People Debate The Animal They Want To Be Reincarnated As
Let's talk reincarnation.
Calm down, I'm not going to get spiritual on you.
Reddit is going to get AWESOME.
Reddit user Alt_FGualdino asked:
"If you could be reincarnated after your death as any animal(besides human) what would you be?"
So here's what happened—a bunch of people got really excited about animals (as people do) and it kind of devolved into a passionate defense of their favorite animals.
There are few things that get more e-turnt than Redditors arguing about whether orcas, tigers or dragons are coolest.
Such passion, such devotion, so much fur.
Let's get into it.
Orcas - Or Not
"Long life, high intelligence, language, extremely low mortality, social life, free time. Orcas seem to only spend 10% of their life hunting while devoting the rest to play and social interaction."
"The only animal in the world that can mess with Orcas are humans."
"Some Orcas literally kill great white sharks to eat their liver. And maybe one would think a battle between an orca and a great white would be epic but it is not. It is over in seconds."
"But there's a risk of getting caught as a baby by some marine park people, who then force you to live in a small pool, doing shows for humans day in and day out until you're certifiably nuts."
"They're gorgeous but that lifestyle is brutal. You might as well just stay human if you're going to sign up for such brutality."
"What if you're an introvert orca or have social anxiety? It'll be this life again but without pizza :( "
A Lifestyle I Can Get Behind
"I once read about a lizard (I think it was a lizard) that lived in the Galapagos islands."
"It has no predators so it never has to worry about being hunted. This is how it spends its day.:
"In the morning it slowly walks down the beach and swims around eating algae. When it's belly is full it heads back to the beach."
"Unfortunately it is unable to digest algae. To solve this problem it has to lay on its back on the beach in the sun. The sun warms up it's stomach and allows it stomach to digest the algae."
"After doing that for several hours, it goes for another swim to eat some more algae, then lays on the beach again."
"This is a lifestyle I can get behind."
Feathery Beacon of Hate
"Goose, any day."
"Canadian Citizenship, no one f*cks with geese, Honk, Fly, Can live off grass alone, Swim, Could probably relearn how to speak if I keep my intelligence, Honk!"
"My headcanon is that all of the animosity and hatred of the Canadian people is concentrated into its goose population instead of its humans."
"That goose-borne hatred is then unleashed on the world during migration. I would happily take part in such a spectacle."
"I also would like to join in being an beautiful feathery beacon of hate majestically migrating to f*cking wreck everyone and everything in my path."
"Canadian Goose. They really are a menace to society and the absolute worst."
Low Stress Life
"Ok after some thought I'm going with blue whale."
"First, they live a really long time- like 80 years. But during that time you probably have the lowest stress life possible."
"What does a blue whale have to worry about? Nothing. It's not even an effort to eat - you just glide around slurping up krill!"
"And nothing is going to mess with you. Result: time for pure meditation. Blue whales probably all achieve enlightenment by age 20. That means 60 years of blissful nirvana."
"Blue Whale for sure."
"Just spend my life cruising the ocean, eating tons of krill, and singing."
"Lame. I'd get bored with nothing to do for so long. If I'm signing up for another lifetime it's sure AF not so I can just be bored back to death."
"Then when you get too old to swim you'll drown and wash up on the shore to be poked by tourists until you explode. Win win."
The Passage Of Time
"A Galapagos tortoise."
"I'd get to live a really long time on a nice little island sanctuary with warm year round temperatures, and a conservation crew there to make sure that I don't die if I do something stupid."
"It'd be nice just to see the people around me change, get old, die, and a new set of people come in. I would literally be observing the passage of time for humans."
"You sound like a super villain. I'm here for it."
The Cooler Version
"Tiger or zebra so I could be the cooler, stripey, version of lions or horses."
"Tiger cuz, who wants to mess with a big cat other than other big cats?"
