Amused People Share The Best Comebacks They've Ever Heard
[rebelmouse-image 18345381 is_animated_gif=Whether you call it a comeback, a clapback, a sassback, shade or just being Chrissy Teigen - the ability to respond to things with a witty insult is a skill some people just have in droves. Others don't think of the perfect come back until hours or days later. Some of us never do, no matter how many episodes of Golden Girls we watch. Yeah, Golden Girls. It's a master class, honestly. Those shady ladies were brilliant.
One Reddit user asked:
What is the best comeback you've ever heard?
Being a clapback master doesn't take years of training. Some of the responses here came from kids. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, young or old. When the sass moves through you, it's a moment of pure brilliant beauty. Shine bright like a diamond!
Joke's On You
[rebelmouse-image 18345382 is_animated_gif=In tenth grade my friend called a classmate illiterate. He replied, "Joke's on you, I don't know what that means."
I think about that a lot.
Glad You Remember
[rebelmouse-image 18345383 is_animated_gif=Comedian: "First time I ever had sex...."
A girl in the crowd: You mean yesterday?
Crowd goes wild with laughter. Comedian waits for everyone to quiet down, then with perfect timing, goes: "Glad you remember"
Crowd goes insane
Grandma Shade
[rebelmouse-image 18345384 is_animated_gif=My grandma was playing bridge with her friends and the subject of age came up. My grandma said she was 63, then the next woman said "A lady doesn't discuss such things", so my grandma said "don't worry dear, I'm sure when I'm your age I won't want to discuss it either..."
Everyone Got In Trouble
[rebelmouse-image 18345385 is_animated_gif=Had a friend who was adopted, she was actually a huge bully and made fun of me because my mom worked three jobs and so she was never home. One day she's in bully mode and says:
**"At least my mom loves me enough to stay home and be with me" **
and I clapped back with
**"At least my real mom loved me enough to keep me!" **
She then smacked me. She got in trouble and so did I, but she never made fun of my mom not being home again.
Smaller
[rebelmouse-image 18345386 is_animated_gif=There was this guy at a frat party was dared to whip out his pecker in front of this girl and asked her what it looked like. Without missing a beat she replied:
"A penis, only smaller."
Miniature Golf
[rebelmouse-image 18345387 is_animated_gif=My mother- in- law is 4'11". She once asked a 6'5" co-worker of mine if he played basketball. To which he replied:
"No. Do you play miniature golf?"
Fart
[rebelmouse-image 18345388 is_animated_gif=When I was 7, I was at a crowded McDonalds near Disneyland. I tried to squeeze through the really long line waiting to order food and accidentally bumped into this woman with her two kids.
She turned to me and said in her most sarcastic and accusing voice:
**"Well excuuuuse me." **
to which my 7 year old self instantly responded:
**"Why, did you fart?" **
A few people in line laughed and I continued on my way. She did not look pleased to be told out-sassed by a 7 year old. To this day, I have no idea why I said it, but I'm really glad I did.
In An Effort To Seem Cool...
[rebelmouse-image 18345389 is_animated_gif=Years ago I was out drinking with friends and some people we'd just met, including a guy I was interested in. There was lots of banter flying back and forth. In an effort to seem cool to our new acquaintances I threw a lame, slightly personal insult to my friend across the table, I don't even remember what it was as it was so long ago but probably along the lines of a "your mum" joke.
Despite obviously hearing what I'd said, he looked directly at me and said (in a non-aggressive way)"sorry I couldn't hear you, what was that you said?" Feeling little stupid at this point I repeated it. Once again, louder (and our company was paying attention now) he said "I didn't get it that time either, what did you say?" At that point, the table had fallen silent and with all eyes on me. I felt so small and embarrassed that I just mumbled "never mind" into my drink.
Looking back he clearly knew exactly what he was doing and I've used this tactic since- it's so simple yet effective and guaranteed to make you opponent want the earth to swallow them whole.
The Duck Tattoo
[rebelmouse-image 18345390 is_animated_gif=Sophomore year of high school, 1995ish. A close friend of mine had just gotten her first of what would eventually be many tattoos: a rubber ducky on her belly, just beside her navel. We had a church camp thing that weekend, and she tried to keep it covered as much as she could, but she had to keep applying neosporin and such, so we kept ducking out to hallways and spare conference rooms at this massive church so she could take care of business and I would look out for any adults who might yell at her about the tattoo.
