Well you know what they say, a penny in the pocket is a... wait, what's the saying? Is there even a saying? Whatever, just go read about these cheap people, OKAY!? We all know you're not here for the intro, anyway.
1. I have a friend whose grandfather would take out all of the grandchildren to Dunkin' Donuts. He would buy a single doughnut and then cut it into six pieces for each of the grandchildren. Then he would take a huge handful of napkins and take them home with him. At home he would cut them in half to use.
This same man also bought cat food when he first came to America because he thought that it was cheap tuna for people and that the cat was a mascot selling the tuna.
2. My wife always talks about her great-grandfather's frugality. He hand built most of their furniture, had a black and white TV in the 90's, and drank Sam's Choice beer. The neighbors had a dispute with him concerning the overhang of his outside shed, it apparently was too close to their property line. So this rickety old man filled his Sam's Choice beer cans with homemade concrete, somehow raised the entire shed by himself, and rolled it on the cans 6 inches away from their property. Entire endeavor cost about $8. This man was slick.
Weird thing is, he had money. Lots of money. He was an engineer for NASA during the Gemini/Apollo missions. I guess doing it right for a cheap as possible was ingrained in him. He died before I met my wife. He would have been fun to talk to.
3. When my grandpa was alive, he griped at my dad for leaving the Num lock on on the keyboard because it was wasting electricity. My dad gave him a nickel and was like "there, that just covered the next two years."
4. My grandpa takes everything from restaurants he can get his hands on. Crackers, mints, ketchup packets, napkins. Not like one. Like a lot.
5. The year before I went to University I had a sudden realization that I would need to start thinking about household essentials in a way I hadn't before. I was paying for everything myself, so I thought it would be a genius idea to start saving up as many free things I could, that way I could have myself covered for those basic costs. Every time I went to a restaurant I would take home fistfuls of ketchup, mustard, straws, napkins, sugar, salt, pepper, and other of those little free giveaways. I must've collected hundreds and I was pretty proud of myself, too, until my mom came in one day and asked me
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I must've collected hundreds and I was pretty proud of myself, too, until my mom came in one day and asked mewhat it all was. "Oh, I'm saving this stuff for university," I said. My mom looked at the sugar packets and was like, "You know you could buy a full bag of sugar for like two dollars, right?" Oh.
Thewriter
6. In Canada we no longer have the penny so when you're total comes to 2.33 it rounds up to 2.35. Or 2.32 would round down to 2.30.
Whenever a friend of mine makes a purchase he waits to see the total, if it's going to round down he pays in cash, but if it's going to round up he pays with card since the machine can actually charge you the correct amount. He saves pennies a day!
7. They offer to go on a lunch run for everyone in the office. The place they go to has these "Punch this card 5 times get a free lunch".
He's basically got to get 5 people lunch and his is free, all he has to do is take a 10 minute walk.
Pretty smart if you ask me.
8. In college I worked as a barista and we threw out a ton of pastries, bagels and sandwiches. The owner was very clear that we could not take anything out of the case and bring it home but there was nothing stopping us from digging through the garbage. So at closing time we would take out the day's trash then divvy up the food to be thrown away put them in small bags gently set them inside the clean trash bag for a second then take it out and go home. Free food loophole.
9. This was in the mid-90s, but I worked with a guy who knew the "throw out routines" of several close-by fast food restaurants: McDonald's, Schlozky's, etc.
Back then, McDonald's would just make a ton of everything, put them under a heat lamp, and they would just get picked up as people ordered them.
Items had a fairly short shelf life, so they would get tossed. He said most of the time they would all go in the same trash bag, everything in their individual wrappers.
He somehow knew which bags were which and would bring home a big bag of Big Macs, Quarter Pounders, and whatnot.
I took his advice and went to Schlozky's right after closing. I opened their dumpster and, sure enough, there was a big garbage bag FULL of their fresh-made bread and nothing else. I took that bag home, froze most of it, and ate for a year on Schlozky's bread.
That was my only time dumpster diving, but the guy was definitely onto something (that didn't include weight management).
