Well you know what they say, a penny in the pocket is a... wait, what's the saying? Is there even a saying? Whatever, just go read about these cheap people, OKAY!? We all know you're not here for the intro, anyway.
1. I have a friend whose grandfather would take out all of the grandchildren to Dunkin' Donuts. He would buy a single doughnut and then cut it into six pieces for each of the grandchildren. Then he would take a huge handful of napkins and take them home with him. At home he would cut them in half to use.
This same man also bought cat food when he first came to America because he thought that it was cheap tuna for people and that the cat was a mascot selling the tuna.
2. My wife always talks about her great-grandfather's frugality. He hand built most of their furniture, had a black and white TV in the 90's, and drank Sam's Choice beer. The neighbors had a dispute with him concerning the overhang of his outside shed, it apparently was too close to their property line. So this rickety old man filled his Sam's Choice beer cans with homemade concrete, somehow raised the entire shed by himself, and rolled it on the cans 6 inches away from their property. Entire endeavor cost about $8. This man was slick.
Weird thing is, he had money. Lots of money. He was an engineer for NASA during the Gemini/Apollo missions. I guess doing it right for a cheap as possible was ingrained in him. He died before I met my wife. He would have been fun to talk to.
3. When my grandpa was alive, he griped at my dad for leaving the Num lock on on the keyboard because it was wasting electricity. My dad gave him a nickel and was like "there, that just covered the next two years."
4. My grandpa takes everything from restaurants he can get his hands on. Crackers, mints, ketchup packets, napkins. Not like one. Like a lot.
5. The year before I went to University I had a sudden realization that I would need to start thinking about household essentials in a way I hadn't before. I was paying for everything myself, so I thought it would be a genius idea to start saving up as many free things I could, that way I could have myself covered for those basic costs. Every time I went to a restaurant I would take home fistfuls of ketchup, mustard, straws, napkins, sugar, salt, pepper, and other of those little free giveaways. I must've collected hundreds and I was pretty proud of myself, too, until my mom came in one day and asked me
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I must've collected hundreds and I was pretty proud of myself, too, until my mom came in one day and asked mewhat it all was. "Oh, I'm saving this stuff for university," I said. My mom looked at the sugar packets and was like, "You know you could buy a full bag of sugar for like two dollars, right?" Oh.
Thewriter
6. In Canada we no longer have the penny so when you're total comes to 2.33 it rounds up to 2.35. Or 2.32 would round down to 2.30.
Whenever a friend of mine makes a purchase he waits to see the total, if it's going to round down he pays in cash, but if it's going to round up he pays with card since the machine can actually charge you the correct amount. He saves pennies a day!
7. They offer to go on a lunch run for everyone in the office. The place they go to has these "Punch this card 5 times get a free lunch".
He's basically got to get 5 people lunch and his is free, all he has to do is take a 10 minute walk.
Pretty smart if you ask me.
8. In college I worked as a barista and we threw out a ton of pastries, bagels and sandwiches. The owner was very clear that we could not take anything out of the case and bring it home but there was nothing stopping us from digging through the garbage. So at closing time we would take out the day's trash then divvy up the food to be thrown away put them in small bags gently set them inside the clean trash bag for a second then take it out and go home. Free food loophole.
9. This was in the mid-90s, but I worked with a guy who knew the "throw out routines" of several close-by fast food restaurants: McDonald's, Schlozky's, etc.
Back then, McDonald's would just make a ton of everything, put them under a heat lamp, and they would just get picked up as people ordered them.
Items had a fairly short shelf life, so they would get tossed. He said most of the time they would all go in the same trash bag, everything in their individual wrappers.
He somehow knew which bags were which and would bring home a big bag of Big Macs, Quarter Pounders, and whatnot.
I took his advice and went to Schlozky's right after closing. I opened their dumpster and, sure enough, there was a big garbage bag FULL of their fresh-made bread and nothing else. I took that bag home, froze most of it, and ate for a year on Schlozky's bread.
That was my only time dumpster diving, but the guy was definitely onto something (that didn't include weight management).
10. My dad refuses to buy drinking glasses. Instead, he will
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buy the cheapest spaghetti and alfredo sauces that come in glass jars (ragu, I'm looking at you), use the sauce, and save the jar. He cleans the jars, removes the label, and voila new drinking glasses.
11. It was me. When McDonald's used to give those stickers out with their coffee, after you filled one up with four stickers you could get a free coffee. I worked the recycle truck and would stockpile every cup I'd find working a suburb. Free mocha frappes for months on end.
12. Whole Foods take 10c off your bill for every bag you bring with you. If you bring two bags, they'll give you 20c although everything you bought could easily fit in one bag. The easiest way to get your bill from $168.40 to $168.20.
13. My friend's dad would make the family collect the water you run in the shower before it heats up. He would then use that water to water his yard.
14. In high school, I worked at a pizza place that would clean the refrigerator on Thursday nights for a supply shipment Friday mornings. Anything in the refrigerator that was fresh (onions, tomatoes, etc.) or not frozen anymore (meats, certain sauces, dough, etc.) were to be scrapped. One of the managers that closed on Thursday nights would instead of throwing out all this food, have us make whatever we wanted to take home. After 2 weeks of working the closing Thursday shift, the manager requested I help out permanently on Thursdays. We would clean the restaurant and then make whatever we wanted then do the dishes. I would generally take home 10 pizzas or so to my mom and sisters (I grew up pretty poor so pizza was a treat) and have dozens of hot wings.
