Strike a Pose.
I was in a dance class a few years ago and we had to do improv. Everyone there was a WAY better dancer than me,so I had a difficult time just with that. Well, my teacher gave us 5 mins to come up with a dance to a whole song, and you'd have to dance in front of the class alone. I noped the hell out of there and ran and hid in the bathroom. My cell phone was still in the classroom,but at that point I didn't care. I decided to sneak out the front door of the studio. Well there's a small problem there. The walkway to the parking lot was in front of the giant windows of my classroom. I decided to just duck down and run the best I could,hoping no one saw me. I made it to the car and had my Dad run in and get my phone. Didn't go back to my class for a few weeks there.
When in doubt, pull a Tarzan!
Climbed a tree to get away from people at an outdoor party. Stayed there until everyone left and then went home.
STOP! This ain't hammer time!
It was 3rd grade. I had a presentation the next day that I really didn't want to do so I took a hammer and sat in the backyard trying to break my own ankle. I just ended up bruising it because I couldn't go full force.
Excuse me? Pardon me? Whatever works.
The other day at my small office I went to the bathroom to fix my shirt which I had worn inside out. When I went into the stall the bathroom was empty. As I flipped my shirt around someone walked into the stall next to me. I also used some toilet paper to wipe my nose (slight cold) and dropped the paper in the bowl. This triggered the auto flush sensor and it flushed. My predicament began when I realized I also had to pee, but since I had already used TP and flushed my twisted mind decided this would seem really weird to the person next door. "Why would someone use the bathroom, flush... and then stand up and pee again?" said no one ever... But I couldn't, they might recognize my shoes and know who I was.
So instead I hatched a clever deception. I left the stall and washed my hands to seem normal, despite that I hadn't even used ths bathroom. After drying I walked loudly to the exit and opened the door into the hall, then I said "oh excuse me" like I had accidentally bumped into someone else coming in, and walked right back in. I made sure to change the sound of my footsteps walking more quietly so that stall-man would think I was a different person and not some freak playing bathroom charades. Then I went to the urinal and peed and then washed my hands again, using the farthest sink so he couldn't spot my shoes.
The bathroom is always a scary place.
I once hid from my family when they came over for the holidays out of fear of interaction. I hid especially from one of my cousins who was socially aggressive and just made me really anxious. I had nowhere else to hide where there wasn't people, so I went into my bathroom and hid under the sink (I was about 8) and just planned to stay there as long as possible. My cousin (the aggressive one) came in, took a long and winded poop and then left. I just stayed there and am to this day even more terrified of interacting with him. I saw nothing but I heard.... every... sound.
Knock, knock. Whose there? I don't care.
There was a time when I would hide whenever someone unexpectedly knocked on the door. Sometimes I would literally be lying on the floor behind the couch trying not to breathe too loud in case they could hear me. I still hide occasionally, I hate people turning up without calling first.
When I was about 11, I stood in a room with my mom and her employees after an office Thanksgiving luncheon. They were chatting away about various things and we were all snacking. I took a bite of turkey and as I went to swallow it, it lodged in my throat. I kept swallowing as hard as I could but it wouldn't budge and I couldn't breathe. I didn't have a drink near me, either. So, I stood there attempting to get it down while giving NO INDICATION that I was literally choking on my food... Because I didn't want to interrupt the conversation or draw attention to myself. My vision was starting to black on the edges and I was full-on panicking inside when I finally got it swallowed down. I remember breathing heavy through my nose and my eyes watering, thinking how stupid I just was but now I DEFINITELY couldn't say anything about it.
Sometimes it feels like anxiety will kill you, sometimes it almost does.
Do I hear an echo?
When I was in middle school the teacher had us all read a chapter aloud to the class. Nervously awaiting my turn to read I started to read aloud to the class while someone else was currently reading. Not only once but three times.
What a party?
Driving to a party, sat outside of it in my car the entire time, left. Next day, said I was there.
Do I know you?
I went into a store I used to work at expecting to see my coworkers so I could greet them. A lady was there, but I had no idea what who she was. She asked me if she could help, and I stuttered a no.
