Anonymous Doctors Share The Dumbest Patient Stories They’ve Ever Had To Deal With

Anonymous Doctors Share The Dumbest Patient Stories They’ve Ever Had To Deal With
[rebelmouse-image 18345637 is_animated_gif=We all know those people who, for whatever reason, have strange medical beliefs. Maybe it's a religious belief, cultural belief, a family thing, or maybe it just from "educating" with your "own brain" - but some people just can't seem to grasp that doctors might actually know a thing or two about the body and disease. One reddit user put out the call for doctors to share their worst stories when they asked:
Doctors of Reddit, what was your dumbest patient experience?
The answers have us feeling pretty good about ourselves, honestly. So we put together some of the best (or maybe worst?) to share with you. Some are gross, some are stupid, all had us staring at our computer screens with our faces all scrunched up unsure of what we just read. You ready? Let's go.
Non-GMO Cocaine
[rebelmouse-image 18345639 is_animated_gif=Not a doctor but I'm a nurse who worked in the OR at a trauma center. Was doing surgery on a 19 year old who tested positive for meth and cocaine who was grilling the anesthesiologist about every drug we were going to use in surgery because "he doesn't like putting chemicals in his body"
Gotta stick with that organic, fair trade, Non-GMO cocaine
Nelson
[rebelmouse-image 18345640 is_animated_gif=A patient comes into A&E with abdominal pain.
As part of the work up he gets an abdominal X-ray which shows the problem as clear as day.
The colleague has then proceeded to remove, from the patients rectum, an 8 inch replica of Nelson's Column (the statue in the centre of Trafalgar Square, London)
On showing it to the patient, the response was "Oh that's Nelson, he lives up there."
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
[rebelmouse-image 18345641 is_animated_gif=Had a young woman with recurring UTIs that began after a recent partner and with no STDs; went through the standard questions trying to figure out what could be causing them and eventually found out she had been lubricating with jelly. Not KY jelly. The mix-up had literally been a joke on House. It took me some effort to keep a straight face, but we eventually resolved the problem and she stopped getting UTIs.
That's Not How Pregnancy Works
[rebelmouse-image 18345642 is_animated_gif=Young adult male presents with multiple abscesses on various parts of his body. States he injected his boyfriends semen into himself trying to get pregnant. He tells one of the APCs he should have gone with his original plan and tried on his dog first. Psych clears him. He's admitted to the floor and gets IV antibiotics.
What.
"My Own Brain"
[rebelmouse-image 18345132 is_animated_gif=Med student here...on my pediatrics rotation a mother refused vaccines for her kiddo after "educating herself." When prompted as to what she was using as her source, she replied, "my own brain."
Lovely.
Bacon Cures Everything
[rebelmouse-image 18345643 is_animated_gif=We had a diabetic foot patient a couple weeks ago who thought that wrapping his foot in raw bacon would help get rid of bacteria not too long ago. Not too long ago was also about 4 toes ago....
There's An App For That
[rebelmouse-image 18345645 is_animated_gif=When a woman in an emergency room told me she wasn't going into labor because her app said she want ready yet. I could see the top of her daughters head... But what the f-- do I know keep asking apple for advice.
Birth Control Bracelet?
[rebelmouse-image 18345646 is_animated_gif=Female patient came into the pharmacy complaining that her Nuvaring (contraceptive that you place vaginally once a month) was too small. I was very confused, as these only come in one size. Then, I noticed that it was around her wrist like a bracelet/hair tie. SMH. I counseled her on correct usage and said she made need a pregnancy test.
Iraqi Yogurt
[rebelmouse-image 18345647 is_animated_gif=Not a doctor. But was an army medic in Iraq.
Ran a daily sick call. Iraqi prison guard complained of an abscess on his ass. Tell him to show me. He obliges. And then the smell hit me.
He had been putting yogurt on his abscess because he thought that since yogurt is full of good bacteria it would eat away the infection.
It. Did. Not. Couple that with an open abscess and a lack of a shower in an Iraqi heat, it was the worst smell I ever experienced.
