Angry People Reveal Why They Went To War With Their Neighbors
Neighbor wars are hilarious in comedy films. Nobody really gets hurt, everything is funny, shirtless Zac Effron shows up and that's always good times. Real life can sometimes be just as hilarious as movies, but does that apply to the neighbor war trops? One Reddit user asked: Redditors who have gone to "war" with a neighbor, what's your story?
Yup, this is every bit as petty as you would think it is. We've got passive-aggressive bird feeders, nun fights, and a mariachi band that just won't stop. It's more than just that, though. Things get dark, of course, cause this is Reddit. Lives are lost, children are neglected, people are awful. Real neighbor wars don't often involve Zac Effron - much less shirtless Zac Effron.
Dancing On The Ceiling
Had a neighbor that lived downstairs. Did all sorts of loud s*** late into the night. Usually music and friends. One day I had enough and after about 10 minutes of very loud music I just started stomping on the floor. He came bursting out of his apartment and pounding on my door. I answered, acting very confused. "You need to stop stomping around! I'm trying to work!"
"I wasn't stomping."
"Yes you were!"
"I was dancing to your s****y music. Turn it down and it'll never happen again."
It never happened again.
The Mariachi Neighbor
The house I grew up at had that issue, new neighbors moved in and they would absolutely blast obnoxious mariachi music with as much bass as they could get out of their speakers, for most of the day.
We would ask them to turn it down, to no effect. I think they used to tell us they would, but then wouldn't. Eventually they got so irritated with us asking that once when I went over there to ask (16 or 17 years old), the "man" of the house threatened me with physical violence for asking.
So we started calling the cops. Unfortunately, they knew we were the ones calling, so everytime the cops showed up at their house for a noise complaint our vehicles would be vandalized: tires slashed, hoods and doors kicked in, etc.
As far as I know, the police were never able to do anything like issue a fine or anything like that. So it had no effect on them whatsoever.
Fighting A Bunch Of Nuns
My parent's neighbor constantly blows his leaves onto my parent's property. My dad tried to confront him a few times and the guy literally ran away every time. Yes, a grown man dropped his leafblower and ran inside and locked the door and pretended not to be home when he saw my dad coming, on multiple occasions. My father is not a scary man.
My dad was finally able to confront him one day -- he was super polite and said the guy could blow the leaves into their woods, but just not onto their clean lawn. The guy responded, "your property doesn't start until 10 feet from the road, so you can't do anything about it. If you want me to stop, sue me." This is technically correct, as the property is off a private road owned by a convent, and per state law the owner of the road also owns the 10 feet of land on either side of the road.
So, my dad called up the Convent and asked if the neighbor is allowed to dump his leaves on their property. Turns out they don't like that, so now instead of being in a neighborly argument with my parents, he's trying to fight a bunch of nuns in court. Not a good look.
Live in a dorm with shared kitchen and toilet. One neighbor refused to buy toilet paper and always stole food. During a summer break only him and me were living at the dorm and he continued the practice so I made some stew and put a lot of laxatives in it. I also left only one roll of toilet paper in the bathroom that was covered in itching power.
He was PISSED, but I laugh whenever he tries to scold me for it
Four Months And Dozens Of Phone Calls
Years ago my upstairs neighbors were wanted felons living in an apartment leased by the ladies brother, they sold drugs out of there, loud music 8am-12am, locked their daughter outside for hours at a time so we would do things with her and give her snacks. You could tell her social and educational development was way behind. After finding their pictures online on the MN 50 most wanted I called the police - they didn't believe me. They called me a child (I was 22) all while the neighbors behavior got worse as more people reported them.
It took them 4 months and dozens of phone calls to finally get the police to arrest fugitives they were supposedly looking for...
Cold War Lawncare
It's more of a Cold War situation. When my boyfriend cuts the grass, even if our neighbor just cut his grass a few days prior, he (our neighbor) will cut his again the next day. He's an old man who can't stand to have his lawn just a smidge taller than ours.
On a week long cruise. First two mornings our neighbors on both sides were ridiculously loud basicaly screaming in Spanish and constantly waking us up. We didn't go to bed until 3-4am so they cut into your sleep. On 3rd night at around 10-11pm we go to our room, blasted the TV (side note-TV's on cruises should be programmed to not go as loud as we made it) and left it like that until 3-4am. You could hear it outside our door, it was very loud like they were. Next morning what do you know the neighbors realized other people can hear them and were quiet the rest of the cruise.
He Got A Fence
When I was in elementary school, our neighbor's four dogs would always poop in our backyard. My mom asked the neighbor many times to pick it up, but he never did.
So every morning before school, my mom would send me and my brother on 'poop patrol'. At first we just put the poop in the neighbor's yard, but our neighbor never got the hint. My mom then had us put the poop on his porch and then he got a fence.
