Anonymous People Who Took A DNA Test Reveal What Their Results Said About Them[rebelmouse-image 18345945 is_animated_gif=
Services like Ancestry.com and 23 and Me have sparked interest in our heritages. Where did we come from? Which of our ancestors were first to arrive and set-up shop? Do we have any surprise, genealogical connections that we may not have known about? For many, taking the first step and submitting that DNA swab is intimidating. Discovering where you came from could alter where you are now. Fortunately, people that followed their family history answered Reddit user, r/sator8's question and shared their tales:
People who have used DNA-Ancestry testing (ancestry, 23andMe) what were your results and was it worth it?
Your Wife Might Not Be Just Your Wife[rebelmouse-image 18345946 is_animated_gif=
I was adopted as a baby, never knew my birth parents. For my wedding, my wife's best friend got us both Ancestry kits. At the time the joke was it would be funny if we found out we were related. We weren't. Flash forward to about a month ago when I got an email in Ancestry from someone saying we may be related. Ancestry classified the connection as very high probability of parent child relationship. So I found my birth father. Trying to figure out how to go forward now.
Edit: Since this has come up a lot. My wife and I were not related. 3.5 years after taking the test my biological father reached out to me and said Ancestry.com says we're related and would I like to find out how we were related. I think he was unsure if we were father/son or grandfather/grandson. After a few additional emails back and forth he provided information that confirmed he was my biological father. We are going to meet for coffee at some point in the near future.
"...like opening Pandora's box."[rebelmouse-image 18345948 is_animated_gif=
I'm adopted and did both ancestry and 23 and me. I found my maternal great aunt on ancestry and my paternal uncle contacted me through 23 and me.
I've spoken to my uncle a couple times and my great aunt a couple times but that's it. I've seen my bio mom and Dad via Facebook and that's enough for me. If you find yourself really uncomfortable and not wanting to go any further, don't let anyone push you into a meeting or relationship you're not ready for or comfortable with.
To me, it's like opening Pandora's box. You have no idea what could happen or who these people really are, so just remember that you have all the power and should be able to control where you and your bio dad go from here. I wish you the best of luck, it's a very very strange situation to find yourself in.
The Family Castle![rebelmouse-image 18345949 is_animated_gif=
Found out that my 16th great grandfather owned a castle in wales that is still there today! He was [beheaded] though
Knowing Your Past Can Change Your Future[rebelmouse-image 18345950 is_animated_gif=
My mom is super into her family tree. She is 99.9% Rusyn (a specific kind of eastern Slavic from the Carpathian Mountains). She was born and raised in North Eastern Pennsylvania and had a feeling that her parents had to be distantly related somehow.
Got both of her parents DNA tests for Christmas this year....and they are indeed distant cousins.
What Was Your Dad Getting Up To?[rebelmouse-image 18345951 is_animated_gif=
Found out that my best friend growing up is actually my half-brother.
My Dad had a lot to explain that day.
When You Are What You Hate[rebelmouse-image 18345952 is_animated_gif=
I just got mine today. I used Ancestry but because I'm Korean all I got was 100% East Asian (wow so insightful! /s). Anyway then I uploaded my raw data to Wegene that pinpointed my DNA better. I was SHOCKED. I expected Chinese, Mongolian and Korean.
- 55.43% Northern Han Chinese (this makes sense because my dad's side is North Korean and my last name can be traced to Chinese ancestry).
- 44.21% Japanese (the most WTF surprise)
- 2.8% Other (stuff they couldn't figure out)
- 0.32% Korean (I don't know if I can classify myself as Korean after that low percentage..... lmao)
So I found out I'm very not Korean and my mum was the most shocked because she absolutely hates the Japanese... and the Japanese dna is most likely from her side lol
Switching At Birth[rebelmouse-image 18345954 is_animated_gif=
The chair of my department at work told me his story recently. He has a brother (we will call him Jeff) and a family friend (we will call him Henry) who was best friends with his brother growing up. Henry's sister did one of those DNA kits. Her results came back saying she had a first cousin in the area, who happened to be Jeff's first cousin. After more investigating they found out that Jeff and Henry were actually switch at birth in the hospital. My department chair's biological brother is actually Henry.
His mother remembers there being some confusion with the babies in the hospital but never thought anything of it again after that. This is probably one of the craziest stories I have ever heard.
