
It's funny to look back as adults to when we were kids, to imagine all the things we might have believed.
Maybe it was a lie we heard on the playground, or perhaps it was something our older brothers or sisters told us. The way the world works was new, foreign, and strange to us at the time.
So if someone told you that if you counted the stones around Stonehenge you died? You'd probably believe it.
Why wouldn't you?
Reddit user, AfterIsIsIsIsIsWas, wanted to know what you were confused about as a kid when they asked:
"What were the dumbest lies you believed when you were a kid?"
Your parents love you.
Don't ever forget that.
Especially when you discover how often they lied to you growing up.
The Magic of Imagination
"Lost my stuffed animal (a white dog) in the airport in Miami when I was 5. It was my favorite and I was really sad about it. A few weeks later my mom presented me with a brown dog that otherwise looked exactly like the white one I’d lost. She said the workers at the airport had found it and mailed it to us, but he got a tan because he was in Florida. Bought it hook line and sinker for a few years. Tan dog is now my son’s and he’s a big fan :)"
thallomys
They Can See Everything
"That our entire house was covered by cork-sized security cameras and that my parents could see my every move."
exeL4n
"My kid has convinced herself of the same thing and always randomly asks “what am I doing right now?” From across the house"
supremechev
Science!
"As a kid I had a strangulated hernia, which left me with one testicle. My dad told me if I ever had kids they would be all boys or all girls cos each testicle is for each sex. Believed it for years."
rev667
Down, Down You Go
"That the draining sound of the water in the bathtub was a monster that would suck you in as well. A lie made to get me out of the bath."
Roefl
Clever Way To Get Kids To Read More
"When I was a kid I asked my dad if reading enough books really could give you Telekinesis... (Matilda)He said yes. I spent many years after that thinking I just wasn't doing enough"
seeyouinthesun
Don't Pull Back The Curtain
"When I was a little fellow my parents used to told me when you smoke you'll die instantaneously. Unfortunately they forgot this at a campfire organized by our former neighborhood and smoked a cig. I remember I was desperately trying to stop them and cried all the time, because I thought they're both about to die."
Kojobu
Siblings are supposed to be the best friends you're born with.
Right?
How Is This Legal?
"I could not understand how all the deaths scenes in war movies seemed so realistic. So, I asked one of my older brothers how they did it. He proceeded to tell me that they empty out state prisons in the area the movie is being made, dress them up and give them guns and tell them that if they survive the filming then they get to leave jail after. I was told that at around 7 and I believed it till I was around 10."
DocBak1
Don't Count The Stones
"My sister told me that if you count all the stones of Stonehenge you will die. I still don't know how many stones there are in Stonehenge."
Sardonnicus
"This is technically true. It has no relation to when you will die and, if you don’t count the stones, you will also die but your sister wasn’t wrong."
schiznats
*tap *tap *tap
"My older brother pranked me once. I had watched a kids' TV show (I think it was "The Electric Company") that featured a guest star who was a tap dancer."
"My brother convinced me that tap dancers made their tapping sounds -- not with their feet -- but with their mouths."
"I spent the next several weeks trying to tap dance with my mouth noises before my mom made me quit."
Hysterical_Realist
Seriously, what is it with family lying to you?
That's Unfortunate For All The Crabs And Lobsters Out There
"My grandmother told me that pinching gave cancer. I got pinched once at recess and yelled at the person because I thought they were going to give me cancer."
ivumb
"My mother told me basically everything she did not want me to have caused cancer. Salt - cancer. Maraschino Cherries - cancer. Anything with any sort of food coloring in it - cancer. Soda - cancer. Spending too much time on tv/computer/video games - cancer."
"Now pinching fell under things she didn't physically want me doing. Those didn't give you cancer, they gave you blood clots..."
silenttd
That's Some James Bond Stuff
"The button on your armrest on airplanes is the eject button"
"I found out it reclines your seat embarrassingly late"
Nrd4Life
"When I was a kid my dad always told me not to touch it because it was an "emergency" button. One time when I was like 5 we were flying to visit family and he fell asleep so I pressed it a bunch because I was curious. Nothing happened and I fell asleep thinking it must be broken. I woke up in a stroller with my parents upset because the plane had to make an emergency landing and I started crying because I thought it was my fault."
Growth?
