Adults Share The Dumbest Lies They Believed As Children
Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

It's funny to look back as adults to when we were kids, to imagine all the things we might have believed.

Maybe it was a lie we heard on the playground, or perhaps it was something our older brothers or sisters told us. The way the world works was new, foreign, and strange to us at the time.

So if someone told you that if you counted the stones around Stonehenge you died? You'd probably believe it.

Why wouldn't you?


Reddit user, AfterIsIsIsIsIsWas, wanted to know what you were confused about as a kid when they asked:

"What were the dumbest lies you believed when you were a kid?"

Your parents love you.

Don't ever forget that.

Especially when you discover how often they lied to you growing up.

The Magic of Imagination

"Lost my stuffed animal (a white dog) in the airport in Miami when I was 5. It was my favorite and I was really sad about it. A few weeks later my mom presented me with a brown dog that otherwise looked exactly like the white one I’d lost. She said the workers at the airport had found it and mailed it to us, but he got a tan because he was in Florida. Bought it hook line and sinker for a few years. Tan dog is now my son’s and he’s a big fan :)"

thallomys

They Can See Everything

"That our entire house was covered by cork-sized security cameras and that my parents could see my every move."

exeL4n

"My kid has convinced herself of the same thing and always randomly asks “what am I doing right now?” From across the house"

supremechev

Science!

"As a kid I had a strangulated hernia, which left me with one testicle. My dad told me if I ever had kids they would be all boys or all girls cos each testicle is for each sex. Believed it for years."

rev667

Down, Down You Go

"That the draining sound of the water in the bathtub was a monster that would suck you in as well. A lie made to get me out of the bath."

Roefl

Clever Way To Get Kids To Read More

"When I was a kid I asked my dad if reading enough books really could give you Telekinesis... (Matilda)He said yes. I spent many years after that thinking I just wasn't doing enough"

seeyouinthesun

Don't Pull Back The Curtain

"When I was a little fellow my parents used to told me when you smoke you'll die instantaneously. Unfortunately they forgot this at a campfire organized by our former neighborhood and smoked a cig. I remember I was desperately trying to stop them and cried all the time, because I thought they're both about to die."

Kojobu

Siblings are supposed to be the best friends you're born with.

Right?

How Is This Legal?

"I could not understand how all the deaths scenes in war movies seemed so realistic. So, I asked one of my older brothers how they did it. He proceeded to tell me that they empty out state prisons in the area the movie is being made, dress them up and give them guns and tell them that if they survive the filming then they get to leave jail after. I was told that at around 7 and I believed it till I was around 10."

DocBak1

Don't Count The Stones

"My sister told me that if you count all the stones of Stonehenge you will die. I still don't know how many stones there are in Stonehenge."

Sardonnicus

"This is technically true. It has no relation to when you will die and, if you don’t count the stones, you will also die but your sister wasn’t wrong."

schiznats

*tap *tap *tap

"My older brother pranked me once. I had watched a kids' TV show (I think it was "The Electric Company") that featured a guest star who was a tap dancer."

"My brother convinced me that tap dancers made their tapping sounds -- not with their feet -- but with their mouths."

"I spent the next several weeks trying to tap dance with my mouth noises before my mom made me quit."

Hysterical_Realist

Seriously, what is it with family lying to you?

That's Unfortunate For All The Crabs And Lobsters Out There

"My grandmother told me that pinching gave cancer. I got pinched once at recess and yelled at the person because I thought they were going to give me cancer."

ivumb

"My mother told me basically everything she did not want me to have caused cancer. Salt - cancer. Maraschino Cherries - cancer. Anything with any sort of food coloring in it - cancer. Soda - cancer. Spending too much time on tv/computer/video games - cancer."

"Now pinching fell under things she didn't physically want me doing. Those didn't give you cancer, they gave you blood clots..."

silenttd

That's Some James Bond Stuff

"The button on your armrest on airplanes is the eject button"

"I found out it reclines your seat embarrassingly late"

Nrd4Life

"When I was a kid my dad always told me not to touch it because it was an "emergency" button. One time when I was like 5 we were flying to visit family and he fell asleep so I pressed it a bunch because I was curious. Nothing happened and I fell asleep thinking it must be broken. I woke up in a stroller with my parents upset because the plane had to make an emergency landing and I started crying because I thought it was my fault."

crowrager

Growth?

