Autopsy Doctors Reveal The Strangest Causes Of Death They've Ever Seen
[rebelmouse-image 18346198 is_animated_gif=*I don't want to see dead people. Ever! Imagine if it was your career? And not only seeing them but having to dive into their bodies and figure out everything them went awry? Those are moments for vodka for sure. Autopsies and cadaver evaluation is mostly routine. But sometimes... not. *
Redditor _\d4nk3std4nk3r _**wondered **People who do autopsies, what's the strangest cause of death you've found out? Just when you think you've heard and seen it all... you learn you should be grateful for your own day job.
SHOTS FIRED!!
At Med school we have to spend a season in a pathology department and we were responsible of autopsies. One day I received a body of a woman who died by multiple shots (and that is the worst nightmare of an autopsy, because it's needed to measure and report every damn hole). Anyway, a classmate received a boy about 12 or 13 years old, still in his school uniform. We were all shocked to see the boy's body: no blood, no weird lesions, nothing. Anyway, we all started to work on our own cases and let our classmate to resolve the boy's cause of death. About 8 hours later, an exhausted me stopped by my partner place to see how was he going, and he was dumbfounded. He finished the autopsy and did not have a clue of what killed an otherwise healthy kid. It was a complete mystery. So I decided to read the police report. In summary the boy was involved in a school fight, all the kids screaming, other kid hit him on the face, he had a rush of blood to the head, yelled the other kid, suddenly stopped and fell dead. It was a chilling story. Anyway, it was late so I went home and left my classmate to solve the mystery. Next morning in the changing room I asked my classmate if they solved the case. They did, with the help of an experienced pathologist. Finally they found a congenital defect in his cervical bones that fused together some of them. Anyway, when the other boy hit him, the fused bones moved in an irregular way cutting his medulla and effectively separating his brain from his body. It terrified me: the boy who hit him actually killed him with the punch, but it wasn't his fault. The boy could have died in any other way that moved his head forcefully, even riding a car. Bad luck, I guess.
NO GUNS WITH DRINKS...
[rebelmouse-image 18346199 is_animated_gif=A man is found dead in hotel room. Coroner says it's a heart attack. Then said guy was beat up. Then realizes a fired bullet entered guy's scrotum & went thru heart. Drunk guys in next room over were playing with a gun. They eventually were caught.
WELL... NOT THE WORST WAY TO GO...
[rebelmouse-image 18346200 is_animated_gif=My mom used to run as an EMT and was called to an unattended death at a camp. The guy had fallen from the lofted bed and died from that. The odd thing was that he didn't have pants on and there were erotic mags surrounding him. Dude died while masturbating. I'm hoping no one told his wife that.
HOW DARING... SAD END...
[rebelmouse-image 18346201 is_animated_gif=A friend of mine processes death claims at a large insurance company. He has had two separate cases from people who worked for the same company, where they died from erotic asphyxiation.
The first one hung himself with the garage door opener. Daughter found him when she got home from school. Classic disturbing case.
Second one, just a couple weeks ago- guy hangs himself in his doorway off of a pull up bar. He had his Webcam on, and there was a blowup doll on his bed. Doll had a bag over its head. Gloves on its hands.
But my friend said that his boss and their higher ups all know about it, and it was hard for them to keep their composure while discussing the payout and logistics of the claim. I couldn't even imagine.
CHECK FOR A PULSE FIRST!
[rebelmouse-image 18346202 is_animated_gif=I did an autopsy on a 25 year old male involved in a car accident. He was fine, it was the autopsy that killed him.
THAT BURNS...
[rebelmouse-image 18977475 is_animated_gif=I did a forensic pathology rotation in medical school in Florida. Was working there one day when they brought an old guy in who had been found in his apartment in the middle of the summer with no air conditioning after about a week (So he had decomposed pretty quickly). When bodies decompose the bacteria inside you eats the tissue and releases gas, so bodies tend to be bloated. So when they unzipped the body bag I wasn't surprised to see that. But I was surprised to see that his scrotum was about the size of a football (No exaggeration). This apparently occurred via the same bacteria process. Anyways, I was being keen, and I think they liked me, so they took a large bore needle and stuck it into the scrotum to let the gas escape. Then, they took a lighter and lit the end of the needle, so as the gas was escaping from the scrotum, it burned like a blowtorch. Lasted for about 20 seconds. They justified the process by saying it _"decreases the smell in the lab." _Talk about seeing things that very few other humans have. The scrotum blow-torch.
