Anonymous IKEA Employees Share The Wildest Meltdowns They've Experienced
IKEA has been the world's largest furniture retailer since at least 2008. The company's name consists of the initials of Ingvar Kamprad (company founder), Elmtaryd (the farm where he grew up), and Agunnaryd (his hometown in Småland, southern Sweden).
IKEA owns and operates about 411 stores in 49 countries. That's a lot of shoppers.
Reddit user shroudedlynx asked "Employees of IKEA, what are some of the worst meltdowns you have seen?"
Here's the inside scoop.
Two words. Black Friday. It was 9:55, we open at 10. We were almost done, all that we had left to do was put out some children's kitchen set. What we didn't realize was that it was 50% off. I only had two pallets left to put out when the store opens and the horde came.
They were crazy. Sprinting, pushing and shoving. They fought to get to these kitchens and when they noticed my pallets, they tore them open and took it. Eventually one woman started screaming and attacked the guy who took the last one off of the pallet, not noticing the the two full pallets. I had to pull her off him and security came. After about 10 minutes the chaos ended, and I cleaned up.
At that point an elderly couple came and asked if there were any kitchens left and I put one in their cart as my coworkers laughed at what had just occurred.
I work at a massive IKEA store in Australia. For a lot of people it's their first time in IKEA, so by the time they get to my section they start to panic because they aren't used to the maze-like layout. There are a lot of breakdowns. Usually small children who want to go home (seriously theres so many parent wondering around with their 5 year olds at 9pm on a school night)
Anyway, the most memorable breakdown I dealt with was when I was working in Home Organisation. This man marched up to me, phone in hand and family in tow.
He wants to buy a certain clothes rack but he can't find it ANYWHERE in this STUPID STORE. Alright mate, I'm happy to help you out. (although I'm not liking the attitude) he shows me a picture on his phone. A screenshot from a website with no context. I haven't seen that clothes rack before. Either it's very new, very old, or not something that we stock.
I ask if he knows the name of it.
"no that's YOUR job."
He's getting even more worked up now. But I can't search with just an image. I check our store's website and I can't find the damn clothes rack anywhere. I ask if he was sure he looked at (store location) 's website specifically (not all IKEA's stock the same stuff. Shocking I know.) immediately I can tell he feels insulted. OF COURSE HE LOOKED AT THE RIGHT WEBSITE. I activate dumb salesgirl mode and ask him to show me.
He pulls up the website, and there is the clothes rack. Quite clearly on Target.com.au. He notices and storms off wordlessly.
I got immense pleasure watching him get lost and do a couple loops through the store before finding the exit.
I used to work in IKEA in my student days, the Glasgow, Scotland store.
When it was newly opened an elderly Irish guy and his wife stopped me and asked where IKEA was, I explained that they were in IKEA and they couldn't understand. They had arrived at the ferry port in Ireland that morning and decided that they'd go on a day trip to somewhere they hadn't been before. When they arrived at the port in Scotland there was a dedicated 'IKEA' bus. They thought IKEA was an actual place in Scotland and didn't realize it was a shop.
I used to work at IKEA. It was 2 women fighting over my service. I was helping one customer and it was a super busy weekend, so I'm sure all the employees were pretty busy. As I was helping her, another woman came up and interrupted us. They started arguing and one of them called the other woman a cow.
We needed a new mattress. My now wife insisted that we pay the $99 for delivery. I was adamant that I could get it home on the roof rack.
I strapped the mattress to the roof of the car, ratchet straps across all four corners. Motherf'er wasn't going anywhere.
We get in the car and opt to take surface streets home instead of taking the highway.
Everything's going great, but there is one stretch where the speed limit is 50mph.
We're driving along and a big truck flies by and immediately after it passes us, I see the mattress fly off the car in the rearview mirror.
"HOLY F'ING SHIT"
I'm backing up on the road and come to the mattress.
I did do a fantastic job strapping it to the roof rack. Problem is that the mattress took the roof rack with it. It's still tied to the mattress.
We hoist it back on the roof and take it slow to a gas station. Re strap the mattress (straps going through the car this time) and get it home.
