The Neverending Ride
I once got off the wrong bus stop on purpose because I didn't want to tell the bus to stop, so I just waited for it to stop itself.
I've gotten off at the wrong stop because I didn't want to tell the driver I didn't mean this one...
Totally Into the Sportsball
After work, I decide to get a beer at a bar. I teach night classes on a side of town I'm not used to, so I go into random sports bar and I sit alone. I do not watch most sports. Later...
Me (in my mind): it's getting late. I should go home.
Random guy: hey, this Texans game is good! Can't believe (something footbally happened)
Me (pretending to know football stuff): yeah, these dudes are dope! The Texans are in for some trouble if they mess up!
Guy: FINALLY! Someone on my side!!
The guy buys me beer. We are now best friends. Turns out we are the only fans of whatever the other team is in this bar. We bond over our outsider status. I have no idea what to say and as the night goes on, he keeps buying beer. I have pretended to like football for too long to come clean now. I end up watching the whole game. Our team lost. I didn't get home until midnight
Run, Run, Runaway
I was in a dance class a few years ago and we had to do improv. Everyone there was a WAY better dancer than me,so I had a difficult time just with that. Well,my teacher gave us 5 mins to come up with a dance to a whole song,and you'd have to dance in front of the class alone. I noped the f' out of there and ran and hid in the bathroom. My cell phone was still in the classroom,but at that point I didn't care. I decided to sneak out the front door of the studio. Well there's a small problem there. The walkway to the parking lot was in front of the giant windows of my classroom. I decided to just duck down and run the best I could, hoping no one saw me. I made it to the car and had my Dad run in and get my phone. Didn't go back to my class for a few weeks there.
My girlfriend was a server at a restaurant called Bonefish and she was supposed to ask "Have you ever dined at Bonefish?" but instead she asked "Have you ever boned at Dinefish?" She was mortified but her customers thought it was hilarious.
I've been to Bonefish with my buddy. At one point the waitress comes up and says "Hey guys. How are you? How's everything? " and my friend said "WE'RE DELICIOUS " very loudly. We got a new waitress.
I once hid from my family when they came over for the holidays out of fear of interaction. I hid especially from one of my cousins who was socially aggressive and just made me really anxious. I had nowhere else to hide where there wasn't people, so I went into my bathroom and hid under the sink (I was about 8) and just planned to stay there as long as possible. My cousin (the aggressive one) came in, took a long and winded shit and then left. I just stayed there and am to this day even more terrified of interacting with him. I saw nothing but I heard.... every... sound.
When I was in middle school the teacher had us all read a chapter aloud to the class. Nervously awaiting my turn to read I started to read aloud to the class while someone else was currently reading. Not only once but three times.
Say My Name
Bartender asked me what my name was....I forgot and had to think about it.
I was taking an oral Korean exam and my professor asked my name, I just stared at her with a look of horror because at that moment I forgot my name. She asked again in English and It took about a minute of silence for me to remember my name. Got a 95 at least.
Walked past my classroom but didn't wanna look stupid doing a freshman 180 so I circled alllllll the way around the building, missed it again, and walked to some random restroom nearby and sat in the restroom for like 5 minutes because I didn't want people to recognize me as the dude who keeps doing laps around the f_*_in Chem lab building.
There are a multitude but the one that comes to mind now.
I'm a speech therapist in a school and I? went to talk to one of the teachers about a student. I? just so happened to find this teacher incredibly attractive at the time and tried to avoid him in the building sometimes to not embarrass myself blushing or stumbling over my words.
Anyway, I? go ask him about the student for a minute or 2. Turn around to leave the room. Miss the door by about a foot and walked straight into the wall.
Way of the Sub
I recently moved to a new city, and there's a Subway across the street from my complex. I decided to go there for dinner and wanted to get a footlong for that night and another one for tomorrow. Except I'm a big guy, they wouldn't believe I wouldn't eat them both in one sitting. So being the idiot I am I ordered one for me and had my phone out pretending to get an order from my "brother." Pretty sure they knew, pretty sure they judged, jokes on me though, I ate them both in one sitting anyways.
Oh, this is classic. I thought I was the only one who would order two drinks when getting takeout so they didn't think (well, KNOW) that all that food was for me. That, or say, "I'll have the orange chicken, and then he wants walnut shrimp." I went to Overeaters Anonymous once, and just hearing that others did the extra-drink trick was enough to make me weep with relief!
