The Automatic First Date Deal Breakers People Use

two people holding hands together on walkway during daytime
Crew on Unsplash

Dating is never easy, and yet, most still do it. But we have to go through a lot of frogs to find our prince or princess.

Dating is also different for everyone. Sometimes, you meet a person you automatically feel a connection with, you go out, and by the end of the night, you know you found your soulmate. Other times, the person does or says something that makes you think, Nope!

Unfortunately, the latter seems to happen more often than not. Redditors certainly agree, as they all gathered to share their stories of first date events or behaviors that were instant deal breakers.

It all started when Redditor 8vv0 asked:

“What’s an automatic deal-breaker on a first date?”

Server Doesn't Mean Servant

"The way someone acts toward servers can tell you a lot about who they really are. I had a boss who insisted on interviewing me at a restaurant and explained that reasoning to me after giving me the offer. As someone who served for years I can tell you he was correct."

– Shiba_Ichigo

"I once went on a blind-ish date and literally all she talked about was the show “sex and the city”. For an hour. Only stopping to berate the waitress over nothing."

"It was bizarre, and kind of fascinating. At a certain point I thought I was on one of those prank tv shows that were popular at the time."

– EarthDoomProphecy

It's All About Me

"Showing no/barely any interest in me personally. Only talking about themselves and not showing interest when I tell about myself."

– ForgetMeNot01

"100%. When you try to join the 'conversation' & they somehow immediately find a way to use what you say to direct it right back to themselves."

– CrumbledTheCookies


"A dude once took his socks off while we watched a movie and started using his fingernails to dig stuff out from under his toenails."

"I was immediately out."

– kittermcgee

"Did he at least invite you to join in?? No? Outrageous!"

– invaderjif

"Yeah, that's third date shit."

– TheGuv69

Be Who You Are

"When they're clearly 20 years older than the pictures they used on the dating app"

– mulans_goat

"That happened to me on one of the very first dates I went on with someone I met online abt 10 years ago. Back then, I didn’t realize that if a dude has one grainy picture of his face and that’s it, he’s hiding something, lol."

"Dude was a cop (bleh), 50+ lbs heavier than his pic and balding, and dumb as fuck. You’re fat and bald, own it dude, don’t pretend to be you from 10 years ago, lol. As soon as he stood up, I thought oh hell no."

"Date was awkward af but dude thought it went so well he could ask for a second one. Nah, bro."

– PistolPetunia

Be There Or Be Square

"Not showing up"

– FastTrack777

"Look at you with your impossible standards."

– Shurdus

"I just imagine some poor guy sitting at a table alone, finishing his meal completely unbothered."

"After paying his check, he looks stone-faced at the vacant chair across from him, and goes off on am 'I don't think this is going to work out' speech."


Don't Tell Me What To Eat!

"Choosing my food for me"

– raven_widow

"YES! The only first date I even walked out of was the guy who insisted on ordering for me and refused to believe I don't like avocados (yes, I'm odd, I know!)."

"I was so stunned that I just sat there until the food came, listening to to him talk, then as soon as he insisted I try the food I was not interested in, I left enough cash to cover the check and walked out."

"Edited To Add - I have found my people here! Before this thread I thought I was the only one who didn't like avocados!"

– CreampuffOfLove

"I remember when I was a teen people used to say that the guy should choose the food for the girl, I always thought that was weird af"

– justfantasea19

You Must Be Single

"A wedding ring"

– justanotheruser1788

"I was talking with this woman who was really up-front about wanting to go out for dinner and dancing with me, but she had a wedding ring. I told her that I have a firm policy against dating married women."

"'But I'm your wife,' she said."

"'No exceptions'."

– Philip_Anderer

Nothing's Ruder Than This

"If we’re sharing loaded nachos, and they specifically take all the ones with meat and cheese and stuff, leaving you with just chips. I mean justchips."

"Restaurants should have a rule about that."

– Bing_Bong_the_Archer

Ignorance Upon Ignorance

"He completely out of the blue told me he didn’t believe in birth control"

– pnwpuget

"Went on a first date with a girl that said she couldn't take birth control due to a hormone imbalance and she was allergic to latex. I asked her how she stayed safe and she said 'I'm just really careful'."


– archaelleon

"Good Lord, I would've looked like the Road Runner cartoon where he just blasts through a mountain or something and all you see is the silhouette."

– NotMyRealName814

Four's A Crowd

"Well about a month ago I made plans to meet up for a date with this girl that I was really getting along with."

"Then AFTER the plans were made she calls me and says 'Oh yeah, I should probably tell you that I'm engaged and my fiancee will be joining us... but it's alright, we have an open relationship and he's bringing his girlfriend too'."

– Bluevettes

I’ve never realized how lucky I was to not have any first date horror stories!

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