What's the best pickup line of all time?"
Read It And See
"You put the sexy in dyslexic."
– koookyko
"This made me laugh so hard."
"Because I can read properly."
– TappedIn2111
I'm Hooked
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"
"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”
"And I say “yes.""
"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."
"I said, “Check please bartender!!""
"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
– reb678
Statistics
"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."
– AlfheimKitteh
"Math is always super sexy."
– Acceptable-News-6811
Money, Money, Money
"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."
– onemanwolfpack21
"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."
– kkirchhoff
Winner, Winner
""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""
"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"
– PRSHZ
One Liners
"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."
– Starry_Night-
"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."
– Slainna
"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"
"(My name is Harley) 😁"
– OMNIxvTRIX
No Losers
"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
– SchemePale6222
"I got blue screen in my head."
"Explain please."
– TastyToothpasta
"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."
"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."
– Steeze_Schralper6968
Clever
"My go-to was always:"
"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"
"A little corny, but it usually worked."
– StuffToday
Refreshing
"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."
"-Hey, do you like water?"
"-Yes."
"-Then you like me in 70% already."
– azurskyy
Sneaky
"Would you date a complete stranger?"
"If she says “yes” you’re in."
If she says “no.”
“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"
– Blastspark01
Playing Coy
"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."
"I asked her who and she said “Me.""
– evil_boy4life
Prop Lines
"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"
"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"
– cannibalcats
Egg-cellent
"Best one that worked for me was:"
"Me: How do you like your eggs?"
"Her: Over easy, why?"
"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."
– Radiant_Boss4342
The Best Line
"How you doin?"
– 2x4x93
"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"
– JohnsLong_Silver
That line would definitely work on me!
People Break Down Whether A Potential Partner's Politics Are A Dealbreaker
Twenty years ago, a question about politics and dating might have elicited very different answers.
But a large part of the United States seems to be getting more radicalized and more polarized.
While two decades ago most liberal versus conservative differences in the United States were about government size or spending, now it's about who has a right to exist or have body autonomy.
Reddit user duckmysick100 asked:
"How important are your partner’s political views to you? Is it a dealbreaker if they don’t align with your own?"
Who Cares?
"Politics? Don't really care. The way I see it is that fundamentally your partner needs to be your friend."
"I don't care what any of my friend's political beliefs are and I've gone years without even knowing the political beliefs of friends. I have friends who's political beliefs I strongly disagree with and I'm still friends with them."
"I don't care, because at the end of the day my friendships don't revolve around political action."
"Many might say I'm very privileged to be in a position where I can not care about my friends political beliefs, because it means generally speaking I believe there's unlikely to be political change that really affects me."
"I don't believe that, but maybe it's true. Maybe I am privileged in that regard."
"But y'know, that's a privilege I'll gratefully live with, because it means I can have more friends."
~ AtlasClone
"If my partner were any kind of extremist who hated other people based on the political infotainment they consume, that’s a deal breaker."
"If they’re the sort of person who refuses to be friends with or interact with people 'on the other team' that’s a dealbreaker."
"Politics just isn’t all that important to me."
"There’s nothing I can do to influence it and nothing anybody else can really do, so why waste my life making it my 'big interest'?"
"And there’s no chance in hell I could survive being married to somebody who makes politics the most important thing in their life."
~ Jawahhh
Not A Dealbreaker, But...
"You don't have to agree on every single issue, but you have to share a similar worldview and set of values."
"I assume there are couples who can be together regardless, but I can't imagine my significant other would see the world in a completely different light than me."
"Yeah, exactly. Politics would be like any other issue."
"If a woman in a relationship wanted four kids and the husband wanted two, you could work through that. Or land at a compromise. Or, hell, one or both changes their mind after the first kid or two. Nothing can prepare you for being a parent other than being a parent."
"Now, say the woman was dead set against ever having kids and the guy wanted as many kids as he could produce. Just two people with completely different worldviews."
~ 2020IsANightmare
"I think they don't have to be the SAME, but they can't be polar opposites."
~ murmeltearding
"It’s gotta be the same ballpark."
"If I’m center you gotta be center or moderate left/right. If I’m hard left you gotta be at least left of center."
"Hard left + hard right just ain’t it."
~ ClilloryHinton
"They can have a different idea than me on how to fix poverty (just an example) but they have to believe poverty is a problem."
"I need someone who lives in the same reality as me."
~ jackfaire
"Perfect way to describe it. My husband and I disagree about like, whether UBI is a good way to end poverty, but not whether ending poverty is a good goal."
~ coffeeclichehere
"Political views are based on core values and, in a relationship, are an element of what I qualify as 'compatibility'."
"So no, I can't be in a long term relationship with anyone who has drastically different viewpoints."