Just Brush Your Teeth
[rebelmouse-image 18345648 is_animated_gif=I worked as a dental assistant and receptionist for a while. We had a new patient come in who rarely brushed her teeth. Why you ask? According to her, she learned that the more you brush your teeth, the more the bacteria develop a resistance, which makes them grow faster.
"Big Farmer"
[rebelmouse-image 18345649 is_animated_gif=Not a doctor, but I assist on a clinical trial and my main job is screening potential participants. I have to ask a list of questions about their medical history and current drug use. And I've heard the wildest sh*t I've ever heard in my life at this job. Some people just want to feel smart.
One of my favorites was when I asked someone if he'd ever had an MRI. His response? "I NEVER enter hospitals because I don't agree with their practices. Did you know homeless people go into hospitals for warmth and because they feel bad for them, the doctors give them cocaine?" He withdrew his interest when I informed him the trial would take place in a hospital. Think he was also the one that called me "Big Farmer." Not pharma. Farmer.
Yesterday I interviewed this guy who, upon being asked if he had any existing medical diagnoses, told me that when he was born he was admitted to a study on "infants of greatly superior cognitive intelligence." When I told him he was ineligible for the study, he scoffed and said "It's not a problem. I was actually worried I'd corrupt your data, since you probably don't have any other participants of my IQ. Wouldn't be fair to apply my results to them." Okay buddy.
Father Knows Best
[rebelmouse-image 18345652 is_animated_gif=When I was about 3, I got sick. After a few days my mom noticed a dark spot developed on my neck so she took me to the emergency room. The nurses looked at it and scheduled some sort of scan for it. They said it looked serious. My mom called my dad with the news, so he rushed to the hospital from work. When he got to me, he picked me up, licked his finger, and wiped some grape jelly off of my neck. That was the spot the doctors were freaking out about.... he wasn't happy.
Milky Way
[rebelmouse-image 18345653 is_animated_gif=Had a patient who we sent to the OR for surgery. NPO (nothing by mouth, no food no water, nothing) for at least 8 hours. The OR calls back to the unit furious because the patient was eating a Milky Way. Turns out, she had hidden a Milky Way under each breast in case she got hungry later. She was having heart surgery.
Home Penis Enlargement
[rebelmouse-image 18345654 is_animated_gif=ER physician told me this one: 16-year-old boy presented to the ER with an extremely swollen discolored penis. Apparently he has been using his mom's insulin needles to draw blood out of his arm and inject it into his own penis. He thought that adding blood would help increase his size. His penis was terribly infected and he was hospitalized for a week or so...
A Nosebleed Couldn't Possibly Be From Hitting Your Nose
[rebelmouse-image 18345655 is_animated_gif=70 yo female tripped and fell 2 days ago. She came it with hip pain but reports after the fall her nose was bleeding - she had landed on her nose. About a year prior her dentist had messes up an infraorbital nerve block and caused some swelling in that region but that all was resolved. This old lady is now convinced her nosebleed after falling on her face is related to an "infection" from the dental issue a year ago. After multiple back-and-forth on the etiology of the nosebleed, she became the first patient I raised my voice and put down an authoritative "no, you are wrong, just stop it".
The Water Allergy
[rebelmouse-image 18345656 is_animated_gif=RN here. I see some crazy stuff, but one thing that stands out was the time I was admitting a guy to the hospital. I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. Anyhow I'm at the computer going over some admission questions with him and his 10 family members who are crowded in the room with him. A few minutes in he starts complaining that he's thirsty. He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. So I get on my phone and call the nurse assistant and as her to bring in some ice water. As soon as the words are out of my mouth the whole family screams "NOOOO! NO WATER! HES ALLERGIC TO WATER!"
Well this is gonna be a problem. Turns out the guy had been drinking nothing but sprite and sweet tea for years because of his "water allergy".
The next question the wife had was "where are we all supposed to sleep?" The whole family, 10 people, were planning to stay at he hospital with him.
You can't make this shit up.
