Anonymous Pet Owners Share What They Wish They Could Tell Their Pets
Pets make wonderful companions. But no matter how close we are to our pets, there is still a communication barrier. But what if there wasn't?
Reddit user YellowUmbrellaGuy asked "You are given 1 hour to communicate with your pets so that they understand you perfectly and you understand them perfectly. What do you guys talk about?"
Here are pet owners replies.
Preparing for the Inevitable
Hey buddy, there's something I want to discuss, and it's kinda morbid...
dogs live shorter lives than humans. We hate it. If I could choose, I'd have you live just as long as me - animals certainly deserve to more than people (at least in my opinion).
There's going to probably come a day when your body breaks down before mine, and it will tear me apart to say goodbye. But I will do it, and you won't be alone. I promise. We actually allow this dignity much better for you guys than we do for ourselves. With tears in my eyes and you in my arms, you will drift off to sleep, dreaming of all of the happy times we share.
I love that we can chat now, because as much as we "get" each other in every other way, this is one that I never thought we'd be able to talk about, and it's very important to me that you understand.
Without this chat, I'd have to make my best guess on your quality of life, and I'd be making that decision to end your life when you're in pain on my own, not knowing if I have your consent. At least now, you can give it to me, let's work out a signal when things get so bad and you want to sleep.
Anyway, let's not worry about all that today. We still have so much time left, memories to make and places to go. I love ya buddy, you're my best friend. Thank you for bringing so much happiness into my life.
Music to My Ears
I'd talk with my cat about not sleeping inside the grand piano so that he doesn't have to scramble out when I strike the first chord.
100 Pounds
Okay guys listen, barking while I'm pouring you food will help nothing.
If you have to pee sit at the back door and bark.
The train isn't going to murder us.
Stop spinning in a circle and barking at the ground when your collar beeps it means you can't go any further.
I know you're excited when I get home, I am too, but you weigh over 100 pounds and your claws hurt so please don't jump on me.
Other than that, we good homies let's chill.
Selective Sickness
First off, you're both neutered so, please stop trying to bang him. Especially when it's obvious you're the only one having a good time. He shouldn't have to keep hissing at you to get you to stop. At this point it has been established he does not share your enthusiasm.
Second, please stay off my desk, the stove, and the entertainment center. Anywhere else, feel free to climb and explore, so long as you stop chewing on cables. That's a great way to get yourself shocked or worse.
Third, if you're gonna vomit, try and do it on the tile instead of the carpet, makes life easier for everyone.
You are both fantastic boys, and if you can keep to those few things, life will be even smoother sailing.
Mourning
My dog just died recently, so I'd tell him how sorry I was for putting him down but that I saw he was in pain and had a good life. Then I'd tell him how much of a good boy he was and that I still get hit with how much I miss him all the time.
Bunny Love
We just got a second bunny, so I would tell my bun that this is your sister and she really likes you and if you can stop being mean and stomping and hitting her, I promise to give you strawberries everyday.
I would also tell my dog I love him so much and show him the tattoo I have of him. He'd probably love it and want to get one of me.
I would ask them all if they have any comments, questions, or concerns and ask if they are happy.
Early Life
I'd ask them about their lives before we adopted them from a shelter, what were their old homes like, and how did they end up at the shelter? And then I'd want to make sure that they are happy here and that they know they are loved very much!
Ferreting Out the Truth
I'd ask my ferret why he is so cheeky.
I'd ask him to not bite my feet and go to the bathroom outside of his tray and tell him he'd get out more regularly if he didn't.
He'd probably ask for something to be with that isn't his teddy.
I'd ask him how he is with the teddy since he's been snipped and offer my congrats.
He'd then ask me why he was snipped at all.
I'd say it was his previous mum and dad.
He'd ask why he wasn't there anymore.
I'd have no answer and the rest of the hour would be awkward silence.
love, Love, LOVE
With dogs:
"So when family members show up, you don't have to bark."
"Yes, great, I love you."
"And also, if you do a clockwise 360, I'll know you need your water refilled."
"Haha, yes, I love you."
"Btw the vacuum isn't a portal to hell, it just cleans stuff."
"Why would you want things to be clean? Also, I love you."
Temporary
I have cats who hate being moved in a carrier or leaving the house for any reason whether it's to see the vet or to stay with a friend. So I'd tell my cats that being in the carrier is only temporary and that I will be back soon and that I'd never leave them permanently.