No Business Like Crow Business
"I remember the first time going to the Grand Canyon, I saw these crows who would just catch the thermals and glide around all day eating lizards. I'd like to be one of those guys."
"Absolutely intelligent animals, and they can fly and look badass as f***."
"Oh! And they can talk!"
Not As Bouyant
"Nothing f*cks with a hippopotamus! They are cute and badass all at once."
"All day long just hanging out in the pool and wallowing with no predators, I could live like that!"
"I've thought about it as a human. I can't swim unfortunately. I have tried to learn but I'm not as buoyant as a hippo."
A Good Neck Stretch
"I would be an owl."
"Rotating your head that much and not breaking it sounds rad. Living in the night and being able to fly in silence is rad, too."
"Also, those big eyes they have, bro. They're awesome. Lastly, the sounds they make. Majestic."
"Uh, that's way too much puking for me thanks."
"I'd reincarnate as my own cat if I could. He's stupid, but he's absolutely living his best life."
"I mean REALLY not smart. He's so stupid I've seen him pause and get confused about what he's doing while cleaning himself."
"His biggest source of stress is if the wind from my open window blows my door closed and he has to meow at me to get up and open the door so he can claim his throne: My lap."
"Someone's pet dog would be the best answer, assuming you somehow get to keep your mental faculties, and that you’re in a good home."
"You get to stay in the comforts of human society, rather than be at the mercy of nature."
"You’re literally there to be someone’s friend. They take care of you, but you’re still important in taking care of them too."
"Your short lifespan might seem to suck, but it means that more than likely, your friend will be there for you from the beginning to the very end. For us, dogs come and go, and we have to deal with that and move on. For the dog? We can be there for them for the whole ride."
"A pet parrot."
"I get to live as much as a human, give or take few years. I can talk and watch stuff on the television or whatever."
And I get to look fabulous while doing it."
The more I think about it, the less I can come up with a response.
My kneejerk response is to go #TeamWhale—but then I remembered humans have turned the ocean into an incomprehensibly loud trash-filled mess.
And I kept coming across that same issue over and over again with every animal.
Why are we like this, fam?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
- Want To Be Reincarnated As "Animal With Wild Sex Life?" | HuffPost ... ›
- Religions - Buddhism: Animals - BBC ›
- Pets and the afterlife: coping with the death of a beloved animal ... ›
- When Prince Philip wanted to be reincarnated as a pandemic – and ... ›
- 30+ Animals You Would Not Want To Be Reincarnated As ›
- If you could be reincarnated as an animal with human intelligence ... ›
- Pope Francis says all pets go to heaven, but what do other religions ... ›
- If reincarnation existed and you could choose to come back as an ... ›
- Did Prince Philip Say He Wanted To Be Reincarnated as a Deadly ... ›
Reddit user alina_love_ asked: 'What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?'
No matter how long ago we saw it, there are some scenes or images from movies that still send shivers down our spine or keep us awake at night to this very day.
Pennywise appearing in the sewer in It, Janet Leigh surprised in the shower in Psycho, Freddy Kreuger's tongue popping out of the telephone in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Of course, some of the scariest, most disturbing, or most emotionally traumatizing scenes from films might have been featured in films outside of the horror genre.
Even more shockingly, some of these films were primarily marketed towards children!
Redditor alina_love was curious to hear which non-horror films the Reddit community saw as children still send shivers down their spines today, leading them to ask:
"What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?"
It Was Tim Burton, After All...
"'Pee Wee's big adventure'."
"Large Marge scared the crap out of little me."
"I was even scared of the fortune teller."- BlueStarrSilver·
With A Title Like "Temple Of Doom"...
"'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'."
"The scene where the guy gets his heart ripped out traumatized me for years."- Pbhf
That Funeral Scene Though...
"Fear of death, fear of losing a friend, fear of bees, fear of puberty."- heidismilesmacaulay culkin kiss GIFGiphy
Jurassic Park's Got Nothing On This...