"Hiccups are symptoms of growth spurts…"
"The other day I had hiccups and I guarantee you I didn’t grow any 🤣"
- HorrorWhore214
The Secret Ingredient
"My father doesn’t cook almost anything, except french fries. The thing is he really makes great french fries, the best I’ve eaten."
"When I was around 7 or 8 he made me believe his secret ingredient was the oil he fried them in, which was made from kangaroo poop. He made it believable, because I recently heard about that coffee that the monkey-things eat then they sh*t it out."
"Dad went on to explain how he owned a kangaroo farm in Australia, the kangaroos being bred for the sole purpose of sh*tting, just like this coffee. The farm had a dozen employees which would process the poop into oil, which they would proceed to send all the way to Romania, just for him to make french fries."
"I don’t remember for how long I believed him."
- Conscious_Daikon_547
Leprechauns
"Once, this guy on my bus in first grade told me and my friend that leprechauns are real."
"I didn't believe him. He then told us that HE was a leprechaun, and then proceeded to give us a long and detailed story of how he gets away with being one."
"I didn't believe it at first, but he was such a good storyteller that in the end I was convinced that he truly was a leprechaun."
- tiffanymff
Leaving Without You
"My mom took me and my little brother Christmas shopping one time when I was four and he was three."
"She had to pick up a few items at a department store and we really wanted to hang out in the toys, so she said 'If you're not ready to go when i get back, I'm leaving without you.' Just a common mom warning."
"After we played for a while and looked for her for about 10-15 minutes (it was really busy) I assumed she left without us. She said she would, and I believed her. I told my brother she left and we just had to walk home."
"It was about 3 miles and so began our little version of 'There And Back Again.' "
"We were fearless, walking along Highway 66 and collecting all sorts of roadside bits like a wooden soda bottle box, a discarded muffler, an umbrella, an old shoe and various interesting rocks."
"About 1/2 mile from our house my Mom found us, cut across three lanes of traffic with the car and stopped us. She ran out of the car crying and half livid."
"I thought it was nice of her to come get us since we had misbehaved, but didn't know why she was so upset."
"A number of people at the store parking lot and driving on the road had told her of the little kids hiking down the road with their Christmas treasure."
"It was 1965."
- eris0xaa
Always Watching
"That everyone in our town had some connection to my mum."
"She told me everyone knew who she was and was looking out, so any inappropriate behaviour, actions, etc would eventually get back to her."
"I didn't do anything ever for fear her contacts would tell her."
"Yes, I went crazy once I moved out of home."
"Realizing I wasn’t actually being observed was too delicious, I over-did all the things I’d missed out on. I indulged in every vice."
"Yes, I’m now an insecure, anxious, perfectionistic, insomniac, surprise!"
- ReaganInc
Bob Barker
"My older brother told me that Bob Barker was over 200 years old."
"He somehow convinced me that Bob was still alive because of all the Price is Right money. It seemed legit at the time."
"He also told me that Bob Barker made all the Price is Right girls sleep with him, I guess that part could have been true."
- HomeCat_
Watermelon Tree
"When I was a kid, I loved eating watermelon."
"One day while I was eating, I accidentally swallowed a seed. I asked my elder sister about it. She said 'a watermelon tree will grow out of your head tonight.' "
"I was terrified about it and didn't sleep or eat watermelon for a while. Nevermind that watermelons don't even grow on trees."
"To this day, I think about this whenever I have watermelon (I still love them)."
- Maleficent_Hippo1716
Two Horses
"My mom told me 'Dos Equis' translated to 'Two Horses' - being young I absolutely did not understand my mother was pulling my leg."
"I justified it by connecting Equine and Equis and was like. 'Yep. Must be the truth.' "
"So I went repeating this information until someone who spoke Spanish corrected me."
"She thought it was pretty funny when I told her the story. The Xs all over the bottle make a lot more sense now."
- via6201
Mouth Taste
"I used to think that saliva or mouth taste (something like that, I’m not sure) would transfer through the water of water fountains."
"I was young, in 1st or 2nd grade, so whenever I’d go to get a drink I’d let it run for a few seconds before I actually drank anything. Especially when a kid I disliked drank before me."
"Funniest part is, if my crush at the time had just taken a drink from the fountain before me, I’d drink right away."
"I have no idea why or how I started believing this."
- AshTheInventor
It's okay to believe things as a kid.
Take that wondrous, open spirit into adulthood to learn as much as you can.
