Every Airbnb host takes an inherent risk. Sure, the company has some safeguarding measures and a review system that dissuades awful behavior, but some people are still just going to have at it.
In opening their living space--shared or separated--a host gambles on humanity. Airbnb hosts wager that human nature is inherently good, conscientious, and generous. Or if not quite that virtuous, at least human nature is not outright dreadful.
And often, that wager is accurate. Many airbnb hosts go years with largely positive hosting experiences.
But when the sample size gets large enough, a whole world of temporary lodgers is bound to yield some terrible behavior. We're talking lopped of limbs, destroyed property, and X-rated terrible.
A recent Reddit thread collected the worst of the worst.
"But I Want THIS One"
"I used to travel a lot for work and I would put my apartment up on Airbnb while I was away."
"My apartment has a bunch of closets and drawers which I used to leave empty and at my guests' disposal. However there is ONE closet in the bedroom which I kept locked cause it is where I keep my personal belongings."
"One time a guest left a bad review saying that the place had no storage space which I was very confused about until I got home and saw my closet: dude had tried to open it using brute force, the door was almost pulled off its hinges and the wood was chipped in some places. The door in question had TWO PADLOCKS, and the perfectly usable closet on the opposite wall was untouched."
Not a Smooth Entrance
"Rented out to a group of 4 girls. Turns out they were going partying everyday during their stay."
"I get called one day at 5am, Its the guard from my building telling me there's a passed out girl in the lobby's couch, puking and pissing herself. None of her friends had gone back to help her. Ruined the couch obviously."
"The next day they send me a message again, another one of the girls had sprinted to the building stairs and ALSO pissed herself."
Just Makin' Sure
"A friend of mine rented to a girl who was convinced that there were cameras hidden all around the unit. She dismantled the lighting fixtures, picture frames, medicine cabinets, remote controls, etc." -- HTwatter
"If you really think this to be so probable, why use AirBnB?" -- Amegami
A Downward Spiral From the Very First Moment
"We are live-in hosts, so we are present while guests stay in our spare room."
"A guest arrived and immediately announced that they had sh** himself during their journey. They then marked us down for cleanliness. Mate, you sh** yourself."
"Also a guest who 'found' a pair of my flip flops in a wardrobe that they should not have opened, then sh** over the bathroom floor, ruining my favourite flip flops in the process."
"ALSO, a guest who went out drinking for ten hours before checking in, meaning I had to collect them from the taxi, put them in bed in the recovery position, check on them when I woke up for work, then call the taxi company on their behalf when it turned out they'd lost their phone."
An Inverted Approach
"Carpets? Jizzed. Curtains? Jizzed. Dining table? Jizzed. Sink? Jizzed. Sheets? Somehow survived unjizzed." -- dudebg
"Is that bad aim or a performance piece?" -- cj_cusack
"See, it's all about subverting your expectations." -- CanadianJesus
The Site of a Local Celebrity
"Not my story but a friend of mine's. He has an apartment in London, an urban area with dense houses and population. The apartment he hosted has this window facing main street which people tend to assume its non-see-through but it's not."
"So the guy who stayed in it decided to sit in front of that naked and had a few beers, overlooking the great view. He must have fallen a sleep or something and everyone passing by the road just had to see this poor creature... It was all on SnapChat at the time I recall, LMAO..."
Exploiting the Moment
"Not my cabin, but in Tahoe they did something with Airbnb's where people could offer them to people affected by the paradise fire. My friends family out of the kindness of their heart opened their cabin, and someone who apparently hadn't even been affected by the fire, used a fake name, and they stripped the cabin of anything that could be seen as valuable."
"His grandpa's ice ax, snow shoes, all kinds of other old stuff like that. They even took ALL the pots, pans, silverware, plates, EVERYTHING."
A Risque Parade
"Creepy guy ordering sex workers. One came by, knocked on the front door at like 11 at night (not the correct entrance)... After I sent her the correct way, they began to argue loud enough for me to hear upstairs about their sugar daddy arrangement and how he couldn't trust her for whatever reason and asked her to leave I guess."