Well it all started one day when they were having their fence put in and one of the workers accidentally snapped one of our tomato plants at the base. So she decided to take it inside and cook all of the green tomatoes into this unbelievably yummy Indian food I can't even begin to pronounce or spell and brought it over as an apology. Then we made fresh cut pasta and gave them some to give the container back because we of course didn't want to keep it. Then they had the audacity to make us some Indian desert thing that tasted like heaven by then our garden had started to produce so we gave them two bags of produce that would have gone to waste and they gave use some eggplant dish. So we brought over a tray of cookies and now it's three years later and we are in a heated war over who can out food the other.
We're fighting a losing battle though because they are vegetarian and we are not so we have to modify most of what we make for them but we have a huge vegetable garden so we have the leg up on that.
Water Bottle Mountain
My neighbor leaves trash in their yard. We have a HOA that is basically as feckless as possible. And this isn't some s*** neighborhood, we're talking 300k in Columbus, Ohio, which is about as upper middle class as you can get in the midwest.
They don't tie up their garbage bags, so some random falls out, and blows into my yard. I took the 6 pieces I could find and duct taped them to their garage, because I wanted them to be aware of the issue.
For all of winter, they threw their plastic water bottles into a pile next to their garage, and it kept getting bigger and bigger until the snow melted and it was way too obvious, so they finally trashed it.
And if all this is too specific, and my neighbor happens to read this, then clean up your trash you Vernon Dursley looking f***.
I lived next door to a coke club for years. They'd start up around 11PM or midnight, and go till dawn.
The cops (Brooklyn) were clearly on the take, as they'd repeatedly tell me during the day that the place had been closed down, and yet they were showing up three or four times a week there to deal with fights. I asked one of them about why they couldn't close the place at 4AM one day after a particularly noisy fight, and they wouldn't even look me in the eye.
We had a huge number of beer bottles because I also used the place as a performance/rehearsal space, so at a certain point I'd start throwing bottles out my window to smash at their back door when they were noisy.
They really hated that, but as I pointed out, what were they going to do, call the cops? So they eventually managed to keep the noise down. It kinda worked out!
Eventually they were gentrified out of existence...
Babies To The Rescue
Back in like 2009-2010 I was at war with my downstairs neighbor. She would hit her ceiling with a broom stick, and I would point my bass speaker down toward the floor. I got pregnant with twins that were high risk, and got a temporary handicapped placard for parking closer. She borrowed one and took my spot.. few months go by of straight war...then I had my twins.
My washing machine had flooded her kitchen, and she came up to scream at me for ruining her dinner. I yelled back something sarcastic like: **"I totally did it on purpose, I mean come on lady!" **
She laughed, I laughed..and she asked to see the babies (they were in their swings in her line of sight) and just like that, it was over. I'll be damned if we didn't stop messing with each other, and that woman was the ONLY person to help me. We became best friends, and still are to this day. We still laugh at our silly war. Thank you Heather!
I ride my bike to the train station in the mornings. I have to ride past a few houses on the sidewalk before I can move onto the street. One day, a neighbor comes at me and accuses me of 'almost' hitting him with my bicycle. Now, I have no idea what he talked about since I've never been anywhere close to him but he insists on it. Fast forward a few weeks he complaints again that everybody keeps riding their bicycle on the sidewalk and he's scared for his life. He says he's terrified that people will hit him because he's deaf in one ear and won't hear them coming.
He doesn't look where he's goes and instead relies on what he can hear from his other ear, but that's outside the story!
I reassured him, saying I would go very slowly and watch out for him.
I almost never see him after that. Fast forward 2 months and suddenly a mediator shows at my door telling me that my neighbor wants to talk, but doesn't want to do it alone. I'm confused. The questions keep adding up. I told the mediator that if he wants to talk he can just knock on the door and we will talk, never had a problem with him before so no idea why he would now. Nothing came from that.
Another 2 months pass without incident. Then one day police officers show up at the door. Neighbor has filed a complaint about not only me, but also my other neighbor, claiming that we are threatening with the way we ride. That neighbor doesn't even know how to ride a bicycle. I explained the story to the police. They advised to be careful around his house, which I already was.
Another month later another mediator shows up and wants to talk with us together. At this point I refuse it. He's had plenty of opportunities and this is literally about things that aren't happening. This was 2 months ago, I wonder when his next complaint will be.
A guy down the street from where I used to live would complain to me about how his neighbours wouldn't move their tractor and dirt load, they'd complain to me about his dogs being loose etc. One day a few years ago the guy complaining about the dirt strolled into their house and shot the elderly couple and their middle aged son dead.
Get Some Anger Management
Currently at war with two young women who live across the street. I'm a pretty live-and-let-live guy, so this took a lot.