But, also, don't press the button on the sides of airplane seats.
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Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.
There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.
In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.
And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.
So what do we do?
We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.
Let's hear some...
Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:
"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Life can change in an instant.
It can always change for the better.
Just ask any lottery winner.
Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.
Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.
You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.
Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:
"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
I have lived through a lot of bad days. But thankfully they've been one disaster at a time days. So I guess I'm lucky.
Horror
"A friend of a friend had his entire family killed overnight. He was from my college and was home visiting his family. His parents, siblings, and extended family were all there together. One night, while they were all asleep, his father got up, took out a gun, and went on a shooting spree. He then killed himself."
"Everyone except this guy died on the spot. When my friend visited him at the hospital, the guy was still in shock. He had no idea why his father did that. This was more than a decade ago, and I have no idea how he's doing now."
DeadOnDeparture98
The IRS Called
"Knew a guy who had a nice house, wife, 3 kids. Machine shop in his garage, Snap On tool truck, sign out front, great mechanic. Never incorporated, didn't pay taxes on his business, cash only. Took nice vacations, bought a boat, then a camper. Five years later, the IRS came. I don't know what they estimated he owed but they seized everything. He lives alone in a trailer now."
Nobody_Wins_13
2 at Once
"My mom’s dad and dad’s mom both died on the same day. Completely unrelated. We were pretty messed up for awhile. It was 2010. Mom's dad had emphysema (lifetime smoker) and was pretty sick for a few weeks. I was in college at the time and came home to be with him, because we knew he was about to pass. Dad's mom was in the nursing home, as she had had a stroke and also had dementia (she often thought I was my dad, she thought we were in the 70s, etc.)."
"She took a turn for the worst, and so my dad left the hospice my grandpa was at and went to be with her. The towns they were in were about an hour apart, so I stayed behind with my mom to comfort her when her dad passed. A few hours go by, and he passes peacefully (huge thanks to the hospice workers for their respect and grace during this time)."
"Within an hour or so of his passing, we get a call from my dad saying that his mother had passed as well. It was a terribly dark day in our family, and the next couple years for me in college were pretty much a blur. Thankfully, things got better in time and we are all doing well now."
She lost everything...
"Her husband left her after previously persuading her to remortgage their house to save his business and he's already made her take multiple credit cards out in her name. She lost everything. He did it the week after their youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He'd obviously been planning for years."
Ieatclowns
a black sheep...
"My cousin was in a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend died. She broke her back. When she was in the hospital she learned she was pregnant. It's been 16 years and we're still trying our best, she took an all too familiar path of drugs, burning bridges and more pregnancies."
"At this point she's fairly stable and clean as far as I know but a bit of a black sheep. Her mother has custody of all one of her kids. She has her youngest and seems to be doing good by her, but who knows. It's been hard on everyone, especially her mother and her brother."
Paradigm6790
Well this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm grateful for every moment I have alive.
Several lawsuits are filed...
"Here is multiple lives ruined in an instant. A friend was over at some other people house, drugs were involved. They had been playing with a gun. My friend points the gun at a girl, pulls the trigger and shoots her in the head. Girl dies, friend gets locked up until he turns 18. Parents at the house get arrested because they knew what the kids were doing. Friends mom goes into a depression and ends up getting evicted from her house. Several lawsuits are filed."
sentondan
Gone Forever
"It was me... got in a car accident and suffered a traumatic spinal and brain injury that I had no chance of surviving... a 7 vertebrae spinal fusion, yrs of physical and mental therapy... 18 yrs later and the pieces, though many forever gone, are finally coming back together."
2boneskuLL
A Bad Night
"He trashed his fathers vacation house with an axe before setting it on fire, stabbed the neighbor nearly to death, stole their car and then crashed it into a cop car so bad the cops were injured. He also got his girl pregnant, so once he is out of prison they're gonna start a family."
Dumbing_It_Down
"dangerous"
"Pregnant friend found out husband (43) was having an affair with young woman (19) who was a volunteer at their ecolodge. Friend had 'dangerous' pregnancy and had to spend a lot of time in bed. This betrayal destroyed their marriage, split the little town where they lived and caused two employees to quit because witnessing the affair going on was just too painful."
"She had a beautiful baby girl (to go with her other two girls, lol) and after the breakup was clinically depressed. Worked hard and got a divorce (she had a great lawyer); got the business back on track; beat her depression and now is planning a great vacation trip with her girls."