And also, it's OK to say hi to strangers. They aren't bad people. No need to hide. They just want to pet you and I know you like that so be a good kitty.
Poisonous Gas
I would ask my dog to leave the room if she was going to fart. Her bum blasts are incredibly potent.
TMI
Why are you so loud when you're licking yourself? I can hear you slurping from the other room sometimes; it's ridiculous.
Checking Up
Mostly I'd just make sure they were happy and that they knew I loved them.
Caviar Dreams and Champagne Wishes
If you start using the toilet then flush it, you can name what you want to eat, within reason.
Good-bye
I'm sorry that your owner and I are breaking up, and I'm sorry that because she's moving to another state that I'll never see you again. You are the best dog and friend a guy could ever have, and if we meet in the afterlife, I will give you all the treats I can. Thank you for the last six years. I love you.
Planning For The Future
I would use the time to develop a better system of communication between us for afterwards, so I don't have to wonder whether he wants out, food, or whatever, he could perform a certain specific action for each.
I would also tell him how much I love and appreciate him.
Speaking His Language
I think I'd just bark at my dog for an hour and SEE HOW HE LIKES IT, DAMMIT!
Dog: "this is great. i feel like we finally understand each other."
Mea Culpa
That he's perfect and I love him to death and if I step on his paw I'm really really sorry.
A Little Less Sass
I'd tell her if she knew it was family or a friend at the door, she did not have to bark. The worst is when I pull up, and she's staring right at me through the garden window, wagging her tail; defensive barking. Like. You see it's me, drop the attitude lady.
"NO STAY OUTSIDE I HAVEN'T FINISHED HIDING THE 'PRESENTS'."
Circular Arguments
Oh god, the time it would take to explain anything to my cat would be more than an hour.
"Why can't I have more food?"
"Because you eat a half pound of meat a day already and are a healthy weight."
"So?"
"Sooo, that's 5% of your body weight and an average healthy cat eats 2-3%. Honestly it's a testament to your diet that you're maintaining such a healthy weight as is."
"Why would I want a healthy weight if it means less food?"
"Well I give you treats."
"Yeah, about those, why don't you give me more?"
"It's so you can be healthy and live a long time."
"I'm here for a good time, not a long time."
Already this conversation is looking to eat up 10-15 minutes and I haven't even gotten to why I can't play with him at 3AM.
"The question isn't why do I do flyby's on your bed at 3am, but instead why are you sleeping then? You see, I'm not sleeping and that is all that matters."
The problem with arguing with the cat is that I think the cat is probably smarter. Like comic book villain smarter.
There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
<p>Human history is rife with unsettling facts. Things about the planet itself, about our weather, about animals in the wild; things about language--it's rife with unsettling facts. The world is a big scary place.</p><p>u/YolandaJenkins5454 asked:</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqviv1/whats_a_deeply_unsettling_fact/" target="_blank">What's a deeply unsettling fact?</a><br></p><p>Here were some of those answers.</p><p><br></p>
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The Easier Way Out
<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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At LEAST One?!
<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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WELP
<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>Venture into the valley of dark secrets and facts. It's scary here.</strong></p>
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Internet History
<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Awful, Awful
<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>Viewer, Beware....
<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Statistically....
<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>These facts will surely keep you awake at night.</strong></p>
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Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too
<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Now, its called a <em>genetic</em> disorder because that's the <em>most</em> common way to contract it. But that isn't the <em>only</em> way. FFI is a prion disease, meaning if you accidently come into contact with an infected prion you can still end up with FFI. The most common way to come into contact with an infected prion is by consuming tainted meat, contact with improperly cleaned surgical equipment, and contact with infected dead bodies.</p><p>But thats not all! FFI can also spontaneously appear in sufferers with no family history of it and no known contact with an infected (mutated) prion. How does this happen? What are prions?</p><p>We all have prions. They are proteins in our brains that are needed for our brains to properly function. A prion is when a protein in the brain folds over abnormally due to a mutation. The bad protein triggers other proteins in the brain to also fold abnormally. The way these folds occur and where they occur determines which type of prion disease the now infected brain contracts. And it is highly contagious. Almost all prion diseases can be genetic, induced when exposed to mutated prions, or occur spontaneously. So far we don't know why they occur spontaneously or how to prevent them from doing so.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RealAbstractSquidII/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RealAbstractSquidII</a></p>
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Rise Of The Machines
<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>So Can We Fix The Justice System Now
<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p class=""><strong>We live alongside these scary facts each and every day of our lives. We have already accepted them as risks we take just for being human.</strong></p><p><strong>What are some of the most unsettling facts you know?</strong></p>
Keep reading...