"Some small differences around the same edge are absolutely OK and, in a mature relationship, make for enriching conversations. But fundamentally different political views—no way."
~ SamaireB
"I can be in a relationship with someone with fundamentally different political views, but those views have to be rooted in reality and there are some dealbreakers."
"Like you believe in small government...OK, I'll argue but that's fine."
"You believe we should take children from immigrants as a disincentive to immigrate here? Yeah that's going to be a dealbreaker."
~ off_and_on_again
"We disagree on some details, especially because of our professions—I’m a nurse and he is a manager in manufacturing. But hearing each others’ viewpoints is helpful in staying balanced regarding the things we do disagree on."
"When it comes to human rights, though, we are completely on the same page."
"And I could not be in a relationship with someone who felt differently than me in that area. We have children, and it’s important to me that we are aligned with how we raise them."
~ Less_Tea2063
"I might support decriminalization of all drugs and creation of safe consumption sites."
"My partner might think that’s a little too far but believes the War on Drugs is poorly handled and more resources should be put toward treatment."
"That would be a-okay with me! We don’t need to be in lockstep, but clearly we’re both empathetic to addicts and think rehabilitation over punishment should be priority."
"If my partner thinks all addicts are lazy bums and they belong in jail or dead, well—we’re not going to be together long."
~ Rastiln
It's A Dealbreaker—Now
"I have a close family member who is married to someone with opposing political views, and frankly, I think it hurts their marriage."
"Obviously it's not their only issue, but it plays a role."
"Personally, I could never do it."
"Like other people have already said, it speaks to a person's core values."
~ padall
"Back before politics became batsh*t, maybe that wouldn't be as much of a problem."
"Now there is not a lot of common ground unless you're on the same side."
~ WouldYouPleaseKindly
"A Carter era Democrat and a Reagan era Republican could have at least some common ground."
"But that ship sailed thanks to Australian media tycoons and AM radio fear mongers."
~ Grabthars_Coping_Saw
"I have a friend whose husband came out strong for a certain presidential candidate simply because he rumored to be a great businessman. He refused to listen to any negative info like, say, how racist or sexist the guy was, because 'he’ll be great for the economy!'."
"My friend makes a point of carefully studying issues and candidates and she was certain there were dealbreakers about this presidential candidate for her husband if he would only take the time to learn. But he refused."
"He normally likes a good discussion so it was weird. She ended up on antidepressants because it really changed how she saw her spouse."
"January 6 opened his eyes a bit, but he still seems to be leaning a lot more to the right than she ever expected. And this suggests their values are moving father apart."
"It’s definitely taking a toll on their marriage."
"Believe me, she’s thinking hard. It’s tough because they’ve been together almost 40 years and it’s like suddenly she’s on Planet B."
~ JohnExcrement
"I have lost a lot of respect for people who, though seemly intelligent and thoughtful, supported the crazies in a certain political party."
"They are doing real damage to our society."
"Why would I want to date one?"
~ Zoneoftotal
"There is a certain political individual that if I found out my partner supported him, I honestly would feel the need for a breakup."
"Our core values would be so far apart that a relationship would be impossible."
"Most other politicians would cause me to groan or roll my eyes."
"This man served as a filter on dating apps. Anyone who liked this guy was an immediate skip."
~ TylerJWhit
It's Always Been A Dealbreaker
"It is extremely important. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t share my values."
"For example, when Covid hit, my spouse and I were 100% on the same page about how we would handle our safety, masks, vaccines etc... even though we had never discussed what we’d do in a global pandemic."
"But we agreed because we shared values."
"I watched many of my friends’ marriages struggle because the pandemic revealed their ideological differences."
"Politics are not theoretical. They affect your life in ways you can never anticipate."
~ Electrical-Spot863
"Some people seem to treat politics like sports, like it's separate from reality and doesn't really matter which 'team' you support."
"Getting along with someone despite supporting opposing sports teams, or having different tastes in music or movies, or whatever—that makes sense."
"The winner of an election, though, can have immense impact on what happens in the 'real world' when compared to who wins the Super Bowl / World Cup / Other Notable Sports Event."
~ DragoonDM
Only a handful of Redditors said politics was a non-issue.
But they also said they'd refuse to date anyone who thought politics were important in relationships or even friendships.
But the overwhelming majority felt political differences in the current climate would make a relationship a no-go.
What do you think?
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.
In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:
"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"
Some people are happy to take up extra space.
Spacious Parking
"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."
– starkpaella
"Genius answer. It always brings joy."
– Heynicejobtoday
Hush
"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."
– 2workigo
"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."
– jaybeeg
Bed Positions
"Sleeping on the diagonal."
– snogweasel
"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."
– downvotingprofile
Quiet Viewing
"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."
– PheonixKernow
These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.
Taste In The Finer Things
"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."