10. My dad refuses to buy drinking glasses. Instead, he will
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buy the cheapest spaghetti and alfredo sauces that come in glass jars (ragu, I'm looking at you), use the sauce, and save the jar. He cleans the jars, removes the label, and voila new drinking glasses.
11. It was me. When McDonald's used to give those stickers out with their coffee, after you filled one up with four stickers you could get a free coffee. I worked the recycle truck and would stockpile every cup I'd find working a suburb. Free mocha frappes for months on end.
12. Whole Foods take 10c off your bill for every bag you bring with you. If you bring two bags, they'll give you 20c although everything you bought could easily fit in one bag. The easiest way to get your bill from $168.40 to $168.20.
13. My friend's dad would make the family collect the water you run in the shower before it heats up. He would then use that water to water his yard.
14. In high school, I worked at a pizza place that would clean the refrigerator on Thursday nights for a supply shipment Friday mornings. Anything in the refrigerator that was fresh (onions, tomatoes, etc.) or not frozen anymore (meats, certain sauces, dough, etc.) were to be scrapped. One of the managers that closed on Thursday nights would instead of throwing out all this food, have us make whatever we wanted to take home. After 2 weeks of working the closing Thursday shift, the manager requested I help out permanently on Thursdays. We would clean the restaurant and then make whatever we wanted then do the dishes. I would generally take home 10 pizzas or so to my mom and sisters (I grew up pretty poor so pizza was a treat) and have dozens of hot wings.
15. A guy that lived in the room next to me only ate rice to save money. He got scurvy.
16. My friend's family used to struggle over dish-washing duties: the parents would frequently get mad at the kids for leaving their dishes in the sink and not emptying the dishwasher.
One day, I was at their house with all the kids home, and when we left the dishes in the sink, the parents blew up: it was time for a family meeting. (Continued)
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Not sure where to go, I awkwardly sat in the next room, but could still hear the meeting conversation. After a few minutes of bickering, it turned out that the reason the kids unload the dishwasher was that they didn't know if it was clean or dirty was because the mom would always turn off the "clean" LED light on the dishwasher to save energy. When I heard that, I just burst out laughing, which relieved the family tension and the mom realized the ridiculousness of her statement. No more turning off the LED unless you empty the dishwasher.
Problem Solved.
17. I know a lady, who keeps on collecting those small ketchup sachets you get for free at food joints. She is known to have collected up to a kilo of ketchup in a day in her handbag from all the different food joints in the city. Later she fills up small bottles and sell it as her homemade ketchup to unsuspecting people.
18. I know a bunch of people that will burn a gallon of gas driving across town to get the "cheapest" gas. Come on man it's like 3 cents cheaper and you have a 12 gallon tank.
19. Going to the gym every other day which is my hair wash schedule and showering there to save money on hot water.
20. A large catfish in the only bathtub of my Vietnamese friends house. He told me they fatten them and purify them for a few days before eating it by feeding it a special diet. Oh, and they showered with it.
21. Guy joined our unit in the Army stationed in Germany, over a decade ago. Only eats in DFAC (Dining Facilities), only wears PT uniform off duty. Owns only a couple other pieces of clothing. Buys nothing, even puts socks on layaway at the PX.
We invited him to the clubs and he would only go if (Continued)
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We invited him to the clubs and he would only go if we paid. For everything. Didn't drink though, only water. Middle of a deployment and he's about to ETS (End of Term of Service = leave Army). He only had a 2 year contract. Ships back to Germany before flying back home to San Francisco. Buys a 3 series BMW for cash before going home.
You think you have discipline? This guy was on a different level.
22. I had a roommate in college with a back up battery. He would go to the library and charge that thing all day then use that to power his PC at night. I managed the bills in the house and I noticed $8~20 monthly reduction in electricity once he started doing that.
23. Took the kiddos trick-or-treating this past Halloween. One house had a bowl on the porch that only had restaurant peppermints and fortune cookies.
24. Someone I know bought a microwave. Knowing the store has a 90 day return policy, they return the microwave for a new one every 89 days, citing a new "problem" and often making up a problem of their own.
They've never had to replace a microwave and are always at the pinnacle of microwave technology.