"'The Land Before Time'."
"Watching Little Foot’s mother die was awful."- HourglassSass
He'll Always Regret Not Bringing Her To The Museum...
"'Bridge to Terabithia'."- jumpstart-the-end
"Everything goes so well and it falls apart SO FAST and your left absolutely traumatized."- VortexDestroyer99
The Reason People Hold On To Their Appliances For As Long As They Do...
"The Brave Little Toaster'."- Catgurl
"The junkyard scene alone was responsible for so many nightmares."- ManChildMusicianbrave little toaster animation GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
And Let's Not Forget The Coachman's Smile...
"Disney’s version of 'Pinocchio'."
"The scene where kids are turned into donkeys and kept on the island and then resold was f*cking weird."
"You felt bad for that bully kid after he looked sad and nobody understood what he said because he was a donkey."- earnestlikehemingway
Few Things More Sad And Scary Than Deforestation
"'Ferngully: The Last Rainforest'."
"That evil tree scared me so bad."- slutsdotnet
Anything But "Truly Scrumptious"...
"The 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Childcatcher guy!"
"I'm still scared of him!"- Jet_Maypenchild GIFGiphy
Offing Children One By One...In A Children's Movie!
"'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' boat scene."
"Honorable mention of claustrophobia when Augustus gets stuck in the chocolate tube."
At Least We Know He Had A "Sole"...
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
"That poor shoe….."- dalalice5555
At Least The Song Is Catchy...
"Not even Artax, which was awful, but the Rockbiter and his good strong hands."- marxychick1Neverending Story 80S GIFGiphy
Dorothy Gettying Electro Shock Therapy Says it All...
"Return to Oz."- Jeff_Steelflexx
"Horrifying! What about the animated wig heads?"- weensfordayz
The Reigning King Of Childhood Trauma
"Old Yeller."- IceTech59
"I remember watching this on TV during, I think, Wonderful World of Disney (Sunday nights were Disney night on TV)."
"Cried and cried and cried."
"I've never been able to watch it again and I've never shown it to my kids!"- crowwitch
Not All Friendships Are Tenable... A Terrifying Thought
"'The Fox and the Hound'."
"Still makes me incredibly sad, lol."- mental_reincarnationbest friends friendship GIFGiphy
Sometimes, writers and filmmakers simply overestimate what might go over a child's head.
Or, for that matter, they might underestimate their emotional capacity.
Regardless, ask any of Fairuza Balk's fans which is scarier, Return to Oz or The Craft, and their answer will be immediate...
(... and it won't be The Craft...)
Sometimes it's fun to toy with someone.
Especially if it's an enemy or a loved one who simply deserves a good ribbing.
Some cryptic sentences can send anyone into a tailspin.
And oh the fun that can be had.
You have to be as vague as possible and as sincere.
You have to sell the sincerity. That's vital!
And then just watch them implode.
Redditor theary18 wanted to hear about the most creative ways to throw somebody off their game, so they asked:
"What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly f**k with their head?"
I love to come up behind someone and say "I can't believe they would treat you this way. I got you girl!"
Then I scurry away.
It's YOU!For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy
"Just tack on the phrase 'given your history' to any question you ask someone."
"Are you sure you want another drink? Given your history?"
"Do you mind driving? Given your history?"
"I moved to my elementary school in the 5th grade. Mid-year, a boy came up to me and said, 'I really thought you were gonna be somebody.' I'm now 45 and I'm still like, what the f**k was he talking about?"
"Likely something they heard a parent say to someone. Kids love to repeat the dumb stuff you say the next day at school."
"All jokes aside he probably thought you were someone else. I've done the same things countless times and it's happened to me a few."
"I would interpret this as this kid hearing there's gonna be a 'new kid' and then their imagination ran wild as to who this new star is going to be, that it will be like in some kid movie or something, but you turned out to be just another kid student."
I Like You
"I don't get why other people don't like you."