High Pressure Nails
I was at the mall, not intending to spend much money at all. I was by myself and I tried to avoid all of those annoying mall salesmen that desperately try to bring you over to their booths.... Well, I looked at one of them and.... Ended up spending over 100 dollars on a nail-kit because I was too anxious to say no.
My friends think I'm an idiot. Honestly, I couldn't agree more.
Bow Before the Princess
When I was 8 or 9 I was at my cousins birthday party. At the end of the party every kid got a huge goodie bag filled with candy and toys to take home. So she sat on makeshift throne in the middle of the room, and every kid had to go up one by one and get a goodie bag from the princess. I noped the fuck out and snuck back to my dad's car.
On the ride home I was really regretting my decision tho, and hating myself for being so god damn awkward. So I started crying. That's when dad said he grabbed me a goodie bag before he left. He knew me so well.
The other day at my small office I went to the bathroom to fix my shirt which I had worn inside out. When I went into the stall the bathroom was empty. As I flipped my shirt around someone walked into the stall next to me. I also used some toilet paper to wipe my nose (slight cold) and dropped the paper in the bowl. This triggered the auto flush sensor and it flushed. My predicament began when I realized I also had to pee, but since I had already used TP and flushed my twisted mind decided this would seem really weird to the person next door. "Why would someone use the bathroom, flush... and then stand up and pee again?" said no one ever... But I couldn't, they might recognize my shoes and know who I was.
So instead I hatched a clever deception. I left the stall and washed my hands to seem normal, despite that I hadn't even used this bathroom. After drying I walked loudly to the exit and opened the door into the hall, then I said "oh excuse me" like I had accidentally bumped into someone else coming in, and walked right back in. I made sure to change the sound of my footsteps walking more quietly so that stall-man would think I was a different person and not some freak playing bathroom charades. Then I went to the urinal and peed and then washed my hands again, using the farthest sink so he couldn't spot my shoes.
Call and Response
I'm from Ireland (a Catholic enough country). I deliver pizzas and one night a women said "god be with you" as I was walking away and I stumbled over my words and said "peace be upon you" like the f*ing pizza Pope. Cringed pretty hard walking away as she just looked at me. Edit: toppings be upon you my children.
If someone ever comes to my door when I'm home alone, I'll army crawl around my house, avoiding all the windows until I get to the stairway and I can listen until they leave. I still do this as a 20 year old woman.
I crawl up the stairs to my bedroom, which has a view of the door so I can peep out the blinds until I know they are gone. It's only ever salesmen anyways. Edit: I'm 32.
Super Clean Hands
When entering a public restroom, if there already happens to be somebody in there, I'll wash my hands uselessly until they leave. If somebody else walks in before or just as they leave, I generally decide I don't really need to be there and live that stomach-busting hell until I can find another restroom to start the process all over again.
I'll normally go sit in a stall and wait for the other person to leave. There have been multiple times where I'm sitting there quietly, and the other person sits there quietly...and we just sit there waiting until one of us leaves.
I once stalked a guys social media accounts until I found the school his daughter went to so I could find a buzzbook/address book of that school that said his email address rather than taking 15 second to give him a call. On a number he gave me.
Just Keep Turning
One time I was leaving a party and I turned my car right instead of left. To avoid looking like an idiot and turning around I just went with it and ended up in traffic for about 2 hours.
Asked a worker in the mall for assistance the other day. she looked at me really weird and said she didn't worked there. i internally freaked out. i said "i know" and asked if she could still help, she agreed and turned around to walk in the direction i needed help (facing away from me) and i immediately power walked out of there.
Anything But Dancing
A school friend of mine had invited me to a party at his house. The only person I knew there was him and 2 other people from my school I was not at the best of terms with.
The party was taking place at the roof of his house and it had an open setup with a small room which contained a bed and a tv.
I was tasked with bringing a console for the party and setting it up in that room. When i went in, I realised that the TV can't be connected due to lack of an hdmi port. However, at that moment, I heard music and hooting.
The worst of my fears had come true. People were dancing in a circle and everyone was being pushed into it one by one.
So, naturally i stayed in that small room for the remainder of the party. (around 1.5 hours).
No country is a perfect place to live.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm and sexual assault.
Why does your country suck?
Just because a country is beautiful to look at, doesn't mean it doesn't have its problems under the surface.
Pretty To Look At, Tough To Live In
"Today I learned it has way more expensive gas than neighboring countries and even more expensive gas than Austria. On the other hand minimum salary is 560 euro, while minimum salary in Austria is 1500 euro."
