People Who Survived Animal Encounters Reveal What Happened To Them In The Wild[rebelmouse-image 18345498 is_animated_gif=
Mother nature can be a scary lady, especially with her most ferocious creatures roaming the Earth. We can all imagine a horrific close encounter with a wild beast and how intense it would be. What would you do if you were face to face with a bear or a lion? Would you even know what to do?
People who have survived a dangerous wild animal attack what is your story?
Be careful in the water...[rebelmouse-image 18345499 is_animated_gif=
I was mistakenly bitten by a lamprey eel when I was five. They aren't really that dangerous to humans, but to a tiny five year old in open water they can be extremely dangerous. I freaked out, it freaked out, and I fell and twisted my ankle and ended up past a drop-off in the river and nearly drowned. Still have small, weird scar on my thigh a crippling fear of natural water. My sister was supposed to be watching me and all I remember is her and her friends pointing and laughing while I tried to keep my head above water. My sister is still grounded and she's in her forties.
Watch out for the Moose[rebelmouse-image 18345500 is_animated_gif=
I was following a moose after school one day in Canada. It kept looking back at me but I thought I was far enough back that it wasn't bothering her...
Then she stopped, turned and ran full speed at me.
I froze and my thought was to not run. So I literally leaned ever so slowly forward. That is literally all I could muster in the 0.05 seconds I had to think.
It was enough though and about a meter in front of me she veered to the right and ran into the Bush.
I turned and ran home. My dad laughed at me and said "That's what you get for following too close."
It's also how I got my game handle and reddit name!!
Moose are now my spirit animal.
Tiny but mighty[rebelmouse-image 18345501 is_animated_gif=
Not really a dangerous animal. I have lost count on how many times I have been stung by scorpions. My dads house(the house I grew up in) is infested with scorpions. The worst was when I woke up to a sting and immediately woke up and freaked out. It stung me like 10 times in a matter of seconds and even worse, it was a momma with a ton of babies on it. Imagine ants being all over you except a bunch of baby devil lobsters.
Don't mess with a pigs food[rebelmouse-image 18345502 is_animated_gif=
Almost had my ankles broken by a hungry pig a few years back on a farm. I was warned by my boss not to be even a few minutes late feeding him, and his wife promptly lifted her skirt to the knees to show me this horrible, roped scar that was nearly a foot long. Apparently that was how they learned he was potentially deadly... but they ran a rescue farm for unwanted animals. So.
Birds are vicious[rebelmouse-image 18345503 is_animated_gif=
HENS ARE DEADLY WILD ANIMALS AND THIS IS NOT A JOKE
I grew up on a farm and when I was a kid the neighbors were chasing the hens around a pen and for some reason one of them decided to throw a rock at one of them, and when he did I was the first thing the hen saw so ofc it attacked me. It flew up in the air and dragged it's claws from the top of my head down towards my jawline. I'll be honest it hurt so much that I blacked out and have absolutely no recollection of the pain but I still have the scars on my face.
Who knew Seaworld was so dangerous[rebelmouse-image 18345505 is_animated_gif=
was bit by a whale at seaworld fl. paid to have the whale encounter where you are part of the show. son and i were sitting on the ledge giving commands and WHAM, grabbed my foot and tried to swim off with me. was lucky to have a hold of the ledge, and he grabbed my foot top and bottom but not past the ankle. ripped my foot from his mouth and noped out of the rest of the experience while ever so calmly requesting my son to also remove himself from the pool (at the top of my lungs, with poorly chosen words for his 10 year old ears) was not in any way acknowledged by seaworld, fun fact...they will take pics for you from the audience, some shots seemed to be missing. meh...it happened. when we met up with my wife later and my son told her what happened, she looked me up and down, nodded and said "yup, seems about right", i love that woman's sense of humor.