So, maybe the fifth time we go out to get her tattoo some air, these girls from another church sneak out and follow us. Picture the cast of "mean girls" - wealthy, snotty, preppy, pretty, and totally up their own butts. They're all blonde, thin as rails, and dressed like a Land's End advertisement. (My friend and I were also skinny blondes, but she dressed grunge and I was into the skater/raver look at the time - a total poser, as I didn't do drugs, but I had a pixie haircut with a green streak in it and wore little boys' polo shirts and enormous pants - not the type these girls thought of as cool).
Anyway, the lead blonde clone walks up to us and asks in her flat valley girl voice, "Oh, my God. Is that a TATTOO?" And my friend goes "yeah," as she's dabbing little spots of blood away and applying ointment. And the girl goes "IS IT REAL?" And my friend goes, "No, it's fake and so is the blood." Blondie catches her sarcasm, amazingly enough, stares hard at my friend's belly for a moment, and asks "What's going to happen when you get fat?"
And without missing a beat or even looking up from what she was doing, my friend said, "I don't know, what happened when YOU got fat?"
The girl was just openmouthed for a second, and then went, "B****," and stalked off with her entourage. But I could tell my friend got to her. She was the comeback goddess. She always knew exactly what to say to level a person who crossed her.
H/T: Reddit
People Describe The Most Historically Significant Event They've Ever Witnessed In Person
Reddit user FictionVent asked: 'What is the most historically significant event you witnessed IN PERSON?'
Do you ever wonder what it must've been like to experience major events throughout world history when reading about them in text books?
But if you take pause and actually think about it, we're living through many newsworthy current events that succeeding generations will be talking about long after we're gone.
Reading about them online or in newspapers is one thing. But seeing them happen unfold before our eyes is another.
Curious to hear from those who'll have anecdotes to tell in the future, Redditor "What is the most historically significant event you witnessed IN PERSON?"
People recall the natural disaster events they've witnessed.
Tremors
"1964 Good Friday Earthquake 9.2 Richter. Was a boy in Cordova, Alaska at the time."
– KitchenLab2536
"My father was skipper of the USCG cutter stationed there. He was inport, and when the quake struck shortly before 5:30pm, he and my mom gathered me and my three siblings on the front porch. At first, it felt like the house was crumbling at the foundation, but on the porch we could plainly see our whole world was shaking. I remember watching telephone poles swaying, and the wires snapping and crackling in the street. The quake lasted about five minutes initially. My dad got his ship underway to avoid the tidal wave which was sure to come. We had several aftershocks in the coming weeks, some of which were quite strong, though nowhere near as strong or as long as the quake itself. I was seven at the time."
– KitchenLab2536
Collapsing Freeway
"October 17th, 1989. I watched the 880 Nimitz freeway collapse during the San Francisco earthquake. The Honda in front of me had the upper deck crush her front-end engine compartment. The mother and her daughter were shaken up but completely fine."
"I was driving a convertible Triumph Spitfire, which was scratched up slightly from debris. However, I walked away unscathed. Aside from the fact I pissed my pants, which I didn't notice until much later."
– CatDaddyWhisper
Thar She Blows
"I sat on the roof of our house and watched Mt. St. Helens erupt less than 100 miles away."
– stinkykitty71
"This must have been fascinating and terryfing in equal measure. What a thing to witness."
– runrossyrun
"It was amazing! The ash that covered everything like snow was interesting to kid me, but less so to my parents."
– stinkykitty71
People recall seeing major catastrophes as a result of malfunctions or judgement errors.
Bomber Crash
"The b-52 crash that led to changing what large military aircraft are allowed to do for airshows."
"I didn't see the plane, but immediately saw the fireball. It was just a perfect, bright red turning to black mushroom cloud."
"Fairchild is a nuclear air base and there were a few minutes there where I was sure the world was about to end."
"A few years before a KC-135 doing the same thing crashed near the school while we were in class."
– goffstock
Tragic Takeoff
"I was standing on my front porch watching the launch of the Challenger."
– StarChaser_Tyger
"Was riding in my parents car to a basketball game in the next town over in north texas when we saw a shooting star and thought that was neat."
"It was the Columbia..."
– Misdirected_Colors
Demolition Gone Wrong
"The failed implosion of the Zip feed mill in Sioux Falls, SD in 2005."
"They hyped it up, sold tickets to it, had a big 'BOOM' marketing thing, and broadcast it live on TV."
"The explosives took out the main supports on the first floor, and the rest of the building above it just plopped down 10ft or so and came to a rest. It was a massive failure, and was a funny little blurb on news stations around the world that day. Definitely not major news, just the rest of the world taking 20 seconds to laugh at us."