"My country is Croatia. And its economy rly sucks. All the prices (renting, food, etc) are the same like other EU countries but people just have way smaller salaries."
"Because of that many young people emigrated to Ireland and other countries, and the population is falling hard, and getting older and older."
"On the other hand it is a country full of sea, sun, islands, nature and beauty. Definitely nice to live in if you have a decent salary."
"Argentina — nobody knows why it doesn't".
"Argentina. Terrible governance, corruption, never-ending economic crises, poverty and insecurity. We have meat, cereals, fish, oil, minerals, beautiful and diverse landscapes. We were once the richest country in the world (1895). But now the situation is constantly worsening."
"Nobel winning economist Simon Kuznets stated that there are four sorts of countries: "developed countries, underdeveloped countries, Japan — nobody knows why it grows — and Argentina — nobody knows why it doesn't".
Unable To Agree In Bosnia
"There are 3 presidents so nothing will ever get solved"
"There are 3 presidents, 1 of each ethnicity that makes up the country, most of which hate each other. Impossible to come to terms with one another, imagine if the US had 2 presidents that were opposite political parties, they would never agree with each other enough to accomplish anything."
The worse thing about some of these places is how they treat their own citizens.
Or, how they don't treat their citizens.
Trouble On The Island
"New Zealand. We have the highest teen suicide rates sadly. I wish we could do something to change this. I know people are trying but its really not going anywhere. Of course, people with money and power don't do much either."
"In my opinion. It's probably because of our living cost as well as house prices. Cost of everything is increasing so fast and our wage increase is nothing compare to it. Your life savings is nothing compare to the people who already have 2 investment properties, they are going to out bid you straight away. If you want a property in NZ you have to buy one in the rural areas. Thinking about the future is so dam depressing."
A Slow Erosion
"Offshore processing of asylum seekers. The slow erosion of a great healthcare and educational system due to years of conservative governments."
Too Drunk To Work
"We got drunk president that is in hospital in critical condition rn and his spokesman is saying hes completely ok which hes not. Also our soon to be ex prime minister is pretty much a mob. He kidnapped his own son and send him to Krym bcs he could testify in tax and dotation fraud. (Czechia btw.)"
These are just unforgivable.
"mass shootings and sh-t healthcare"
"Ooh ooh I know the answer to this question of which country this is. Pick me."
"The healthcare is fantastic."
"Its the price that will getcha"
An Imperfect System For Criminals
"Our law system."
"In our country, when a crime is commited, u get a sentence, and then u can get some of the sentence removed."
"For an example, "u were under 18 when it happened? 10% off!" "U have a bad situation at home? Very well then, only one year prison instead of three".
"There was an instance where a serial assaulter was given 840 000SEK (around 105 000 dollars) because he was detained, awaiting trial, for the same amount of time as the sentence that he was given, which was around two years. This man assaulted multiple girls and walked out of court a near-millionaire."
"Swede here and i instantly understood what you meant"
The Pandemic Hits Everyone, Everywhere
"Our healthcare is free yet I am terrified to go to the emergency because I will probably be dismissed, rushed, or have to wait 12+ hours in a chair..."
"...First, I absolutely don't want to make a point that free healthcare is bad. I actually should have emphasized the issue is corruption and mismanagement of public funds. I'm in Quebec and have myself worked a long time in the system. It's badly managed from the top down, but don't get me wrong, private is bad, really bad. I worked at a clinic that has public and private services and the social inequalities are insane."
"About other provinces, sorry for the Maritimes, it sounds rough. I've heard Ontario isn't as bad as here. Would be interesting to see the best healthcare in Canada is where"
"Finally, I also heard it is bad like this everywhere else right now and I agree. But you can't even imagine how bad it was pre pandemic already. It is a long complexe issue though and the solution is absolutely NOT to privatize. If anything, over here we have a double system and guess what the public one is turning to sh-t while all the good doctors are turning to private."
"This pandemic has been rough for everyone. Hold strong!!"
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
I eat just about anything, but can't say I'm a fan of okra. Might it have to do with the way it is typically prepared, at least in my experience? It's slimy. It shouldn't be. It would probably taste better fried. But I have friends from the South who swear it is heaven on a plate.
But there's more than food that's disgusting. Like... why do people idolize Joe Exotic, the Tiger King? He's a sexual predator and a criminal. I know we all needed something to watch during lockdown, but damn. Don't tattoo his face on your body!
