Divorces are never pretty, but hopefully all parties involved can come out the other end happy and ready for their next life's chapter. However, the reasoning for a divorce can oftentimes illuminate the horror and, sometimes, strangeness of these marriages more than spending an awkward evening with them at a cocktail party. Reddit user, r/KlyonneSpencer, wanted to question lawyers directly about the divorces when they asked:
Divorce lawyers of reddit, what is the most ridiculous reason your client filed divorce for?
This Actually Sound Wonderful
I had a client file for divorce because every morning his wife would ask him how he takes his coffee...for seven years.
Have You Played The Addams Family Machine?
He loved his pinball machine collection more than her.
Also it turns out some pin ball machines can be worth a sh-t load of money.
Literally The Worst
Divorce lawyer here. One client filed for divorce because he owed his bookie $70,000. He didn't want to leave his wife but he figured he would get half the house in the divorce, which was worth $700,000 and pay his debts. He had already blew through their life savings gambling. He was the worst guy.
2 Squares, Max
My boss just got divorced. His wife was telling people one of her reasons was the amount of toilet paper he used. She was a super coupon clipper thrifty lady and would listen when he went to the bathroom to see if he was using "too much tp"
Joey Doesn't Share FOOD!
Not a divorce lawyer, but was told of a client that filed for divorce with his wife because she kept eating his food
Digital Cheating
Lawyer here. One of mine that sticks out is that the husband and wife both played some sort of on-line role-playing game, sort of like the Sims I think but a little more elaborate and adult ('Second Life' maybe?). I don't know anything about online games.
The wife got heavily involved with the game, like 10 hours a day, and wouldn't reduce her time playing no matter what he said. What tipped things over the edge however was that he set up a fake profile/ avatar and went online to stalk her in the game and found her avatar having digital intercourse with some random guy's avatar.
Nothing ever happened in real life but that was enough for the guy to initiate a fairly acrimonious divorce.
...Is He The One Who Knocks?
Client said her husband was dealing meth...
...well technically "cooking" meth
She's Got It Going On
I'm not a lawyer but my brother is one who specialises in family law. He once had a case where the client was divorcing his wife because he was having an affair with his wife's mother.
Edit: People keep asking me if the wife's name is Stacy. I have no idea. This case happened in the UK, a few years ago I think.
Edit 2 Electric Boogaloo: I'm stupid and don't understand humour
Conversations Beyond The Grave
Not a lawyer, but did spend six months costing Legal Aid cases for solicitors in the early 90s. This included many divorces.
The most notable one was a woman divorcing her husband because he discovered he could talk to the dead on their honeymoon and then later spent all their money on spiritualist groups.
That wasn't what made it notable. During the divorce, the woman left the house. At some point her husband approached her and claimed that as he was letting the house fall into ruin, it would be better for both of them if he sold the house and split the proceeds with her. She agreed to this without consulting her solicitor.
A few weeks later the husband gave her £5. She asked what it was for. It was her share of the house. He'd sold it to his sister for £10 and kept living there. When she went to complain to her solicitors, she found they'd done the conveyancing for him. He'd deliberately used his wife's divorce solicitors and nobody at the firm had realised.
Embarrassing Things People Did As Kids That Still Make Them Cringe | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
When The Kids Don't Interest You Anymore
Estates Paralegal here! Saw a divorce where the defendant stopped cooking, and when the petitioner gave the defendant money for food (80's, so was phrased as "housekeeping money"), the defendant would disappear for two weeks and play bingo. The defendant also 'Lost interest in the child"
The bingo comment and stopping cooking comment will forever be ingrained in my head.
Seems Like A Mighty Fine Reason To Stay Married
He kept making terrible Star Wars puns.
"Divorce is strong with this one"
When There's No Shared Interests
I have a client whose wife filed for divorce because my client hasn't successfully quit smoking yet.
SPOILERS!
She refused to allow her son to see a movie because her husband wanted him to go to said movie.
He took their son to see the movie anyway.
Ooh, Psychic Burn
Easy.
She spent $42,000 on psychic hotlines. Notable, she then wouldn't accept any of our offers, and I continuously asked her lawyer to provide counter-offers...
...shouldn't her psychic have told her how the case would turn out?!? Lol.