"The building sat like that (the leaning tower of SuFu) for quite a while until they figured out how to safely demolish it."
"Here's a clip of the failed demolition."
– KitchenBandicoots
These well-known historical events were seen by very few who are alive today.
Historical Remnant
"The tumbling of the Wall in Germany… along with people selling bits and pieces of it on tables in lobby in front of commissary and px in the following weeks and months. I had picked up a chunk about the size of an oreo and kept it… has blue spray paint on the flat side. Wonder if anyone is buying them now?"
– SingedPenguin13
Major Upheaval
"I would have to say the LA riots. I lived about two blocks from where it started. I was on my way home from school and saw someone throw a brick through a window. I didn’t even wait. I just started running the whole way home."
– Scarlaymama0721
Day Of Infamy
"9/11, I could SMELL the collapse of the towers."
– go4tli
"A friend of mine was there. One day in the warehouse we worked in together there was an odd electrical burning smell. He stopped in his tracks and went 'this is what 9/11 smelled like.'"
– mantistoboggan287
I didn't physically witness the fall of the World Trade Center but I was living in New York City at the time.
However, I did see the smoke.
I was living up north in Washington Heights at the time and knowing what happened, uncertain of what was to come, and seeing the plumes of smoke from the attack site was the most ominous sight I've ever seen in my life to date.
Have you ever lived through a historic moment or witnessed something sure to be noted in history books? Let us know in the comments below.
People Who Quit Their Job In The Middle Of A Shift Explain Why They Did It
A job search is not fun, so most people will tolerate a lot to keep a job.
But everyone has their limit.
Sometimes that limit is reached right in the middle of a work day and people are forced to walk off the job with no prior notice.
Reddit user thann3 asked:
"Have you ever gotten up and quit your job in the middle of a work shift? If so, why?"
Hands Off
"I was a bar back in my 20s, and I had an incredibly abusive boss. It was a weekend night, and the bar had two floors, and I was the only bar back that night, and there was only one bartender on each floor."
"At about midnight, food orders would start coming in left and right, and that night was no exception."
"Between having to empty out ashtrays, pick up dirty glasses, clean tables, wash dishes, and make all of the food orders, I couldn’t keep up."
"My boss got very angry with me because I was behind on food orders and people were starting to get upset about having tables with empty glasses and very delayed food orders."
"She summoned me over to the bar, grabbed me by the shirt collar, shook me, and screamed in my face, 'Just get me through the rest of the f**king night and then you can quit!'."
"I was in disbelief, and went back upstairs."
"I looked at all of the tickets I had left to make, and just decided that job wasn’t worth it."
"I turned off the grill and the fryers, turned the light off in the kitchen, threw my towel in the dirty towel hamper, and walked out."
"That was the night I stopped taking other peoples’ sh*t."
~ ConspicuousCat80
Tech Crash
"Dell computer sales 1998."
"They fired 90% of all the commission making sales people and replaced them with hourly workers from a temp agency."
"They then asked me to train them. I was like, 'maybe you should have trained them before firing everyone— why would I train them so you can fire me in 2 weeks?'."
"I then grabbed my sh*t and noped out of there!"
~ Raspberries-Are-Evil
Fight Club 🥊
"Temp agency sent me for assignment to a small factory making furniture."
"7am start time. At 7:03 or :04 , while still waiting for some sort of foreman/ supervisor to come over & say hello, here's what we do here ........ coupla dudes start shouting at each other & it breaks out into full blown fisticuffs."
"Yeah, I'd seen enough."
"Funny how I have a completely crystal clear memory of looking at the clock in my car as I drove away. 7:12am."
~ thrwawaythrwaway_now
At the Car Wash
"I worked at a car wash during the winter in the wet tunnel."
"Manager got in my face for wearing a coat that didn’t have the company logo on it, but they didn’t make uniform coats. Told him to eat my entire a** and choke on it, and then left."
"It gets below zero here regularly, I’m not risking my life or even my comfort for $12 an hour."
~ BoobsCirca1942
All Day, All Night
"Dishtank. Only job I ever walked off of mid-shift."
"We had a new manager who was lazy and chased the women waitstaff. I cooked, did expo, prep, dishtank, and in a pinch I did waitstaff but new manager always tossed me in to dish tank."
"One day I opened the store at 430am as prep, then cooked until about 3pm; new manager comes in and tells me as I am leaving to 'get my a** back to the dishtank, that I am closing there tonight'."
"I told him I opened, preppeqd and cooked until now, and that I had sh*t to do tonight (I had a date)—to which he laughed."
