Cheaters never win or prosper. Or do they? Those are especially pointed questions when it comes to matter of the heart. Being in a relationship is difficult. Just because you love someone doesn't mean the devil still isn't beguiling. We're not perfect. I love vodka, but I don't pretend rum isn't out there. I just have to commit to not imbibing. ;)
Redditor u/tofuandvegantendies wanted to see who was willing to discuss the times they've strayed from the path of righteousness in relationships by asking... [Serious] People who had an affair and got away with it: what's your story? Do you feel any guilt?I've had several serious relationships in my time. I've cheated on a few, I've been cheated on and I've been the person who was cheated with. And although it felt good in the moment, the aftermath always left me feeling shame. Because I knew I was better than that. Who can relate?
Sorry
Sorry Dog GIF by swerkGiphyI have cheated on My now Ex-girlfriend and got away with it obviously because it was a long-distance relationship. And I did it with my now ex-best friend (M) and I was 17 and I do feel guilty because it's not fair to cheat at all under any circumstances. I'm never doing it again and it never occurred to me that I'm doing anything wrong which is horrible. My heart goes out the people who are being cheated on I'm sorry.
In the Sunken Place
I met a beautiful young(er) woman online and we immediately hit it off.
In the time leading up to our first date, she was super excited about hanging out/fooling around with a "Dilf"/"Dad" (I'm single/no kids. I just look sad, old, and defeated), whereas I was super excited that I met someone beautiful/funny and that they were crazy excited to spend time with ME! (Shock, I know).
When we finally met, our hangout essentially dissolved into an affectionate, sloppy, naked, mess, to which my new "friend" decided to share that she had long-term BF/Fiance . -_-
At that point, my feeling could only be described as the sunken place from Get Out, where my psyche felt like it was sinking into a black hole of disappointment while I was watching my body/mind interact with this person.
I couldn't enjoy our time after that, and I felt numb to her affections. So the guilt was immediate. I think the feeling that I struggled with/ate away at me the most is knowing that the entire time leading up to this, I was upfront with my interests and intent (LTR) and that I spent all this emotional energy getting exciting/happy about meeting a potential partner, and then having to reconcile how everything was pretty much bull.
Eggs in the basket...
I was in a cycle of serial cheating for the majority of my dating life. I dated many, many people, but only one boyfriend ever found out about my infidelity (and promptly dumped me).
I compartmentalized every relationship and fooled myself into thinking I was doing it to avoid "putting all my eggs in one basket." In reality, it was because I never felt satisfied with the amount of validation and attention I received. I made impulse decisions and submerged myself into relationships, because self-introspection was too scary.
When I went off prozac two years ago, the truth of what I was and had been doing to myself and others hit me smack in the face. I was consumed by guilt and self-hatred and vowed to change my ways. I've kept that vow.
I currently have a serious boyfriend, and he is my first monogamous relationship. I'm in therapy, on appropriate medication, and have cut off toxic influences. I'm working through my traumas. I no longer talk to any of the people I cheated on, but I wish them the best.
Six Months In...
The affair was with me. She was an older married woman in her early 40's, and I was single and 27. We flirted for months in person and text, but I didn't think anything would come of it. Then it did for a year and a half. She tried to break it off twice out of guilt, and I completely understood, but within a week we were back in bed together. Third time was a charm, apparently.
Guilt?
sorry ups GIF by EnBWGiphyI wasn't the one who had an affair. She was the one that had an affair with me.
I had broken up with her officially but remained as friends with benefits. Our affair ended for good when she went public with her boyfriend now husband. I only found out later on how bad of a situation it was. Guilt? Yes, it ate me up for several years. I was unwillingly the other guy, Not once but twice, with two different women.
So it's not just me. I have to admit, I feel pangs of guilt now because... some of those stories are hot. They just are. That's why it's important to think about the consequences that will follow. For instance...
Be Alone
Sad Talk To Me GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyYes. Cheated once in my life. Was in the end of a long relationship that was to weak to end. So I cheated.
She didn't even notice even to I started to act weird. Didn't feel fair the either my SO or the person I was cheating on. So I ended the relationship and a couple of weeks later ended it with the person I cheated with. Kinda figured I needed to be single.
Poor Guy
The guy was in a toxic relationship with a girl who pressured him to put a ring on her straight out of high school. She was an absolute witch to him and refused to get a job citing mental health issues while he was working his butt off trying to support the two of them.
I met him online and we hit it off really well. I knew enough about the situation with his fiancee to constantly pressure him to just cut it off with her.
He wouldn't cut it off but the two of us graduated to friends with benefits for awhile before toning it back down. I have 0 remorse for the affair.
Later I got married and a little after that he finally broke it off with his fiancee and moved in with a new girl who actually treats him like an equal. I'm happy with the outcome.
I Loved Her
I was 28. My girlfriend and I were long distance. She in TN, me in MA. I met a girl online and we talked. She ended up coming over 1 weekend and we had sex. I never told her I had a GF. She did have a BF. He found out and broke up with her after.