I ignored the overgrown lawn and piles of leaves they raked up and left there to moulder. I didn't like the assorted s*** that collected on their front lawn, but that wasn't enough to prod me into action.
I didn't like the front-step parties they'd have every weekend that kept me awake or forced me to close my windows and turn on the AC. But I didn't call the city. Not even then they'd wake me, yelling in the middle of the street at 4 AM.
What finally put me over the edge is one has two kids. The oldest is about three years old. She shouts obscenities at him. Daily. The first time it happened I thought "You shouldn't do that, but kids can drive even the most reasonable person around the bend." Then I realized it was every day.
The poor little guy never says a word. It's like learned helplessness. The I started to listen for it, and realized she was constantly scream at them and berating them inside the house too, though I couldn't hear particulars. Just constant screaming.
You better believe I called Child and Family Services. I don't give a s*** if those horrible people key my car at 4 AM. If you treat a child like that, you don't deserve to have that child.
I am currently raining regulatory hell down on their heads through all the channels I can find... I will not stop until either those kids are taken from her or she gets some goddamned anger management.
Dogs And Fences
Dog kept chewing through old fence, kept coming up with excuses why he wouldn't pay his half to replace the fence. We shouldn't have had to pay any of it since it would have been structurally fine if his dog didn't keep chewing holes in it and escaping into our back yard. We decided to start leaving our side gate open, the dog would chew threw and then go wandering through the neighbourhood. After the third pick up from the pound he decided to buy scrap wood and patch up the holes.
Lived in a dorm with 5 other guys in college and had to move out to the dorm across the quad building. (it was a total of like 40 ft move.) below us were the soccer players. They were a rowdy bunch and often partied until 3-4 am with loud music and drinking, often times we could feel the floor vibrate and we called safety services on them to get them to quiet down. Well when we were moving the decided to egg our door. we called safety services who claimed they "didn't have cameras" up on that particular set of dorms.
So, since they "didn't have cameras", we egged them back. Safety service was called on us. They said they knew we did it because they saw the footage. We reminded them they "didn't have cameras" on that area. If they punished us, they would also have to punish the soccer players.
We then found out how to stop their music by trying to connect to their bluetooth speaker. Victory.
Taking It Out On Us
We had some problems with our former neighbor. He would come over and yell at us over the most random things that were A. never actually wrong, and/or B. not actually our fault. Once he came over on a Sunday morning ringing our doorbell & throwing a tantrum about some vines growing on the back fence. My husband went back there with him to check things out, and sure enough, they were growing up from the neighbor's side. Another time my husband was out in our driveway washing out a couple of flower pots and the dude came out of his house & started screaming at us about spraying dirty water into his yard (we weren't). He also called the fire department on us for smoking a brisket. Just lots of small weird incidents like that.
This was a relatively normal guy in his 40s with a job, wife & 2 kids, and we live in a pretty nice suburban neighborhood. LOL. It wasn't like it was some crazy old crackpot. They sold the house & moved last year (thank goodness), and we found out later they'd divorced & apparently had some pretty big financial issues. I guess maybe it was the stress of what was going on in his life, just taking it out on us.
Birds Don't Pay Taxes
This is so dumb. My neighbor got pissed that I hung up a bird feeder on my property, stating it attracted birds. I said "well that's the point", to which he goes on a tirade about how he pays taxes and the birds don't, and that they were destroying his house blah blah blah. This is all well and good until I just stopped responding to him and he brings up my ex girlfriend by saying "No wonder that lady moved out". It was an amicable breakup so this was not an ok thing to say on many levels.
I resisted the urge to punch him right then and there and calmly got into my car. Drove to the nearest Lowes, and bought a few more bird feeders to hang all around my property. I glared at him the whole time I was installing them. It's been two years, and he hasn't spoken to me since.
I had never had a problem with him before that, and I rarely even converse with my neighbors because I normally keep to myself.
There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
The Easier Way Out<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p>
At LEAST One?!<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p>
WELP<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p>
Internet History<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p>
Awful, Awful<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>
Viewer, Beware....<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p>
Statistically....<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p>
Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p>
Rise Of The Machines<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>
So Can We Fix The Justice System Now<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p>
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
The Catch Was...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>
Get It From The Next Owner<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>
18 Months<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>
Idol Entitlement<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>
Phone Privileges<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>
The Good Ol' US of A<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>
Keep It<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>
Airlines<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>
Crepes<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>
This Sparks Joy<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>
Claim $100<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>
Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>
Most Ridiculous<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>
Citibank Is Serious Business<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>
Dead In a Faraway Galaxy<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>
A True Celebration of the Life He Lived<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>
Friends Til the Very End<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>
Always Watching<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>
For Science<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>
One Last Look<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>
One Last F-You<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>
Utter Indifference<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>
To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>
After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.