Then I stood and kind of tapped my feet around like I was a tap dancer and I tried apologizing but instead said "I uh....I'm not looking for you." She looked so confused and I could feel my face getting red. I literally ran out. Not just walked quickly- ran and slammed into the door(its heavy) and hurt my arm.
Though injured, I trudged on. I heard her call out and ask if I was okay as I ran out. Now I can never go back.
Just keep walking.
Walked into a bar that was packed full of people who had all come home for Christmas to my small town. I knew everybody there. I walked in, walked through the crowd, right past my sister, and out the back door. When my sister and I saw each other, she looked at me, like, oh crap. You're freaking out I bet. She knows all about my social anxiety. She knew exactly what I had just done, and she thought it was hilarious.
I can't look people in the eye. If I keep eye contact longer than couple of seconds I either feel this weird vibe like the other person is looking into my soul or some weird sexual tension. Like I get the urge to make out with them. I find long eye contact to be one of the most personal things I can do with someone. And it gets really noticeable after a while, especially during drinking in mixed company.
Someone get some sage.
My roommates and I hosted a party. I wasn't having a good night, and went into my room to find two people I didn't know making out on my bed. I said,"Please leave when you're done" and went in my friend's room instead to curl up and freak out.
No one needs that much honesty.
I'm a retail cashier. A woman was buying a dress and humorously stated that she might be too fat for it. Me, never one to disagree with a customer, smiled and said, "Yup!"
I burned a few calories hitting my head on the counter after that exchange.
I hide when I have to make important phone calls at work. I hate phoning people, yet went and got a job that required it, which is ridiculous. I'll hide my caller ID and go take a walk to calm myself down then use my mobile to call clients away from the office so nobody is listening.
Just close your eyes a minute.
I once hid under a pile of blankets to avoid talking to someone I knew was coming up to my boyfriend's apartment for a few minutes.
Gotta go, gotta go... gotta go right now!
Living with roommates at the time, I was in my bedroom and had to pee really really bad but they were having a bit of a party. I decided to stay hidden in my bedroom and pee in an empty water bottle so I didn't have to interact with people on my way to the washroom.
Use your words!
One time, I had to leave someone a voicemail. So I wrote out exactly what I had to say and read it like a script when I left the message. Something about making calls really gets me anxious and I forget what I was going to say. Or it gets jumbled. Scripts help.
Although I am better at calls now. This was years ago.
Just use your Google maps.
Walked past my classroom but didn't wanna look stupid doing a freshman 180 so I circled alllllll the way around the building, missed it again, and walked to some random restroom nearby and sat in the restroom for like 5 minutes because I didn't want people to recognize me as the dude who keeps doing laps around the Chem lab building
Don't skip meals.
My parents always bring up the time when I was 4 and we were at this Mexican restaurant. Apparently they started singing "Happy Birthday" to me, to which I smiled, but then got nervous and promptly, confidently, leaned over and bit my dad on the arm.
I was going leave my room to make dinner but then I heard my roommates and their friends talking outside. I didn't want to talk to them so I waited until they left and just bought take out instead.
H/T : Reddit
Fast fingers come in handy if you're an avid texter. Just make sure you proofread for typos before hitting "send."
