Fresh off their victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, the Clemson Tigers football team was invited to the White House on Monday to celebrate with a feast of... fast food "delicacies."
Although the hungry athletes were likely more excited about the chance to visit the White House than they were discerning about the congealed burgers, the rest of us were certainly dismayed by Trump's tailgate party. They deserved so much more than cold Whoppers and pizza.
Fortunately, the team has been given the opportunity for a feast redo out of compassion.
On Tuesday, world-renowned Chicago restaurant Alinea invited the team over for a spread befitting the victors.
"I could care less about college football. But I'm personally inviting the Clemson Tigers team and coaches to Chicago to experience what an actual celebration dinner should be," tweeted Nick Kokonas, one of the owners of the esteemed Alinea Group
"I'm not joking. Someone let them know what The Alinea Group does. It'll be worth it."
I could care less about college football. But I'm personally inviting the Clemson Tigers team and coaches to Chicag… https://t.co/g47DFnfTMJ— nick kokonas (@nick kokonas)1547609036.0
According to the Sun Times, the restaurant group's establishment in Chicago boasts three Michelin stars – an honor that recognizes excellence in fine dining.
While no one from the Tigers has yet to respond, Kokonas said that Alinea's awarded chef Grant Achatz is capable of accommodating large groups like "sports teams, heads of state, companies, and, of course, private individuals of hundreds of people, all around the world."
Not that Kokonas opposes the occasional fast food, but he had a strong point about recognizing someone properly for their achievements.
@MaxTemkin @ClemsonTigers nothing wrong with fast food from time to time. But when you knock off a national champi… https://t.co/HIR61spOhY— nick kokonas (@nick kokonas)1547609605.0
The invitation was more than justified.
@KeithFriedman12 @nickkokonas @Frozen_Yolo @ThisKindaBrad @ClemsonTigers If you work your whole life on your craft… https://t.co/SnSkEdYycr— hashbrownbeach (@hashbrownbeach)1547671596.0
Cynics criticized Kokonas for making the team travel to Chicago for their victory meal.
But preparing such fine cuisine outside of the restaurant's parameters is complicated.
@paulkimchee @Orion2269 @DosEquis52 @ClemsonTigers @ClemsonFB when I say it's not possible, what I'm saying is that… https://t.co/GlZQZcTPYT— nick kokonas (@nick kokonas)1547665383.0
@TrentJulian2 @ClemsonTigers We could fly them here, get hosted hotel rooms, and tours of chicago. But we cannot ca… https://t.co/PvYr8m9lsy— nick kokonas (@nick kokonas)1547694411.0
What might be expected on the menu?
There were amusing suggestions:
@nickkokonas @ClemsonTigers Just for shits and giggles @Gachatz could definitely come up with a translucent big Mac flavored ravioli.— dom (@dom)1547612676.0
@dom86hopson @ClemsonTigers @Gachatz my head is already spinning with the possibilities.... And I think we can get… https://t.co/48kyFqKYA5— nick kokonas (@nick kokonas)1547612724.0
@BathtubCrank @ClemsonTigers well aware... and that's why we will serve the best possible versions of all of that a… https://t.co/QSIf1ji46R— nick kokonas (@nick kokonas)1547701055.0
What are the Tigers waiting for? They need to pounce on this delectable opportunity.
@nickkokonas @ClemsonTigers Some needs to verify this man’s account! And Clemson needs to accept the offer!— Michael Beuselinck (@Michael Beuselinck)1547617203.0
@nickkokonas @mikebee @ClemsonTigers We'll vouch for him - he will feed you guys properly.— Fine Dining Lovers (@Fine Dining Lovers)1547634641.0
@nickkokonas @ClemsonTigers CLEMSON!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE NICK UP ON THIS!!! https://t.co/Q6QVQEQTJW— Brandon (@Brandon)1547611097.0
@bllawson62 @nickkokonas @ClemsonTigers GREAT IDEA CLEMSON! You did a superb job, you out played your opponent. I'm… https://t.co/MJpcY8GD9o— Jonathan La Salle🏹 (@Jonathan La Salle🏹)1547757192.0
@nickkokonas @ClemsonTigers Oh my F* God. Alinéa & Grant Achatz!!!!!!! *faints* This is a class act offer. The meal… https://t.co/T3N6VBaCBA— Kafkaesque (@Kafkaesque)1547622073.0
All the opulence from inside the White House – with the silver platters and candelabras on the table – could not cloak Monday's celebratory banquet for what it truly was: a greasy smorgasbord of junk food that is just as accessible for the players as it is at their student union food court.
The president boasted about providing "American fast food," consisting of McDonald's, Wendy's, and Burger King, due to the absence of resident kitchen staff affected by the extended partial government shutdown.
Turns out the Alinea Group scored a major touchdown with their generous invitation. Bon appétit, fellas, should you choose to accept.