One Thing Is Clearly Worse Than Another
He didn't help her put up a shower curtain. It may have been a straw that broke the camel's back situation though.
Well, That Certainly Complicates Things
A lawyer I know had a client who filed for divorce because his wife was getting married in a month.
When The Splits Keep Coming
Hopefully soon-to-be-former Divorce attorney, I've seen tons of crazy reasons for people to get divorced. Some of them stupid, some of them make perfect sense.
I had one person get divorced because her husband wouldn't take her out to the movies anymore.
I had one client who looked through her husbands phone and found out he was hiring male escorts while he was on business trips.
One female client got a divorce because she hated sex with her husband. Her last relationship before she got married was pretty intense and I guess her husband just didn't match up.
I've had a few clients who were teachers get divorced because their spouses found out they were having relationships with students. All of the teachers were female.
One divorce involved an elderly couple who had both recently been widowed. They had both been married to their individual spouses for over 40 years. They married each other out of loneliness. About two years into the marriage, they realized they made a huge mistake. They couldn't stand each other. It was weird seeing eighty year olds complaining about the same thing you see kids arguing about.
Dry Heave
I heard of a woman that had her marriage annulled because the groom insisted to bring his mother on their honeymoon. Then, on the honeymoon the bride discovered the reason he wanted to bring his mother was to breastfeed him.
Yes, the groom, a grown man, was still breastfeeding.
Stealing The Love
Not me but my friend who specialises in family law. Wife wanted to divorce husband because he kept taking their dogs for walks while she was at work, making it (unintentionally) so they'd rather cuddle the husband instead of her after a long day.
I Mean, If Everyone's Happy...
I had two couples come to me.
They had been friends for nigh on 15 years.
Husband A decided he liked Wife B more than Wife A. Wife A decided she likes Husband B more than Husband A.
The reverse was also true, and Husband B preferred Wife A, Wife B preferred Husband A.
The couples had near identical assets in terms of value. They came to me all together, and I drafted two sets of paperwork. Two default judgment hearings were set on the same day. The judge signed all the papers the same day.
A week after that, they all went to a JP and remarried. The husbands swapped houses and they all went about their lives exactly as they had the week before, but each slightly happier.
EDIT: no, this was not Rob Lowe or a pitcher in the 1970s. I'm only 34. No, I have never read, seen, or heard of Marmalade Boy before today, but I will look for it to read next weekend. No, I probably don't live or work in your state.
H/T: Reddit
When a friend insists we travel to certain cities because we would "just love it," they're setting the bar pretty high.
And a city can also boast a rich history or an attraction that makes us curious enough to find out what makes it so appealing.
But, alas, when we finally reach the destination, it's never exactly what we thought it would be.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor tshirtguy2000 asked:
"What city is overrated?"
These are not officially real cities but they do have a rotating population.
It's Always A Party There
"Party city."
"As a former slave associate at party city. I 100% agree."
Lotsa Crime
"Cabot Cove, the murder capital of the world."
"Sure, the murders are all solved, but would you really want to live in a city with that much, easily solved, crime?"
– Andvare
Neighbor To Springfield
Shelbyville. Those f'kers steal trees from neighboring cities.
the simpsons episode 25 GIFGiphyThese were once considered destination cities but their popularity eventually took a nose dive.
Not Pair-A-Dice
"Atlantic City. Venture a few blocks off the boardwalk and it's incredibly depressing. Very clearly an area exploited by the big casinos while the locals have been driven to absolute poverty, while they still force a smile to work the shops that are required for the tourist traffic."
– juanzy
Lots Of Water
"Niagara Falls, Canada. I grew up there. Mayor pumps most of tax $ to casinos and tourism with flashy vegas-esque attractions."
Meh Beach
"Myrtle Beach. I'm not even saying that it has a good reputation, I'm just saying that any shred of positive thinking about it makes it overrated."
Where A Creek Is An Exciting Attraction
"Lamb's Grove, Iowa. It's not the paradise on earth that people always say it is. Don't get me wrong, it's got great Chinese food but the motel 6 is meh at best."
– shah357
Impressions for these cities fell far below expectation.
