Got a secret? Can you keep it? No, we aren't going to do the intro song of Pretty Little Liars. But these people shared their scary little secrets...
Here were some answers.
Deep Family Secrets
My dad was shot and killed when I was young. Over the years, I began to wonder if my maternal grandpa did it to protect our family (my dad was very abusive and threatened our whole extended family when my mom left him). A few years ago, an article was published in my hometown paper suspecting my maternal great-uncle, a former cop, of killing him. It all makes sense. Access to weapons, the ability to cover it up, this uncle has a history of being suspected of other crimes, and the fact that this great-uncle was very helpful to my mom over the years, giving money, visiting a lot when I was younger, etc. Almost like he felt responsible.
My great-uncle is now dead and my mom won't speak about it. I think she knows.
Hate talking to anyone IRL about this, it's so seedy and sad. Only ever told my last long-term partner.
I don't know what I want in any aspect of life and I feel like I don't have a personality. One second I'll feel strongly about something, the next moment I'll feel the exact opposite and I hate it. I'm very influenced by how other people feel and will generally do what I think will make them happy because I literally can't have an opinion on pretty much anything.
Dads And Life
I pretend that my relationship with my father doesn't bother me. He was horrible to me growing up and has only really become involved with me since I had my son (who is now 15 months). He's wonderful with him though. We only ever used to have a short conversation once every few months, he was ashamed of me.
I desperately wish I had actually had a dad growing up. But it's been such an absent thing for so long in my life I'm not sure how I'd deal with it.
Last night my father was tagged in a picture with a girl I went to school with. She posted "the next best thing to my dad." Her dad had passed away many years ago from cancer and he was a great guy. It really made me sad that she, along with other people my age, talk about how wonderful my dad is and how fun and helpful he is to them. I wish I knew what was wrong with me in his eyes.
My baby has a wonderful father though and I take comfort in watching them together.
The Next Level Of Sleep Paralysis
Sometimes when I'm downstairs and everyone else is asleep, I start to feel like I'm being watched by something and it makes me feel trapped in one room because I think if I move into the next room the thing watching me is most likely going to hurt me, what ever it may be.
I also get really bad intrusive thoughts like " oh just burst your eye open, see what it feels like."
When I was in high school, I was at a carnival with two good friends of mine. We were running around and started to get a bit rowdy. When the three of us got tangled up and fell over, one of my friends bit a wart off my hand and blood started gushing everywhere. Everywhere. It didn't hurt me literally at all, but I had to put on an Oscar-worthy performance and pretend it hurt like all hell.
I saw that as far more preferable than looking her in the eyes and telling her that she ate a wart off my hand.
One time, I accidentally dropped the keys to my golf cart in a port-a-potty and had to stick my hand in their to fish them out. It was the afternoon and had been used all day by a huge tournament. I thought of just burning my arm off afterwards.
The Fart Heard Round The World
I evacuated my elementary school with a single fart.
When I was in elementary school, I would fake-sick all the time just to stay home. But eventually my mom decided that the only way I could stay home was if I had a fever because I've "Cried Wolf" to many times.
One morning in 6th grade I had a killer stomach ache, and I tried my hardest to convince my mom to let me stay home by crying my eyes out. She tested me for a fever, and said "no fever, no home-day". So I sat in class, trying my hardest not to cry in front of my classmates. (Side note: I'm notorious for having horrible farts, each one is seriously like a jar of sulfur with rotten eggs inside that was baking in the sun for 6 hours just got opened. I blame my grandma, cause her farts smell just like mine.)
Anyways, I'm sitting in class, about halfway through the day, when I feel a fart coming. I hold it for over a minute but it doesn't go away, and my butt muscles were tired, so I finally decide to release and hope for the best. Luckily it was silent, but A LOT of gas came out. It seriously lasted for like a second and a half. Instantly I felt better, but then I caught a wiff of it and almost gagged. It didn't smell like my normal farts but I could still tell it was mine. The girl next to me smells it next, and noisily stands up and walks backwards, looking everywhere with a disgusted face. My class just kinda looks at her all confused, then my fart hits the kid in front of me in the face and he screams "EEEWWWW!!! WHAT IS THAT SMELL??!?!??!" My teacher stands up from his desk and walks over to the kid, but before he gets to him he smells it, and his face tenses up, and he pauses for a second before saying "Alright everybody, it smells like the school has a gas leak. I need all of you to cover your noses with your shirts and walk out onto the field, just like a fire drill. Okay?" So we all stand up, cover our faces and walk out of the classroom and onto the field. My teacher closes the door behind us and runs down to the administrative office.
So we're out on the grass, sitting where we normally go during a fire drill, when the schools fire alarms go off. I watch all these people, all my friends, coming out of the doors and walk onto the grass. I'm silently watching as teachers take roll, and I sit there as the janitor puts on one of those blue face masks and runs in to make sure no one is in the bathrooms. I hear multiple sirens approaching, and just watch as two fire trucks and one ambulance arrive, and shortly after our D.A.R.E. Officer. I just watch, in pure embarrassment, as a few firefighters in full gear walk into the school, presumably heading for my classroom to run some tests, while some teachers hand out otter pops someone just got from the Walmart down the street.
