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People Break Down The Absolute Worst Movie They've Ever Seen

People Break Down The Absolute Worst Movie They've Ever Seen
Image by Alfred Derks from Pixabay

We watch movies to escape reality and be entertained.

But not all of them leave us feeling uplifted like Rudy or terrified like Scream. Some films are just horrifically bad.


Of course, the greatness of a film is subjective.

When it comes to cinematic disasters, one film comes to mind – Showgirls.

The campy erotic drama film directed by Paul Verhoeven was panned by critics and was the recipient of seven 1995 Golden Raspberry Awards.

However, its entertainment value cannot be ignored. Because viewing even the most contemptible films like Showgirls can make for a thoroughly riotous evening with friends and plenty of booze.

That said, Redditor MathYou69 asked strangers on the internet:

What is the absolute worst movie you've ever seen?

The Shark Attack

"Five Headed Shark Attack."

"Astute viewers may notice that the shark only has four heads."

"But just suffer through the first 30 minutes and you'll see that with literally zero explanation the shark's tail just turns into another head."

Passance

Backwoods Zombies

"Redneck Zombies. Everyone told me it was bad. I knew it was going to be terrible, but the production quality was like two kids in the backyard with mom's video camera. I turned it off within ten minutes."

Qurdlo

An Assortment

"Are we talking like, legit have a budget movies? Or filmed in the la river so they can avoid needing permits movies?"

"Roller Gator. I cant find the original, only the rifftrax version, which is streaming on prime, but geez is it bad. It's fun though. Has Joe Estevez. Did you even know there was a Joe Estevez?"

"Fun In Balloon Land. I still cant believe this exists."

"The wonderful land of oz. No way to explain it other than part time porn director in the 1960s puts his kid in a movie. It's flippin creepy too."

bobofogochi

The Worst Sequel

"Jeepers Creepers 3 gave me a whole new appreciation for Jeepers Creepers 2."

nimcau

"Jaws 4" – A Synopsis

"Jaw 4: The Revenge."

"You ever watch a movie so bad that it just slaps you in the every minute, and you won't turn it off because you think it's bound to get better?"

"Like, even if you didn't have a brain, just a spinal cord and a bucket of popcorn, you'd be going 'Whoa whoa whoa, I'm not a brain or anything but this, is a stupid movie.'"

"Let me tell you how it goes..."

"The woman in the movie has 3 people eaten by a shark in the same week. Out of an entire ocean of perfectly edible people, the shark only eats people in her family. So she slyly concludes 'The shark is obviously after my family.'"

"And the woman comes up with a plan, she says 'We're leaving town.'"

"And you're sitting there munching popcorn thinking 'Leaving town? Isn't that a pretty severe diversionary maneuver to avoid a fish? Why not just not go into the water? Wouldn't an apartment building protect you from the average shark? Because it's unlikely by the time that the shark gets out of the water, rents a taxi, climbs the stairs, gets to the door you'll likely sniff sniff smell fish and take the fire exit.' But no, the mother is leaving town."

"So where does she go, anybody know?"

"That's right, the Bahamas, other people with no actual lives at 2am."

"You're thinking 'The Bahamas? If the mother's afraid of a shark, why not just move to Canada?' Because it's unlikely you'll be on a dogsled and hear buudum... buudum... bom ba da de bom ba da de bom ba daaaa bom ba daaa."

"But no, she's moving to the Bahamas, an excellent place to avoid a fish, who would expect on in, ohhh.... the middle of the ocean."

"So when the woman is at the airport, the shark is there, watching her take off, and when the jet lands in the Bahamas, the shark IS ALREADY THERE. A remarkable achievement. No only has he uncovered their travel plans, but he has outrun a jet airliner."

"And that's when your spinal cord starts throwing popcorn at the screen going 'COME ON! I'm not a brain but that's a shark. Wouldn't an airplane be faster than a shark?' and the movie goes ''Well slap ordinarily yes but slap this is a stupid movie slap and in this movie slap fish is the fastest form of transportation *slap."

