Meeting your significant other's parents can be nerve-wracking. You want to fit in with the whole family and be accepted by them. In most cases, you try to break the ice by cracking a few jokes ... but that sometimes gets a little out of hand.
In this article, people share the rudest remark their significant other has made to their parents.
[source can be found at the end of the article]
I was having dinner with my mom and my brand new boyfriend at the time when he started hugging me at the table (the kind of hug a child gives to a pet rabbit where you just feel bad for the creature receiving the love).
I say, "Don't. Stop."
He responds, "Don't stop? Okay."
I grumbled and said, "No, there's a period in there."
Without missing a beat he said, "Girl you know a period never stopped me."
In front of my mom.
I had a girlfriend for a very short time, around the age of 18.
She called my dad a drunk, to his face, within 5 minutes of meeting him. While it is true he drank a lot, it was really rude and disrespectful.
He responded by saying, "Bill, you can do better than this one, I don't care how hot you think she is.
My husband told my parents we weren't coming back to the house as long as my sister was living there. It was the bravest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I know what it cost him to hurt them that way, but it benefited me, and so he did it.
My sister is a drunk, abusive person and my husband is the first person to stand up for me and worry about my mental and emotional health. I love him so deeply.
My boyfriend was telling my dad about a time when his single friend was making fun of him at the gym for only being able to bench one plate. His comeback was, "Well at least I'm getting laid."
He didn't even realize what he had just said.
I lived with my parents when my husband and I were dating. He would come over, and he would sit on the bed.
My mom would come into the room and ask what we were doing. We would always say, "Making out." To which her reply was always, "I may be old but I remember making out, and this isn't it."
Fast forward to wedding a year later, and we had to go back by my parents house the next day. We walk in, and my husband puts his arm around my mom, and says, "You know, there WAS a whole lot more to that making out."
I was absolutely mortified.
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The first time I brought my wife home, it was on a weekend my father was supposed to be away for some camping. Well, he gets home early because of bad weather, so I'm now obligated to introduce this girl who's in my room downstairs. Eventually, we get out of my bedroom as my father is starting to prepare dinner. As he sees her, he asks: "Wow, I wonder what a wonderful woman like you eats to stay this beautiful!"
Her answer: "Well, this morning? Your son."
Yup. What a way to make a good first impression. Good thing is that it's exactly my dad's type of humor, otherwise, it could have gone badly.
Me ex significant other once went for drinks with my mother, and a few drinks in she told my mother that she had amazing sex last night and had been left bandy-legged before coming to the realization she had let it slip to my mother.
My mother was not amused and told me the next day to be more of a gentleman.
This was the second time my boyfriend was meeting my parents. My dad kept saying he could've sworn when I was a baby I had a birthmark on my butt. I was arguing that I didn't, my boyfriend chimed in to confirm.
My boyfriend's dad asked me if he does any housework. I said, "Yes he does, but I have sex with him frequently...so that's probably why he does what I ask."
His dad kind of gave this "fair point" nod to me
I dated a girl years ago who told my mother, on Christmas Eve, that I thought I was impotent. The truth is, I was wondering if I was infertile, as I had been exposed to a lot of x-rays in my fun zone as a child. She mixed up the words.
This led to my going to my mother's bedroom, on Christmas Eve, in my undies, to knock on her door to tell her that I am not impotent.
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My girlfriend and I were on a ski trip with my parents, and this was the first time she would be spending an extended amount of time with them. In the morning while getting ready, my dad walks out in his long johns and underarmor top, and overall tight-fitting outfit.
My girlfriend wasn't really expecting this, and my dad caught her looking his way. And my dad, as one to put someone on the spot (in a fun way), says, "Whatcha looking at?"
Without a moment's hesitation, my girlfriend goes, "Just checking out the older model."
Needless to say she was instantly accepted into the family.
My dad was talking to me and my boyfriend about safe sex when my boyfriend whipped out the condoms he had in his bag and said, "Don't worry, I'm already prepared.
My mom was trying to recover after telling a really long winded joke that just didn't land, and after a couple excruciatingly cringe-filled seconds of no one laughing, my boyfriend said, "Oh, I didn't get it because it wasn't funny..." with a kind of playful smirk on his face.
It was maybe the hardest I've ever laughed.
My mom was pulling a "be a real man and do X", I forget what it was even about. My ex said, "The person who gets to decide whether he's a real man is the one who is having sex with him."
She was a pretty terrible girlfriend in general, but that one moment was awesome.
My boyfriend just makes underhanded comments to them and loves to rub it in their faces about how well I'm doing without them, and how much better and easier my life is without them in it.
He also knows not to mention bad things that are going on - like me getting fired. My mom brought up my job last time we talked and he just jumped in talking about how he hates my job just as much as I do, and that he's sure I'll find something better soon. It just blew me away since I didn't even know what to say in that moment.
He's also quick to defend me against them and change the subject if they're bashing me or talking about something I have no interest in (like my abusive brother). He's honestly the best and I'm so thankful he's a part of my life.
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Just after graduating high school, at 18 years old, I started dating this girl.
One day we were sitting on the couch with mom and dad, watching TV. Now, to be fair, they knew we were having sex regularly, and told us to do it at home, because they found out we had gone to the creek a few times and almost got caught. They just wanted us to be safe.
So, while we're watching TV, my girlfriend and I are kind of playing with each other, just some touching discreetly, when my girlfriend turns to my mom and says, "I'm gonna take your son into the bedroom and screw his brains out for awhile." Jaw...drop...from...everyone. Including me.
Yes, we went to the bedroom.