"I told him to f*ck right off and walked out."
"Got a job delivering pizza for more money and better hours. F*ck you, Mark."
~ tigerbreak
Scrubbed
"I was a cook and new manager kept making me cover the dish pit cuz dishwasher was not showing up. They refused to hire another one and were making him work 7 days/week."
"I told him if he kept making me close dish pit I was gonna put my 2 weeks in."
"He said 'good' and went back to cooking. So I went and grabbed my shoes and backpack, got his attention, he turned around and I gave him a peace sign and left."
"Keep in mind I had been there for three years, worked as a busser, dishwasher, server, host, cook… I did everything they asked."
"He had only been our manager for 2 months."
~ Tensonrom
Nepo Baby
"I was 17 and just finshed mopping the floor at closing time and was walking out the door."
"The owner's son walked across the floor in boots covered in motor oil and told me to 'mop this sh*t up'."
"I dropped the mop on the foor and told him to do it himself."
"I was being paid minimum wage and wasn't going to deal with that sh*t."
~ Dead_Hours
Not Lovin' It
"I started at a McDonald's because I was desperate."
"First day, it's already 2 hours past the time I was supposed to go home, but they kept telling me I had to stay and wait (for what exactly?)."
"Finally they said to sweep the kitchen and go home. I swept everything into a big pile, was about to put it into the dustpan when the shift lead came by and said 'looks good!' then she kicked the pile out and said 'now do it again'."
"I made myself an ice cream cone and left."
~ dark_wolf1994
Customer Service
"After I retired early (at 50) I thought that a job at the local Tim Hortons would be perfect. Part time, no stress, and I enjoy seniors and our sleepy town of 2000 had a high percentage of seniors."
"Most of 'training' was me fixing the computers to get them to work so that I could actually watch the training videos. That was week one."
"Week two I realized how slow the location was, despite being on the highway. We had a lunch rush and it was pretty slow other than that."
"Two days into week two and I was already recognizing the regulars."
"Seniors in their 70/80's who would come and get one coffee in a China cup and ask that I fill it as much as I can because we didn't give refills."
"No problems, it drove me nuts to dump coffee after 20 minutes and not offer it to them."
"Problem was, very few of them could carry these full cups to the tables. No worries from me, I'd bring their coffee to them.
"As I said, the location was slow and days were long and boring. It was no big deal to carry coffee cups for a few seniors and make them smile.Twice that second day working the floor I got in sh*t for doing that.
"I pointed out that there was no one else in the store and it just took me moments. Their response was 'we are not a full service restaurant, let them carry their own coffees'."
"I stood like a useless fool behind the counter when the next group of seniors came in, feeling like an idiot."
"Break time came. I grabbed my coat and went out back for a smoke. Halfway through my break, with one of the managers, I said 'f**k this. I can't treat people like this. Sorry.' and walked home never to return as an employee."
"On the rare occasion that I go there as a customer, I'll jump up from my table to assist any seniors that I see and now they can't do a damned thing about it."
~ borborhick
Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot! 🥵
"I was a dishwasher, had worked there 2 weeks."
"The air conditioning (A/C) for kitchen and office both broke the day before I started."
"Office A/C was fixed the following day, kitchen A/C 'wasn't priority '. It was a heatwave in August, hitting 115° outside."
"The whole kitchen staff walked out."
~ handandfoot8099
Ring, Ring
"I was looking for work and took anything I could find, unfortunately the job I found was telemarketing."
"Anyway the work sucked and I hated it, I always took no for an answer and that got me in lots of trouble."
"They kept putting me in a room with this old VHS tape on pressure tactics and never taking no for an answer. The tape went for an hour so I just had a nap instead."
"Thankfully I was also looking for work on the side and found/got a job at the local supermarket, so I knew I had a backup plan."
"The next time they put me in that room with that tape, I had a nap again."
"When I came out they said 'if you have to go in there again your position will be terminated'."
"I just said 'I'll save you the trouble, I quit'."
"That really pissed them off because they were already understaffed."
~ TheRealReapz
"Same thing happened to me."
"Everyone yelling at me or hanging up."
"Boss pressuring me to make more calls."
"Took my lunch break and never went back."
~ MiltonRobert
Don't Mess With the IRS
"Day 2. Owner tells me that he pays taxes for us so he pays cash and it is after taxes."
"So $7.50 and not the $10/hr we agreed to."
"I walked out and called the IRS hotline to report fraud."
Have you ever quit a job in the middle of the work day?
Share your story in the comments.
Many weddings involve months of planning and thousands of dollars.