Low Blood Pressure
[rebelmouse-image 18345657 is_animated_gif=So - the patient had low blood pressure - so their self treatment: eating more fatty foods in order to decrease the size of their blood vessels in order to increase the blood pressure within their system...
The Glass Cup
[rebelmouse-image 18345658 is_animated_gif=I work in the ER. We had a very pregnant patient come in needing stitches in her vagina. Turns out she was a realtor and didn't want her water to break while she was showing a house, so she put a glass cup in her pants to catch the water. Instead of using a pad or an adult diaper, she went for a GLASS CUP. She sat down while showing a house and sure enough, it broke and cut her up pretty bad.
Stop; Hammer Time
[rebelmouse-image 18345659 is_animated_gif=I'm ashamed to say I have a story that fits here. I have a ganglion cyst on the inside of my wrist, when it starts getting large I smash my wrist down on a hard table and it goes away. I developed a similar bump on the top of my foot. I couldn't smash it down like my wrist so I tried hitting it with a hammer. Didn't do anything and it was getting bigger and interfering with my shoes so I got it investigated. Not a cyst, but arthritis in the joint. No wonder my hammer trick didn't work. The radiologist did find my treatment method amusing, but advised me to get any more lumps checked out rather than randomly hitting things with a hammer.
Mind Power
[rebelmouse-image 18345660 is_animated_gif=Had a patient who refused all diabetic medications because he believed that he could control his livers production of glucose with his mind. He believed himself to be very fit and active and felt that with his mental control he was a better athlete than most other people because he could ramp up his glucose production when he needed to. He was in the hospital for a diabetic foot ulcer that required amputation.
H/T: Reddit
People Explain How They Realized Something They Do Frequently Wasn't Actually Normal
We've all found ourselves annoyed by the ticks or habits of others.
Some of these are fairly common, such as chewing with your mouth open, cracking your knuckles, or whether or not they pronounce the "T" in often.
Some habits are a bit more unusual, though.
Only the people guilty of possessing these habits might not realize that they're unusual until they are told by someone else that practically no one, or literally no one, else does them.
It's an eye-opening, sometimes humiliating discovery.
"What made you realize that something you always did wasn't normal?"
Undiagnosed Medical Condition
"'You know that high pitch sound everyone always hears? Wait... you don't?'"
"Apparently, I have tinnitus."- FarAmphibian4236
Hard To Imagine It Never Occurred To Them...
"When I was very young I thought it was normal to have blood on the toilet paper after pooping."
"Turns out it was hemorrhoids, apparently I have always had them."
"Yay!"- SuperevenDuper
And, Exhale...
"My mom is a yawn-yeller."
"When she yawns, you can hear it from anywhere in the house."
"One time my sister had a friend over, and we were in the basement'."
"My mom yawned upstairs, and my sister's friend asked 'was that a coyote?'"- ViolaWPeyton
Sweet Or Disturbing?
"When I first started dating my now husband, ever time we kissed he made a 'muah' kiss sound with his voice."
"Like he literally said 'muah' every time we kissed."
"I asked him why and he said he thought everyone did that because his mom did it growing up."- thti87
Unusual, But Pretty Cool...
"As a kid I would read a street sign as we drove past and I would then make as many possible words out of the letters in that sign."
"Stop, top, tops, sop, pot, pots, to, so, post, etc."
"I told my sister one day that I couldn't come up with any more words to make with some sign and she made fun of me the rest of the way home."
'I quit after that. I'm still a pretty mean Boggle player though."- Limited_turkey
Whatever Helps You Sleep...
"Pre Bedtime cereal, I had a sleepover when I was a kid and was confused when we skipped bedtime cereal."- Mre64
There Are Worse Offenses
"I thought eating cereal without milk was normal until I went to summer camp and everyone stared at me like I killed the camp counselor."- spoilerdudegetrekt
It's Only Polite
"For me it was something I never did. In my twenties, I realized you're meant to make eye-contact when talking to people (I was feral)."- wys15wyg
Who Hasn't At Least Once...