"Next time you have to go London to New York, rip up the concord tickets, hop a flounder."

</Richard Jeni - paraphrased from memory>

MattsAwesomeStuff

This One Sucked

"Dracula 3000. I saw it years ago and it still haunts me. I powered through but couldn't take much more when I got to the scene where Coolio crawls on all fours through dry ice smoke, hissing, in almost utter silence."

mycatechoismissing

Murderous Turkey

"Thankskilling."

"It's about a killer turkey and has a budget of roughly $30."

"My roommate and I tried shutting it off multiple times but just couldn't cause it was so oddly entertaining."

"Here's the trailer to this gem:"

"https://youtu.be/WOjSRoxc6mg"

MrShuggyConehead

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When I was in college, my friends and I went to Starbucks one December night. We had just taken the hardest of our finals and knew we did a terrible job and decided to go to Starbucks to cheer ourselves up.

One of my friends ordered a latte while my other friend and I ordered frappuccinos. The barista got super offended that we would have the audacity to order cold drinks on a cold night. She told us we should be ashamed of ourselves for making her make cold drinks on a cold night. Seriously!

I almost changed my order, but luckily, another barista came over to take care of us. As she put in our orders, she said the original barista we dealt with always judged people's orders and we should just ignore her.

This wasn't the last time we were judged by this barista, but we learned to ignore her opinions.

She is not the only person to get offended by something ridiculous or completely inoffensive. Redditors know this all to well and are eager to share their stories.

It all started when Redditor AdRealistic878 asked:

"What is the most ridiculous thing you've seen someone get offended by?"

A Greeting Is A Greeting...Or Not

"I had a boss get mad at me because when she said "Good morning" I responded with "Hello.""

"She got in my face and said "No.... I said 'Good morning'. Say it back.'"

"I didn't stay there long lol"

– isabelstclairs

"This reminds me of a time I was riding my bike early one morning. I was going up a steep hill, breathing hard, and a jogger running past me down the hill called out "good morning". I just nodded in their direction and continued my slog."

"The jogger stopped and yelled "hey, I said good morning!" I still can't understand the sense of entitlement, that somehow I owe them a verbal return of their greeting despite the obvious circumstances."

– FrightenedOfSpoons

"This reminds me of the first time I went backpacking. I was going up a steep subalpine mountain side on a trail that was basically a ladder made of rocks. I was breathing hard. Two men were coming down and gave a cheery “hello”. I said “hi” all redfaced and out of breath. One of them looked so offended."

– GogoYubari92

Not My Fault!

"When I worked at McDonald’s they discontinued the smartie McFlurry for a short time. When explaining to anyone who ordered one, you’d have thought I threatened their family or something with how offended people were."

– SarcastiKatt

Speak My Language

"I've seen people get very offended by a South Welsh accent. Accusing people of being racist and faking Indian accents when they're just speaking in their native accent."

"The internet is wild."

– Broshida

Freedom Of Speech?

"I was out for lunch with a colleague at a local pub and we were discussing a news story from the morning about a bus crash."

"A woman on a nearby table took great offence to this and stormed over to us and demanded we stop talking about it in public."

"We both just stared at her, not entirely sure if she was serious."

"She was."

"We carried on discussing it and she flounced out."

– ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

Just Trying To Help

"I politely and quietly told a woman on line at the pharmacy that the price tag was still hanging on her jacket sleeve. She went on a long loud rant about my bad behavior."

– VosTutZich

"This is why mom taught me Don't talk to strangers."

– UnicornSlayer5000

Spoilers

"I got yelled at for ‘spoiling’ the Tudors. Like my god."

– altdultosaurs

"Imagine being that uneducated that you think someone is "spoiling" the Tudors."

– narniasreal

"Making a joke about Ann Boleyn. Apparently, it was too soon."

"I wish I were joking."