People shared their opinions after Redditor blackismyfavcolorlol asked the online community,
"What's that one disgusting thing that everybody except you seems to like?"
"It sounds so gross..."
"Deep-fried butter and deep-fried mayonnaise. It sounds so gross but everyone seems to eat it at state fairs or amusement parks."
Yeah... I'll pass.
I love butter. I love mayo. Do they need to be fried, though?
"You know the type..."
"Those social media videos of food being made with so much heavy and greasy s***! You know, the type where it's a whole burger, cooked into a quesadilla with a pound of cheese, then fried and covered in three different sauces."
So unnecessary. And they ultimately become a waste of food because who would actually eat that?
"People who slam..."
"People who slam their friend's faces into birthday cakes. Just stop."
I would be so pissed if I spent so much money on hair and makeup only to have it ruined.
"You know what..."
"You know what I think is sick and weird? Why do some people take pictures of their dead/dying family members? Like "at the hospital with my aunt," and it's pictures of someone's aunt on breathing tubes unconscious. It makes no sense to me why you would take pictures and put them on social media."
"Pictures with babies. Or parents creating Facebook profiles in the name of their children, and those children are like... 3 years old, or less."
"Well, I know I can't be the only one that finds them disgusting, but long fake nails. Unless you have a serious case of hand-washing OCD, there is no way that can be hygienic."
How do these people wipe after going to the bathroom?!
"Truffles. The smell makes my stomach turn. I feel like there has to be some kind of bizarre conspiracy or truffle gatherer lobby or something for them to be so expensive."
"He's a predator..."
The guy is a sociopath who manipulated two young straight men into a sexual relationship, which ended in one of them committing suicide. Then he had the audacity to give the most tasteless eulogy in front of the guy's family.
He's a predator and I'm shocked that more non-straight and non-monogamous people aren't speaking up against him being released and getting more screen time."
There are people out there who have gotten tattoos of him. Why would you want a tattoo of a sexual predator on your body?!
"You look like a clown."
"Lip injections. You look like a clown. I don't get it."
"I have so many friends..."
"Whiskey. I have so many friends who love it, but the moment it touches my tongue I gag immediately, regardless of how expensive it is."
Do you hear that sound?
That's me getting ready to hurl.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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How do you tell if someone has a crush on you?
It's not always so easy, and many of us will fumble our way through it. Perhaps our only experience with navigating crushes comes from John Hughes movies (which I don't recommend following).
Oh, and while this isn't a Hughes movie, I would not recommend doing to one's crushes what the nerds do in the terrible Revenge of the Nerds.
Looking for advice? Look no further. You can thank Redditor chaitea_lexax who asked the online community,
"What is a dead giveaway that someone has a crush on you?"
"When they tell you..."
"When they tell you at your 10-year high school reunion after they've married and had several children and it doesn't matter anymore."
This is oddly specific.
Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion this is not.
"When they try to be mean..."
"When they try to be mean to you, you can tell. If they weren't interested, they wouldn't be trying to tease you, they would just ignore you."
Yeah, but I wish people didn't think that was okay. Mind games aren't cool.
"She stayed in my dorm..."
"Well, she changed in front of me, that didn't tip me off. She stayed in my dorm for 5 days, I was none the wiser. She said she wanted to kiss me, I finally figured it out."
"Although this may be more for initial attraction, women tend to 'oh so casually' drop into conversation their relationship status or better yet, lack thereof. It's rarely subtle, but I don't think men do it quite so much."
Well, if you make clear that you're available, then it would make sense that someone might think that you're interested.
"Though the rule of thumb is usually..."
"It's something that can't really be answered as we are all different in our actions and how we interpret things.
Though the rule of thumb is usually if they attempt to spend more time with you and often seek your help, even if you don't know the answer. It's usually a presence thing. Though again, they may just simply enjoy your company and don't like you any more than just a friend."
"If you hang out..."
"If you hang out in the same social circles there are a few sure-fire ways. The one that is really telling is when something funny happens that makes the entire group laugh. If they look at you straight away to see if you found it funny, they're into you."
I had this happen to me a few times. Sometimes it worked out and sometimes it didn't, I'll leave it at that.
"If you have a watch..."
"If you have a watch, look at the time then look somewhere random. Chances are they will also check the time."
"If you have mutual friends..."
"If you have mutual friends or acquaintances it would probably be your friends or their friends giving you hints or teasing that the person is romantically interested in you."
This has happened with some of my friends and it's pretty cute when it's reciprocated!