But the one guarantee in life is that poo happens and weddings are not immune to sh*t storms.
Natural disasters, unexpected illnesses, accidents or animosity can derail even the best laid wedding plans.
Reddit user NickWhite566 asked:
"What happened to those who had attended a botched wedding?"
Hunger Games
"Went to a Pig Roast wedding in a rural setting, 120 people, huge field, right by the river."
"I looked at the one pig roasting and thought to myself 'They must have the other pigs roasting elsewhere to keep the smoke down'—NOPE only one pig for 120 people."
"We were the first table to line up after the head table—and the pig was already 1/3 gone—they ran out at about table 5 of 20 tables."
"I ate then sat back an watched the fallout. One of the groomsmen was my good friend and I casually said 'Should throw the groom in the river for this kind of f**k up'."
"Groom was promptly thrown in the river—that kinda thing happens when people drink on empty stomachs."
~ collectivedisagree
Stone Cold
"A few years ago, my cousin was getting married. The man she was marrying was perfect for her. I was jealous. I wanted something like they had."
"Anyway, the day of the wedding comes and her maid of honor (bride's sister) and her soon to be husband are nowhere to be found."
"Well, she's waiting in the church and one of the groomsmen comes in with a hand written letter from the fiancé."
"Turns out the maid of honor (her sister) and her fiancé have been sleeping together for a while, she's pregnant, and they ran off to Vegas to get married."
"So, no wedding."
~ ServiceCall1986
Change of Venue
"I attended a wedding where they held the ceremony and reception at this renovated historic house. During the reception though, police were called because apparently the 'venue' wasn't actually permitted to be a business."
"It was just some people's house that they kept renting out to weddings to the immense annoyance of their neighbors (and subsequently the police)."
"One of the house owners actually ended up being arrested because they had already been given a 'last warning' at the previous wedding the weekend before, and the dude was getting belligerent."
"Most of the reception was done by that point anyway, but it sure was chaotic as we were all shooed out, trying to call like 50 Ubers while the cops made sure we left."
~ ShrimpHeavenAngel
Brrrr... 🥶
"I attended an outdoor wedding."
"In December."
"All the guests assumed there would be shelter/heating but nope—nothing was provided."
"All us guests were freezing cold. Some got drunk as fast as they could and others kept asking the staff for cups of tea, not to drink but to hold the warm cups."
"It was awful."
~ ErodeMode
Tragic
"Went to the wedding of one of my husband's close friends and everything was going wonderful until about 3 hours in when the bride's grandma becomes unresponsive."
"We were sitting right next to that table when she falls to the floor not breathing. Our other friend (an EMT) ended up performing CPR on her until the paramedics came."
"He said he felt her ribs cracking under his hands."
"The wedding promptly ended as the bride and groom go to the hospital with grandma. She passed away in the hospital that night after an emergency surgery."
~ blondie5697
Not What They Ordered
"My wife and I watched in horror as the wedding planner proceeded to get very sloppily drunk and exceedingly outlandish behavior."
"It came crashing to an end when she started dancing/grinding on the father of the bride with his wife and the bride a few feet away staring in shock."
"Lots of shouting and then the groomsmen not so kindly escorted her out."
~ uni-monkey
Father of the Bride
"I was the photographer."
"The bride was very close to her stepfather, and her father had not been in the picture for a lot of her life, but he was invited to the wedding and they did two father-daughter dances so he wasn't left out or anything."
"He was also supposed to pay for part of the photos, and he just showed up with no money. He eventually got mad, like she was doing something wrong by including the stepdad, who raised her and paid for most of the wedding (and for that matter, her upbringing)."
"She spent like an hour crying in the back and eventually an uncle offered to pay for some of what the dad owed."
"I knocked off $100 and stayed an extra hour for free so we could get all the photos we would have done during that hour, but it was obviously not the same for her."
"Then the dad spent weeks harassing me to send him the photos I took because she wouldn't send them to him. (I didn't, obviously)."
~ LizardPossum
Noped Out
"The Bride said NO at the altar. Literally walked back down the aisle and out the door."
"The groom stood for a moment and then went to a side room. The minister followed the groom, then came back and said that while the wedding was off, the reception would go forward since the food was already there.
"Awkward reception and nobody stayed long after eating."
"They were getting married because the bride was pregnant, and they thought it was the right thing to do. She decided that pregnancy was not a good reason to marry after all."
"She had the baby and they ended up raising the child together, although not as a romantic couple."