– LadyoftheHounds

"Woah, people are still losing their head over it?"

– SpittinImageofLlama

This Is Nuts!

"Not me, but the Korean Nut Rage incident. The Vice President of Korean Air (daughter of the CEO) was in first class and got furious that she was served nuts (like the peanuts you get on a flight) in a packaged bag rather than a wooden bowl. She made the captain kneel and beg for forgiveness and hit him, then forced the plane to return to the gate since she'd just fired the captain. Crazy stuff."

– FancifulPeaches

Well, Obviously!

"Me growing a beard. According to my brother's mother-in-law, only junkies grow beards, and that's so they can hide their drugs in it. I kid you not!"

– Grunthos_Flatulent

Watch Out!

"I was standing with my trolley waiting & had a lady freak out “You’re going to hit my son!”. I wasn’t even moving so it was a huge overreaction, but I understood that her small son may be hidden from my view behind the trolley & she was making sure he doesn’t get hit when I do move whilst not realising he’s there."

"I looked for him but couldn’t see anything. She continued to freak out at me “Don’t hit my son!” & physically restraining my trolley which is not moving."

"It turned out she meant the adult male next to her scanning things at the self scan till. I wasn’t going to hit him anymore than any fully grown adult in the supermarket."

– stowberry

Don't Lose Your Hair!

"My kid has very curly hair. When said kid was about three years old, a random woman started berating me in public because my kid’s hair was curly. She was convinced I’d had it permed, and how horrible to do that to an innocent 3 year old. I was the worst parent ever. Apparently she’d never seen someone with naturally curly hair before?!"

– Frozen_Feet

Stay Seated

"Being offered a seat on a crowded subway. I offered a woman who was 30 years older than i was my seat . She flew into a tirade yelling nonsense."

– rayneglyons

Talk About An Overreaction!

"I’m a Vet Tech, and people will LOSE THEIR SHIT if you misgender their pets. Jesus Christ. 🤦🏻 The folks who get the most offended are:"

"1. The ones who have chosen to name their male dogs a classically effeminate name."

"2. The ones who have chosen to name their female dogs a classically masculine name."

"Had a guy walk into our animal hospital with his Briard a few weeks ago. Wasn’t a known client/patient, so we asked what the dog’s name was. He responded with “Joy.” Kept talking to the guy about our services when Joy put their paws up on the counter to look at us. I said, “do you have a question, sweet girl?” Dude recoiled like I’d just uppercut his dog through the ceiling and roars, “HE’S a BOY” before dragging the dog out the door in a huff."

– ItsStrib1978

Taylor Swift was right: You need to calm down!

man in black crew neck shirt making shushing gesture

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Man explaining weird theory
Photo by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash

We've all heard some things that sound too good to be true, but we've also certainly heard some things that were too weird to be true.

But as strange as they might sound, from weird scientific facts to things that people have done to animals that actually exist outside of a distant, mystical realm, there are some things that are simply, stranger than fiction.

Curious about others' takes, Redditor Former_Ladder9969 asked:

"What is a weird fact you know for some reason?"

The Draw of the Deck

"The King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache."

- MR_dizzaster

"He's also sticking a sword in his head."

- Uwumeshu

"He was shaving and missed."

- puneralissimo

Random Facts About Strangers

"Diddy, the music artist, doesn’t like the way towels feel on his skin. So instead of drying off like a normal person after a shower, he walks around his house to air dry instead."

"Why do I know this?"

"Because for some reason, this was a fact given during an old show on VH1 called 'Pop Up Videos,' where they would play a music video with random facts being shown throughout. I have zero idea why of all the vital things I should have stored in my memory, this was one that stuck after all these years."

- dabking24

Spacial Awareness

"Australia is wider than the moon."

- MrSatanachia

"I can't decide if I'm more amazed that the moon is actually way smaller than I imagined, or that Australia is way bigger than I imagined."

- 5Beans6

"This is my confusion, lol (laughing out loud)."