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People Who Thoroughly Read The Terms And Conditions Share The Strangest Things They've Found
February 25 | 2021
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
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<p>For me, not reading the terms and conditions before signing up for an image site meant I wasn't aware my images could just end up anywhere... and that's how a whole group of people in Nigeria think I'm in the illuminati and was punished by God. </p><p>It's a long story, and I'm not going to go into it again in this article, but if you're interested I promise it's not hard to find with a little Google-fu.</p><p>For others, not reading the terms and conditions ends up as the mother of all cautionary tales played out in the courts. </p><p><strong>One Reddit user asked:</strong> </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/" target="_blank">Users who read the terms and conditions, what are some of the worst things we've agreed to without paying attention?</a></p><p>Some responses were horrifying in a way. Not catching these could have had some pretty ugly repercussions. </p>
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The Catch Was...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Get It From The Next Owner
<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br>So I never pulled the trigger and didn't really bother looking into other restaurants. I'm not sure I'd do it now, honestly. With the capital and the same opportunity...that's still a tough sale. My life is very different. I didn't have children.</p><p>I had never started a business, so I didn't know how much work it is. I also learned SO much more about food since then. Food was NEVER my dream though.</p><p>I was going to be in charge though, this time without corporate crap.</p><p>I just don't know.</p><p>Still what a dream SPOT! I didn't do it justice, there were 4 video games in a room and a balcony up top. There was a lot next to it and it's freeway adjacent I mean COME ON!</p><p>The only problem was the crappy food. Someone, no joke, built a 50's style restaurant next to a highway, forgot to equip it with an oven, and just did nothing about it for years.</p><p>You give me that same contract today without the clause and the backing I had...</p><p>50/50 shot on me dropping everything for it still.</p><p>If I got rich one day I promise to check up on it. If it's in bad hands at all I'll buy it and make it better. Name it after my grandpa who was a restaurant owner.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx3ek7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Laethin7</a></p>
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18 Months
<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Idol Entitlement
<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>Phone Privileges
<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Good Ol' US of A
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Keep It
<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Airlines
<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Sad Story Time:</p><p>Wednesday afternoon, a handicapped woman with crutches, let's call her Sara, boards our plane for Kansas City. It's the midst of a Hurricane Down South. We taxi out, and get held there. </p><p>We sat on the tarmac 2.5 hours. We go back to the gate, and we are pressured to not let anyone off, but eventually some people do. </p><p>We then taxi back out to the runway and the hurricane is like directly over us, with lightning all 360 around our aircraft. It was pitch black at like 4 in the afternoon with roaring thunder and lightning. Sara is getting nervous and starts to panic and wants to get off the plane now. </p><p>Problem is, there are planes in front of us, and planes behind us, and we can't move. I explain the only way is if she goes out on a Rescue truck. So we sit there almost 3 hours, and the Pilots time out. </p><p>So by then the planes have spaced out enough that we can turn around and go back to the gate. This lady is super stressed out. </p>
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<p>Anyway, the flight gets cancelled due to the weather - all flights are cancelled.</p><p>The next flight on our airline is Sunday, 4 days from now. Plus it's 'next available' which means that if there is 70 people on this flight and 60 on the Sunday flight, only 10 more of this flight are going to get on, and if they paid for First Class, they probably won't get first class on the next available.</p><p>At this point, the poor lady is devastated. She is not allowed to sleep in the airport. All the hotels in NYC are booked solid with stranded crew members, and NO airlines offer free hotels when it's weather related. </p><p>She probably could get a hotel for $1,000/night but all the lesser expensive ones are sold out by the 1,000 crew stranded in New York from all the airlines.</p><p>This poor lady was stranded with no money, no help, and nowhere she could go. I felt awful for her. She couldn't stay at the airport as passengers are not allowed to be at the airport from 12:01 am to 4:00 am. Luckily, you can go to one of the nearby hotels and rest until your next flight... unless it's booked solid because of a hurricane. </p><p>I don't know if she would have been more prepared had she read the terms, but she was definitely NOT prepared for us to tell her what her contract stated in the event of a flight canceled due to weather. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny7502?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TommyGunz007</a></p>
Crepes
