Chickens. Are. Terrifying.
If you think "chickens" and think of flighty, cowardly animals, it's clear you've never actually met them.
They're mean. They're bloodthirsty. They've killed people.
Nature made them small and delicious so we'd eat them and give ourselves a fighting chance against these New World Velociraptors.
Reddit user Click-bayt1025 assked:
"What’s an animal everyone thinks is harmless but in reality is very dangerous?"
... we should probably be very afraid.
"Bison, every year someone gets hurt or killed in Yellowstone because they think the bison are slow and dumb and you can take selfies with them."
"Really they are quick and powerful, but have poor eyesight. As you approach a bison it may not see you until you are close, then it can panic and gore you."
"People really treat Yellowstone like a petting zoo. Seen many videos of people being flipped into the air like ragdolls."
"Also the kid who got his chin gored because the family had the windows down"
"I legit cannot fathom seeing an animal as massive as a bison and assuming it’s safe to approach."
"It seems like there’s more stories coming out from Yellowstone about people getting killed or critically injured by Buffalo because they’re getting to close to them."
"The stupidest sh*t I ever saw in my life was the tourist I saw in Yellowstone tiptoeing through a thermal area (where the earth/crust is really thin and barely covers deep pools of boiling hot acidic water) with his camera to get closer to a bison and its calf to take a photo."
"Dude must have had a death wish."
"You see their shells decorating bathrooms all the time. But find a live one and make the mistake handling it and it will lance you with a venomous harpoon."
"For several species, such as the geography cone, this venom is sufficent to swiftly kill a human."
"Definitely snails. Certain fresh water snails carry parasitic worms that in turn carry a deadly disease known as schistosomiasis. When humans come into contact with water where these snails live they can become infected and die of organ failure."
"In sub-Saharan Africa, schistosomiasis is the second leading cause of death after malaria, with more than 200,000"
"There's one species of cone snail nicknamed "cigarette snail" because the time their venom takes to kill you is about as much as it takes to smoke a cigarette."
"This is the answer I was looking for. I'll never forget reading about this as a kid and being surprised they can harpoon people and kill them while they collect shells."
"Donkeys although they look innocent but they have nasty kicks and bites"
"Anybody that thinks donkeys aren't terrifying should see what happens when they get a hold of a coyote."
"They have wild donkeys near Lake Pleasant. I camped there one time and I just heard this mean ass beast in the bushes—we were scared. I got up some courage and went to go look and it was just a really mean donkey."
"And even if you somehow defeat one, you'll have to fight its pissed off dragon wife next"
"Used to work near wild Burros. A lot of those Burros had scars on their backs from when a mountain lions attempted to take them down."
"Attempted, being the key word there. Saw one with a bad eye, one ear, scarred up back, and no fear in its one good eye. Of me or my SUV."
"Donkeys are smart tho, really just don’t get on their territory unless you live their or they allow it."
"We had few and they all had different jobs. Those that moved stuff from the farm to the sorting room knew the way around the farm. We load them up and they go drop it and come back and eat a treat."
"They knew when guests are coming and would guide our herd of sheep to the other side of the farm."
"Kept our sheep protected at night.""
"Just take care of them, feed them, shelter them, and clean them. That’s all they ask for and they are loyal."
"Also let them be them. They like to run around or just lay down and do nothing, they got amazing personalities."
Big Big Birds
"Not everyone but I see a few people get dangerously close to big birds like hawks and eagles. I'm like, people, those birds almost got bigger claws than bears, leave them alone."
"I work with them quite often and yeah, if you don’t know what you are doing and how to properly handle them it can be very very dangerous."
"Also people letting their little tiny rabbit sized dogs walk off leash in areas where I know there are raptors drives me mad. There’s no way you’d be able to save your dog if one decided they looked like a good meal."
"I once rescued an adult redtail hawk with a broken wing. Having to catch her up was very scary - she flopped on her back, talons up, ready to grab me."
"Luckily I was able to cover her head and grab her legs."
"Most people, if they have the sense to be afraid of raptors, fear being bitten. Nah, the beak isn't the primary weapon, those talons are!"
"I went on a falconry experience once, had a golden eagle on my arm which was super tame and chill, and it was still terrifying. When it jumped off my arm to take off the force sent my arm downwards about 45 degrees."
"My uncle is a zoologist and the only animal he was ever attacked by was a meerkat."
"I’m a zoo volunteer, got bitten by a meerkat a few months ago. It just darted up and bit my finger for no reason, little jerk. They are FAST."
"Small animals like that come preprogrammed with the rage of 1,000 demons."
"Meerkats also have the highest environmental risk factor of any potentially escaped animal. They'll breed and dig until theyve reached carrying capacity, destroying root systems and creating deserts wherever they go."
"If you wanna cripple a nation's food supply, just drop in a few horny meerkats."
"The only scar I got from working with animals was from a meerkat, didn’t give her her chicken fast enough 🥲"
"Beware of Beavers!"
"Beavers will stand their ground and confront a threat. If trapped, cornered, or ensnatched, a beaver will attack a human."
"The rodents' sharp teeth may cause serious injury as well as infection. Beavers carry tularemia, parasites, and rabies, which can transfer through bites, body fluids, or infected water."
"Before beavers attack humans or other animals, they send a warning by growling and hissing. On land, the animal rises to its hind legs to face a threat. In the water, a startled beaver slaps its tail against the surface to alert others in the colony before diving to safety."
