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Adults Share What They Would Have Warned Their 14 Year Old Selves About Adulthood

Adults Share What They Would Have Warned Their 14 Year Old Selves About Adulthood

See, no one told you life was gonna be this way.

But what if this was all a dream and you could change it?

Reddit user OptimalProblemSolver asked:

If you woke up to find you were still 14 years old, and you had just been dreaming of what adult life might be like, how would you react?

The variety of answers is amusing.

Choices

Hard question. On one hand, if by some miracle I retained my current social intelligence and knowledge of how things work in the real world, I would work my ass off and not waste time in places where I know were not as good as I wanted them to.

On the other hand, making those same choices might not lead me to the people that I currently know and that have made an impact in my life. I find it hard to digest a life where I didn't meet these people. SirLeos

Timeless Wealth

If I woke up to be 14 in 1987 I'd probably convince my parents to invest $10,000 in Microsoft stock. It would become $1M by beginning of 1999. Then invest that $1M in Apple stock which would become $100M by 2015. And then invest those $100M in bitcoin and have 3 BILLION dollars by now...

And now I'm imaging how I would try to convince my parents that I'm from the future... Vahanik

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Subfriends

Confusion, relief and then regret because if it was all a dream then the people that meant a lot to me over the years weren't real. Im_not_that_angry

Could You Do It?

I'm 42 now. I don't think I could fake the stuff that I pulled to get through my high school and college years.

I'd probably walk a lot more. My hometown doesn't seem as big as when I was 14. I'd go bother girls at other schools. Actually, I'd probably bother whatever we used to call cougars.

I'd use the free gym at school to get in shape instead of doing it because my dad wanted me to do it. I'd meditate. I'd be stuck without a car but all that free time. I'd definitely get more into playing guitar and earning money for a used car, so I could leave my hometown faster.

But yeah, good kid and all that? Can't fake it again. I'd do the few things I really cannot do now:

-Hang out with my mother's father and help him get over my being a half-breed by working on soldering with him. He died when I was 16 and I feel like I knew him better long after he was gone.

-Hang out with my father's mother and practice her meatball recipe with her. I can make her red sauce, I love making pasta in sardine sauce, and I make a decent lasagna. However I never got that chance with the bugnarole and I miss those meatballs every day.

-Hang out with my uncle Paul. I miss him so much. He would love my wife and son, but that wouldn't be germane. He lived to be 68 with six grandkids. -However his last three years were a nightmare. I miss that micromanaging beast every day.

-Avoid one of my aunts. I couldn't bear to look at her, knowing what she would eventually do to my grandma and what that did to Paul. pseydtonne

Loved Ones

I would run downstairs and hug the living hell out of my parents, who've both since died. fweng

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Take Your Brain

That depends on if I get to retain the "knowledge" from the dream. If yes, I'm somewhat bilingual, much more confident, likable, funny, considerate and caring, so I'll get my life together at a young age. If not, I'll probably f*** up everything the same way all over again, but ill still be glad I woke up from this nightmare. TheZiegensauger

Not The Homework!!!

I would scream because now i got to do that soul grinding homework again. Anansi3003

Forlorn Advice

Don't smoke cigarettes, don't drink and drive, sex without birth control is for stupid people who eventually become serious teenage parents (condoms are cheap and pulling out doesn't count as birth control), it's ok to say no to things that make you uncomfortable or upset, if you're on the fence about something then try it because you'll regret the "what if" more than the failure in most cases, don't mistake abuse for love (sounds dumb but easy to do as a teenager), appreciate your family (assuming they're not abusive or anything like that), have fun, you are a worthwhile person who deserves to be loved. funkyb

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Bleak Future

You were dreaming of what life might be like as an adult, not the future. So you buy stock in Apple, but Apple fails as a company to the giant tech giant Microsoft. Then you decide to invest in Netflix but it barely gets off the ground and Blockbuster merges with Hollywood video and becomes a media conglomerate.

But you're not worried because you still have your ace in the hole. You invest your life savings at 18 into bitcoin.....but it crashes to be completely worthless to the point where nobody will buy it off you for pennies. egnards

Not Fade Away

I'd be destroyed. My wife, my home, the family we've built together, just a dream....

How would I ever grow to love anything, terrified I'd just wake up again? The_Foe_Hammer

No Regrets

I have few regrets. I have had rough times, poor choices, falling outs, and falling all ins. I have sunk fortunes into stupidity, and squandered talent to spare. I've also laughed and cried and shared and received. I have loved.