<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Even though he barely sold any crepes, he was super pissed. The owner was a d!ck. He reminded me of the contract and made me feel like he would sue me if I did this.</p><p>I ended up tape recording him yelling at an employee like he does every morning, he would yell at the stoner/maybe slightly special needs dishwasher for little things. My last paycheck was "in the mail" for several weeks until I went in one day and said I wouldn't leave without it.</p><p>He cut the cheque when I showed him the video. We didn't end up doing crepes anyways. Looking back I probably lost my desire and momentum with the negativity, but ya.</p><p>F*ck that. For minimum wage giving up your ability to do a thing of your own? Crazy.</p><p>I sort of wished I let the video public as he was all about face and looking good, but I felt for his kids and wife. They do make good meat pies those Australians.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyu62d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Homestead1111</a></p>
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<p>But others just seemed kind of ... "interesting."</p><p>Like, did you know Amazon has zombie apocalypse procedure written into their terms and conditions? Should we be concerned? </p><p>Citibanks contract might make you a murderer. </p><p>and some companies are willing to pay you just to read the terms, but you won't know that unless you read the terms. </p><p>It's bananas out there in contract land. </p>
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This Sparks Joy
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Claim $100
<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_14" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?
<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Most Ridiculous
<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_16" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Citibank Is Serious Business
<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_17" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>So look, I'm not going to be a judgy mcjudgerson about you not reading the terms and conditions. This isn't even the first "weird contract stuff" article I've written, I've already dealt with the consequences of not reading these things and Oops now my face is everywhere, and I still don't fully read them! </p><p>Why? </p><p>I'll be completely honest - they're written in a way that discourages it. Studies have shown that in order to even understand most terms and conditions, you'd need a post graduate education ... and that's IF you had the nearly-endless hours it would take to actually read them. </p><p>In short, you know you're not reading them. I know you're not reading them. Companies know you're not reading them... and it's that last part that gets us all in trouble. If they know you're not reading, they know they can put in pretty much anything they want. </p>
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Funeral Home Employees Divulge The Weirdest Requests They've Ever Gotten
February 25 | 2021
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
<p>Think about it. You have a captive audience for the whole day. They're all going to be so intentional about respecting your memory that it would really take something huge to upset them. </p><p>That, my friends, is a time to push the envelope and take some liberties with that ceremony.</p><p>Many Redditors who work in the funeral industry have firsthand experience witnessing recently deceased people exercising that power through wills, parting words, and even pre-death meetings.</p><p>Some people have gotten quite creative. </p><p>hurtfocker asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"Funeral home workers and owners: what's the weirdest request you've gotten regarding a deceased person?"</a></p>
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<p>A good amount of people treat their funerals college parties. </p><p>They go with a theme they imagine everyone will enjoy, try to inject some sarcastic humor into the planning, and see how it all plays out </p>
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Let the Games Begin
<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Dead In a Faraway Galaxy
<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A True Celebration of the Life He Lived
<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Friends Til the Very End
<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>There also appears to be a strange obsession with eye sockets and eyeballs. Many funeral workers have fielded requests involving what exactly to do with eyes. </p><p>All of them are completely unnerving, of course. </p>
Always Watching
<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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For Science
<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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One Last Look
<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>And finally, sometimes it's not all wine and roses when the close of life comes along. </p><p>People live complicated lives full of strained dynamics with family and friends. And often, that comes to a head right at the final moment. </p>
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One Last F-You
<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Utter Indifference
<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?
<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p>However old you are, now is the time to start planning the big sendoff. Look no further for some ideas to start off the brainstorm session. </p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.