"I've heard a beaver slap its tail in the water before. You'd think someone just fired a shotgun at you!"
"I had a beaver shadow me for about a half mile while I was wade fishing a small river. Whenever I stopped to fish, it swam within about 15 feet from me and slapped its tail against the water."
"So I would move farther downstream, but it would just repeat the process. It was probably protecting little ones, but finally I got so unnerved I decided that was enough fishing for one day."
"Nickelodeon was right. Those beavers are Angry Beavers."
"When I was in highschool, me and my buddies were walking along the river bank one night and I heard rustling in the tall grass up the bank. Being a very stupid teenager, I pulled the grass to the sides like a cartoon character and put my face right in there."
"I saw two large, shiny, black marbles and a yellow coffee mug. When my eyes adjusted to the light, I made out a toaster oven-sized beaver with MASSIVE yellow teeth."
"We started at each other, frozen in fear for what felt like a lifetime when I slowly closed the opening in the grass and backed out before strolling away. It was a total Scooby Doo moment."
"I didn't tell my friends until we were well away so they didn't go back and disturb it because I didn't how dangerous a beaver could be."
"dragon flies, but not to people. I went off the beaten path hiking around an old slate town and there was a lot of horse/deer flies buzzing around attacking me. I Came across the edge of a huge beaver pond that hasn't really been touched by humans in 100+ years."
"As soon as I get to the marshy beach all the sudden i see these little flashes of black zooming around my head and all of the flies are gone these fuckin dragon flies came in and took them all out in a matter of seconds mid god damn flight."
"Dragonflies are really good predators. They are the perfect flying machines"
"Dragonflies actually have the highest kill ratio of any animal"
"I don't remember the exact stat, but its over 90% of the time they hit their target."
"Dragonflies are vicious, vicious predators. Something like 95% success rate at hunting, they can fly up to 30 mph, and are ridiculously agile, about to fly up, down, left, right, forwards and backwards, and can hover."
"Yeah, they will pick them right off your skin while in mid-bite. When I was working in a forest we used to go to bridge over a water way in the evening to get some relief from the bugs. The relief was an airforce of dragon flies feasting on those bastards."
"As an avid outdoorsman, I regularly plan trips to certain areas based upon predictions and reports about whether dragonflies are out yet that year."
"They are true friends of the outdoors enthusiast."
"But they do, in fact, pack a nasty bite if they so choose to use it. Usually they don't, but I've been bitten by them before and it hurts like f*cking hell. I still love them."
"The real heroes."
"Dolphins. Those things can be little psychopaths."
"Came here for this. The biggest rapists and druggies on the planet"
"Little meat torpedoes that can weigh over half a ton, bite like crocodiles and sometimes find humans sexually attractive."
"YES!! One bit me at Sea World, I thought it was an accident because it was a feeding tank but he turned around and BIT ME AGAIN."
"Tons of other kids were standing there, that bottle nosed bastard targeted me!"
"I don’t blame it though, poor guy living in captivity."
Careful With The Fedora
"Platypus. The males have a big venom spike on their back legs, which is intensely painful."
"This sounds like a joke, but it’s absolutely true."
"Platypus is an animal that makes so little sense the first person to send one back to Europe was labeled a fraud."
"Like other monotremes, it senses prey through electrolocation. It is one of the few species of venomous mammals, as the male platypus has a spur on the hind foot that delivers a venom, capable of causing severe pain to humans. The unusual appearance of this egg-laying, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed mammal baffled European naturalists when they first encountered it, and the first scientists to examine a preserved platypus body (in 1799) judged it a fake, made of several animals sewn together." -Wikipedia"
"They are also surprisingly fast at chasing you on land, and it's looks hilarious until they catch you"
"I also heard they make for a great secret agent…"
"Their venom is so painful infact morphine can't even touch it. You have to pinch off the nerves thus fully numbing the area to find relief from the pain."
"HE’S A SEMI-AQUATIC EGG-LAYING MAMMAL OF ACTION!"
"I saw a segment from a documentary series about stings and bites once. This guy grabbed a platypus by accident because he was trying to grab hold of a log. It spurred his hand and caused him excruciating pain. At the hospital, the doctors had to figure out how to stop the pain because they had given him so much morphine that anymore would have been dangerous, and it had little to no effect on the pain."
"They were able to figure something out, but it took several months for the guy to be able to fully use that hand again."
"The platypus is nature's way of saying "I made this thing out of spare parts I found lying around the workshop and it can still f*cking cripple you."
"But the females can sweat milk"
"Pigs, people thinks they are harmless packs of bacon but in reality they can easily kill you if annoyed"
"There's a reason everyone on the farm in Wizard of Oz freaked out when Dorothy fell into the pigpen in the beginning."
"And they are omnivorous. They will eat you, if they have the chance."
"My grandparents always kept animals and my grandmother grew up on a farm. She was always the most afraid of the pigs and always said as much. Pigs are dangerous and can be quiet a bit larger then people imagine."
"My aunt tripped one day feeding her pig, he was on her in a second. She managed to drag herself partially upright while he tried to get a good grip on her legs and grab the ballpeen hammer hanging on the side of the barn. She ended up having to smash his skull in while he was trying to crush/eat her."
"I can't imagine how terrified she was and I'm so happy she was able to pull herself up enough to grab the hammer"
Are you feeling suddenly uncomfortable in the food chain?
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.