"It’s the little things. 😂"
– aizzo4
All Mine
"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."
– missag_2490
Cheers
"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."
– Tom__mm
"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."
– JLHuston
Screen Time
"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."
– sexrockandroll
"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."
"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."
"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."
– Big-Mine9790
To each his/her/their own.
The Organizer
"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."
– Dependent_Top_4425
"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"
"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."
– Individual-Army811
Everything But The Kitchen Sink
"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."
– holographoc
Establishing Order
"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."
"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."
– Lyeta1_1
When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.
He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.
Which is all well and good.
But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.
We've all had a conversation with someone where they say something where they've said something incorrect or inaccurate.
Sometimes, our gut reaction is just to laugh, as it was an honest mistake, such as mixing up a pair of celebrities or misusing or mispronouncing a word.
Other times, we might feel the need to put them in their place and not only correct them but educate them.
Then there are the times when we have just heard something so shockingly inane that we are left completely and utterly speechless.
Redditor Moo1124 was eager to hear all the dumb things the Reddit community heard which left them dumbfounded, leading them to ask:
"What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard anyone say?"
Before You Denounce Something, Make Sure You Know What It Is
"'I don't believe in astronomy'."
"We asked her if she meant astrology, and she asked, 'which is the one where like, you can tell what stars are made of?''
"We confirmed that was astronomy'."
"'Yeah, I don't believe in that'."- octohog
That Explains All The Traffic Jams?
"That when you press on the horn of your car, it lowers the amount of air in your front right tire due to it helping make that horn sound."- Boomstick123456
Oh, Dear...
"I was walking around the ruins of the ancient cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde just outside of Mancos, Colorado, (where the Ancient Puebloans lived from approximately 550 A.D. to 1300 A.D.) when a visitor asked the tour guide:"
"'Why did they build their homes so far from the highway?'"- badwolf1013
driving los angeles GIF by HOLLYWOOD LOVE STORYGiphyRibbet...
“'I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand, I'm amphibious'."- Master_Grape5931
Racist No Matter What...
"Apparently when my daughter was first born she looked vaguely East Asian."
"Enough, at least, for the nurses to ask if I was sure it was my baby."
"Now that was an incredibly weird thing to say to a new dad meeting his daughter for the first time, but it wasn't the stupidest thing someone said about this situation."
"That happened when I was retelling the above story to a client in a meeting."
"He asked to see a photo of my kid as a newborn, remarked how she really did 'look Asian', and then proceeded to ask if I thought my child might end up having an Asian accent when she got older."- JoeyCalamaro
"Where are you from, China or Asia?"- SonaPen22
Cbs No GIF by HULUGiphyWhen Life Gives You Lemons
"Asked someone if they drove a stick."
"They responded, 'no, I drive a car'."
"Now I have a dad joke I’ll remember forever."- 99problemsbut
ID Please...
"I once found a big bulldog in my back yard."
"I don't own a bulldog."
"He was a big friendly, but slow witted guy."
"He look healthy and had a collar but no tags so I knew he was a local."
"I made sure he had water and went to the front yard to start knocking on doors."
"As soon as I stepped outside I saw the family three houses down all gathered in their front yard."
"So another case closed for our young detective."
"I walked over to them and said, 'You guys missing a bulldog?'"
"The mother looked at me and said, 'Is his name Tyson?'"
"The question took me aback."
"I mean, he didn't have tags."
"They knew he didn't have tags."
"So all I could think to say was, 'He didn't say'."
"'But I'm pretty sure he's yours'."
"To this day I wonder if that woman knew how dumb that question was."- Spodson
looks stupid english bulldog GIFGiphyUnder The Influence
"Stoned friend ."
"What year is February in?'"- IHave47Teeth
Woof Woof...
"My teacher told a class of 16-17 year olds about that super loyal dog in Japan who walked to the train station daily for nine years to wait for his owner, who died at work."
"After hearing that story, a girl raised her hand and asked 'Why didn't somebody just tell the dog?'"- Senator_Ruth_Martin
That's Why The FDA Warns Against It...
"When I was 12 years old a friend told me 'smoking is good for you because the smoke makes a shield around your heart when you breathe it in'."
"He argued that the smoke could prevent you from being stabbed or shot."
"Even at 12 I knew he was a moron."- ipondy
There's Denying Global Warming, And Then...
"Solar panels will cause a global ice age, because the law of thermodynamics states energy cannot be created or destroyed, so obviously they must be removing heat from the air."
"With no sense of irony of the scale nor efficiency (or lack thereof) of solar panels and their capacity to cool."- peptobiscuit
In Debt, Maybe...
"I knew a Finance major in college who thought he was worth $20k because he had two credit cards with $10k limit each."- alano134
No one loves a know-it-all.
Especially when they don't actually know anything at all...