~ Lulinda726
Worst Man
"I used to have a friend who owned a small hotel which operated primarily as a wedding venue. They lived in one of the hotel rooms, so all of the events taking place in the courtyard directly outside their door could be heard very clearly."
"We were hanging out one night during a wedding and listening to the speeches, the most notable of which was the best man speech during which he told the story of having a threesome with both the bride and groom at Burning Man, and heavily alluded to still being in love with the groom."
"Lots of older relatives in attendance."
"The place went silent and the wedding ended about two hours early."
~ Chapsy_
Get Him to the Church on Time
"I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. Day of the wedding we are all getting ready as you normally would. I'm in the bridal suite area; everything is going fantastically."
"The church is filled to capacity with guests. We all walk down the aisle and take our places, bridesmaids and groomsmen alike. My soon-to-be SIL is walking down the aisle on her father's arm. My brother is nowhere in sight."
"There is a long, awkward pause as my SIL is standing in front of a packed church, and we are all just looking at each other. Everyone is assuming the worst—that my brother has skipped out at the altar and left her."
"I'm shout whispering to the Best Man 'where is he'eandk he says 'I don't know". My mom is nearly having a heart attack."
"My dad finally gets up goes to the room where my bro was supposed to be waiting and comes out with my brother. My brother says 'Where's the minister, I was waiting on him'."
"My bro hadn't left at all, the minister was a no-show!"
"He was supposed to be waiting with my bro and walk out with him, or tell him when it was time to walk out while groomsmen were lining up to escort bridesmaids down the aisle. Because no one had checked in on my bro after getting ready no one knew the minister wasn't there."
"At this point, we are all standing in a group at the front of the church; the majority of the church guests still don't know what is going on, just that my bro had to be summoned, and there are angry looks all around."
"My dad realizes he needs to let them in on what's going on, so he announces to the guests, 'We can't find the pastor, is anyone here licensed?' but of course no one is. The bride's father calls the minister on his cell phone, on speaker so the whole church can hear the conversation."
"'Hi Pastor Denny, where are you? Did you forget what today was? Yes Denny, the wedding. The wedding is right now. We are all waiting on you at the church. Ok we'll just wait here then'."
"Turns out the pastor was playing golf and had put the wedding date down as the following weekend in his planner."
"I then ask my soon-to-be SIL if she wants us to walk back down the aisle and come back in or what. She says at this point 'forget it we are all here' so we just stand around and wait for Pastor Denny and try to make jokes with the wedding guests but it's pretty awkward as no one really knows what to do."
"After about 15 minutes Pastor Denny comes running into the church in his golf clothes—polo shirt/funny shorts etc...—apologizes and goes immediately into the vows."
"My poor SIL was furious that day, first thinking my bro had ditched her at the altar then at the fact that the minister had ditched them."
"She laughs about it now but it was a tense ceremony."
~ GreedyReality9815
Party!
"It was my very first friend to get married: a girl I’d known in high school. We were 24, 25. Classic rom-com nightmare scenario where the groom had second thoughts the day of and just bolted."
"We all just milled around for a while, not sure what to do. Awful vibes, the bride’s mom was weeping hysterically."
"Me and some friends were finally making our way to the exits, and the bride stopped us, like 'where the f**k do you think you’re going? You guys are taking me out to a bar right this minute, and you’re gonna have to carry me out of there.”
"So we did—mostly the young people, though a few stray aunts and uncles came along, including a few of the groom’s relatives who were like, 'he’s a little punk anyway, you’re better off without him'.”
"We all got unfathomably drunk, sang karaoke, glasses were shattered, the bride hit on literally every man there including me (though no one took her up on it, that would have been weird)."
"There were a rough few months in store for her afterward, but that ended up being a hell of a party. I can still feel the hangover a decade later."
"Bride married a guy who actually showed up several years later. I think they’re happy."
"No idea about the groom—that was the last time any of us really spoke about him."
~ Nerazzurro9
Surprise?
"My family was invited to what we thought was an engagement party. My aunt had reserved a room at a local restaurant for about 50 people."
"Turns out it was my cousin's wedding. So no one brought a gift or dressed up at all. Bride is in a wedding dress and groom is wearing jeans."
"We ordered food and drinks. The officiant does his thing while waiters are bringing in drinks and appetizers. Finally over and we get to eat."
"But when the officiant asked for the marriage license so they can all sign it, my cousin and his new wife just stared at him confused."
"They didn't know they had to get one!"
"Thought just having a wedding was enough. They were in their late 20s."
"So wedding, but no marriage. They never did 'officially' get married and he ran off a few years later to another state to be with some girl he met online."