Downer<p>Some people would rather be bombarded with notifications than reading these unsettling texts. </p>
Grim Announcement<p>"'Are you a friend of...?' 'Yeah why?' 'He passed away.' This message came from the account of that friend, so I thought I was getting pranked. It still feels so unreal, losing a friend you met online. I only met him in person once, but I drove 10 hours out to the service anyways, I'd known him online for 5 years. He was only a few years over 20. I'll miss that man."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp288lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">its_ya_boi_big_ghoul</a><br></p>
Worst False Alarm Ever<p>"Emergency Alert."</p><p>"BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL."</p><p>"Would have got to be the worst one, surely?" </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gozs00g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">heisdeadjim_au</a><br></p>
Possibly Dreadful News<p>"My mom: 'please call me'"</p><p>"Me every time: <em>oh god, dad is dead.:<br></em></p><p><em>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp177bz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ihatereddit1221</a></em><br><em></em></p>
One Of Two Things<p>"Yes! My dad does this."</p><p>"Please call me ASAP."</p><p>"That means either someone died, or he needs help with his router."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp3zia1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">SeizureAugustus</a><br></p>
Typos<p>This is a reminder that even spellcheck can gets things wrong. </p><p>Only you, the sender, knows the context of the message you write. </p>
Bad Typo<p>"Friend texted a colleague 'I locked the keys in the office.' Only, predictive text changed 'keys' to 'Jews'."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp2e697?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Own-Bridge4210</a><br></p>
Oops<p>"I mass texted a bunch of friends and family about hurricane evacuation and autocorrect changed it to ejaculation. That was a fun day."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp460kw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">wired89</a><br></p>
One Disturbing And One Devastating<p>"'I did suck him, so I may have gotten herpes' Sent to me by my dad followed by 'that wasn't meant for you'</p><p>"A second not disturbing but devastating was 'Grandma just went into Hospice. If you want to say goodbye you need to fly out tomorrow.' Got that text on a Tuesday, flew out Wednesday, Grandma died on Friday morning."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp20q8d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Capt_RRye</a><br></p>
Bizarre Threats<p>Whether it's a prank call or egregious sarcasm, nobody likes receiving these. </p>
Creepy<p>"One night just as I was drifting off to sleep, my phone buzzed with the message, 'We're watching,' from an unknown number."</p><p>"I just replied, 'Prepare for boredom.'"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp17exo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">selftypohater</a><br></p>
The Sarcastic Threat<p>"If you're not home in 20 minutes I'll gut your cats and hang them from the ceiling."</p><p>From my husband. While I was in the hospital."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp21ogk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">AliceMorgon</a><br></p>
Wrong Number<p>"I got a message in the middle of the night from an unknown number telling me to stop sleeping with their husband, albeit in somewhat stronger language. I'm pretty certain it wasn't meant for me as I wasn't sleeping with anyone's husband. I replied saying I didn't think the message was meant for me and never heard anything more."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gozccx3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">nxtec</a><br></p>
Outdoor festivals feel like something from some sort of an alternate reality at this point, don't they?
The Weirdest Items<p>Sometimes you'll stumble across the weirdest items at a post-festival cleanup. Without any inhibitions, people won't think twice about leaving something behind, even if that something is maybe worth something or important to their survival.</p>
What Even Is Money?<p>I helped out some hippie friends of mine running this little hippie festival called Chronophonium, about 500 people camping for 3 days. Lots of themes around sustainability, recycling and what not.</p><p>Almost everyone left brand new tents in disheveled states all over the place.</p>
At Least They Weren't Frogs?<p>I'm an usher at my neighbourhood movie theatre so idk if this counts but I found a plastic bag under a seat with 6 guppies swimming around inside so I kept the guppies for myself lol. I had to Google how to take care of fish but it was fun and I still have them today</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop7nbt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">bethanytaylor</a></p>
Why Cover It Up? Out Of Shame?<p>My dad used to be the guy in charge of renting out the Knights of Columbus hall. Per policy, he had to be on-site during the event, but would clean up after. The cleanup would usually be the next day, and I'd come along to help.</p><p>The best thing we found was a $500 tip left behind by the father of the bride after a wedding reception with a little thank-you note.</p><p>The worst was finding the punch bowl the next day after someone had puked in it and put a lid over it. I'm pretty sure it had been spiked with something pretty strong before that, too.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop80ly?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Lentra888</a></p>