All the parents were called, and most came down to the school and took their kid home by the time school was supposed to get out. My mom came about an hour after the fire trucks arrived, and checked me out at the table and list they had set up. On the way home my mom said "What an eventful day! I bet your sure glad you went to school today, aren't 'cha?"
I vowed to myself that I would never feel embarrassment like that again, by sharing this story. But given the anonymity, I feel like this can be an exception.
Dog Day Afternoon
Guys I work with and friend are always asking me to hang out after work or on the weekends with them I say I have plans already but just go home to see my dog and have full blown conversations with him,
I talk about my day, life, tv shows, video games, everything. I even ask him questions about his day. I feel like if someone saw me they'd think I'm nuts.
I Will Never Try
My psychologically abusive former husband is upset that I seem to have an ongoing supply of money to counter his legal attacks on me, and to pay for school fees, orthodontics and dance lessons for the children (which he can't afford despite living with his mother, and having been paid out for his share in the house.)
Truth is, I published an e-book. I wrote a rollicking comedy that's 100% based on him and his zany family, and the proceeds are keeping me financially secure enough that he can do nothing to rock my boat!
Sexuality Shouldn't Be A Secret
I'm very religious and my family is too, but I am bisexual. This is the first time I've told someone. My family is homophobic too so I'm too scared to tell them.
What Is The Solution
At age 1 or 2, my left testicle became incredibly swollen and I was taken to the hospital. It was discovered that a small tumor had developed, and the testicle had to be removed completely. Growing up, I never knew anything was different. My parents told me at about age 9 or 10, even then I honestly didn't think much of it. Puberty hit and through high school I had absolutely no issues with girls or being self conscious. Through college things were also great, I felt confident and had no problems with intimacy. Then for some reason when I turned 23, things just changed. My one good testicle could no longer produce what my body needed, so my testosterone tanked. I because anxious, depressed, self conscious, lost muscle, etc. Developed E.D. due to the lack of testosterone. I thought I wanted to die for awhile. Fast forward 1.5 years, I've been on testosterone replacement and life has returned to normal, but with one big difference — I've become overwhelmingly self conscious about my missing testicle. So much so that it's kept me from dating for the past year. I've had long relationships over the years but have somehow always managed to hide it. However, I feel like the older I get, the more likely it is to be noticed. I cannot imagine the panic I would feel if that ever happened. At the end of the day, I feel inadequate and not like a complete man.. Sadly, it seems like surgery may be the only fix if it continues.
True To Your Heart
That after my husband and I planned to get pregnant and got pregnant and am now pretty far along, I realized I don't actually want a baby and I mostly only did it because my husband wanted kids and it seemed like a good time to start. I'm not sure if I don't want children at all or if it's a 'not right now' thing. I've only told my husband and he is understanding. Abortion isn't an option for me but I'm ok with keeping the baby because after looking back and considering how I made the decision, I couldn't have known or realized that I actually felt this way. So I don't blame anyone and I will live with the choice and do what's right by the kid, but I get a little bummed sometimes. Maybe Ill shift perspectives when I give birth but everyone is different so who knows. I'm working through it.
That I'm trans. I got a concussion for telling my family but they don't know how far it goes. I'm going by the male version of my name (hardly a drastic change, Charlotte to Charlie), wearing binders (but putting a stuffed bra over it when I'm with m family or friends), planning to get my hair cut and I wear boys clothes when I'm out of the house. Reddit knows. My therapist knows a little. My best friend guessed it lol.
Secrets Too Deep To Acknowledge
I actually believe that my ex-husband and father to my son will come back to be with me. We've known each other for ten years (never "officially" together) he's lied about being with a someone (live in girlfriend of 6 years), lied about why we had to get a divorce, and left me when I got pregnant. He decided he wanted to be in my sons life after I had him and now we've been in a weird limbo for almost three years. He's lived out of state for seven years and now keeps saying he's moving back very soon. I tell everyone I don't believe him and act like I know not to get together with him but I secretly still love him and am still waiting for him. Sigh.
I don't like myself.
I don't really know how to explain it. I don't have any reason to feel bad, my life's fine: I have loads of friends, good grades and, all around, my life is just fine, normal. It's just that sometimes I feel bad, really bad. I'm 17, all my friends are going out, dating, doing what people our age do. And I'm just sitting at home, playing videogames and watching TV.
My life is summed up in this: a few months ago I went to one of my friend's birthday party. This party was huge, around 60 people (the usual is 20, there were this many people because this was a birthday party for 4 people, who were all friends, who invited all of their own friends). So I was at a table with the only people I knew well at the party: me and 6 of my friends, who were all dating among each other. Being third wheel for three couples is fun as f*ck. What a fun night.
When I was a kid I had a very vivid dream I had a wife and children. I used to wake up and wonder why I'm here instead of there, and why I can never see her again. I would wake up, turn over and be sad I didn't see this woman's face. Which is weird bc I'm gay hah. Kids really do have crazy imaginations.