A week later I confessed to her. She stayed with me. 2 weeks later I broke up with her and broke her heart. For 8 years I was still in love with her.
I didn't want to date anyone else.
About 10 years or so ago I told her yet again that I was sorry for what happened. This was a decade after it happened. She forgave me.
I've never cheated on a relationship since.
But wait... it gets worse...
My brother in law is engaged and has three kids, he had three affairs, real messy when it came out, three times we had to take the kids to keep them safe, three times we had to support my sister, three times the police came out.
They're still together in an unhappy relationship, He had his affairs when working away from home... guess where he is now?
100% that guy doesn't feel guilty and is peed with us because we have denounced him as a family and refuse to let him into our homes after everything he's done, to my sister and his kids, and the poor girl he had the affair with.
if I told the full story, I'd have to stop thirty times to say 'but wait, it gets worse'
He had affairs during covid, one of his kids is extremely vulnerable, he wrote the girl love letters blaming my sister, he broke all his bail conditions stating he has to stay away from my sister, the affair only ended because the girl broke it off with him, he still continued to pursue, promising he can change, that he wants her... he's such a toxic person... theres so much more...
He 100% got away with it all.
Forget You
Whatever Shrug GIF by MOODMANGiphySomeone I met up with was cheating on her husband with me.
I felt horrible for him as she was talking crapabout her husband. Like that's all my worth was to her was basically a "freak you" to him.
Cheaters never prosper, we've circled back. In the end, it's better to just be honest. Usually cheating is a red flag that means something bigger is wrong in the relationship. Start looking there. And remember... think first! Consequences abound.
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"What is something most people think only men do, but actually women do as well?"
Get ready for some misconceptions to be turned completely upside down.
Time For Tootin'
"For years I thought ladies didn’t fart. My mom told me that so it had to be true. It didn’t matter that I was a girl and farted. I thought there was just this magical age where girls turned into ladies and stopped farting."
"Apparently even when my mom did fart, I’d whip my head around and go 'ewwww dad!' Mom found it hilarious, dad not so much. Then one day I was in the bathroom with my mom (cause who trusts a four year old for longer the two minutes by themselves?) and I heard it: The quiet mythical fart from a lady."
"Oh Lordy, I told everyone! Everyone needed to know that ladies do fart, even my mom and she’s a lady! Dad found it hilarious, mom not so much."
– huskeya4
Cheeky Adjustment
"The weird side step."
"Sometimes when I wear really short shorts, my butt cheeks start 'eating' my shorts and I have to try my best to make a discreet weird side step to adjust it..."
– 5cm-persecond
Assuming The Position
"Keep hand in pants in a non sexual way when just chilling."
– Clafoutie
It's A Pleasure
"I grew up thinking women couldn’t masturbate only men could. In middle school I searched up women masturbating and bro my jaw dropped."
– Empty_DrPepperCan
Redditors share their thoughts about men and women keeping up with appearances.
Keep It Smooth
"Shave their face."
– Jewz1986
"I feel like women even keep this a secret from each other until you find out someone else does too or how common it is. Even still most women will rename it as “dermaplaning”. Such stigma around it."
– South-Housing-748
Checking The Fitness Progress
"Flex in the mirror."
– happy-sam1
Just Gross
"Be dirty and lazy."
– ThinkIGotHacked
"I've worked in customer service most of my life, and can easily say that women's restrooms are an absolute nightmare compared men's restrooms 95% of the time. Like seriously, just throw your tampons in the trash, and wipe up your blood please; you've got a whole roll of tp 6 inches from your elbow."
– GenericThomas
Cruising
"Check out women."
– winnisp
"Even straight women check out women. Source: am a straight woman… I think."
– Solid_Explanation769
Just a thought, or may two or three.
Chivalry Is Non-Binary
"I just said this on another thread but, having fantasies about saving people or sacrificing yourself for them."
– Seyorin
Revved Up Without Warning
"Get horny over nothing or randomly."
– False-Stage-3826
Zoning Out
"Seem to be in deep thought but is actually just gaping at a wall with zero thoughts. Alternately, may be thinking of somethings completely random. That meme about the wife thinking the husband is probably thinking if another woman, when in reality he's thinking of something random ? Ya, as a woman, I relate with that husband."
– abookishhuman
Locker Room Talk
"Talk and joke about sex. I can’t speak for everyone, but I find girls talking about it more than guys."
"Heck, at one point we were having a little bonfire, and one couple got up to leave. My friend’s wife asked if they wanted to play Among Us when they got home, and the other girl just turned around and casually said 'Nah, this is usually about the time we have sex.' To which my friend’s wife responds 'Oh yeah, we just did that this morning.'”
– Oldspice0493
The point is, all genders are capable of similar behavior that people have been socialized to exclusively associate with men.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
We are all equally guilty of being a little naughty, regardless of gender. So get over it.
People Confess The Most Soul-Crushing Thing Someone's Ever Told Them