"Meantime, Dad has generous visitation but just 'hasn't gotten around to' buying a car seat so he can pick up the baby and for a long time asked my friend, 'Can you drop the girls off at my Mom's?'"
NoBSforGma
Lost it All...
"Recently, I know of a guy that had borrowed all his family’s life savings for the most part to participate in the whole game stop stock thing happening… he lost every penny of his money (credit card advances), and his parents retirement, and every other dime he could get… it makes me sick to even think of it."
Bangbangsmashsmash
Well those are A LOT of bad days. Good luck to all of you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.
But even the rich have their limits when it comes to frivolous spending before casting judgment on friends or colleagues.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Sasquatchfl asked:
"Rich people of Reddit, what's the craziest/most unethical thing you've seen people in your circle spend money on?"
Expensive experiences were a priority over prized possessions.
Live Sushi
"An ex worked for Dell in the late 90s/early 2000s. He was pretty high up and there were lots of partiers in his work circle. Went to a party hosted by one of the dellionaires and there was a body sushi girl. I don’t know what was paid to her, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen."
– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
Pissing Contest
"Paid a group of homeless guys to only use the bathroom on a competitors business. Eventually bought that place for a massive discount."
– Haboobalub
Let's Work Out
"My mother woke up one morning and said she felt she was way too fat and she wanted to get a treadmill. The treadmill wouldn’t be a problem, but then she saw where it would be and didn’t like the lighting. Fast forward 2 months later there’s a 40k outdoor gym built and connected to the house. She hasn’t used it once."
– Herrera5449_
Taking A Leap
"Travelled with a bunch of ex 'friends' all fairly wealthy."
"First trip to SE Asia together and as an ex-local I was a de-facto tour guide (despite not being there in over a decade)"
"They somehow found and offered a bunch of kids diving off cliffs to jump for spare change."
"They increasingly challenged each other to land their coins as close to the cliff base and small surrounding rocks for the kids to dive for."
– Satakans
It's about the finer things in life.
Expensive Party Gag
"A 3k ouija board from Gwen Paltrow's store. I didn't even know it was a thing until the dude brought it out. I really wanted to cut it up and see what it was made from. Looked nice don't get me wrong but the thing is basically a party gag. For 3 grand, it better summon a demon that's all I'm saying."
– con_this
Slow Burn
"$600 USD for a candle."
– Jeffranks
It's not always about the things you acquire.
Minor Inconvenience
"I know a guy who went to get a new drivers license and had to pay ~$100k in back parking tickets, then joked about it after."
"Apparently he couldn't get a permit to park in front of his house, so he just did anyway, and accepted like a $200 fine everyday."
– melodyze
For A Successful Election
"Not me, but I know a guy who crowd funded (read: threw a bunch of money into, then solicited more at a flea market) $80,000 toward his friend's DA election campaign. The guy won. So far, this has paid back at least $120K in avoided legal fees. I know some rich people. Most of them are more boring than you think. Hell, most of them drive Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans."
– KP_Wrath
The Lance Corporal
"I was stationed with a Lance Corporal who was wealthy beyond means after selling some of his patents. He owned and piloted four helicopters. Lived in a palatial waterfront house in Jacksonville, NC."
"The cheapest one cost 400K. That's the one he trained on. The most expensive was about 1.2 million. That's 1.2 million 1981 dollars. The two he's got now are about 5 million each."
"Had a floating landing pad out back moored to his dock and another landing pad in the back yard. Kept two helicopters and a Rolls inside his custom-built hangar at Norfolk International Airport."
"He drove a pair of Rolls-Royces. He also toyed with a 900K Miami-Vice type speedboat. He also housed and transported his squad to Camp Lejeune and back in a custom mini-bus."
– ApplicationConnect55
The dude was very giving and lived a very clean life. He'd fly us to Norfolk, pickup the car and we'd do our shopping and eating. Hop in a chopper and return home. He'd fly his fire team down to Miami on weekends. He kept a Limo there and wore a chauffer's outfit and did all the driving.
He bought a full-service and licensed pub in Northern Ireland. He lives there with his wife. Does a lot of charity work there. We still keep in touch."
– ApplicationConnect55
When there's plenty of money going around, there's no need to worry about a single thing.
That peace of mind is a luxury in itself.
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When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"

You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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