Sounds Like A Crazy Doctor's Office[rebelmouse-image 18345955 is_animated_gif=
I have a crazy story. The ancestry results were definitely unexpected in this case.
My friends mom did the ancestry test. She loved the whole thing and got her dad to try it too.
The results showed he wasn't her father. They weren't connected via the site. She performed a paternity test (saying it was part 2 of the ancestry test) and confirmed that he is not biologically her father.
Then she nonchalantly brought up her (late) mom being pregnant and her father said that they had difficulty getting pregnant so her and her brother and sister were all conceived via artificially insemination. This was like the 1950s. Freezing sperm wasn't a thing then and her father claims to have been there. So there's probably only one to two other men in the room - the doctor and maybe an assistant.
Idk what happened in the doctors office 60 years ago (for three children) but secrets were definitely kept.
Having A Good Laugh[rebelmouse-image 18345956 is_animated_gif=
Brother did one. Turns out the family rumor of Irish/Native American descent was in fact incorrect and we are 98.9% Welsh, with the rest being a mixture of French and German.
Old Photos Take On New Meaning[rebelmouse-image 18345957 is_animated_gif=
My dad never knew who his father was; I've spent my adult life helping him search with what little information we had (which all turned out to be total red herrings) and it's basically been my life mission to find this person while my dad is still alive.
I bought him one of those ancestry DNA kits for his birthday last year, which brought up some "connections" that didn't make sense; first, second cousins we couldn't figure out. Luckily one of the people he connected with was really into geneology and had done a lot of groundwork themselves. They went through their photos and found one of a man at his wedding, said "Hey, you look a lot like my uncle"; the resemblance was totally uncanny but we didn't want to get too excited.
So from that, the children of the man in the photo did their own DNA tests to corroborate what we thought we were looking at. Yep - turns out that the man in the photo was my dad's father. He now has a whole new extended family he never knew about (he was an only child) and can finally finish searching for this piece of his life puzzle.
So yes, worth it.
Welcome To The Family[rebelmouse-image 18345958 is_animated_gif=
I signed up for 23andMe, primarily to do research on possible markers for some hereditary health concerns that run in my family line (all is good there). While I was there, I started digging into the ancestry side of the site. That is when my life split open.
Turns out I have a half-sister. My mom gave birth to a baby girl a few years before marrying my dad, and put her up for adoption. I had no idea about this, and I actually kinda doubt that my dad knew either.
You can imagine that this kind of new can really rock a family. With us, it's all been positive. Both of my parents have passed away, which eliminates a lot of the possibilities for awkward or problematic fallout. Basically, it just means that my brother, sister and I have another sister that we just have never met. All good! She has now met my (our) sister, and she is coming out to visit me in a couple months.
For her, it's been quite a ride. She has been searching for family for her whole life, and she finally found us! Of course, she was also very interested in finding out about her father. My mom never once mentioned old boyfriends to me, so I really didn't know how to help her, but now she had a bit more info to go on, and her search continued.
But wait, there's more! So, when she visited our sister, they were digging through old photos, and they came across a dated one of her with a guy, that was more than likey taken right around the date she was conceived. So she manages to track this guy down (she's been searching for decades, and apparently is damn good at it by now). She gives him call, and learns that the photo was taken at a party at one of his friend's house.
Getting Told, "NOPE."[rebelmouse-image 18345959 is_animated_gif=
I grew up being told I was primarily Cherokee Native American among many other things. My aunt and grandmother collected Cherokee artwork and artifacts to honor our heritage. Got my test results back... NOPE! I'm all white...
Doesn't Make Sense[rebelmouse-image 18345960 is_animated_gif=
I have believe my whole life that I was half Native American and half German. My father is Lumbee Native American and he and I both are registered and enrolled in the Lumbee tribe. I took a dna test and the results came back that I was 88% European and 12% Sub-Saharan African. No Native American whatsoever. It kind of feels like my whole life was a lie.
This especially affected my father, because he grew up with this tribe in North Carolina and they've been fighting for federal recognition from the government for years. Just doesn't make sense.
What If You Hailed From Thor?[rebelmouse-image 18345961 is_animated_gif=
I won a test for free in a competition. There had been rumours in the family of Australian indigenous and American indigenous ancestry. Turns out they were incorrect as that didn't show up at all. What did show up was mostly as expected. Around 10% Pacific islands (Maori great-grandfather), 10% European Jewish, and the rest was mostly British isles.