Bison on the loose![rebelmouse-image 18345506 is_animated_gif=
Returning from breakfast at a lodge in Yellowstone, my son and I came upon a man who was photographing a bison that was walking through the parking lot. We decided to take a closer look ourselves. While my son was beholding the beast, park workers walking on the other side of the lot suggested we give the animal a little more room. I thought that was reasonable. As I turned back to gather my son, I saw that I was too late. He was running directly for me with the bison in pursuit. Not thinking, I started running directly for him. The bison intercepted before I did. It lowered its horn and ripped a hole in his T-shirt and gave him a nasty abrasion on his back. Fortunately my son was short enough and light enough to avoid being hooked and thrown. It was then that I grabbed him and immediately turned right. Chance would have it that someone left a cabin door open. I ran past the beds and into the bathroom, expecting our friend to follow. After hearing nothing for a minute or so, I cracked the bathroom door open only to find Buff still on station. He eventually decided to wander off. We then had the opportunity of meeting most of the smoky-bear-hat-wearing Rangers within a mile of us. My son's sense of humor didn't return for quite some time.
Sneaky snakes[rebelmouse-image 18345507 is_animated_gif=
I think it was three summers ago; I was mowing the lawn with the ride on mower, I was doing my normal laps cutting the grass. We have the original North Carolina intercostal waterway going through my backyard, so there are plenty of marine life gong through it.
I always get leery when getting close to the drop-off where the water is, since we have snakes. At one lap, I see this black thing in the grass that I don't remember seeing the lap before this. When I get closer, it shoots up, and I realize then what it was. A Water Moccasin. It raised its head high, and I froze like a deer in headlights. The problem now is that I'm cruising right at it on the mower! I freaked out and almost jumped off the mower and ran. I jerked the wheel to turn away, and as I was passing him, he darted into the water.
You were asking for it[rebelmouse-image 18345508 is_animated_gif=
Does destroying a giant paperwasp nest(size of beachball) count? Then getting chased off as they SWARM you and your buddy? Getting stung repeatedly. No they didn't chase us tooooooo far in the big scheme of things, but at least 200-300 yards. (Upstate NY)
Geese are never nice[rebelmouse-image 18345510 is_animated_gif=
I once "adopted" a goose while I was at a holiday resort with chalets that backed onto a lake. Friendly enough and always returned to say hello so I decided to let it in the chalet. It went absolutely berserk and wrecked absolutely everything, broke two of my fingers and gave me a lifelong fear of geese.
Those hogs are tough[rebelmouse-image 18345511 is_animated_gif=
I was in Texas visiting family at one of their ranches out in the country. I had brought a couple rifles because I knew I'd be there for a couple weeks, and brought my M16 to let my cousin shoot it and get a feel for full auto.
Well, he and I were riding out into the boonies to go shooting, and almost as soon as we dismounted a couple of bull hogs came charging out of the undergrowth. His horse panicked, and that seemed to only encourage the hogs. They closed extremely fast, and so I just brought up my rifle and put an admittedly terrible burst across their noses. I hit at least one because there was a blood trail, but it was enough to get them to break their charge and let us go try and find his horse
No one was expecting to hear this one[rebelmouse-image 18345512 is_animated_gif=
A couple years ago I was camping in the Tongass national forest in Alaska. So what happend was that I went kyaking in a river, and I was rowing past a spot where salmon were jumping over. Well, I was being dumb and thought I could go past them, but ended up getting hit by a big a** salmon and breaking my nose. It was supposed to be a 3 week long trip, but got cut short a couple days in because of the attack.
Can you imagine being eaten by a wolf?[rebelmouse-image 18345513 is_animated_gif=
Was backpacking with my dad and cousins as a kid probably 12 or so. I was slowing them down and it was starting to get dark, so they said they were gonna run ahead and set up camp. I didn't mind, I was stopping every 20 feet to pick berries. They were everywhere and delicious. Across a nearby river I see some wolves running by. Then I see one cross the river 50 meters or so down stream. I practically s* myself and shimmied up the nearest tree. The wolves found me in the tree and didn't do much. Just kinda hung out there. Eventually my dad and cousins came back for me, and the sounds and flashlights scared the wolves off.
I want to suck your blood[rebelmouse-image 18345514 is_animated_gif=
yeah a bat flew into my hood, I reacted well
I would not want to cross an elephant[rebelmouse-image 18345515 is_animated_gif=
Was on vacation in Kerala, India. Driving to the hotel, saw a bunch of wild elephants at a watering hole near the side of the highway, stopped the car for pics. Stupid move, one ajuvenile elephant f charged us. Thankfully it was f** with us and stopped at the edge of the road. It was starting to get worked up and was right about to charge us again when the driver finally started the car and we got out of there. Next morning newspapers mentioned how a couple guys in a truck got killed by an elephant at the same spot.
