I can't say I had any questionable toys as a kid, but I did have this awesome wooden bus that I could put marbles into and they'd pop out of other holes. It was awesome. Other people though - played with some strange stuff, like a mad scientist lab toy or faceless dolls, which are just... no, just no.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This pooping dog toy.
I had this toy dog that you could feed these little brown pellets. It pooped out the pellets so you could feed them to the dog again.
Mr. Banana Man sounds like a horror movie.
My sisters and I had this Mr. Banana man during all of our childhood. I remember my younger sister chewing on it when she was teething and watching it squeak. It wasn't until 15 years later that we all realized it was a dog toy. We always referred to him as Mr. Banana man.
Funny thing is, we never owned a dog.
Admit it - you miss these.
Fake cigarettes. They had a reflective red foil in the end and some kind of powder in them so that they blew smoke. Also, chocolate cigarettes lollies. Little sticks of chocolate wrapped in tissue paper, looked like cigarettes.
Fake food looked delicious.
I had a foam piece of toast and a plastic chicken nugget. They had conversations, went to the mall, did grocery shopping, and had fights. The toast had bite marks all over it because I was teething.
I want to play space chickens.
My 4 year old son has a fake roast chicken. Like a little plastic toy that looks like a whole roasted Cornish hen or something. He calls it a space chicken and he throws it at people and yells SPACE CHICKENS!
Don't lie - you want this.
I had this weird mad scientist/torture laboratory. There were figurines with the mad scientist, his Igor assistant and a bunch of other weird looking people. There was a table where the figurines could be strapped in and then you pushed a button and it made electricity noises like it was zapping the person. Then there was this structure where you could hang a figurine by chains and another probe thing that you could stick into the Igor looking guy and he would scream. It had machines that would light up and make lab noises.
Looking back it's actually a really creepy toy for a company to make. Just a kid sitting their torturing and performing experiments on tiny humans. But I remember I loved playing with it, I loved science and spooky stuff and this lab was like one from Scooby-Doo or something, I even took it to school for show and tell.
I've tried to find pictures of it but I don't even know the company that made it as I got it from a garage sale. I wish I still had it.
My parents gave me a 24" machete when I was 6 or 7. We lived in tropical climate, so weeds and overgrowth were a constant problem. I spent many years of my childhood happily hacking weeds, and occasionally my mother's garden, pretending the offending greenery were monsters or other vile creatures worthy of being dispatched. I'm sure my parents are tickled with how much free yard care they got out of that cheap machete.
I used to fill rubber gloves with water and then pretend they were squid friends. 😂 My parents wouldn't let me keep them more than a day though.
Fun fact: all dolls are creepy. No exceptions.
Whats-her-face dolls. These were literally faceless dolls and you were supposed to give them a new face (you could draw or use these little stamps that they gave you) and you could erase their face and do it all over again. I loved them when I was little, but when they're faceless.. creepy little things they were.