There's a small cut on the underside of the mattress and some gravel in the protective plastic cover. Otherwise, no real harm done.
My wife still brings it up every time we go to IKEA.
"So... we're paying for delivery, right?"
Tjejer Och Killar
My now-husband and I were driving to Ikea (about 3 hours away), and this was at a point in dating when we were starting to get serious. On the trip, I found out his middle name was Riley, and I mentioned how it could make a very cute girl name. He was completely aghast and was very firm in stating that Riley is a BOY'S name, and had been handed down in his family for over 5 generations. I tried telling him that it was starting to change over to be a girls name now, much like "Ashley" or "Quinn". He thought I was crazy and was adamant that people do not name little girls Riley. We lightheartedly argued the point for a good 15 minutes.
We finally get to IKEA, park, and walk in the front door. Five feet in front of us a little girl of about 2 goes running by and her mother is chasing after her, saying "Riley! Get back here!!" My husband just looked at me defeated and said "...shut up".
(Our firstborn girl was named Riley. We carried on the family tradition, just in a slightly different way!)
Det Finns Ingen Vi
My boyfriend and I overheard while browsing in IKEA a couple having some sort of miscommunication in their "relationship".
I guess they were deciding on things to buy. The girl says "we should get that rug" to which the guy replies to her super loud "there is NO we, you don't live with me!"
Seen a dude in the car park of the Newcastle IKEA cram a load of furniture into his Ford Focus, wife stood next to him SCREAMING at how much of an idiot he is for buying so much, how they aren't going to fit in the car now, and how he is putting all this furniture together alone because it's his "f'ing stupid s*** we don't need"
Husband replies, "no you won't fit in the car now" and drives off.
A guy came in and wanted something that we only had "in the air" so it would require a forklift to get the product down, which we don't do with people in the store for fairly obvious safety reasons. I told him we could get it down right after the store closed for him but that was not an acceptable answer. He proceeded to lose his S#!+ on me demanding I bring out a forklift and take it down now. As this is happening, his wife and two small children walk up. I say, "well sir, just imagine that your children are in the aisle when the forklift comes out and an accident occurs, your children could be crushed by a falling pallet, the arms of the lift, or any other number of possibly fatal incidents." His response, "I don't give a s#!+ about that, I just want you to get my f'ing table." I didn't have to continue the conversation. His wife took care of it.
In soft furnishing/textiles, he was 'playfully' throwing pillows at her to get her attention. She turned around and said (scarily calmly) 'I know that you think you're being funny, but you're not. So if you're going to act like a child I will treat you like a child. Start behaving like an adult or we'll leave now and I'll take away your X-Box for a week.' He pouted and marched off, muttering under his breath.
Köp Din Egen Tårta
In IKEA making the most of my complimentary cups of tea. The couple at the next table over just had a brilliant argument about whether or not they could put a TV in their bathroom. He thinks it will fit, wife/girlfriend thinks it's the stupidest f'ing idea ever, they don't need it, it won't fit and if he wants to do that then he can move back in with his mother. And he keeps asking her to give him half of her Daim cake. After about five minutes of whining she told him if wanted some he should have bought one because apparently he always does this.
I saw a mother let her child go to the bathroom in the display toilet in one of the display washrooms.
I was once shopping at Ikea and noticed a couple with the guy just having the complete look of apathy and distraction while being berated by his wife.
The volume was fairly low until they got to the bedroom department and she specifically said,
'I'm thinking of buying new sheets but I might as well not cause I don't wanna buy sheets just so you can f*** that HR b***** in them. I hope you realize I'm just staying with your cheating ass until the kids are grown up.'
I was so distraught I went for Köttbullar to calm myself.
I'm a cashier!
There was a bratty teenager and her mom about to pay for their over $1000 transaction and the mom suddenly said "You know what? This girl here doesn't deserve any of this. Put it all back." I've never seen a teenager completely lose it until that shift. I feel bad for my co worker who had to do my go backs.