Lucked Out<p>Sometimes, working these events leads to some good fortunate. People don't tend to watch their wallets or bags when having too much fun, leading to a great payoff for those forced to sweep up after.</p>
Australia Sounds Great<p>I cleaned up for an event once and it was an event where you weren't allowed to bring your own alcohol in (so they can get you to buy it from the event itself and whatnot) so cops were taking people's alcohol. cool, that's fine.</p><p>I was cleaning up and two cops walked over and asked if I was 18. I showed them my license to prove I was, and they gave me almost $1000 of untouched alcohol that they'd confiscated from people trying to sneak it in. bottles of vodka and tequila, a lot of beer and rum and a bunch of ciders all given to me cause I was a volunteer and not getting paid otherwise. was f-cking great</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop83do?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">dorkynoodleman</a></p>
That's How A Home Begins<p>I've cleaned up and found entire cooking sets and chairs.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/goounwe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">rickrolo24</a></p><p>Free kitchen</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gooy3uu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Mx-Quack</a></p>
Getting The Short End Of The Money Stick<p>Did it once, as a fundraiser for a youth organisation, and collectively we found £3000 and ten mobile phones, and this was during the days when it was a somewhat luxury to have a phone.</p><p>(clarification edit: I didn't personally find and keep all of the above, this is what was found by the group of us, which was around forty teenagers. I found £35 and no phones)</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gooqnxs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">SlackHandful</a></p>
...Gross<p>And here's the stories we were all probably expecting.</p>
Sh*t Tents? This Has To Be The Worst One...<p>Bottle of rum, lots and lots of drugs, watches, phones, perfectly good clothes, welly boots, wallets/cash etc.</p><p>Worst is sh-t tents. As in, abandoning your tent but doing a massive sh-t in it before you go so it can't be reused.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop1x9g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">meehaja</a></p>
...Annnnd There It Is.<p>I did a clean at a 3 day music festival once. </p><p>Literally the first night I had to clean one of the portable shower cubicles, because someone had sh-t in the corner and stuck a cocktail umbrella in it.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gooyw6d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Wheresma10mmsocket</a></p>
No, This Is The On-DID YOU SAY A WHAT BODY?<p>Poop tent.</p><p>It's a 5 gallon bucket filled with laundry detergent with a toilet seat on top placed in a cheap tent. Imagine open that sucker up after 4 days of 100 degree weather.</p><p>Dead body. It was an apparent OD.</p><p>Booze and drugs. Also a nitrous tank. (That night after work was fun)</p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop6ldu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Simplekin77</a>
Over-sharing is a thing. Sometimes, people really just cross the line in the information they've decided to volunteer to us.
It's hard to control who does this to us since it tends to take us by surprise, but hearing some of the things that people have suffered having to hear can easily act as cautionary tales to us.
Seriously, Who Asked<p>I used to work at an animal shelter and we had several people who would come volunteer to help out.</p><p>One of the women who came there on a regular basis went to lunch with me. She was such a sweet woman, a little older than I was at the time. She proceeded to tell me that she used to go to the park and hook up with old men because she felt sorry for them.</p><p>WTF?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/moviesandcats/" target="_blank">moviesandcats</a></p>
Decent Bloke....<p>I (25f at the time) was at A&E in the UK. I got discharged and was waiting for my taxi outside. This buff shirtless dude, covered in tattoos (they were decent too, imo) comes over and asks for a light. I bought a zippo for novelty so I obliged.</p><p>We got to talking and he told me how he had just got out of prison after serving a life sentence for killing his father, after his father murdered his baby sister. Had his records on him and everything (he was at the hospital as he was diabetic and had experienced an issue of some sort after being released - I have no expertise here).</p><p>I have never feared and respected a man so much in my life.</p><p>I bought him a pint after my taxi decided it wouldn't be arriving. Decent bloke - we still speak 9 years later.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heavenhelpyou/" target="_blank">heavenhelpyou</a></p>
Oh....Sounds Fun....<p>My sophomore year In college a girl who I had a group project with told me that her first sexual experience was getting tag teamed by a couple of guys while she was in high school. </p><p>I just told her "wow, that's pretty intense." She told me that she loved it and then I changed the subject. Until that point nothing sexual had come up in the conversation.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Nothing_/" target="_blank">Nothing_</a></p>