"30 mins later? Another f***ing one knocks on my front door.... One stars all around. Gross."
"My friends' airbnb guest taught their kitten to meow once, and then the quietest sweet needy cat turned LOUD and needy. 'Twas a curse that kept on giving long after he left." -- stink3rbelle
"The cat just learned to use his words is all" -- _igmar_
"I'm not old enough to rent a home but this comes from my dad. Short and simple, when we came back home we found a lot of blood in the kitchen, and a cut off thumb. And my dad's bedroom smelt like 'someone had sex for at least 2 hours' " -- Storyteller50873
"I mean leaving some trash might make sense since you don't need it anymore, but a thumb..?" -- roadkilled_skunk
"He literally just left it and I forgot to add this detail, but, we burnt it" -- Storyteller50873
"Dude stole my $120 sneakers and broke my tv" -- ishmoo21
"You're lucky, at least the guy didn't sh** his pants." -- Jack_is_a_RockStar
"I'm curious about the pair of shoes , let us know haha" -- AngelRivera0
A Laundry List of Horror
"I worked in a call center that handles some of Airbnb's customer service. So, one guest murdered 2 people in the host's home and got arrested there."
"Another guest was from a culture that eats iguanas and barbecued up a 7 year old girl's pet iguana to serve to the family as thanks for hosting him."
"Another guest filled a mug with human SH** and left it in the host's microwave."
"You really lose all faith in humanity working in customer service call centers."
"My partner looks after an AirBnB for his friend..self catering only, the house is an 1800s big country house...it is used primarily for large get togethers and parties. Most guests are great and clean up well to get their deposit back."
"A group stayed and left the place pretty messy. But we couldn't figure out what the smell was."
"Turns out they left a full PIG in a rubbish bag under the kitchen table. They tried to cook a pig on a spit and basically left it's mainly raw corpse under the table. Every toilet was destroyed too."
"Must have eaten the semi charred meat on the outside of the pig when drinking without realizing that it was F***Ing RAaaw (sorry Gordon Ramsey)."
Shrapnel From a Clam Bake
"My mum did this. She had some people from out of country come stay."
"They moved the furniture around, swapped and moved mattresses, left a massive pile of dishes in the kitchen, the bathroom was all buggered, and they must've been cooking and smashing clams or oysters shell in and around the bbq outside."
"I went over to help my mum out a little after work for a bit, but it was a 2 day minimum cleanup job she had to do. Mum even had to bring in a cleaner lady to belp as well."
Needless to say, the people who stayed didnt get their deposit back and got a file reported on them."
One Guest Good, One Guest Terrible
"Not a host, was a guest. We stayed in a carriage house that was split into 2 apartments in Savannah. The host was the most wonderful southern personality I've ever encountered."
"Around 3am I woke up to a loud banging noise, like someone trying to break down a door. It got loud and louder, and eventually sounded violent. This went on for 20 minutes before my gf got out of bed and politely asked the neighboring guests to be quiet. They remained quiet for another 20 minutes and then they were at it again. This time much louder."
"Drunkenly they locked themselves out and decided that breaking the door down was their only option. The next morning when we left, the deadbolt was knocked out, the entire door frame was stripped off and the door was smashed to bits."
"We felt so bad for the host, it was going into a holiday and she had to cancel the next guests stay because of the damage. Stupid drunk college kids."
An Unapproved Banger
"My parents recently had an incident. The house was rented by someone using a false identity. They threw a huge banger at the house with underage guests and, according to neighbors, there were guests having sex in the yard."
"We ended up finding out after several guests broke into the neighborhood pool and broke the fence and a window at the community building leading to the cops being called."
"The house was trashed. Cigarettes and joints all over, alcohol spilled on the floors in nearly every room, broken cell phones, over $100 worth of food they bought left out. They broke into the locked cabinet that had cleaning surprise and extra linens in it."
"We found all of the kitchen knives in the bedroom closet as well as cut up bars of soap. Luckily the damage to the house was fairly minimal; screens from the windows popped out, small hole in the wall, broke the locked cabinet, pulled washing machine out from the wall."
"People are ignorant."
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.