"Hiccups are symptoms of growth spurts…"

"The other day I had hiccups and I guarantee you I didn’t grow any 🤣"

- HorrorWhore214

The Secret Ingredient

"My father doesn’t cook almost anything, except french fries. The thing is he really makes great french fries, the best I’ve eaten."

"When I was around 7 or 8 he made me believe his secret ingredient was the oil he fried them in, which was made from kangaroo poop. He made it believable, because I recently heard about that coffee that the monkey-things eat then they sh*t it out."

"Dad went on to explain how he owned a kangaroo farm in Australia, the kangaroos being bred for the sole purpose of sh*tting, just like this coffee. The farm had a dozen employees which would process the poop into oil, which they would proceed to send all the way to Romania, just for him to make french fries."

"I don’t remember for how long I believed him."

- Conscious_Daikon_547

Leprechauns

"Once, this guy on my bus in first grade told me and my friend that leprechauns are real."

"I didn't believe him. He then told us that HE was a leprechaun, and then proceeded to give us a long and detailed story of how he gets away with being one."

"I didn't believe it at first, but he was such a good storyteller that in the end I was convinced that he truly was a leprechaun."

- tiffanymff

Leaving Without You

"My mom took me and my little brother Christmas shopping one time when I was four and he was three."

"She had to pick up a few items at a department store and we really wanted to hang out in the toys, so she said 'If you're not ready to go when i get back, I'm leaving without you.' Just a common mom warning."

"After we played for a while and looked for her for about 10-15 minutes (it was really busy) I assumed she left without us. She said she would, and I believed her. I told my brother she left and we just had to walk home."

"It was about 3 miles and so began our little version of 'There And Back Again.' "

"We were fearless, walking along Highway 66 and collecting all sorts of roadside bits like a wooden soda bottle box, a discarded muffler, an umbrella, an old shoe and various interesting rocks."

"About 1/2 mile from our house my Mom found us, cut across three lanes of traffic with the car and stopped us. She ran out of the car crying and half livid."

"I thought it was nice of her to come get us since we had misbehaved, but didn't know why she was so upset."

"A number of people at the store parking lot and driving on the road had told her of the little kids hiking down the road with their Christmas treasure."

"It was 1965."

- eris0xaa

Always Watching

"That everyone in our town had some connection to my mum."

"She told me everyone knew who she was and was looking out, so any inappropriate behaviour, actions, etc would eventually get back to her."

"I didn't do anything ever for fear her contacts would tell her."

"Yes, I went crazy once I moved out of home."

"Realizing I wasn’t actually being observed was too delicious, I over-did all the things I’d missed out on. I indulged in every vice."

"Yes, I’m now an insecure, anxious, perfectionistic, insomniac, surprise!"

- ReaganInc

Bob Barker

"My older brother told me that Bob Barker was over 200 years old."

"He somehow convinced me that Bob was still alive because of all the Price is Right money. It seemed legit at the time."

"He also told me that Bob Barker made all the Price is Right girls sleep with him, I guess that part could have been true."

- HomeCat_

Watermelon Tree

"When I was a kid, I loved eating watermelon."

"One day while I was eating, I accidentally swallowed a seed. I asked my elder sister about it. She said 'a watermelon tree will grow out of your head tonight.' "

"I was terrified about it and didn't sleep or eat watermelon for a while. Nevermind that watermelons don't even grow on trees."

"To this day, I think about this whenever I have watermelon (I still love them)."

- Maleficent_Hippo1716

Two Horses

"My mom told me 'Dos Equis' translated to 'Two Horses' - being young I absolutely did not understand my mother was pulling my leg."

"I justified it by connecting Equine and Equis and was like. 'Yep. Must be the truth.' "

"So I went repeating this information until someone who spoke Spanish corrected me."

"She thought it was pretty funny when I told her the story. The Xs all over the bottle make a lot more sense now."

- via6201

Mouth Taste

"I used to think that saliva or mouth taste (something like that, I’m not sure) would transfer through the water of water fountains."

"I was young, in 1st or 2nd grade, so whenever I’d go to get a drink I’d let it run for a few seconds before I actually drank anything. Especially when a kid I disliked drank before me."

"Funniest part is, if my crush at the time had just taken a drink from the fountain before me, I’d drink right away."

"I have no idea why or how I started believing this."

- AshTheInventor

It's okay to believe things as a kid.

Take that wondrous, open spirit into adulthood to learn as much as you can.

But, also, don't press the button on the sides of airplane seats.

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