TW: Suicide<p>My manager at my job in high school decided to tell us about how she tried to end her life on my very first day. </p><p>She was like, "One day, I decided to take some pills and end it all. I grabbed a pill bottle out of my mom's cabinet and took a handful without even looking at what it was and then lay down to die. I was so surprised to wake up in the morning perfectly fine. Confused, I checked the bottle to see what I had taken."</p><p>Yeah, it was estrogen.</p>
Please Tell Me About Your Infidelity<p>My wife loves to tell this story.</p><p>Her first day at a new company she was to meet another employee who would show her around the office. She met her in the lobby and on the elevator ride up to the office she proceeded to tell my wife how her husband has gained some weight and she is considering starting an office affair with a co-worker who is really into fitness and 'has muscles' (apparently she made a gesture where she fanned herself while saying muscles)</p><p>Like literally my wife met this lady 5 minutes earlier for the first time in the lobby and she is already unloading all this stuff on her.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Boxman75/" target="_blank">Boxman75</a></p>
TW: Abuse<p>I was seated next to a quiet kid on a high school band bus to a football game. He'd been in my band class for years, but I had never really spoken to him. He was the type who didn't fit into anything at school that I ever saw. I resolved to get to know him a bit and open up a conversation since we were going to be sitting by each other for a few hours. It was like a dam burst; that dude talked for the whole trip.</p><p>At one point, he told me that his mom was really unhappy with his stepdad but couldn't afford to divorce him. And then he told me that his stepdad would get drunk and beat him with a stick, but he wasn't sure if his mom was also getting beaten and that scared him. There was a brief pause before he said "I never told anyone that before..." Then he changed the subject completely.</p><p>I must've been seventeen or so. It shook me. Like... Obviously I was old enough to know that sort of thing happens, but too sheltered to think it happened to anyone I knew. I told my parents about it-- seemed the right thing to do. I don't know what happened from there. He and I never really spoke of it again. I just looked him up on Facebook, though. Looks like he's done really well for himself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DietrichBuxtehude/" target="_blank">DietrichBuxtehude</a></p>
Not The Thing To Tell Your Nurse<p>I was doing my practice in a hospital. They brought a young man in the neuro clinic, he was my 1st patient. He was around 30 and he had fallen from a tree while working. </p><p>He turned out to have a complicated neurological condition that had nothing to do with his fall. He was also diagnosed with severe depression. He was in there for months and no one ever visited him, the only time he felt a bit better was when I visited him and did some tests to him. </p><p>He said "it's nice when you come and make me play with the coloured toys and make me draw things". One day he was looking out of the window, when I came in he looked me dead in the eye and told me "you know, if the windows didn't have protective bars, I'd jump right out". It was the 1st time I'd heard such thing and I remember it ever since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Shoddy_Natural4217/" target="_blank">Shoddy_Natural4217</a></p>
Ope Okay Guess We're Going There<p>Coworker took out a client for a business lunch at a small town restaurant. He asks the waitress "How are you?" to be polite. </p><p>She proceeds to go on a 5 minute spiel about how terrible her ex husband is and how he's ruining her life and how she feels like crap because of it. After she finishes, takes their order and leaves the customer says "So you must know her pretty well?" </p><p>"Only well enough to say hi in passing." </p><p>"Oh, so then that was just as awkward for you as it was for me then?" </p><p>"Yes, yes it was."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NowhereinSask/" target="_blank">NowhereinSask</a></p>
The Evidence Is The Burn<p>Some guy next to me on the bus once went into a long elaborate story about how he burned his house down for insurance money like three weeks prior.</p><p> I wouldn't have believed it if his hands didn't have massive burn scarring.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/STARCRUSHER99/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">STARCRUSHER99</a></p>
Who Are You Fooling?<p>Met this dude in college when he moved into the dorm. Goofy looking redneck kid from the San Antonio area. I'm getting to know him when I notice his Spice Girls cd (this was like 2003), and I commented on it. </p><p>He then goes into this long story of how he was at the Walmart in San Antonio, looking at the CDs in that store and just happened to have bumped into Ginger Spice who invited him into the tour bus that no one had noticed, and he lost his virginity to all the Spice Girls at once.</p><p>My thought was "Thank you for this story, I know instantly that I can never trust or believe anything you ever tell me again." It's been almost 20 years and I still can't believe that was something he said in the first five minutes of meeting me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/GreatJanitor/" target="_blank">GreatJanitor</a></p>
We're never that surprised when we encounter people who are lackluster at their jobs. Bad waiters, rude customer service people, dishonest contractors, or inept colleagues abound throughout daily life.
But it's interesting that we expect to encounter that kind of ineptitude far less with certain professionals.