"I got stopped by a cop once because I was talking to myself."
'I literally thought everyone just mumbled out their thoughts out loud."- azuresegugio
Unlikely Source of Inspiration
'I'm an artist."
"I got asked one time why I draw hands looking 'like that' with all the fingers bent backwards.'
So I held up my hand in the same position as the one I just drew and it looked the same.'
"And that's how I found out I had EDS."- koinadian
The Bradys Can Certainly Relate
'Grew up in a house where seven people all shared one bathroom."
"Thought it was normal to get in the shower without waiting for the water to warm up."
"Everyone go fast before the water gets cold."
"Always wanted to try and be one of the first in line for the shower."- littleflower0929
Gesundheit!
"I was diagnosed with Arnold Chiari Malformation, which I like to say means my brain is too big."
"My wife says I have a misshapen skull...whatever...the bottom line is that my brain stem is excessively squeezed where it exits the skull through the hole on the bottom."
"I have a very minor case, but it causes randomly occurring neurologic issues."
"Upon learning of this diagnosis, my wife was reading up on the symptoms...many of which I knew were abnormalities."
"I was worried I had ALS because that is neurological."
"After reading a bit, she says, 'Do you have problems sneezing?'"
"I say, 'No, I sneeze all the time'."
"I mean, about every 4th or 5th sneeze, my vision goes white and I get dizzy and lose my balance, but I catch myself before I fall'."
"Sometimes I feel like I'm going to pass out, but I never have'."
"The look on her face was one of pure shock - wide eyes and mouth open'."
"Then I said, 'Now that I say that out loud, that probably isn't normal, is it?'"
"She responded with an emphatic, 'No it's not normal!'"
"It was normal for me because it has been that way for my entire life, so I never thought to mention it.."
"And no one had ever asked me what it felt like when I sneezed."
"And why would they?"
"Everybody sneezes, so everybody knows what it feels like."- TroubledWaterBridge
Heartbreaking
"The first time I was staying at a friends house when I was in middle school I kept waiting for his parents to start fighting."
"His dad came home, food wasn't done yet, I was waiting for that fight."
'The Youngest brother didn't do his chores."
"I kept waiting for the screaming to start, I had braced myself for it, and it never happened."
"That's when I started realizing that parents aren't supposed to fight every night and drag their kids into it."
"Every day I got off the bus and would have to mentally brace myself before walking through the front door."
"Hoping my mom wouldn't find some random reason to shout at me for 3 hours."
"FYI I'm pretty good now."
"Moved out immediately when I was 18 and lived with a different friend."
"It's been 10ish years now."- Wesley_Otsdarva
If the worst thing you might be doing is getting on someone else's nerves, it doesn't really matter whether or not what you're doing is "normal."
But if you're worried something might not be normal about your health, probably best to call your doctor immediately.
Americans Explain How Hollywood Movies About High School Compare To Their Own Experiences
My entire childhood was comprised of watching Hollywood movies about high school.
From High School Musical, I learned that theater is uncool and no jock would be caught dead in a musical. The Breakfast Club made me think Saturday detention wasn't so bad. I learned that teachers can be manipulated from Clueless, and Mean Girls showed me how divided high school kids are based on their cliques.
When I actually started high school, none of those lessons helped me. I knew several jocks who were talented musicians and starred in every musical. I never had Saturday detention, but I heard enough horror stories to know it was awful. Teachers are not fools who bend to a student's will, and cliques are almost a myth. Yes, the cheerleaders hang out with other cheerleaders, but they don't dump food all over the honors kids.
Very few high school movies reflect the actual high school experience. Redditors know this all to well and were ready to share their stories.
It all started when Redditor Many-Guide-8986 asked:
“Americans, how true are ‘American high school movies’ compared to real life high school?”
Unrealistic Understanding
"Different enough to warp the expectations of certain people. Someone upthread said that movies are designed by Hollywood execs to fill story niches and archetypes, which is pretty accurate. We're watching a story that has to be carefully crafted to fill the expectations of all the audience members, and the audience expects Reese Witherspoon as prom queen, Bill Gates as captain of the chess team, Jack Black's the clown, and Brad Pitt's the quarterback...even though that doesn't actually happen."