"I asked my girlfriend..."
"I asked my girlfriend to marry me today and she said yes. I have suspicions she might have a crush."
Plot twist: it's you!
"A girl would always..."
"This happened to me in college. A girl would always glance at me and when we lock eyes she would look away. I asked her out and during our conversation she touched my forearms and thighs a few times."
When it comes to crushes, it's not necessarily one size fits all, so take any and all advice with a grain of salt. You're better off being direct, but that is, of course, easier said than done.
Have some tips of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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You feel safe all the time...
...but the world is more dangerous than you realize. Even the things you don't normally assume to be deadly, the actions you do every day, can lead to some unfortunate injury or, worse, death.
Watch out for springs. Seriously.
What's dangerous but most people don't realize?
Never underestimate the power of nature. Be it living or non-living, the things out in the wild are more ferocious than you realize.
Water Always Wins
"Water, specifically moving water. People have no sense about how powerful large volumes of moving water can be."
"My grandfather used to point out boulders in flash flood channels and ask us how they got there. A flash flood is literally thousands of gallons of water moving with the force of a hurricane, mowing down anything in it path; your odds of survival if you get caught in one are slim to none. Water is no joke!"pretty-as-a-pic
They're Called "Wild" For A Reason
"Ever since I saw that woman on TV that was ripped apart by her own pet chimp, I swear I would freak out if I ever had to be in the vicinity of a chimp irl. She didn't die but it f-cked her up bad enough that those things scare me. When people use them in music videos or whatever, I always think of that lady."
"It wasn't her chimp - it was her neighbor's. And she was known to the chimp, and had interacted with it for years before, on friendly terms."
"One day it just went, well, ape.."
It's Literally A Big Ball Of Burning Death
"THE SUN. Skin cancer is a major killer that is easily preventable by wearing sunscreen. Sun damage is more significant than many people realize and it's such an easy thing to avoid."
Even The Cute Ones...
"ALL wild animals are dangerous, even if they don't look it. Most people know that large predators like mountain lions and bears are dangerous, but many underestimate herbivores and/or smaller animals like deer and squirrels. A lot of people assume smaller animals/herbivores are tame, and try to get close or even touch them. This is extremely dangerous- these animals don't understand humans, and an animal that feels cornered or threatened will lash out to try and escape. Please keep a safe and respectful distance from any animal you don't know!"
Going to the doctor can feel like a big weight, especially if you don't have the right kind of coverage. That's probably why things like the following can lead to dangerous outcomes.
Brush, Brush, Brush Your Teeth
"An infected tooth."
"True! An abscess under the gum line can literally kill you."
"Argued with a receptionist about this. I had one badly and she said she'd never heard of it killing anyone. Like... yeah, ask your damn boss."
Go For A Walk
"A bad diet and sedentary lifestyle. Most people don't think about how these two can lead to an incredible amount of health problems and how they can remain asymptomatic for years and suddenly have a heart attack or stroke."
And then there's these, typical, every day actions or items we might come into contact with which actually pose more of a threat than we realize.
Watch out for those springs.
"Driving. The forces involved in driving are way above anything the human body can withstand should things go wrong. All the safety features built into cars lead us to believe that it's a safe activity, which encourages additional risky behaviors like texting. Everybody should be hyper focused while driving down the highway at 80mph, but almost everybody is doing something else in addition to driving."
Buckle Up THE RIGHT WAY
"90% of children are improperly restrained in the car."
"I spent a decade as a CPST and the things I've seen are deeply upsetting knowing they're easily fixable with an hour or two of effort."
"I've seen children internally decapitated. Parents put their kids in car seats forward facing far too early, booster seats before they're truly large enough, coats under the straps, straps never properly tightened."
"Car accidents are still a leading cause of death. The awareness has gotten better in the last 15 years but with plenty of room for improvement."
"If you have a child, please make an appointment with a certified CPST whenever they are big enough for their next seat or seating position. It's worth the effort."
"Also, not every fire fighter is a CPST. The goal is to teach YOU how to install the seat, not to have them do it for you."
Think Of Your Mental Health
"toxic workplace. stay there long enough and you will hate life itself"
"And then the toxic people who say "think about the money" when you mention quitting for your mental health"
Hire A Professional
"Garage door springs will f-ck you up."
"I'm generally a do-it-yourselfer, but I don't mess with breaker boxes or garage door springs."
Be safe out there. You never know when a wild spring is going to jump out of the dark, ready to attack.
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