The only unexpected thing was like 10% Scandinavian which we had no clue about. I'm not sure if that might've been random like Viking ancestry or something lol.
Was It Worth It?[rebelmouse-image 18345962 is_animated_gif=
Was it Worth it?
Yes, in a couple of ways.
Finding out I have a significant percentage of Jewish ancestry I knew nothing about got me major points with my Jewish mother in law.
I was also able to take the raw genetic sequencing data to my doctor to find out I have a genetic mutation causing my chronic fatigue. Something called MTHFR (they jokingly called it "the motherf---er" because it makes a mess of your life) that makes it hard for your body to absorb folic acid, which in turn makes it hard for your body to process essential B vitamins. I now take a really inexpensive over the counter supplement called methyl-folate and avoid energy drinks and BAM! Chronic fatigue almost completely gone literally overnight.
Covering All Your Bases[rebelmouse-image 18345963 is_animated_gif=
I did a mtDNA (mother's direct female line) years ago because I had hit a wall. This line is more likely British.
Had my male cousin do my mom's father's side, yDNA (direct male line). I knew they were Jewish, but discovered that this direct male line is from Siberia. About 8% of Ashkenazi Jews are this group. It's been worth it because I'm able to see we are related to other families with same and different surname. One would have expected the surname to be the same.
I sent my Chinese mother-in-law a test. One of her grandmothers was adopted and the family is uncertain of her ethnicity. Hoping the test may provide some information.
I just sent in a sample for a total breakdown of my ethnicity for fun.
I think if you are doing the work of genealogy it's a great tool. It can't provide all answers, but it can verify or disprove some information. As more people do testing, the more precise the information will be. Also, finding cousins is a help as they may have information and documentation.
0% What We Knew Was True[rebelmouse-image 18345964 is_animated_gif=
23 and me
Quite worth it, confirmed some of the family legend and opened a whole shocking new chapter.
"Russian" as written in the passport and by name of both parents, but as it turns out Hungarian (but again, less than 10% while we thought it would be at least 25%) - that is what we knew, Ashkenazi Jewish - that is what we also knew(but less than 10%, and we thought it was about half), and a whole bunch of specific ethnicities and places in Western Europe (about 80%+) - that which we did not know.
Bragging Rights[rebelmouse-image 18345965 is_animated_gif=
We did this for my grandma for her birthday a few years ago, it was really interesting! She knew she was mostly Italian, but we found out that she is actually (genetically) more Italian than most people who currently live in Italy.
She got a kick out of that.
When Parents Come To Blows[rebelmouse-image 18345966 is_animated_gif=
Well I am an orphan. All I knew is that I was Italian.
I am 98% Italian.
Mom side has been in America since 1910s. Help run the American Mafia and fight the prohibition. My family name is found with some of the worst American mafia members.
Dad side corrupted a part of the Italian police force. The corruption is still going on. My family helped put a communism leader in office and when he turned his back on my family, they took him out.
I have no surviving family members in America. I got a couple cousins in prison for murder, robbery, and money laundering. I got a grandfather in Mexico hiding from the American police. He is a wanted suspect for the Manson murders.
Not a fun read. I read so many police records it made my head spin.
Making The Family Bigger[rebelmouse-image 18345967 is_animated_gif=
I was adopted at birth. My birth mother did not know who the birth father was, so my entire life I had no idea what my ethnicity and heritage was for 50% of who I am. I took ancestrydna last Christmas. Through ancestrydna I found out I have a half brother on my paternal side of the family. I reached out to him to learn he has a twin brother and living father, my birth father. I had figured I would go my entire life never knowing who was my birth father, but instead he's due to call me for the first time sometime this week.
I'd totally do it again.
Most Of The Time, There Are Perks[rebelmouse-image 18345968 is_animated_gif=
It was cool as a black person from America to get an idea of what's inside of me. It was surprising because it basically confirmed there's skeletons in our family closet, including one of my relatives not actually having the father they thought they had.
My family did it and discovered my parents share pretty recent ancestors, so there's that fun fact too.
All in all, it helps me answer that annoying question of "what are you". Besides just knowing it's a line of slaves and maybe some Native American.
Although, I still just feel just American. But I can celebrate St. Patrick's day now.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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