A pack of anything is bad news[rebelmouse-image 18345516 is_animated_gif=
We got out of the car and immediately fam friend is like everyone don't move. Turns out, a pack of about 10 coyotes had us surrounded. One (the alpha I assume) walked up to my mom and I and was within a foot or so. We all stood completely still for a few minutes until they left. Not sure what they would have done if we had tried walking inside the house.
That time you almost lost your leg[rebelmouse-image 18345517 is_animated_gif=
When I was a scrawny kid i was attacked by a pack of coyotes while walking around my grandparents property.
I must have walked up on a recent kill of theirs or maybe their den cause coyotes never attack people but these one did.
I got a hold of a big stick and started teeing off on these a* and know for a fact that to took one of their eyes out before they gave up. I don't know if they gave up cause i scared them off or if the battle dragged on enough that we were no longer near what they were defending but they eventually stopped attacking.
Went home and got stitches and shots and still have a couple scars on my legs today.
These little guys can really get around...[rebelmouse-image 18345518 is_animated_gif=
Wild boar, had to climb a tree and it was trying to climb up also, the crazy porker actually trashed a nearby field also.
They say you can never have enough of a good thing, but we all know there's plenty of stuff that you'd like to just go, "Oh, no thank you" about and that would be that.
Unfortunately, that pretty much never actually works.
Try telling the electric company "no thanks" when the way too high bill comes, or just putting up a hand to decline work for the next week or so because you're just kind of over it.
Consequences and repercussions, folks. But you've got to admit some stuff would just be better if it was... less.
Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At WorkExcited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Average work hours"
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
"My nose hair."
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
Lines For FunEpisode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Lines at any amusement park."
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
"You took the words right out my mouth"
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
RestTired Baby GIFGiphy
"The amount of time you need to sleep"
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
"Supreme court appointments."
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
NFLCollege Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
Life is a mystery full of mysteries.
Some we'll finally get, some will stay a conundrum forever.
Sometimes no matter how much we study or agonize over a piece of information, it just doesn't click.
But that's okay, we're all here to commiserate.
RedditorDangerous_Mobile9188 wanted to discuss what aspects of life still leave confusion.
"What do you genuinely not understand?"
Life is full of quandaries that I give up on trying to figure out.
Everywhere?Emoji Corona GIF by BallcomGiphy
"Why people can't use a public restroom without literally pooping all over the freaking toilet."
Around the grooves...
"How a single needle can run through the grooves on a record and produce a fully layered and 'separated' sound. I mean, I get how it works in theory. But like... how TF does it work?"
"I know how it works, and I understand how it works, and I was gleefully trying to convey this knowledge to a friend when I realized that I am not able to explain how it works, which essentially means that I don’t actually get how it works."
"The thought process of a cat trying to jump on a shelf that is clearly filled with stuff and doesn't have space for it to land safely."
"The opposite, actually... how on earth does my cat jump on a shelf filled with stuff and somehow always land elegantly with all four paws between all the stuff without dropping a single thing? It surprises me every time."
"50% of cats have a 6th sense to avoid everything and 50% of cats are clumsy as hell. 100% of cats think they have the skill though."
"How consciousness works."
"I'm shocked no one has replied to this. Because yea. I haven't the slightest clue and i honestly don't think scientists know exactly how either. Such a complex system that turns into our thoughts and feelings, this is one of those things that REALLY made me appreciate the intricacies of our bodies."
10/10So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Every time my grandmother sees me, I seem to grow taller and more attractive."
I love grandmas. They understand everything.
S.O.SRole Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"How people can raise a functioning family at the age of 18 or 19? I can't even hold my own life together."
"Squatter rights! They confuse the hell outta me."
"Right! So you’re telling me, I can get evicted/foreclosed for missing some payments… but you can’t get rid of squatters who declare a house theirs ? I should just become a squatter then haha."
"Squatting is basically the same. It's not that they just get to live there, but the landlord has to use the proper legal mechanism (eviction) to get rid of them. And sometimes, that can take quite some time."