~ msao2009
Sick Day
"Friend's wedding. A bunch of people got food poisoning at the rehearsal dinner. Including the groom."
"He spent the night at the ER getting fluids and medication to stop puking. This was an awesome high-end wedding and he almost cancelled."
"He was a pale green color and basically sipped Gatorade all day and got through it. He married his high school sweetheart and they have been married 30+ years."
~ Caspers_Shadow
Fill In
"The best man choked on a piece of steak. I didn’t see it happen but I guess someone performed the Heimlich. It came out, anyway."
"They called an ambulance (you always should go to hospital! Even if obstruction is removed) and he left."
"Another groomsman did an impromptu speech in his place, which was brave of him. He started off with 'I guess (best man) bit off more than he could chew with that role'."
~ rescueruby
Have you ever been invited to a wedding that didn't happen the way it was planned?
Share your story in the comments.
People Break Down The Craziest Money-Making Schemes They've Ever Heard Of
When I was in seventh grade, I had aspirations to be a poet. I made a Mother's Day card for my mom with a cute (but now, cringe-worthy) poem inside, and a hand-drawn picture of a rose that took me hours to perfect.
A friend saw the card and said they wished they could do the same. Then suddenly, she asked if she could buy the card from me. I said no, since I needed to give it to my own mother, but I said I could make her a copy. From there, my friend got the idea for me to make copies of the card to sell. I went along with it, mostly because I didn't think it would actually work.
Turns out, it did. After making sure people would actually be interested, we went to the library after school and made several color copies of my card for 10 cents each. The next day, we sold each card for $1. Not only did we make enough money so that my friend and I could both afford to get our moms an actual present in addition to the card, but we had enough leftover to put us over the top for the money we needed to buy the matching faux leather jackets we'd been wanting all year.
The next year, many people who bought cards asked me to do it again, so I did. Once again, we made a killing. We didn't try to do it again once we got to high school, but it was definitely fun while it lasted.
When we tell people this story, they think it's a pretty crazy money-making scheme. Maybe it is, but we're not the only ones who ever did anything like this. Redditors know all about crazy money-making schemes, and are eager to share their own stories.
It all started when Redditor primeiro23 asked:
"What are the craziest ways you’ve heard of people making money?"
Tumble Into Business
"In college, I take a class on how to start & run a small business. Prof tells us to think of ridiculous business models for our fictitious businesses as we will get more out of the class that way. Stupid ideas ensue. Selling paperclips door to door, refilling car gasoline tanks in people's driveways, service to read & summarize the newspaper to executives etc."
"One classmate decides he is going to sell tumbleweed."
"Guess who quits college and started a successful business? Tumbleweed guy. Takes a van to the desert, collects tumbleweed and sells them to Hollywood movie & TV studios who need them. Keeps the tumbleweed in a warehouse and since they never spoil, his only costs are gasoline, storage & a website. He eventually becomes the number one tumbleweed provider to studios around the world, shipping tumbleweed globally."
"Made a heap of money selling what millions of people drive by and ignore every year."
– Accomplished-Fig745
Synopses
"I did have a job reading and summarizing newspaper articles to the boss. Literally only task I was hired for."
– Draigdwi
"An actual union job in the film industry is reading scripts and summarizing them in short mean book reports."
– Trixiebees
Jump!
"Heard of crazier, but a guy I know, friend of my mother's, went to Texas 30+ years ago. (we are from Norway), and he noticed every single garden had a trampoline. And it was almost always "jump king" - the circular with blue mat ones."
"So he went to the HQ, bought 10 and took back to Norway. Within days they were sold, and he ordered 50 more, same thing. So he became the only importer and has God knows how many millions to his name today."
– alexdaland
"This IS wild. I went to Norway recently and one of the first things I noticed was that almost EVERY yard had a trampoline in it."
– TrulyMadlyCheaply
Working For A Home
"Back when Dogecoin took off I wrote a guide on recovering old lost wallets and it got so popular I was flooded with requests for further help. Some corrupted wallet files, some lost passwords, etc."
"I have a background in computer science and experience in data retrieval and password cracking, so I started helping people in exchange for a percentage cut (industry standard for wallet recovery). All above board with a contract and everything."
"For a while I was getting new clients every week and making hundreds up to thousands of dollars on every successful recovery (with a fairly good rate of success). The biggest one I ever recovered was a 19 letter long password someone had lost. The work dried up when the price of doge dropped but it got me the down-payment on a house."
– internetpillows
Horsing Around
"A cabbie in Dublin once told me a story about one of his fares who had a brilliant hustle."