"Another variant is..."
"I don’t care what everyone else is saying. I think you’re great!"
"They’ll take it as a compliment at first but then they’ll think about it and it’ll eat away at them."
"A guy I work with says this time to me every time I help him 'I don’t care what everyone else says about you you’re alright. Literally everyone else. We did a poll.' XD guy says some crazy s**t. When he started he tried to convince us he was a flat earther. He just likes fucking with people."
“'I heard about you.'"
"Whenever I hear this I always respond with 'if it’s all good, it’s all lies.' Usually shows my sense of humor and if it is bad things they heard it usually lightens the mood."
"Years ago I worked at a cafe and function venue which was sold after a few years to a new catering company. The first time I met the new restaurant manager I introduced myself and she exclaimed 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' and I was a bit weirded out. Then not long later I met the new owner and she also said 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' I still wonder twenty years later what they’d both heard about me."
ProblemsDrunk Party Girl GIFGiphy
"Go up to someone at a party and say: 'I just want you to know that personally, I have no problem with you being here.'"
"I once got drunk and effectively said that to a girl at a wedding. 'I don't care what everyone else thinks, I always liked you' or something like that."
Parties are the perfect setting for these shenanigans.
Especially with the drinkers.
But get them at least semi-sober.
I got YouOkaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"If you are chatting with someone and another person walks up look at them and say 'I just want you to know that I was defending you' then turn and walk off. It's a good 2fer."
"'We know, but don't worry, we'll keep it a secret.'"
"A friend in high school (actually still a current friend) said something similar to me and it definitely f**ked with my head. 'You know you're not fooling anyone, right?' He wouldn't elaborate and it took me the rest of the day to figure out he was f**king with me. As a guy with imposter syndrome, especially as a teen, that had me turned for a bit."
"If it’s someone you interact with repeatedly, always introduce yourself as if you’ve never met before."
"I keep doing this to a guy I see very occasionally. He's a friend of my sister-in-law, but I've introduced myself to him at least four times. Right now, I'm trying to picture his face and I totally can't, so if I see him again, I'll introduce myself again. He remembers me though. And I don't have this issue with anyone else, I just can't remember this guy's face for some reason."
"You really need to brush your teeth."
"Somebody jokingly left a message on the 'tip' line that said 'Take a breath mint.'"
"I'm like 90% sure it was just the first thing that came to his head but it f**ked with me for weeks. I was self-conscious when talking to people, being close to them with my mouth open, and I'd constantly be brushing longer/harder taking mouthwash a couple extra times a day, and using mints."
Head IssuesThink About It GIF by IdentityGiphy
"Give all your friends a few dollars to compliment their hat if they’re not wearing one. When 50 people insist you’re wearing a hat, you start to think you’re wearing a hat. It will drive them insane."
Hats off for that last one. That's harmless but devious.
Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Part of the fun of dating and being in a relationship are the unexpected, impulsive moments.
What's funny is how these could be equally arousing moments, too, even if they're moments that we never expected to make us feel that way.
Redditor thann3 asked:
"What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?"
"When he backs into a parking spot, he puts his right hand on the back of my seat when he looks behind him."
"Hnnnngggggghhh. Gets me going and I don't know why."
"Every time someone mentions this, I am reminded of the time I did it and accidentally backhanded this girl in the face."
That Reading Voice
"In high school, this girl had a soothing voice. Every time she read out loud, I had goosebumps and she gave me butterflies."
"I can’t think of anything weird my husband did, but the first night of our honeymoon, we were talking about the wedding and our future, and I started crying because I was so happy (and told him that’s why I was crying)."
"He was smiling and gave me a kiss and then whispered, 'I don’t know why, but you crying just now turned me on.'"
"Lol (laughing out loud), it didn’t turn me on, but it did make me laugh, and I thought it was weird-cute."
"On the first date, he put my seatbelt on. It surprised me because I heard of men opening doors for their dates but not putting their seatbelt on. It just showed a very caring yet masculine side of him."