"How crypto mining works... like what exactly are these huge setups doing and why do GPUs matter so much? I've read several articles about it and I still don't get it."
"This is an oversimplification, but they're trying to solve a math problem. If they get the answer, they get rewarded with crypto. But the math problem is very very hard. There's no 'steps' to find the answer, it's just guess and check."
"So you need to make as many guesses as possible to see if one of your guesses is right. And it just so happens that GPUs are very good at making these guesses. So if 1 GPU can make let's say 22,000 guesses every second, then two GPUs can make 44,000 guesses every second. 10 GPUs can make 220,000 guesses every second, and so on."
"The wave-particle duality."
"This is the one man. For me this is the biggest mystery. Look, I don't care how the universe came to be. I mean I do, but this is much crazier to me. HOW DOES REALITY REACT DIFFERENTLY BASED ON OBSERVATION ALONE I sear this haunts me at night. Do i even exist man."
"Long story short, observing something at the quantum level is not as benign as observing, say, a runner on a racetrack. In observing something so small, the mere act of doing so affects the behavior/outcome. Imagine having to knock the aforementioned runner over in order to know where they are on the track. That's more or less how it was explained to me."
MagicRoss Mcelwee Photography GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
"Cameras, I’ve been explained and seen explanations 100 times. It’s still magic to me."
Maybe there are just somethings we're not meant to understand.
We all want to attain it.
Some people dedicate their lives to having it.
But who can say what is and is not attractive?
The older you get, the more serious and realistic you get with the topic.
And grapple with whether it really matters.
RedditorBig-Courage-7297 wanted to know what some people really thought when they looked into a mirror.
"How hot do you think you are? Why?"
Depending on the minute and the era, I fluctuate in my response. Oh, and depending on my sodium intake.
Middle of the way...Mackenzie Ziegler Makeup GIF by Brat TVGiphy
"5, am not ugly nor a beauty."
"'Perfectly balanced, as all things should be' JK... you probably look great."
"I give myself a solid 'alright for an old guy' out of 10."
"Comparing myself to when I was young I feel like a 2. However if I look around at other guys my age, I'm doing pretty great. Simply still having a full head of hair puts me in the top 15%."
"Occupying the latter half of the age bracket here too. And while I’ve never considered myself wildly attractive, one of my wife’s work friends once remarked to her, 'you didn’t tell me your husband was a silver fox!' I keep that one in my back pocket for gloomy days."
"My mom said I'm a 10/10."
"His mom also said I’m a 10/10. Im starting to think she says that about everyone who’s been inside her."
"Don't listen to these jealous haters you be that 10/10 and strut your stuff."
"Learning to love yourself, doesn't mean you don't see your own flaws but know where to improve and where and how you want to grow. Appreciate the goodness within even when it's hard, and work to have your ideal to be reflected on the outside too. Loving and forgiving yourself is the greatest peace you'll know, because everyone else might be gone at the end and you'll be left with you and your memories, make good ones. Spread positivity. 💕"
Changes with time...
"I think most people's scores fluctuate with age. I like to think I was a solid 8/10 in my early 20s. Then my metabolism crashed and I was working a desk job. I got real fat, got lazy, less effort, dropped to a 4/10. Got my s**t back together, lost the weight, started putting in the effort again, back up to an 8 if not higher in my 30s."
"Then I had a traumatic event in my life and I slipped into a dark place for many years. I put on weight again, stopped putting in the effort, general depression stuff, 5/10. Now I'm in my 40s, working on keeping my weight down, putting in some effort, solid 6/10..."
"But no matter what has happened, how low or high I've been... my wife has always considered me a 10. She's the best woman I've ever met and will always be a 10 to me too."
Oof...Freaks And Geeks Photo GIFGiphy
"6 or 7 on a good day? 1 when I try to take a picture of myself."
God I hated picture day. Still do.
FreshBad Hair GIF by TV LandGiphy
"Solid 5. 6 on a good day with a fresh haircut."
"I have days where I think 'God da*n, look at me. I’m God’s gift,' and then other days where I think 'how does every mirror not break?'"