I work in IKEA food. I had one guy claim that he was a "big guy" and wanted me to put extra food on his plate after I made the plate. I explained that I can't as we have to stick to a portion size and that he could add a side plate for 1.99. He then yelled that we are all cheapskates, stormed off to his family, brought all the plates of food that we made for them and told us that he is going to bring his family somewhere good.
Plattor för Sniglar
I was on my third day working at IKEA, still wearing the "I'm new here" badge and this lady asks me where do we keep the plates for slugs (Escargot plates). It was my third day but I already knew we don't carry that and said I don't even think I saw one before in my life. She goes "If I was your boss I'd fire you on the spot!" and stomps away.
What did I do lady?
I was working in the kitchen accessories department and this middle aged guy asked me where the cheap white plates are. So these are the lowest price plates that come in one color and are sold straight off the pallet. But they changed the color from white to light beige a month ago.
I explain this and this guy starts raising his voice at me, telling me he owns a restaurant and that I go back there and bring him more white plates. At this point I know I'm not dealing with a rational person here, but I go to the computer and check if there isn't in fact a pallet of the stuff just so he sees I've tried helping him. Even shown him the big fat zero on the screen. He gets red in the face and starts telling me how I'm personally responsible for the gas he spent driving here on his Audi A8. Asked me if I know how much gas an Audi A8 burns. He's yelling now, the whole floor is looking our way and I'm doing my best to not laugh but I realized I'm already smiling and that pissed him off even more. The convo went something like this:
"You're gonna pay for the gas I spent driving here."
"I doubt that sir."
"LISTEN HERE KID! I'M GONNA DRIVE BACK HOME, LOAD UP ALL THE F***ING WHITE PLATES INTO MY CAR AND DUMP THEM ALL IN FRONT OF YOUR F***ING STORE AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY ME EVERY LAST CENT FOR THE DAMAGES"
"That's a good idea."
I wasn't even trying to be rude I just really wanted this guy to do this, but then he asked for my manager, yelled at him basically repeating everything including his Audi A8 gas mileage, everything. He ended up buying the light beige plates.
I was in the Vancouver IKEA, and they have a children's play area that was packed. There must have been 100 kids in there, some being watched from outside and some completely unattended.
Without warning, the power went out. There were emergency lights but the play area was still quite dark. The kids all started shrieking and crying and running around in the darkness.
The power probably only out for 2 minutes, but the chaos was spectacular. When the lights came back on, it looked like a battleground. Some kids were bruised and bloodied, some had the 1000-yard stare of a war veteran. There were a few who had bonded together in the tunnels and refused to leave. Some were missing entirely - they must have escaped in the shadows into the well-furnished maze that is IKEA.
Overheard two young women trying to agree on a dining table. One of them said, "This table screams, 'I just got out of prison and I need a table.'"
Skräck av Engagemang
This was my Ikea family meltdown. My then boyfriend and I were getting our own place just after college. Until then, we had both been using twin beds thanks to student living spaces and sharing a single twin was proving uncomfortable for two adult humans subjected to California summer temperatures. To fix this issue, off to Ikea we went.
Things start off ok. We start with lunch, admire the living room couches, move into kitchen wares. All so far enjoyable fantasy. And then we reach our destination, bedrooms. A sea of beds in a variety of price points greet us with brightly colored duvets. An experienced furniture purchaser I start scanning the price tags to narrow the options. I bring him to an attractive affordable model I think matches some of our bookcases. And this is where the trouble starts.
See up until now, I didn't realize exactly how bad this man's fear of decision making was. He stares at the bed incomprehensibly for literal minutes, refusing to talk about it. Eventually it is discovered that buying a bed means committing to delaying graduate school, never moving to the east coast, and having children with me. I don't understand that logic and request explanation which is slowly and tearfully given.
We spent three hours in that Ikea and left with nothing. About a month later we went back and again after several hours bought that exact bed. He never went to grad school or moved to the east coast. We also did not have children and broke up a few years later. He took the bed.
People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>
Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>
Being Used<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>
Hiding The Receipts<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>
Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>
How Do You Do This To Someone<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>
Be My Friend And Not Theirs<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>
Victim Time<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>
Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>
Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>
Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional Laws<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>
For the Face Plant Image<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>
A Mammal of Few Words<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>
Baggage<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>
Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>
Not Wrong<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>
Watch the News Before Saying This One<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>
Got a Million of Em<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>
G-Pa With the Physics Humor<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>
A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>
Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedy
to try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?