WHEN 2 BECOME 1...
[rebelmouse-image 18977476 is_animated_gif=Maybe not so relevant, but when they made a full body x-ray of my grandma's identical twin sister, not only did it turn out all her organs were mirrored (her heart was on the right side etc) but she also had 4 kidneys... woman was 60+ at the time and they never knew before.
SKIP LUNCH....
[rebelmouse-image 18977478 is_animated_gif=My friend is a pathologist. She said she threw up once after seeing a semi-liquid brain. Dude turned over his car into a lake in remote nowhere, it got pulled out, they opened his skull and a putty/liquid like mixture. I don't think anyone can blame her for vomiting.
YOU CAN'T CONTAIN IT ALL SOMETIMES.
[rebelmouse-image 18977479 is_animated_gif=A friend of mine picks up the bodies. She told me this story about how there was this older 400 lbs woman who passed away in her house. It was winter time and she didn't have many friends or family so her body remained undiscovered for 2 weeks. She passed away on a couch which was directly over a heater. When they went to move her, she split right in half long ways....
CAN'T YOU JUST SERVE AN EVICTION?
[rebelmouse-image 18977480 is_animated_gif=Current pathology fellow, board certified (not in forensics though). Participated in ~80 autopsies.
Weirdest/scariest case: housefire, one body recovered after 1+ hour of burning. Body completely char-broiled, rigid, limbs curled up against the torso. We xrayed the chest, abdomen, and head to see if there is anything of interest before dissection. Metal fragments in the chest. Hmm. Do the autopsy. The internal organs are largely intact despite the significant heat damage to the skin and soft tissue (this is not unexpected, I learn). There is a large (>1L) hematoma in the chest. There is about a 2cm jagged opening in the posterior wall of the right ventricle and in the anterior left lateral wall of the right ventricle. Metal fragments embedded in the left lung. Tracing backwards from the heart, a path is found through the posterior thorax with an possible entrance wound in the upper back. Yikes, he was shot? Detectives arrive to morgue. Say they've got the homeowner/roommate in custody. They're interrogating him right now. He owns a gun. He's been having frequent noisy arguments with the dead guy/tenant that have been observed by neighbors and reported to the police. He was away from home when the fire was happening, claims no knowledge of any of this, has no idea what happened to either his house or the dead guy. Detectives high-five each other when we tell them he's been shot and it's definitely homicide. We find out later after they fully interrogate the homeowner, he confesses to shooting the roommate in the back while he is sleeping and then torching his own house to try to hide the evidence (!) The roommate was actually his tenant and he wouldn't move out, so he killed him (!!!) Scary stuff.
SO MANY PEOPLE NEED OUR HELP...
[rebelmouse-image 18360516 is_animated_gif=I shadowed a medical examiner several times but the weirdest thing I ever saw still kind of haunts me. There was a woman that died suddenly and had all these bruises on her body. There were detectives and cops all around us because they thought it was a case of domestic violence. However, she was schizophrenic and was not on any meds. During one of her episodes, she would beat herself violently and self-inflict all of these bruises and wounds on her. But the way she died was crazy.
She beat herself so much that these bruises developed huge blood clots and broke off into the blood stream. They eventually ended up in her lungs (pulmonary embolism). We opened up her lungs and they were just full of blood clots. Her legs were full of them too.
She basically beat herself so much that she suffocated. It was so odd.
LONG TIME NO SEE...
[rebelmouse-image 18346768 is_animated_gif=My grandmother had a friend who was attending medical school at the University of Pennsylvania. She and her fellow classmates were scheduled for cadaver class where donated bodies were used. My grandmother's friend and her partner were assigned a body at the end of the rather large class room. When removing the sheet from their assigned cadaver she discovered that this was her aunt who had died two weeks previous. Yikes.
PLUG IT UP!
[rebelmouse-image 18977481 is_animated_gif=A very large butt plug still inside of the man. He died while having sex.
YOU HAVE TO BE MADE OF STEEL...