"The tension of knowing we wanted of each other but agreed to take it slow just made me go feral in my head."
"A year and a half later, he still does it to this day. He even gets 'mad' when I don't let him. I still blush when he does it, especially when other people are in the car with us."
"It wasn't my girlfriend, but over a Skype call maybe a decade ago when I was a teenager, I was on a call with a female friend I had the hots for."
"I casually mentioned that I had a thing for girls in glasses."
"She gasped, told me to wait there, and scurried downstairs. About 20 seconds later, she rushed back up, jumped onto her bed with her jaw resting on her fists, and low and behold, she was wearing glasses."
"We laughed, I didn't know what to say, but that was the cutest and sexiest way of letting me know she liked me."
"I know it sounds weird, but her breath is intoxicating. It’s naturally somewhat sweet, and of course, she thinks I’m crazy."
"Edit: We know it’s not diabetes, ketosis, or any other medical issue. We’ve been together for over 30 years and it’s just good chemistry."
That Deep Stare
"An ex-girlfriend of mine looked at me in a certain way every now and again that just did something to me, like a bit of a stare deep into my soul knowing she wants all of me. Every day I hope someone will recreate and enhance it."
The Perfect Sweater
"When she wears THAT sweater, I'm powerless."
"Can someone link a pic of this type of sweater? Asking for a friend."
The Sleeve Roll Trick
"My boyfriend rolled up his sleeves kind of slowly the other day, and I felt like I couldn’t hear anything for like a solid minute, lollllll (laughing out loud)."
The Corniest Jokes
"This man will make the corniest joke in the whole world, and then his whole face lights up as he giggles at it. Gets me every time."
The Perfect Wine Pour
"We had our honeymoon in Italy and he noticed the waitstaff poured wine really beautifully, so he replicated it. Now I have him pour all my drinks for me."
"For some reason, the way his wrist moves when he pours really gets me going."
Specific Arm Movements
"When he's working on something mechanical and he starts getting serious, he'll flip his cap backward. It's an absent-minded thing and F**K is it sexy. And when he's working overhead, the way his arms flex. Watching him lift things into our attic is an instant turn-on. It's f**king weird, but godD**N does it do it for me."
"Also when I wear something sexy or low cut and he's not expecting it, he'll stutter if he's mid-sentence. We'll be talking from another room for instance, and I'll toss on a revealing shirt and walk in there and he'll lose his train of thought. Or shake his head like he needs to clear it. Your man making you feel sexy is the ultimate sexy move."
Love Language: Physical Touch
"It's the gentle physical touch in public. That little 'Love you' touch as they scurry away to do a thing. Those random touches turn me on so quickly."
Totally Saved It
"He fixed the shower in my truly horrible, low-rent grad school apartment and changed the oil on my car. Not sure why, but that just did things to me."
"If you were to ask my husband, self-deprecating humor would probably be his answer."
"On our first date, he and I went to see this stage production of 'Jekyll and Hyde.' At the bar, they were selling these cute little shots of Bailey's/Kahlua, with each liquor on separate sides of the glass. Me, being incredibly graceful in all things always, completely dumped the Bailey's half onto my blouse."
"His eyes got all big, not sure how to react, and I just sighed, turned to him, and reintroduced myself like, 'Hi, I'm (my name). This kind of thing happens a lot.'"
"He busted up laughing, I ordered a scotch, and we've been together for the past 11 years."
"Exist. My girlfriend could literally just stand there and I could and would get a chill down my spine."
While we were expecting these responses to be, well, weird, most of these were actually pretty cute or heartwarming.
Sometimes when it comes to relationships and intimacy, something can feel weird simply because it's unexpected, but maybe the unexpected moments are among the best parts of the relationship!
Unlike introverts who tend to shy away from engaging in random discussions, those who are comfortable–or too comfortable–in their own skin love to get all chatty.