Wrapped Up<p>Dad had to saran wrap a guy's intestines back into his body once.</p><p>Dude had surgery and pushed too hard on the toilet. Dude was fine, according to Dad, just holding himself together on the toilet while a group of firefighters tried to figure out why the hell they were sent instead of paramedics.</p><p><em>Update</em> When he pushed too hard he opened a scar on his torso/ab area and it all fell out onto his lap. Should have mentioned this when I wrote the post. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko9lq0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">noblemile</a><span></span></p>
Flesh<p>One that stuck with me was a suicide in a bathtub, we couldn't drain the tub, so had to use a coagulant then scoop up the bloody mess into biohazard bags. Same for the toilet. Another was a suicide by gun in a basement full of boxes which was a nightmare to clean as even the smallest bit of flesh had to be found and cleaned up. The smell of the smallest piece of flesh meant the job wasn't done until it was found. </p>
Walk Away<p>Medic here, first responder to a motorcycle collision. Guy who crashed was a friend. He'd been torn in half and almost decapitated.</p><p>Had to walk away from the scene and let my driver and another crew handle it. Think about it daily. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko4y58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sabre-23</a><span></span></p>
All over the House<p>I posted this on another thread so just copy and pasted it but this was one that I had to do</p><p>Clean up after a murder. It was a rehab house for ex cons, 4 bedroom house with communal bathroom and kitchen. Sunday morning and guy A is in his room listening to music pretty loud, guy B is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, B knocks on A's door and tells him to turn it down, there's a small argument and B returns to his breakfast and A turns his music up. So B grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen, kicks in A's door and stabs him through his left shoulder, entering by his collar bone. </p>
"ride-alongs"<p>Not a cleaner, but my brother's best friend is a police officer and I heard all about this horrible experience:</p><p>My brother's friend took him on "ride-alongs," all the time. One day, they were responding to a welfare check. This guy's neighbor saw his apartment door cracked open for several days and called the police. They went to check it out and found a college student (18-19) who had shot himself. </p>
Melt Away<p>When I was a bartender, a couple of clients told me the worst part about the job is cleaning melted bodies.</p><p>I don't know the science behind that, but from what I understand is if a body stays for a while in a certain condition of temperature and humidity, it melts. And those guys have to remove that person's remains in buckets. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknsqfm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaynny</a><span></span></p>
Audrey<p>I had a great uncle who helped clean up the bodies left behind by hurricane Audrey in 1957 and he said that the smell persisted in his nose for weeks after. It got so bad that he went to the doctor to see if they could do anything and they clipped all of his nose hairs and the smell went away. It was explained to him that the smell had soaked into the hair but I don't claim to know the validity of that statement.</p>
Hazard<p>One of my first jobs after moving I did this, and the job that had me walking wasn't even a scene as described. We did all types of hazmat cleans and the worst was actually a couple went on vacation and came back to backed up sceptic. Think about 1 ft thick hard dried out crusty sceptic waste spread throughout the entire 1st floor of a house. Not going further into detail here. Was nasty.</p><p>Septic, not sceptic. On break and mobile, so yeah... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknvzn8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kamenovski</a><span></span></p>
After the Crash...<p>Working for a tow truck driver that get the calls after crashes. The worst one for me was a family of 6 coming back with over 10 pizzas for a baseball team. It was a head on with a tractor trailer (18 wheeler). The ambulance took the bodies away of course, everyone died but one little guy. There was so much blood and vomit, diapers, toy dolls covered in blood, the pizza was everywhere inside of the car like 2" thick on everything and all over the road. </p>
Fresh Meat<p>Friend of mine does this.</p><p>His worst was an elderly woman who died in a bath. Skin falls off like long cooked meat. So he just saw piles of skin/flesh</p><p>God just writing this makes me gag. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknwqwu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlagueDoc22</a><span></span></p>
We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.
What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.