- TheTinyHandsofTRex

That's Commitment

"Crabs have a muscle that enables them to release their claw if they have to."

- Norwegianxrp

"It took me an incredibly long time to realize this means like… fully release it, like remove it from their body. I thought it just meant release the grip they have."

- wowowaoa

Mystical Representation

"The national animal of Scotland is a Unicorn."

- Batmans-dragon80

"Yes, that’s true. Mainly because we have so many of them roaming wild in the glens. Chasing the Haggi and avoiding Nessie."

- Bri1311

Education through Music

"Because of a song that used to constantly play on the radio I have it pretty well memorized that there are 86,400 seconds in the average day."

- Vanilla_Neko

"Because of a song on the radio, I learned that the minimum expectation for displays of love can be measured in 500 miles."

- Slight_Bodybuilder25

Where the Grass is Greener... and Newer

"There were no grasses on the earth when dinosaurs were here."

- Snowfl4ke85

"During the Jurassic and the Early Cretaceous, the higher flora was dominated by cycads, ginkgoes, conifers, and ferns. Other groups of plants included extinct seed plants with fern-like foliage. The exact origins of flowering plants are uncertain, although evidence suggests that they are not closely related to any group of modern non-flowering plants."

"Flowering plants underwent rapid radiation beginning around the middle of the Cretaceous period, and makeup around 90% of living plant species today. With the spread of these plants came the decline of previously dominant groups such as conifers. During the Cretaceous, ferns would also begin to diversify."

"The oldest known fossils of grasses are from the Early Cretaceous, with the family having diversified into modern groups by the end of the Cretaceous. The oldest large flowering trees are known from the Late Cretaceous, with the trunk having a preserved diameter of one-point-eight meters and an estimated height of 50 meters."

- UnexpectedDinoLesson

Weird Way to Say Hello

"Manatees control their buoyancy by farting. Toot toot, floaty sea cow."

- Plane-Vacation-1228

"Wait, so those bubbles you see on the water surface that signify their presence are...?"

- DismalDude77

Goals for Building the Longest Train...

"There's no maximum length to a train, you just add another engine."

- TrueGritt90

"That tracks."

- Snedro

The Smallest Philosopher

"That dead ants produce a pheromone that alerts the other ants that they need to move them to the ant graveyard."

"If a drop of this pheromone is placed on a live ant, it will take itself to the graveyard and stay there until the pheromone dissipates."

- Jessi_L_1324

"The ant: Am I dead?"

- Professional_Stay748

"That ant would make a great philosopher."

- skatalite2020

High-Risk Flights

"Some military helicopters on aircraft carriers are made of magnesium and should they catch fire, it's literally impossible to put them out as the magnesium will take the oxygen from the water and use that to keep burning."

"So the only thing that can be done is to push them overboard and even as they sink they will continue to burn until the magnesium is completely burned up."

- Strange_Stage1311

The First Scapegoat

"Some tribes of ancient people used to tie up a goat, whisper their sins to it, then allow it to 'accidentally' escape so it would carry their sins away and thus resolve them of guilt."

"It was, literally, their 'escape goat,' and that's where the term 'scapegoat' comes from."

- TheAbyssGazesAlso

The Power of Percentages

"Percentages can be reversed."

"For example, five percent of ten is ten percent of five."

- Routine_Leading_4757

"43 years and I'm only learning this now."

- TheMechTech80

Wordy Phobias

"The fear of long words is called 'hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.'

- Illustrious_Hawk_734

"Also, the fear of palindromes is called 'aibohphobia,' which just goes to show that the people who name phobias are a**holes."

- PhoenixMason13

"The question is, who even has a fear of palindromes?"

- ConduckKing

"Eve, Bob, and Hannah."

- Lostarchitorture

Not only are these facts unexpected, but it's wild to think that some of them are true.

But the simple, plain truth is that the truth is always all that simple. It can be weird and hard to believe, and yet, there it is.