25. 1) My great grandfather bought insanely cheap cigars and then cut them open for chewing tobacco.
2) 10 years ago, he lost his leg to something like gangrene because he was too cheap to go to the doctor. After they took his leg off (below the knee), he opted out of the prosthetic (it would have cost him some money, I don't know how much but anything over $20 would be too much) and carved himself a pegleg.
3) He drank one Hamms Gold beer a day. That was his beer because he got 12 packs for $2 at a drugstore by his house. Cheapest beer available.
26. A friend of mine had converted her loft space into a spare room, which her ex boyfriend moved into after (Continued)
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they split up. They were not living together prior to the split. I always found that a bit weird, because he had to go into her bedroom and pull down the loft ladder to access his own room. It must have been awkward when they had new boyfriends/girlfriends staying over.
27. One of my grandmothers would rarely flush her toilet. "But my dear, water is SO expensive." Riiight. Also she'd often sit in the dark in the evenings to the extend you'd think she wasn't in. "The price of electricity these days!" She had money. She'd just got weirder and weirder as time went on. Lived on long life canned food and powdered milk. (She was 92).
28. I cut my own hair. I haven't gotten a haircut from a barber in 3-4 years. At first it was because I could never find a decent barber, but nowadays, it's easier for me to take care of it.
29. My husband grew up very poor and his dad won't use air conditioning. Their house is hot as balls in the summer. He tried doing that with our house but my pregnant self put a stop to that real quick.
30. Back in college, I had an acquaintance who was the king of dipping out of a bill. He would pay the first round of the night because he knew everyone would remember it and it was usually the cheapest (college bar beers). Then he would not even bother to chip in the rest of the night. The worst was dinner tabs. He would all of a sudden get sleepy (pretending to be too tipsy) right before the bill was coming and put his head down when it showed up. He would than magically wake up and be perfectly fine after the rest of us split it up. Funny thing is he was so smooth at this that most people never even noticed. But I did. I remember you, jack. Don't be like jack.
31. Not actually saving money, but simply wasting energy...
My Grandma would collect the cold water from the hot tap, then re-heat it up on the stove, to dump back into the sink to wash the dishes by hand before putting them into the dishwasher to run.
32. Had a friend who would camp out behind the Good Will / Salvation Army, and when people showed up to drop off donations, would walk up to the car and ask if they wouldn't mind if he looked through what they had first. He was up front about it, and most people seemed to be okay letting him.
33. I had a friend that would carry around a Mcdonald's and Subway cup in his backpack in the summer, and if he were ever thirsty he would stop off at the nearest location, get a free refill from the machine, and be on his merry way. He said you had to refill something like 22 times until they started losing money, so he would use the cups that many times, then buy the next time, and so on. For a kid in high school, I thought it was bloody brilliant.
- Thewriter
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a Difference
Blockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
Discs
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
Discharge
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
Interpretations...
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...
toilet paper help GIFGiphy"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spin
fidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
All Yours...
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
Dial Up
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...
ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
Internet Arguments
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
- Brundleflyftw
"Amen!"
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
- grumpybaldguy
Games
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
- Squanch42069
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
- -helpwanted
GiphyCut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
- PrairieBunny91
"BOOM!"
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
- MuffinTrucker
GiphyExistential Crisis
"Drinking heavily."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
- TheOptimumLemon
"Same."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
- dont_panic21
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
- youngOldMonk
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
- Noggin-a-Floggin
GiphyNothing "General"
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
- sunflakie
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
- jmmorart317
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
- VanillaGorilla
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
- MudIsland
GiphyAsk Yourself
"Facebook."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
- chupalaw
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
- mxnstrs
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
- combativewaifu
GiphyMoving
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
- Hasenpfeffer_
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
- aigheadish
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
- Disastrous_Budget_11
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
- bigelmn8r
GiphyNot The Cool Old Guy
"Tik Tok."
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
- traws06
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
- moothemost
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
- theslother
GiphySince We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
- Foxhound199
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
- independencedaffodil
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
- takeoutthewitch
GiphyWhy Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
- CatReal7672
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
- bluegrassmommy
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
- Zombifi3r
GiphyReal talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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