I don't remember the exact wording, but my boyfriend was helping my parents bring in their groceries one day and they hand him a bunch of jugs of milk to bring in and say something like, "Here, bring these in if you are able," and my boyfriend says something like, "I don't know, I'm not used to holding this many jugs at a time, Ashley only has two.
The first time my girlfriend (now wife) met my parents she came over for taco night. My mom asked her how she liked her tacos.
With a straight face she very adamantly said, "I like it hard.
My dad doesn't really like celebrating his birthday. Aside from me, my mother and brother, he does his absolute best to avoid contact with people. So we usually end up spending it at home, hanging out together.
About 3 years ago, I invited my girlfriend at the time to come over on what happened to be my dad's birthday. When she finally arrived, the whole family was in the living room. Being aware of the occasion, she proceeded to wish him a happy birthday. He thanked her. Then my mom, who was watching that scene, jokingly said to her: "You should consider yourself important. He allowed you to congratulate him and he hates that."
My girlfriend of only 3 months who barely knew my father replied: "Oh, really? Next time I'll kick you in the face then!"
We all laughed really hard at it. She later confessed that she didn't realize what she had said until it was too late. It went down as one of her best jokes while we were together and makes us laugh till this day every time one of us brings it up.
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My girlfriend was trying on 10 different dresses at my place in front of her mom and a couple of roommates.
Her mom is a super critical person and was finding a flaw with each one, usually something related to my girlfriend's body. After about half-an-hour of this, I guess I finally snapped. Without realizing it, in front of everyone, I said, "Baby, you look amazing in all of them, just pick the one YOU like."
I hadn't realized what I had said until 2 hours later when my roomies told me why everyone had stared at me in shock, most of all her mother.
I had a pretty bad fight with my mom recently. I wanted no contact with her for a while and her solution was to try and reach me through my fianc. Her texts were mostly harmless but began to become more pointed and horrible. She was putting him in the middle and talking badly about me and one night he finally had enough. He told her to stop contacting him and to "sit in her own crap."
She's still pretty pissed about it.
I was staying at her parent's house. We were having dinner, and after some time, having children comes up as a topic. Without thinking, and as a joke I say, "If she gets pregnant, I'm gone."
Awkward silence for what felt like an hour. Suddenly her dad bursts out in tears and high fives me. My significant other is still pissed about this story.
My mom was visiting us after our oldest child just came home from the NICU for the first time (from birth to five months). Out of nowhere, a couple days into her visit, she started freaking out and going off about how I was breaking her heart because I wasn't attached to my child and we never bonded. Then she started crying and stormed out when I defended myself by saying, "He's attached to a feeding machine/oxygen/pulse machine most of the time and sleeping."
My husband followed her out and read her the riot act, ending with, "You need to get over this because you're kind of being overdramatic right now."
I love him.
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My brother caught mono when he was eighteen and my mother had told his then-girlfriend not to come to the house because he needed rest. Instead of respecting this request, his girlfriend showed up to the house wearing a naughty nurse lingerie set, and told my mother, "I know the real way to make him feel better," complete with a suggestive wink.
It was the first time I'd ever seen my mother physically force someone out of our house. The relationship didn't last.
My parents are retired from the military. Both served during the Vietnam War. About 5 or 6 years ago they invite us to join them for dinner at one of the many restaurants that offer free meals to veterans on Veteran's Day.
The conversation inevitably turns to the topic of their service in the military. My wife is extremely liberal. She, point blank, asks my father if he ever killed anyone while on the many missions he was a part of during, and after, the war. His duties took him all over the world and put him in potentially dangerous situations.
I was 35 at the time and my dad and I had engaged in many conversations about his 20+ years of service. He was pretty open and honest with me, but that was the one question that I had intentionally avoided due to the sensitive nature of the topic. If he had killed in the line of duty, I didn't see any reason to cause him to relive the experience, and I think part of me didn't want to know because I was afraid it might change how I viewed him. He's a great father and has always been there for me with love and support.
I sat there wide-eyed in disbelief that she would be so bold as to ask him such a tough question. He didn't bat an eyelash at it, answered her, and then we went on with our evening. I'm still amazed at how ballsy it was for her to question him like that.
I started dating my significant other when we were both 20, but she is just shy of 5' tall, under 100 lbs, and she looks young. She's heard it all of her life, short jokes and "you look 14."
So I brought her to my family's Thanksgiving dinner with a couple of my buddies. It was only a couple months after we started dating, so this was the first time my family had met her.
So everyone is chatting having a good time, and my older brother asks her, "So how old are you?" And she says in this cute and chipper voice, "I am 14!"
The room goes DEAD silent with my 9 siblings and parents staring at me in this complete disgust. My friends and her die laughing while my family is deciding how to process this information.
I never get embarrassed, I usually don't care what people think of me, especially my family, but after seeing their faces I realized they did not get the joke, so I shake her a little and say, "Tell them the truth!"
She giggles and says, "I'm just kidding, I am 20."
And there is the loudest sigh of relief in the room.
Then I married her.
This one was me to my now father-in-law only the second time I met him. I was on break from college and going down to hang out with my then girlfriend at her parents' house. Stopped at an ATM on the way and, in my haste, left my debit card in the machine. Fifteen minutes later I get a call from the bank and have to go back to retrieve it. I was also supposed to bring down my iPod Touch, but forgot to bring that as well.
After I arrived, I hear my now father-in-law proclaim that he had found his wallet. It was under his bed and he had been looking for it for four days. At some point, it comes up that I had forgotten my iPod and left my debit card in the ATM, so he says that I'm "not making a very good first impression."
Without even thinking about it, the following words were out of my mouth: "That's a pretty bold statement coming from a guy that lost his wallet under his bed for for days."
Thankfully for me, he thought that was hilarious. We get along really well to this day.