"The guy was a sculptor. He would watch horse races, then when a horse won, he'd use social media to contact the owner directly with a digital mockup of a life-sized sculpture of the winning horse. Now, the people who own winning racehorses tend to be very rich - we're talking sheikhs, oligarchs, billionaires. Every now and again, one of these owners would bite, and spend €100,000 euros or so on a statue commemorating their animal's win."
"Dude only did a couple a year, and spent the rest of the time living the good life."
– escoterica
Sweet!
"Richest guy in a rich town near us makes enormous amounts of money buying Hershey bars and rewrapping them with customised retirement celebration designs or corporate logos to be given away at events. Literally just rewraps them in pieces of paper and doubles or triples his money."
"Every time I try to start a company or invent a better product or something, I ask myself why I’m not just rewrapping candy bars."
– perchance2cream
"F**k man, I think I found my new niche."
– LibertyPrimeIsASage
Slightly Used
"I went to college in a capitol C college town. A friend of mine bought an old school bus, fixed it up and took out all the seats."
"At the end of every semester she would drive around the neighborhood that was the fancier side of off campus living and collect whatever the rich kids were throwing out before they moved / went home for the summer. Flat screen TVs, couches, computers, tables, it was wild to see what people would chuck out and replace the next semester rather than having to deal with getting a storage unit or moving themselves."
"Sold it all on Craigslist over the summer or the beginning of the next semester and made a killing."
– sam_neil
Credit Where Credit Is Undue
"When I worked in a really busy, upscale restaurant my coworker would put all of his cash-paying customer’s bills on his credit card and keep the cash which he used to promptly pay off his credit card."
"He did this all day, every day for quite a while and the points started to add up and he was getting free airfare, etc."
"Worked great for a while until management notice a rise in credit card processing fees with an emphasis on one employee and they shut him down real quick."
– blinkysmurf
We Found Gold!
"My buddy worked his way through college by panning for gold. This was in 2009 in California. Most days he made nothing, occasionally he would come home with a couple hundred bucks worth and I think once he found a night worth over $1k."
– discostud1515
"My cousin had a metal detector when he was in HS. He would go every weekend down to the lake and take it with him on vacation. He found all kinds of things. He did find gold jewelry and would sell it online. He made so much money he bought his own car."
– Content_Pool_1391
Sleeping For The Job
"I knew a woman whose job was literally to sleep."
"A local office building owner wanted somebody on-site 24/7 to be the point of contact with first responders if they ever needed to be called. So they hired her to come in to the building in the evening when the maintenance crew was finishing their work. And she would settle up to sleep for the night in a bedroom they'd set aside for her. In the morning she'd hand the building back over to the office employees and go on about her day."
"No first responders were ever called. It's about the least stressful legitimate job I could ever imagine."
– CaptainTime5556
The Secret
"Back in the 90s, I knew a guy who put an ad in the classified section of the newspaper which read something along the lines of, “For $10, I’ll tell you my secret to making easy money. Send $10 cash to (address) to find out how.” People would send him $10 & he would then instruct them to put a classified ad in the newspaper telling people to send $10 & how to make money."
– freudianfalls
Accident Payment
"I was pushed down the stairs by a teen girl who told me to "pay attention and get out of her way" i ripped my dress during the fall and was getting back up when some guy rushed up to me, apologized for his daughter and handed me $500 as compensation."
– thebrilliantcounc
"LOL - years back, I was in a parking lot during a snowstorm. A guy was trying to pull around me, slid on the snow/ice and hit into my passenger side door. It really and truly was an accident. He was all apologies. We exchanged info - he said to get a quote and he would pay for the damage."
"Well, the car I was driving at the time was a crappy old Ford worth maybe $500. But, I went to a body shop, got a quote on the repair and it was $900. I faxed it to him (this was back in the 90's, LOL) thinking he'd tell me to go through the insurance company and just have the car totaled out."
"To my surprise, I had a bank check for $900 from him in my mailbox three days later. Now, I already owned another car, so I pocketed the $900, sold the smashed car for parts for $300 and ended up with $1200 on a car that was worth only $500 before the accident. I was very glad that he ran into me!"
– Deleted User
Only Feet
"I have a friend who sells pictures of her feet. In heels. Barefoot squishing cake. In mud. She charges extra for special requests. Has strict ‘no go’ rules. Never shows anything above the calf so she can’t be identified (no tats). All proceeds go to her kid’s college fund. Has made enough to fund a PhD."
– NotACrazyCatLadyx2
The things people do for money! But, I guess it works for her!