Do-Bye
"Dubai. It's the clickbait of the world. 'We have the biggest/tallest/most expensive YOU WON'T BELIEVE when you see THIS...' It's hot as f*k, everything's a man-made tourist trap; labor exploitation and racism are rampant, and they try so hard to prove to the world how modern and Westernized they are. Really, it's just government propaganda."
Truth be told, many cities can be overrated.
It just depends on a person's experience, or a resident's perspective about what it is about the location they live in that is nothing worth writing home about.
If I had to choose, I would say Las Vegas is overrated, but that's because there is nothing in Sin City that is of personal interest to me.
I may be severely judged for my opinion, but that is a gamble I'm willing to take.
Redditor William84000 asked:
“Women of reddit, what question do you have of men that you'd really like an answer to?"
His question started an informative thread for women to ask men the questions they've been wondering and receive honest, real-life answers.
Ouch...
“How long does it take to recover if you've been hit in the balls?” Snowy-avocado
“Anywhere from 5 minutes to literally turning to dust like we were Thanos snapped.” secondhand_organs
dust whirls GIFGiphy“The Big Dumb Object...”
“I've always wanted to know: why do you like loud machinery so much? For older men it's mowers, leaf blowers and such. For younger men, it's modified cars and motorbikes. What's the deal with the loud machines?” marshmellow_bunnyx
“Power and tools. Tools are a thing that gets stuff done, and they are loud because they contain the natural essence power of violent explosions and fire. Most men like powerful things, instead of powerful people.”
“In sci-fi, this is called 'The Big Dumb Object', and is pretty much a trademark of sci fi books written by men” Connect-Zebra7173
To shave or not to shave?
“Does body hair on a woman bother you that much?" reillydean28
“Leg/arm hair? Don't even notice. Armpit hair? Not my thing but not my choice/decision. Pubic hair? I'd prefer not, but it's not going to stop me from getting the job done." wHUT_fun
It’s a power and control thing...
“Why send a d*ck pic?" stavinlawrence
“I think for most men it's a power dynamic thing. Either it gets them off or it just makes them feel in control."
“Then I assume there's the added bonus of if she likes it she might send a nude back. But these losers have a greater chance of buying a "get bigger penis pills" that actually work before a girl appreciates an unsolicited nude." InertialEclipse
"Do you notice the little things?”
“Do you notice the little things about women like a new hair cut, when they wear makeup or a nice outfit?” xforeverlove22
“I can't speak for everyone but for me, nope. Not at all. My uncle had a moustache for like 20 years and one day decided to shave it off. I didn't notice it. I noticed there was a weird atmosphere around me like ‘come on, say something’, so I small talked with him.”
“A few hours later after he left they asked me if I seriously didn't notice that his moustache was gone. My answer was ‘What moustache?‘ And makeup would definitly fly over my head.” PleaseTakeThisName
Lets just not touch people without permission...
“What things have women done that make you uncomfortable?" charloget
“Had a few grab my junk at random. Even had a couple that just forced a kiss on me. I don't usually experience women trying to pick me up, but the few times I did was never great. It was either negging, overly sexually aggressive and always in a group." bahamabanana
On today's episode of sink of float...
“Do penis' float like a buoy? I heard they do but have never been able to verify it.” TheFantasticV
“I mean it's buoyant but it can't really do much besides lazily sorta half float there. Still amused the f**k out of my wife to learn.” secondhand_organs
GiphyEveryone just wants to be loved...
“What makes you feel loved?” linedizzy
“A compliment, a hug or a kiss we don't have to initiate.” Nuitari8
Plastic surgery?
“Do guys care if women get cosmetic procedures done?” dookieconductor
“I don't necessarily care about the work itself, I'd be more concerned about understanding why she felt like she wanted to get it done and help her feel body positive for whatever work has been done or if she feels like she needs work.” -notjosh-
Math will kill a mood everytime...
“What does it feel like when you're having sex and you're trying not to 'get there'? Is it frustrating? What do you do/think about to keep it from happening?" uhohoreolas
“I sometimes do math like 333*3... But often I am fine with just controlling things to focus mostly on her pleasure instead of mine. Tho sometimes she is excited and ends up moving in unaccounted ways while I am a hair away and there is no stopping it. I definitely don't find it frustrating. It is still very enjoyable." Fkire
Some of these Q&A's were unexpected but now we know! This important thing here though is knowing it's ok to ask questions sometimes.
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