<p><br></p>
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<p><span>First, it was an idea, then maybe a sketch in a journal, then some dialogue made it to paper. Eventually, it was written, money was raised from a production studio, and a crew was hired.</span></p><p>And of course, actors were cast to portray the role.</p><p>Often, we leave the film unable to imagine anybody else playing the characters we just witnessed. What once only existed as a script, stuck in the world of words, has become forever connected to flesh and blood people.</p><p>Sometimes, though, those flesh and blood human actors feel so misaligned for the characters they're meant to play that we <em data-redactor-tag="em">can </em>conceive of the film before it was acted and shot.</p><p>And frankly, we can see where they went wrong.</p><p>666Fu**ThEwOrLd666 asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">"What actor/actress was completely 100% wrong for the role?"</a></p>
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<p>Sometimes it comes down to physical or personal essence. Especially when the film adapts source material like a book or well-known story, audiences have a very clear image of characters in their heads. </p><p>Upending those images can be a disappointing shock. </p>
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Leadership Evaluation
<p>"Colin Farrell as Alexander The Great. As one of my old University professors once said, 'I wouldn't follow that guy to the end of my DRIVEWAY.' " -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/gocswo0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thecyberbard</a><br></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"You can't talk about Oliver Stone's Alexander without mentioning that the mad man has 4 different directors cuts of the film" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/godeemj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Preparation_Asleep</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Too Cool
<p>"Joel McHale as Roy in the ill-fated US remake of The IT Crowd."</p><p>"We want a scruffy and misanthropic IT nerd, so let's get an actor known foorrr... charisma and confidence? OK."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/god4o8u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lucklater</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Lean, Yes, All the Others? Not At All
<p>"Why the fu** was Jessie Isenberg cast as Lex Luthor of all fu**ing things"</p><p>"All depictions of him are of a tall, bald, and lean businessman"</p><p>"No disrespect for the actor, I'd take such a high paying job too, but whoever thought of casting him is a clown"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/godr031?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Iperovic</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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What Could Have Been
<p>"Two that come to mind but weren't cast were in Lord of the Rings. Sean Connery was offered the role of Gandalf but turned it down because he couldn't understand the script."</p><p>"Could you imagine how bad of a casting decision that would have been now that we've seen Sir Ian McKellen in the role? Or Nicolas Cage as Aragorn?"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/gocxpk3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">joshuabeebe</a></p>Shrunken Jack
<p>"Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher. Reacher's supposed to be 6+ feet tall, 240+ pounds, basically a brick sh**house of a man. And someone pulling the strings said yeah, that totally sounds like Tom Cruise to me!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/gocofi4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sandrodi</a></p><p>"Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher. If you've read the book he is the exact physical opposite of the character as written." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/gocpkey?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">gardengnome15</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Other casting decisions verge on the problematic. White people are cast to play non-White characters and figures.</p><p>The result feels ethically icky and just plain bewildering. </p>
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How Was That Necessary
<p>"Jon Voight as a snake hunter in Anaconda is fine......but him as a PARAGUAYAN snake hunter?.....just......why lol" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/gocu8mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">birdperson_012</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Because he learned his accent from his maid. Who was probably not even from Paraguay."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Fun movie, but he was ridiculous in it" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/god46pj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shaft6969</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Not the Face I Picture
<p>"John Wayne as Genghis Khan (The Conqueror). That is just wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to start." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/gocn541?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ceallaig</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">" 'Hello TARTAR WOMAN. I AM TIMOGEN...pilgrim' " -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/gocnyjs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Skrivus</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Others not only criticized a casting decision as it happened, but proposed their own alternative. These fans had full confidence in their grasp of the character. </p>
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Just a Tease
<p>"Jafar in the new Aladdin. He wasn't believable or menacing and way too young."</p><p>"Plus for much of his screen time he's standing next to Navid Neghaban, who would have been a MUCH better choice."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/goe8ubw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Larrik</a></p>A Clear Alternative
<p>"Kevin Hart as Roland in the upcoming Borderlands movie. Everyone who knows anything about Borderlands will agree with me."</p><p>"Terry Crews should be playing Roland. He's big, has comedic chops, and can play the no-nonsense straight shooter BADA** when everything else is wild."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/godfze2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Dekklin</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Missed Opportunity
<p>"The actress who played Jene Grey in the new X-Men movies. She couldn't carry the role at all and it really dulled the Dark Phoenix storyline."</p><p>"It's a damn shame because they had Jessica Chastain in the movie and she would have been excellent cast as Grey/Phoenix."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpqamu/what_actoractress_was_completely_100_wrong_for/godlpxk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mkjones</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p>Unfortunately, we'll be dealing with poor casting decisions like this for as long as movies continue to be made. </p><p>The confluence of the big name actors of the day and the films produced in that same moment can tend to stick square pegs into circular holes. </p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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