That doesn't mean they have anything significant to say.
"What’s the weirdest thing someone casually told you as if it were totally normal?"
People whom you don't know tend to overshare as these Redditors experienced.
A High Request
"A story from a friend - in Colorado, someone once asked, 'Could you watch my wolves, I can pay you in weed.'"
"There's a lot to unpack in that question!"
"You don't unpack wolves, you keep them together."
"Husband (30) and I were pushing our shopping cart out of the grocery store when a random man (who honestly looked like dumbledore) looked at my husband and said 'take my hat, you're gonna need it, you'll be bald very soon.' Obviously my husband didn't take it. It was super odd of him to say because my husband had a FULL head of hair."
"Three months later, my husband was diagnosed with a condition that made him lose all of his hair. Weird coincidence."
"A guy once told me how he loved the feeling of wearing casts, so he'd put casts on himself- for days or weeks on end. Even if it meant he couldn't drive and would be stuck at home the entire time. He'd use vacation time just to wear full leg & arm casts."
A homophobic guy I know: 'Being gay is a choice.'"
"I said something like - ok, choose to be gay for a day, an hour, a single minute if you can."
"Guy - That's easy, I'm attracted to men all the time, I just choose to only like girls because I'm not gay."
"Me - Ummm..."
"Once, an older woman came up to me on the street, took hold of my wrists and simply said 'they ripped out my afterbirth', and then carried on walking."
"It's strange to grab strangers. But one day in Walmart, my granny walked ahead of me, and reached to grab me to show me something, without looking and she was pulling on an old lady's arm obliviously, and the old lady's eyes were like O.O."
"My grandma didn't even apologize, she just let go and yelled at me to stay closer."
"I was getting my hair done this last weekend by my daughter at her cosmetology school. One of her fellow students was excited to meet me. She talked nonstop and eventually told me that she has hemorrhoids and that she has her husband push them back in. So much TMI from a stranger!"
You never know about the personal lives of people you see on a regular basis.
"I had a college professor on the first day of class say that she is obsessed with Q-tips and cleaning her ears and that her family has to limit her to 3 a day-"
Here's The Story...
"That they have 6 kids, all with different dads & each dad is in prison."
"I once had a coworker who had seven kids with five different women and he'd constantly complain about how most of his paycheck went to child support. You uh, dug your own grave, pal. I'm really not sympathetic to your plight."
It's the end of the world as we know it.
End Of Civilization
"I know a guy, we don't talk often but due to business we cross paths on occasion. More or less every time we talk he asks if I'm ready for the total societal collapse coming next week, or Tuesday, or at the end of the month.. and so on."
"I just tell him that it's not gonna happen; he usually then asks about my "crystal ball" so I remind him that I've been right every time."
"I went to a ComicCon type event in my city years ago(Walking Dead was a new show, first season for reference) and went to a panel about zombies. They talked about historical zombie lore, the first zombie movies, and the exciting first season of the new show Walking Dead, with some actors on the panel. When they opened it up to the audience for questions one of the first ones was, 'what kind of zombies do you predict we’ll have in a real zombie apocalypse? (Fast vs slow)'…panelists don’t really know how to answer, each gives their personal favorite or worst case scenario. Then we get to, 'What do you think the timeline is for the start of a coming zombie apocalypse?' Panelists are kind of like….? Talk about how things usually play out fiction."
“'No, but exactly WHEN do you think we’ll need to be fully prepared for zombies in real life?' Like, guys, these are actors and media studies academics, first of all they don’t have the level of belief you do and second, the people you should be asking about this stuff are probably biologists."
Whenever I feel threatened by a homeless person who is pressuring me to hand over them cash, I tell them, "I''m allergic to corn."
The random phrase throws them and in the brief moment they assess what they heard I'm afforded more time to distance myself from them.
It always works, especially when they realize I'm all kinds of crazy and not worth targeting.