"There's more truth in Napoleon Dynamite than there is in Bring It On or Mean Girls."
– ScarnAndMacklinFBI
Party In The Parking Lot
"Most high school students don’t arrive to school early enough to tailgate in the parking lot"
– mattpsu79
"most are also not in their mid 20's and driving BMW's and Range Rovers, etc."
– ONESNZER0S
Time To Talk
"A weird thing is how they seemingly show it as if kids just have time to talk and chat in the middle of the day in the hallway by their lockers when in reality you're booking it across the building because you have 5 minutes to go from the first floor, get to your locker on the second floor, and then run all the way across the 3rd floor to your 3rd period class."
"Also dunno about y'all but I got only 25 minutes for lunch in HS, so nobody was milling about during lunch either in the halls."
– 14DusBriver
I Vant To Drink Your Blood
"there are way less vampires in real life high schools."
– NorthImpossible8906
"way less"
"i notice you didn't say none 👀"
– thedustynerve
"yeah with all the werewolfs they dont stand a chance"
– lunamuna239
Bullying Isn't Funny
"Speaking just for my school, not even close. Bullying is never as obvious as it is in movies (nobody dumps their tray on anyone or purposefully trips the new kid, actually most people are pretty friendly), most of the teachers and the principal are well- liked, there aren't well- defined cliques (nerdy group, jocks, cheerleaders, etc.) but there are large friend groups that intertwine and overlap and there is definitely drama. They do get active shooter drills and the amount of drugs/ smoking/ vaping right, though. Also, crazy, entitled parents."
"Edit: We don't go to school at 10 am, the sun is almost never up until after we arrive. And yes, we do get 2-3 hours of homework most days."
– CJgreencheetah
"I remember one time in school, I was walking down the hall with my books in my arms. A random bully ran down the hall and slapped them down, hard, sending all my stuff flying everywhere."
"In a movie, everyone would point and laugh. In movies, that sort of obvious bullying of a nerd would be treated as funny and normal."
"In reality, the other kids gasped, and a few random kids stopped and helped me gather up my things. I remember one girl saying, "That was so mean.""
– rotatingruhnama
On A Mission
"The fact that Superbad spent a whole movie trying to obtain alcohol is totally realistic. We absolutely had whole evening adventures trying to get booze. The Hawaii driver's license was definitely a thing in the mid 1990s. California IDs had holograms earlier and couldn't be faked anymore. Several people at school at fake Hawaii IDs back then. I'm sure one of the writers must be my age from CA."
"I watched this movie with an ex (South American), and he was confused because they all just bought booze from the tiendas when they were like 13."
– ninjaparking
The Most Important Meal Of The Day
"No family eats breakfast together before school/work."
– Sea-Sport7982
"And nobody goes out for a big sit down breakfast before school, either."
"I remember laughing because The OC always showed the characters going out for a nice breakfast in a restaurant before class, as if teenagers get up that early."
– rotatingruhnama
"This always drives me nuts in tv & movies. I don’t know ANYONE whose mom makes a huge spread like that for breakfast every day. Pancakes? Sure - but just pancakes, not also fresh cut fruit and orange juice and toast and etc etc etc. No one sits down to a huge meal like that every morning."
"AND, it’s usually dark out when most people are leaving for school/work. Only in the summer is bright that early."
– karmaandcandy
No One Is Just One Thing
"Friend groups are more porous than they make. For instance, there were football players that also acted in school plays, or wrestlers also in the math club."
"The bullying is less dramatic. Nobody is actually getting locked in a locker."
"We did actually use those red cups at parties that you always see in movies, my non-American friends were always shocked when I told them that."
– The_Nomadic_Nerd
Teenagers Only
"IRL there are far fewer 35 y.o. HS students."