15. A guy that lived in the room next to me only ate rice to save money. He got scurvy.
16. My friend's family used to struggle over dish-washing duties: the parents would frequently get mad at the kids for leaving their dishes in the sink and not emptying the dishwasher.
One day, I was at their house with all the kids home, and when we left the dishes in the sink, the parents blew up: it was time for a family meeting. (Continued)
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Not sure where to go, I awkwardly sat in the next room, but could still hear the meeting conversation. After a few minutes of bickering, it turned out that the reason the kids unload the dishwasher was that they didn't know if it was clean or dirty was because the mom would always turn off the "clean" LED light on the dishwasher to save energy. When I heard that, I just burst out laughing, which relieved the family tension and the mom realized the ridiculousness of her statement. No more turning off the LED unless you empty the dishwasher.
Problem Solved.
17. I know a lady, who keeps on collecting those small ketchup sachets you get for free at food joints. She is known to have collected up to a kilo of ketchup in a day in her handbag from all the different food joints in the city. Later she fills up small bottles and sell it as her homemade ketchup to unsuspecting people.
18. I know a bunch of people that will burn a gallon of gas driving across town to get the "cheapest" gas. Come on man it's like 3 cents cheaper and you have a 12 gallon tank.
19. Going to the gym every other day which is my hair wash schedule and showering there to save money on hot water.
20. A large catfish in the only bathtub of my Vietnamese friends house. He told me they fatten them and purify them for a few days before eating it by feeding it a special diet. Oh, and they showered with it.
21. Guy joined our unit in the Army stationed in Germany, over a decade ago. Only eats in DFAC (Dining Facilities), only wears PT uniform off duty. Owns only a couple other pieces of clothing. Buys nothing, even puts socks on layaway at the PX.
We invited him to the clubs and he would only go if (Continued)
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We invited him to the clubs and he would only go if we paid. For everything. Didn't drink though, only water. Middle of a deployment and he's about to ETS (End of Term of Service = leave Army). He only had a 2 year contract. Ships back to Germany before flying back home to San Francisco. Buys a 3 series BMW for cash before going home.
You think you have discipline? This guy was on a different level.
22. I had a roommate in college with a back up battery. He would go to the library and charge that thing all day then use that to power his PC at night. I managed the bills in the house and I noticed $8~20 monthly reduction in electricity once he started doing that.
23. Took the kiddos trick-or-treating this past Halloween. One house had a bowl on the porch that only had restaurant peppermints and fortune cookies.
24. Someone I know bought a microwave. Knowing the store has a 90 day return policy, they return the microwave for a new one every 89 days, citing a new "problem" and often making up a problem of their own.
They've never had to replace a microwave and are always at the pinnacle of microwave technology.
25. 1) My great grandfather bought insanely cheap cigars and then cut them open for chewing tobacco.
2) 10 years ago, he lost his leg to something like gangrene because he was too cheap to go to the doctor. After they took his leg off (below the knee), he opted out of the prosthetic (it would have cost him some money, I don't know how much but anything over $20 would be too much) and carved himself a pegleg.
3) He drank one Hamms Gold beer a day. That was his beer because he got 12 packs for $2 at a drugstore by his house. Cheapest beer available.
26. A friend of mine had converted her loft space into a spare room, which her ex boyfriend moved into after (Continued)
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they split up. They were not living together prior to the split. I always found that a bit weird, because he had to go into her bedroom and pull down the loft ladder to access his own room. It must have been awkward when they had new boyfriends/girlfriends staying over.
27. One of my grandmothers would rarely flush her toilet. "But my dear, water is SO expensive." Riiight. Also she'd often sit in the dark in the evenings to the extend you'd think she wasn't in. "The price of electricity these days!" She had money. She'd just got weirder and weirder as time went on. Lived on long life canned food and powdered milk. (She was 92).
28. I cut my own hair. I haven't gotten a haircut from a barber in 3-4 years. At first it was because I could never find a decent barber, but nowadays, it's easier for me to take care of it.
29. My husband grew up very poor and his dad won't use air conditioning. Their house is hot as balls in the summer. He tried doing that with our house but my pregnant self put a stop to that real quick.
30. Back in college, I had an acquaintance who was the king of dipping out of a bill. He would pay the first round of the night because he knew everyone would remember it and it was usually the cheapest (college bar beers). Then he would not even bother to chip in the rest of the night. The worst was dinner tabs. He would all of a sudden get sleepy (pretending to be too tipsy) right before the bill was coming and put his head down when it showed up. He would than magically wake up and be perfectly fine after the rest of us split it up. Funny thing is he was so smooth at this that most people never even noticed. But I did. I remember you, jack. Don't be like jack.
31. Not actually saving money, but simply wasting energy...
My Grandma would collect the cold water from the hot tap, then re-heat it up on the stove, to dump back into the sink to wash the dishes by hand before putting them into the dishwasher to run.
32. Had a friend who would camp out behind the Good Will / Salvation Army, and when people showed up to drop off donations, would walk up to the car and ask if they wouldn't mind if he looked through what they had first. He was up front about it, and most people seemed to be okay letting him.
33. I had a friend that would carry around a Mcdonald's and Subway cup in his backpack in the summer, and if he were ever thirsty he would stop off at the nearest location, get a free refill from the machine, and be on his merry way. He said you had to refill something like 22 times until they started losing money, so he would use the cups that many times, then buy the next time, and so on. For a kid in high school, I thought it was bloody brilliant.
- Thewriter
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"
Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
Wind Conan Obrien GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
Staring I See You GIF by QuikTripGiphy"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
Happy Cat GIF by ChubbiverseGiphy"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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