
Laughing is a key ingredient to survival. You gotta have a few deeply glorious laughs every now and again. I love a good laugh, honestly we all do. Life was hard before COVID and now it's nearly impossible. And those times when we can let loose the tears because of something funny, can relieve any and all stress.
What I especially love are the laughs attached to a moment or a memory. The laugh that never gets old and you'll still be chuckling about beyond the grave. They are the true life savers. Who can relate? I hope everybody.
Redditor u/29t03jwies needed some reasons to smile and guffaw, so they asked:
What was something that you made you laugh uncontrollably?
I've been blessed with many memories. So I have a deep well of hilarity to tap into. Where to begin? Movies, tv shows, school, job, the list goes on...
Bob?
"The dude who just asked how much deeper the ocean would be if we removed all the sponges."
"Mom whyyyy???"
"When the toddler danced in on her dad's BBC interview. And proceeding to knock out books on her dad's bed, which was made as if it was a desk. And the baby strolling in, finished with the mother SLIDING her way in and hustling the kids out. The toddler shouts "Mom whyyyy" as she is towed out. Love this clip."
I'm Broke
"This needs a smidge of setting up and is rather non-PC... i'm disabled and rely on a wheelchair to get around anything but very short distances. Chatting with two friends over voice chat online... discussion turned to buying something... I replied with "can't afford it, I'm broke."
"Instantly, one of the other two guys said 'of course you are, that's why you're in a wheelchair' 5 minutes later we stopped laughing. not a word was spoken in that time... we just fell about barely able to breathe properly... even now, a couple of years later we still laugh when the story is told."
- SDLRob
In my face...
"In a boardroom in New York for a high pressure meeting with a dozen executives. A finance pricing exec had previously messed up a contract with the Siemens corporation and was getting hammered not to screw up this current deal we were working on. He had enough and announced "I'm getting really tired of having Siemens thrown in my face!". I absolutely lost it while all the others sat straight faced. Still makes me laugh."
Those are cute moments. But can they top the best "Golden Girls" episodes? I'm not so sure. I mean, just pick a Rose story and you'll be destined to smile.
Thank you Alex
"Celebrity Jeopardy on SNL. One of the categories was Japan-US Relations. Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery read it as "Jap-anus" relations. I laughed so hard for so long I thought I was going to pass out."
Louder
"The announcements for vocal talent on the Mario movie."
"The reveal that Toad would be played by Michael Key, which was followed up by the reveal of Seth Rogan as Donkey Kong was the greatest moment in human history."
Pleased to... what?
"That Bondulance tweet always gets me going. (Not that I am on Twitter!) It's funniest in its original tweet format. https://mobile.twitter.com/thepunningman/status/539714048246697986?lang=en
- The bond's Name. James Name.
- Pleased to… what?
- Bond Name's the James.
- Are you alright?
- Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance." PositiveRequirement4
Not so Sturdy
"One time in high school, while on the phone my friend decided it would be funny to try and knee me in the butt but to his surprise my skinny, boney butt is a lot more sturdy than his knee, I felt nothing, he on the other hand was on the ground with a swollen knee, in pain unable to walk or get up from the pain."
People Share Dark Secrets From Their Profession The Public Doesn't Know | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes secrets are an integral part in making magic. Though many professions withhold truth from the public, some things we'd prefer to know. Do we really...What a day...
"When I was about 13, I was at the dinner table with my parents, grandmother and little brother (11). While eating, my bro kept farting every 20 seconds, and me being the child I am I was laughing like crazy! It came to a point where I couldn't breathe so I asked him to fart quietly."
"I then heard a small squeak coming from his chair and I lost it. Once I calmed down, I asked him to go to the toilet to fart. He did so and ripped the biggest piece of echoing thunder I have ever heard. I was choking on my steak and took my food upstairs. What a day."
Swiss?
"One time I went to a buddies house because he texted me to swing by. Came in about 20 minutes, and he was passed out on the couch with a half eaten block of cheese on his lap. To this day 9 years later it's still the funniest crap I've seen."
- TR3V89
I love Jude...
"My friend was struggling to remember the name of a movie for several hours during in a hang-over pizza breakfast in bed. We're in the middle of a completely different conversation and she blurts out "Jude Law is a disabled man!" After the laughter subsided we were finally able to guess the movie from that clue."
Party Pooper
"Buddy of mine crap himself while passed out at the bonfire at a party (theater kids, they get wild) he drank and smoked more than he could handle, likely because he wanted to fit in. When someone came and told me I dropped to the floor and laughed for a good 10 minutes."
"Once we composed ourselves we cleaned him up ( I disposed of the crap) and put him in bed. When he asked why he was wearing different clothes in the morning we told him he had puked on himself and never said another word. Guy was a real party pooper."
Under the Table...
"When my daughter was two years old she loved playing hide and seek. I'd count to ten and then come looking for her, and I'd make it fun by searching around even though I knew she was behind the curtain or behind the couch because she'd be giggling a bit. I walked into the kitchen and loudly say "now where oh where could (my daughter) be?" and then I heard "I'm under the table."
- kitjen
"Yup. Only did shrooms twice. First time, felt nothing, probably got ripped off. Second time, my cousin and I spent probably four or five hours just sitting in his basement laughing our butts of at absolutely nothing. I don't remember why I started laughing, but I remember we both tried to express to each other that we had no idea what was so funny, and then that seemed like the funniest thing ever and I was laughing even harder."
A doe...
"When I was a kid a doe wandered onto my street and my friend and I were staring at it. My friend sneezed and scared the hell out of it and it bounded face first into the side of an RV, spazzed out trying to get back up with it's legs flailing in every direction, and bounded away in comically high leaps. I laughed so hard I fell over and skinned the hell out of my elbow."
A Good Grin
"When I discovered I had accidentally left the vibrator in my laundry room that my girlfriend had given me as a joke. Most people leave a socks not vibrators. It went missing but I noticed some old ladies in my building grinning mischievously. I told my friends they laughed hysterically with me."
2 MINUTES!!!
"My family was all getting together at my parents house. Me and one sister were already there, our youngest sister just arrived. Older sister goes upstairs to get something, leaves the rest of us in the kitchen. I hear the younger one go "I'm not really sure how to open this..." and the next thing I knew, I'd been shot point blank in the chest with a champagne cork."
"Sister walks back into the kitchen to both me and my mom on the floor in tears laughing while our other sister is panicking holding and over flowing bottle dripping everywhere. "I WAS GONE FOR TWO MINUTES WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED" It was another few minutes before we could explain ourselves."
Out of Class
"In biology class in high school, a friend nudged me and pointed to the skeleton in the room."
"Someone had placed its pointer finger in its mouth and positioned the other hand on its pelvis, like where a belt buckle would be. I could not contain my laughter and no one else thought it was nearly as funny as me. My teacher was not pleased and I was almost kicked out of class."'
I love cheese. I almost choked to death laughing on cheese. One hasn't lived until a near-death "cheesing."
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Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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