"Actually though. Part of it is I used to be super athletic but due to an injury now can’t, but go**amn, I could look quite literally like a sculpture of a Greek god or hero, but also a balding baby-faced creep. Also occasionally homeless. More often the two latter than the former"
"I think I was a 6 growing up. But now that I've matured into my late 30s I'm a solid 7."
"This is me except as a kid I’d give myself a 3. Long-haired greaseball in my teens but now in my 30s, exercising for the past decade has really helped me out. Solid 7/10."
"Man, I went from 4 to 8 to 5 in the span of 20 years. Metabolism is a *itch."
"I just remind myself that the me that looks bad in in some pictures/at some angles is the same me that looks good in other pictures/other angles, just a different version. There are some angles and types of lighting and mirrors that for whatever reason, will make just about anybody look bad. There is no such thing as someone who looks good when the phone camera opens itself and shows a view of you from under your chin."
Boy Magnetichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy
"I was objectively pretty hot when I was younger. Now I am an older hot, which is weird. Younger guys really dig me but I’m like, you weren’t even born when the Challenger blew up and I was at Uni."
We're all beautiful. Just keep saying that. Maybe it'll stick.
Humans rarely agree on anything anymore.
So it's refreshing when an agreement is reached among peers.
Even if it's usually about simple or dumb stuff.
RedditorBertarioni85wanted all the gents to sit and discuss some of their universal agreements.
"What is something that all men could agree on?"
PerfectRobert Redford Nod GIFGiphy
"The nod really is great and so versatile. It's like a 'What's up man... everything cool' Ya me too. 'Wulp see ya later.' Just perfect."
"If there can be an empty urinal between us, make it so."
"There are men out there that break this rule! I was the only one, and at the far right end of a row of 4 or 5 urinals. Man walks in and pulls up right beside me, unzips, and let’s her flow, all while audibly exhaling in relief.
When you gotta go!
"That we are happy we get the short bathroom line."
To add to this, I still marvel in amazement and am grateful when I walk into a bathroom at a stadium or sporting event and it's just an endless column of empty urinals. Then you see the ladies bathroom line wrapping around two different corners. There's so much room for activities in the men's bathroom."
"Lady Professor in college (2008) said I’d make an incredible husband to my wife someday. Girl at the drive thru line said I had a cool car in September of 2015. Lady gas station attendant complimented my outfit that day and said I had a good vibe (2018). Cashier said I was handsome while ringing me up a couple weeks ago. Point is we never forget when we get complimented out of the blue."
PowerHappy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy
"Click the tongs a couple times to make sure they work first."
"Makes me feel like a crab… a very powerful crab."
Wow. Guys are so easy. Like super easy...
Twicetalking episode 15 GIFGiphy
"Whenever we pick up a drill we have to do the bzzt... bzzt twice. No more, no less."
Sticks and Stones
"I picked it up because it’s like, a really good stick."
"I wonder if that's instinctive. I've read before that human anatomy is almost perfectly engineered for throwing and thrusting spears. Maybe men have evolved to be able to identify really good sticks and even now we're drawn to them as a vestigial trait because instead of relying on claws or teeth, our ancestors needed good spears."
On the X
"Put two men on the phone, and we’ll be done talking in two minutes. Put two men on Xbox live, and oh is it 2:00am? I should probably go to bed… after this game."
"This is so true. A few weeks back a good friend called me at 10 at night because he’s been having a tough time with fighting depression and all that. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, cheered him up a bit and offered to keep the chat going on xbox live. Turned into an hour and half of a good time talking and playing COD."
Gotta have it.
"It's better to have and not need than to need and not have."
"It's so bloody annoying not having the right tool for the job when you need it. I so long for the day when I will have a fully equipped garage with every tool I would ever need, to fix everything that needs fixing."
"My sister's car has cutlery, both steel and disposable. Have sewing kit, a flask, a bento box, and a complete stationery set. But, they don't even have a freaking umbrella and jumper in the car. Like, wtf. And mind you, we live in a tropical country where you should always assume every day is a rainy day."
Nothing!Ellen Page Sony GIF by FlatlinersGiphy
"Sometimes... I really am thinking about nothing. Literally... Flatline, nobody home, crickets in the field."
Ah men. What a quirky part of the species.