– getbeaverootnabooteh
In Awe Of No One
"No one cares that much about the "popular" group of students, most people just mind their own business if they aren't with their friends."
– daaaa_meemer
A Regular Hangout
"We had 2:30 in between class periods. We did not have time to lean against the lockers and talk. Sometimes it rains, sometimes it snows, sometimes the wind blows; we had to go to school then too."
"In the winter it was very cold, in the summer it was unbearably hot. I bet they've fixed that because the expensive electronics would cook themselves. A school didn't need anything like that when they built the building."
"Usually there was some construction crew outside banging and hammering on something. There was no restaurant that we all hung out in. We did mob a pizza place a few times after the dances."
"They got mad because their employees were too busy, they didn't make enough money off of us and because the old people buying expensive food couldn't get through us. We caused numerous major traffic jams because we kept crossing the street."
"The cops showed up to direct traffic. The pizza place complained. The police went to the school and they told our parents that we had to stop. They let kept the rec center open later for us instead. They actually did put on a really good after party for the middle school dances after that. They just herded us all into there and told us we'd need to go home if we left or we'd get into trouble."
– Jaysnewphone
Just Dance
"I’m gonna take a guess that people don’t settle disputes with dance-offs"
– Cal1094
"well how disappointing"
– siciowaThe9
"When I was back in high school, break dancing was undergoing a small come back before getting swallowed up by Capoeira becoming the hot new thing."
"I witnessed several dance-offs. Only one was about a date. Most were about who was "da'best.""
– zenprime-morpheus
As a horrible dancer, I’m quite relieved we never did this!
I love money.
If I had an endless supply, I might throw it away with abandon.
But I am not blessed with that level of abundance.
Some people really take spending to an extreme.
To a point where maybe others should be in charge of their purse and wallet.
Redditor Shadowclook21 wanted to hear about the times we've seen people waste money on nonsense, so they asked:
"What is the dumbest thing you've seen someone spend their money on?"
I get we all like nice things, but we have to be smart with our coins.
Wake Up!
"An alarm clock coffee machine. It was me."
ineedanusername_
When on FB
"My wife is in a lot of mom groups on Facebook. The amount of people who beg for help for their poor babies who won’t get any Christmas/birthday gifts who also show off brand new giant tattoos is amazing. She shows me every time she finds one of these people and it happens all the time. Usually multiple recent photos of them out drinking and partying as well."
"So yeah, there’s a lot of people out there who blow big money in tattoos and partying instead of setting aside a little bit of money for their kids."
clocks212
Scratched
"Knew a girl who would spend all her money on scratchers and drugs. She would constantly go on about how when she finally won big she was going to move and get clean.... He grandmother gave her a 20 - 30k inheritance. Nothing changed except how many scratchers she would buy. I saw her buy out whole rolls occasionally. She wised up with the last few thousand and put some advance rent on an apartment (was in a motel) and fixed her car. But that money was gone in less than 2 months."
Sub_pup
60 Bucks
"PSA: Accidental subscriptions. Remember, kids, if you sign up for a free trial, be prepared to cancel that s**t the second they allow you. Otherwise, they'll start charging automatically."
xisiko1120
Kaboom
"My neighbors once spent all their money on a private firework show, then had to hide their cars from the repo man for months. No longer neighbors."
redheadedstepchild54
Neighbors are always going to neighbor.
Classics
"I bought a cassette tape two weeks ago. I don't even have a way to play cassettes but I still bought it."
sibipi3040
They're Everywhere
"My Mum has spent $1000s on crystals and stones. She continues to, and gives them as gifts, I have no idea wtf to do with them so I put them in my plants pots then she gets upset for some reason. Send help please."
Necessary_Oil_9779
"Get her a rock tumbler and have her tumble her own and try to identify them. Cheaper in the long run. Makes for a more interesting hobby too, if she gets into it. It will get her out of the house and into nature. Crystals are everywhere, they literally litter the earth. A lot of ordinary-looking rocks turn out quite beautiful once they've been tumbled."