If it was indeed not a forecast and a guiding path with warnings, but instead a dream of a life balanced on a razors thin line of choices, I might just snap right there. I would make the mistakes all over again if it lead me to here, but it would be hard not to change things for fear it would break it all. What if not having that one fight that ledt you both raw and hurting some 18 years ago is actually the moment that forged the steel of your marriage's blade and you never realized it?

Oh, god, it's terrifying to think about. TheSpanxxx

Give Me A Chance

F*** yes, a DO OVER? I'd learn to respect and love myself more - emotionally and physically. I wouldn't let the words of the bullies weigh me down. I wouldn't eat my emotions. I'd join track and field because fitness keeps me sane these days. I'd put down the fucking ADD pills my parents put me on when I was 10 and learn to adapt early on (got off them last year at the age of 25 and it has been one of my biggest struggles/accomplishments). I'd embrace the f*** out of life, especially knowing how much easier it was it back then. ShineInThePines

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I Wish...

Part horrified - 14 years old me was awkward, it was the worst of my bullying, and well even without that teens years are bad.

Part relieved because the number of times I wished I could go back as a teen, with less responsibilities, less dire consequences for my mistakes, and mostly I can correct some of my biggest mistakes like starting to smoke, not learning to drive young, and choosing the wrong career (and thus elective in HS, and majors in college). shrekine

A Clear Solution

So, so much relief.

First thing Id do is Id dump my (then) boyfriend SO fast. Life would be pretty good if I could do that before age 17 or so. cmerksmirk

A Happy Solution (tw: suicide)

i would probably cry of happiness, and then defeatist 14 year old me would deny [my current living situation] was even a possibility for my future and cry of sadness again. at 14 i was attempting to end my life every so often and had a bad self harm problem. i certainly did not think life would get better after adulthood.

now as an adult i work in the mental health field and have had to talk to suicidal 14 year olds on a fairly consistent basis over the course of my career. 14 year old me never would've thought i would grow up to help people who hurt as much as I did. I was actually convinced I would die by my own hands before the age of 30.

Nope, still here! F*** you, suicide! RatherBeRaving

Important Advice

Id tell myself that finding a boyfriend isnt the most important thing in the world! You be you. DaniWatson91

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Worst Fears Confirmed

This would be a very mixed bag for me. On one hand, I'd be relieved knowing that my future bf/best friend was still alive and would be able to maybe do something more, could make better decisions and not end up with the abusers or with a crazy history of spending 10+ years with people I never saw the faces of, could turn out a lot different and avoid the pain.

But then I'd be back in hell where my depression was taking over, trying to deal with a drugged up mom and handling my siblings on my own, going through the losses I remember all over again and possibly never meeting the people I have now and love dearly.

And if I couldn't save myself from the future, if my decisions were the same? I'd probably either kill myself or find a way to block out everything until I reached my mid 20's. I never want to go through that again.

Bonus: As a note, as someone who suffers from disassociative issues from PTSD and a history of abuse, this is a real fear for me and my partners can attest that I have to ask them from time to time if the time and place we are in is real, that I'm not just dreaming and going to wake up in the trash covered hell of abuse I spent years in, or other dark places. I genuinely struggle some days distinguishing reality from my own memories and rationalizing what is real. nyvz

Unfulfilled

Total devestation. I love my life. I have an amazing wife and a truly wonderful toddler. If I woke up and they were gone, I'd want to be gone, too. Haquistadore

New Chance

Personally I'd relish the chance to not have to go through what I have. Maybe things would be different, y'know? I don't know your story but in some cases you don't necessarily have to live through it again. Before killing myself I'd definitely go live with my Grandma and attempt to live a much nicer life away from my parents. KangarooBeStoned

To The Point

I'd come out of the closet sooner. Meskaline

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Final Thought

For everyone else whose reaction was "relief," maybe consider how you would react if you continued living the way you are now for another 5, 10, 20 years- however you imagine that happening.

Then suddenly on a Thanksgiving night, without warning, you wake up. It's you, as you are now. You're [current age]. The last years didn't happen at all. What do you do? How do you change? Instead of waking up as a 14-year old, as an experiment, try waking up as your current age. This is your second chance, happening right now.

I think sometimes we know a lot about ourselves that we don't confront directly, because it's uncomfortable and scary. This post is making me think about how I'm living, in new ways. Gonna do a lot of journaling before bed.

To answer the question: I would be so happy- would hug my dog, my grandma, would sit on my back porch before we moved. Would have dinner with my parents. Would think long and hard about God. I would be scared, but exhilarated, and weights would be lifted and added on my shoulders in about equal proportion. I would write everything down. fresh_owls

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.