[rebelmouse-image 18977482 is_animated_gif=I'm probably way too late to the game but... I interned at our county coroner's office for a summer for college credit. Saw several dozen autopsies. The first and most haunting one was of a child who had set some things on fire in his grandmother's trailer and then hidden under the bed to keep from getting in trouble. The pathologist had to verify whether he had died of the resulting fire or if he had died of smoke inhalation. He was curled into basically the fetal position kind of hugging his knees. The waistband of his jeans and the tops of his socks had semi-protected his legs so you could see some severely burned skin there but it was the only humanesqe looking part of him. As soon as the first incision was made revealing the body cavety the coroner stated 'carbon monoxide' and exited the room while the pathologist continued. Apparently when you inhale large amounts of carbon monoxide your blood and organs turn this crazy cherry pink color. The body's position with the knees to chest is another indication. He was unconscious and died before any flames ever came in contact with his body. The smell was insane. It looked so incredibly fake that if the actual body were to be used as a hollywood prop no one would have found it to be believable. Most interesting and horrifying summer of my life.
WHY IS LIFE HARD?
[rebelmouse-image 18977483 is_animated_gif=One of my bestfriends is an autopsy tech at a hospital that allows her to actually cut into the person. One day she was called in for an autopsy on an older woman. She said that when she walked into the room, the other techs asked her if the woman looked strange to her. My friend responded that she looked a bit too thin but nothing else seemed off. The other techs told her to roll the older woman over to see something. When she did, the woman's back was completely gone as well as a bunch of organs. Turns out the old lady had died in a chair and slumped over when she passed. She had a couple dogs and after a few days the dogs got a bit hungry and ate out her back and some organs.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
[rebelmouse-image 18356969 is_animated_gif=Had a gig at a hospital one where the guards had to help move bodies from the hospital rooms to the hospital morgue.
One night me and a nurse are lifting the body of an obese woman who had already been placed in a bag to a gurney for transport. As we lifted the body up, it moaned. We dropped her back on the bed, got the bag unzipped, and checked for a pulse- nothing. The lifting action had expelled air from her lungs, through her vocal cords.
The nurse told me, " Sometimes that happens."
OH GOOD LORD!
[rebelmouse-image 18345240 is_animated_gif=Eh. To be honest when you're in that field not much shocks you. I guess what gave me a chuckle was one guy who had a quarter stuck in his trachea. It wasn't what killed him, it was just... hangin' out. When I left that company I was tempted to take it with me.
Honestly, what's most shocking to me is sometimes how much fat covers some people's hearts or how huge some peoples can grow to be. Also, how small some people's brains are. Oh, and the sheer spikiness of some of the kidney stones I've seen. We found one that was the exact size and shape of those stupid spikey balls that fall off of some trees.
SO NOT HOT!!
[rebelmouse-image 18977484 is_animated_gif=I do autopsies.
Strangest - Several giant egg shaped fecaliths with multiple large clots inside the wall of the bowel completely obstructing the already hugely dilated lumen.
Worst smell - 10 day post mortem large bowel that was inflated like a balloon and filled with rather unpleasant orange goop.
Worst thing - 3 year old Munchausen by proxy victim.
Most interesting - I cut up and examine brains every Thursday. Brains are awesome.
Favorite related story - On a date with a girl and said "I like to listen to Slayer and cut up dead people."
"That's hot."
All of us have fears which some might call irrational.
Up to and including ghosts, witches, monsters.
But more often than not, reality can be far scarier than the supernatural.
And there are very few people indeed who don't have a memory of a moment when they were truly and genuinely scared.
And not by an otherworldly encounter, but by things that could quite literally happen to anyone.
Redditor GodhimselfUwU was curious to hear the scariest experiences people have lived through, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest non-supernatural thing that ever happened to you?"
Intruder
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2
Uncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42
A near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- Applesintheorchard
Had no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Having to work for a living is hard work.
Some jobs come with difficulty and two extra sides of stress.
So the last thing people need is unwarranted hate.
I'm so glad I work from home. Writing alone.
I have issues with me, but that I can deal with.
I do hate internet issues.
But that is warranted.
Redditor PM_ME_URFOOD wanted to talk about the jobs where a ridiculous amount of vitriol is all part of a days work. They asked:
"What profession gets an unjustified amount of hate?"
Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy Hours
"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
kirkl3s
You're Out!
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
kennsing75
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
DaniTheLovebug
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
HighlyOffensive10
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
Bromelia_and_Bismuth
I'm Hungry
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
stinky_cheese33
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
thedankbank1021
Too much stress...
"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
TomoyoHoshijiro
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Too
"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
this_is_lune
Hard Hours
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
Clingitty
Green Thumbed
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
kjhvm
Heartless
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
Zfullz
No Fun Involved
"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
SubiWhale
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.