TerrifyinglyAlive
Just a Waste
"I dated a guy who would still use his debit card even when his account was over drafted because he didn’t realize he was charged overdraft fees for every transaction. I had to explain to him his single snickers bar or bag of chips or whatever from the vending machine was now costing him an extra $35. And he did this multiple times every single shift he worked."
beaniequeeny
5 More Minutes
"Gambling machines. I work in a bar room. People will play these machines for 12+ hours and never win. Then they Win $700 the next night and think they’re on top... it’s insane. They look like zombies sitting there in a trance. Once had to unplug the machine on a patron who would not leave for closing. Kept saying '5 more minutes.'"
BrianFrom97
OnlyCrap
"I worked with a guy who'd spend 200-300 bucks a week on OnlyFans. He'd brag about it, I guess he thought of he'd spent enough he might get lucky or something."
TheRealJokar
Why do some people spend with such abandon? It makes no sense to me, but it's not my money.
Have you ever witnessed someone blow a load of cash on something crazy? Let us know in the comments below.
What is wrong with people?
Have we lost all sense of decorum?
I get that people need to speak their minds, but there are some moments where silence is the better option.
When you're naked and intimate with someone, it's best to not be mean.
I would've thought that would be a given.
Unless they're mean or creepy than do what you must.
But when you're alone in bed with a partner, partners, whatever, can't we put our best foot forward?
Redditor bipolar_bear76765 wanted to hear about the worst things we've heard in an intimate situation, they asked:
"What’s the worst thing anyone has ever told you in bed?"
If I have nothing nice to say, I just leave.
Follow my lead.
Over It
"I'm not attracted to you anymore. It wasn't during sex but it was still in bed."
Pennywise626
Hold Me
"I don't think you're sexy but you're really good for a cuddle."
JasonPassley
"I know the first and I love cuddling."
Fun-Agent-7667
"Even though I can see how this could’ve been hurtful, especially if you might’ve wanted to be considered more than 'cuddle material,' were you at least able to cuddle your way into self-soothing? Lol."
"Best vibes and hope you have fared well."
Famous-Somewhere-751
Wrong Number
"I got called a mistake immediately after. I had feelings for her and had had these feelings for her for years."
"I thought we would never actually be anything. She was the high school crush that ended up moving away and lost all contact. Through some crazy weird circumstances we ran into each other years later. We had been flirting like crazy for weeks. She immediately cut all contact. Pain."
throwthisoneoutdude
That was quick...
"That she had sex with a friend of mine like 20 minutes earlier."
"I had sex with someone last year who right after we finished proclaimed that she had a boyfriend. Fast forward a year and indeed, they're engaged and sh*t like that.. HOW THE F**!!"
"I had sex a few times with my housemate’s girlfriend. He was completely ok with it as they had an open relationship. She suggested it to me while the three of us were drinking together. He was fully supportive of it, I even took him aside when she went to the bathroom to make sure he wasn’t just saying it for her. It was a bit odd, but we all knew it was a no strings attached deal and it worked out fine in the long run."
bg-j38
Pardon Me?
"You can use one of my boyfriend's condoms. They're in the drawer, but they're probably too big."
InsomniumGatherum
"A lot of dudes who wear a magnum have no business wearing a magnum."
redrosebeetle
Lord, I need a bleach bath.
Stop!
"Just lost my hair due to heath concerns, was pretty embarrassed about it."
"He looks down and goes, 'Can you stop? You look like a man from this angle.' Oof."
Recoil
“'You make me feel dirty when you touch me.' Happened over 40 years ago and it still crawls under my skin."
wyoflyboy68
Tick-Tock
“'Just hurry and finish.' Two or three minutes in, she said it with a look of pure disgust."
Cultist902
We What?
"We have herpes, now."
420_Traveller
"I could be wrong, but in some places it’s a crime to knowingly infect someone. At least, I do know of civil cases where people were able to sue for damages when someone knowingly had sex with them without disclosing their STD status."
Improvised0
Well people really are the worst at times. Be sure to pick your bedfellows accordingly.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.